Quote: (01-10-2013 07:55 PM)WesternCancer Wrote:
If women want men that are not creepy (ie. want to have sex or at least be friends with them) and game teaches you how to be with women (ie. not creepy). Then isn't game exactly what these people are calling for. Are we not their saviors?
No, because the very act of teaching someone to better approach women is considered "creepy". You're being far too objective here-what you say makes sense logically, but women are not thinking in a strictly logical fashion when they engage in this kind of shaming language. It is their emotions that drive them.
Women want effortless attraction. They want a guy who is very attractive to them without any evidence that he's putting much effort into being that way. They very much value the romanticism of the "it just happened" kind of meeting, the idea that the guy was just there being himself and he was just right and he just happened to want her.
This is why media designed to appeal to women doesn't feature male leads who seem to consciously plan to meet the female characters. Romance/adult novels (read: chick porn) feature extremely attractive men who, more often than not, are just kind of there. There is no attempt to show the development of these men into the very attractive specimens they become, or the mistakes they make in growing and getting there. They just
are.
The "Disney Princess" movie models also reads this way, and does much to shape the perception of young women as they grow. The Prince does not game the Princess-he's just there, he's naturally charming, and he wants her. She has no idea how he became a prince or what he goes through to keep that title and maintain his authority, and that stuff rarely features in the story. He's just there and he's perfect for her-The End.
In female fantasy, the ideal male just
is. She could care less about the effort it takes for that man to become what he is, as long as he just
is.
The fact that many guys put in an effort to build that attraction and become that better man kills the ideal of organic attraction that most women want to maintain. The fact that something like "game" exists at all is even more damaging because it implies that there are some concrete formulas and methods that produce better results than others, killing the notion of "magical love" that they'd much prefer to cling to.
In the end, this all comes down to feelings. Women "feel" uncomfortable with inorganic models of sexual attraction. Game promotes an inorganic model of attraction by telling them that there is a formula that can increase a man's appeal and that a woman can be drawn with practice and perfection of this formula. Therefore, game makes women feel uncomfortable.
"Creepy" is the catch-all label used by women for that which makes them feel uncomfortable. Hence, game is creepy.
Women also do not like the idea of losing control. Girls want the ability to choose winners and losers in the sexual marketplace-this is, in their mind, their prerogative and right.
When those winners (alpha males and guys who are just generally successful with women) and losers (dudes who don't see much sexual success) start gathering on forums likes these in mass and begin discussing and actually codifying how to do things, they begin to undermine that power women would like to keep.
It also becomes harder to tell which guys fit the "effortless attraction" model they idealize and spend most of their youth dreaming about and which guys merely look the part after a lot of effort. Girls would, generally, prefer to be able to make this distinction themselves, separating the more organic "naturals" from the others who had to work at it or are merely putting on a well practiced cover for weaknesses in their game that girls would otherwise readily see.
With "game", men take some of this ability and choice away from them.
To men, this may not seem like a bad thing since men are merely trying to give women more of what they want.
The problem is that women do not want men making this decision and taking things out of their hands. This is a threat to the feminine imperative and a challenge to the romanticized organic model I described above, so women subconsciously shy away from it.
The feminine imperative calls for control over the direction of the sexual marketplace, and male cooperation and focused effort to improve their standing in said marketplace does nothing to help this aim.
The standard response, therefore, is to shame those who participate in those discussions. The term "creepy" is a good way to do that, and it fits since the whole idea makes women uncomfortable as well (creepy = "I don't like the
feeling he/it gives me").
Of course, this feminine imperative creates a dilemma for men who try to abide by it. If they put in effort and that effort is seen, that's creepy. If they don't put in effort and they're not naturals (very few men are), they are still creepy. Lose-lose.
This isn't a good place for men to be, but women generally don't care. They simply can't.
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