[Jackhammer]

I've been dating this girl for about 3 months now and I've been having this issue where I just cannot cum during sex. We used a condom for the majority of the time, but just recently switched to raw since she's now on the pill. I actually had to "fake" my orgasms (hilarious when you think about it) just to reassure her.

I have zero issues with arousal. I get hard frequently and stay hard when I'm with her and I can make her climax constantly, but I think through years of masturbating dry I just lost sensitivity in my penis whereas the death grip of my hand can still make me cum.

Has anyone gone through this? I've been going through a heavy masturbation phase but have vowed to stop until this problem resolves itself. Does sensitivity come back? I'm getting frustrated to the point where it's affecting my performance and making me way too self-conscious.

[Ensam]

Can you come if she gives you oral or a handjob? Also, how attracted to her are you? Be honest.

I've had this in the past, going raw usually fixed it. Cut out the porn, cut out the masterbation. The only way you get to come is in your girlfriend. It'll probably take about 2-3 weeks. I've noticed I have a much easier time coming with girls who are hot and in shape (duh) than those I'm only marginally attracted do. I guess my dick has a boner test and a jizz test.

[Jackhammer]

I can't come with oral or HJ's. It feels good and I actually come close, but I never get enough to push me over the edge. I'm pretty damn attracted to her. I usually get boners just making out with her and she has a great, tight little body.

I'm definitely going to avoid touching it in any way. I feel like it's a mental block at this point and the more frustrated I get, the more I psych myself out. I can get near the point of cumming, but just never get enough sensation.

[Parlay44]

The only time I've ever had a problem like that is if I'm bored with her or I'm not getting any kind of emotional connection from her ...she lays there like a sack of potatoes.

I think its in your mind. Try fucking another girl on the side and see if you have the same problem. Hit up a local rub'n tug joint and see if Suki can get you off with a massage and happy ending.

If she's not doing it for you try having sex in different places. Her parents bed. In the car. Have her dress up and role play with you. Strip tease and lap dance is the best.

[Ensam]

Yeah, if you're not coming by hand jobs or oral it's probably mental. Give it a month. Mark it off on your calendar and don't worry about it until a month has gone by. That's probably enough to fix it.

Other standard questions: Are you getting enough exercise? Lifting? Eating right? Drinking enough fluids?

If after a month it's still not working out it might be worth a trip to the doctors and a few sessions with a therapist who specializes in such matters.

[Hades]

Maybe it's because you're faking it. If you don't fake it to reassure her, she'll be that much more willing to please you sexually.

[n0000]

Stop porn and masturbation for awhile and see what happens. This is a pretty common phenomenon among people who use porn and masturbate.

Link

Quote:

For 3 years, I was unable to cum with my long relationship gf. She loves me so much that she would not care and our sex life was decent but with that major flaw. 2 weeks ago I found this subreddit, 12 days (almost 13) I decided to start this 3 months challenge. 1st week was a complete nightmare: bad dreams, edging, urges, frustration, anger.. fighting with myself every single night. 2nd week I was able to control it thanks to some tips from you guys: exercise, running, keeping myself busy, etc. Today, day 12th I had sex with my gf and iI was able to perform perfectly. When I reach climax and came I cried, finally proof that this is working. I feel stronger than ever and have no desire at all to fap. I know there will be days when the urge arises again but this time I know that not doing is more than worth it.

Quote:

Surprisingly i did not suffer from ED like many fellow addicts on YBOP. I was able to get hard at the prospect of sex with my girlfriend whenever it arrived, but I was unable to achieve orgasm, unless from very intense stimulation or from fantasising about some of the porn I watched frequently. As the relationship progressed, I was still masturbating and watching porn frequently and my girlfriend did not mind because it did not really affect our sex life. But the more I watched porn and masturbated, the less aroused I would be with her and/or reject sex with her (sometimes even just to masturbate to porn), which started to frustrate her more and more. Eventually she wanted me to stop because it had started to affect our sex life.

Quote:

Yes you read that right. DE. Stands for Delayed Ejaculation, colloquially known as death grip. For that past few months sex with my girlfriend has been good, but I've never been able to come from sex, blowjobs, or even handjobs. Since being together I've lightened up on the fapping and porn, but never gave it up all together. I was frustrated and I realized it was time for a reset. So I stopped. We had sex last night and for the first time I came from purely vaginal stimulation. It was amazing and we both were so happy. Thanks no fap for being there to browse when I wanted to fap.

There is also a Nofap/noporn thread that you might find useful. You may go through withdrawal but stay strong and it will definitely be worth it.

[IRTdenialist]

It could be just simple performance anxiety where you concentrate so much on pleasing the chick, you find it extremely difficult to relax and let it loose. It used to happen to me when I first started to enjoy the wonders of pussy as a young cub. Just relax bro and concentrate on your enjoyment more than you concentrate on hers.

[Dr. C]

Sounds to me like it is both the arrousal and the stimulation. Some pussies are tighter than others and some have particular curves and "kinks" to them that make them more or less pleasurable to fuck. I remember some girls I would fuck and with their super tight pussies I wouldn't have problems at all. Others it was near impossible. I remember one girl I screwed that I kept fucking and she kept coming but I was never able to come. It was really frustrating. Usually ended up jacking off on her tits. At the same time I was banging another girl that had a super tight pussy, no problemo! On a side note, our dicks are the same way, some are curved a little or this way or that way.

The first few times I screw a girl I'm often very hot for it and I'm able to come fairly easily. After that it gets progressively harder, especially with condoms. If I need to I often bring my laptop to bed and watch a porno while I'm fucking her. Recently did this in Budapest and it worked like a charm. Porn may not be the longterm answer but then again maybe it is. I've been hearing about the idea of quitting porn and I've often quit before for periods of a month or so to bring certain things in focus.

My problem often comes when I don't take the first "wave" of orgasm that comes over me. For me it's very simple to restrain and stop myself from coming but much harder to make myself forcefully come. You can control these things in large part by your breathing. Sometimes when a girl is blowing me I'll breathe much faster and contract my legs and this will help me come much faster. Just got out of bed with a girl and I ended up coming by jerking off while looking in her eyes and at her body. I think she is very hot, but nonetheless, after we screwed the first time and after I didn't pick the first "wave" of orgasm the second time, it was difficult/impossible for me to come in her so I pulled out and she jerked me of for a bit and then I finished up.

Concerning Hand Jobs and Blow Jobs, tell her how you like it and how she should do it. Don't be shy. Tell her everything she needs to do. Be nice but firm. Make sure you please her in bed but also make sure to bring the point across that it's important that you have a good time in bed and doing things "this and this" way helps you to enjoy yourself sexually. Usually with Americans I never have this problem, American girls I've been with usually have excellent HJ and BJ skills.

[Screwston]

Anal?

[UnW]

(02-02-2013 04:20 PM)Jackhammer Wrote:  

I've been dating this girl for about 3 months now and I've been having this issue where I just cannot cum during sex. We used a condom for the majority of the time, but just recently switched to raw since she's now on the pill. I actually had to "fake" my orgasms (hilarious when you think about it) just to reassure her.

I have zero issues with arousal. I get hard frequently and stay hard when I'm with her and I can make her climax constantly, but I think through years of masturbating dry I just lost sensitivity in my penis whereas the death grip of my hand can still make me cum.

Has anyone gone through this? I've been going through a heavy masturbation phase but have vowed to stop until this problem resolves itself. Does sensitivity come back? I'm getting frustrated to the point where it's affecting my performance and making me way too self-conscious.

I have the same thing going for me now, raw dogged a girl last weekend and didn't come, she had a death grip and started biting my cock and for me it was nothing, she's like "Gee you really don't feel much pain, do you?"

I didn't cum and we went for hours. Btw I had not jerked off a month before that night, but then again, I wasn't THAT into her. Maybe that was it. I was getting a bit worried but then jerked off to a huge load the next day