[Screwston]

Ive been through hell and back.

Its hard being a spoiled girl in America lol.

[painter]

^ haha! Like that Bill Burr clip, "Yeah, playing hide and seek in your pajamas with 6yr olds, it's so tough. You're living the dream, bitch!"

[RASER]

Don't forget, "no contact if you don't have a photo"

And "Don't wear glasses or a hat/cap" in your photo

http://www.rsvp.com.au

"Lifes about, shooting your load"

[Asaxon]

- I have the most AMAZING kids/ friends/ family
- My family means the world to me
- if you can't handle me on my bad days you are not worth enjoying me on my good ones
- only applications from ( insert demands) are accepted
- I am very intelligent ( often misspell " intelligent", funnily enough)
- I am only here because my friends said...
- Looking for someone who knows how to treat a lady ( aka buy her stuff and pretend she is a virgin?)

[HotLava]

"I enjoy Hiking"
"I'm down to earth"
"My family is very important to me"

[FourToTheFloor]

"Im not looking for sex. If I wanted to get laid, I'd just go to a bar."

[tenderman100]

"I'm independant."

I think that means "my necklaces only hang on me."

[gqntexas]

"Must be at least 6 ft tall".. Um honey, you're 5'2

"im not looking for sex" but has 4 scantily clad pics showing off her tattooed tits.

"I love to travel and ive been to ___, ___, ___" (and has tons of travel pics) Translation: My regular life is so fucking dull that i have to spend thousands of dollars to take 3 major trips a year by myself just to feel fufilled and so i can take pictures of me standing next to pyramids so my friends on facebook will think im cool

"im skeptical about this online thing" Translation: im not meeting a single person EVER, or replying, unless you are the equivalent of a GQ model, and even still ill give short vague answers and try to make to grovel

[Screwston]

Lets see if you can keep me entertained. I get distracted easily so good luck.

[Vitriol]

(01-14-2013 01:15 AM)gqntexas Wrote:  

"Must be at least 6 ft tall".. Um honey, you're 5'2

Yeah but she likes to wear heels when she goes out so you gotta be like 2 feet taller. Then later she can complain about how a dude between 6ft. 5in. and 7ft. is "creepy because he's too tall."

[Screwston]

I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet.

[HotLava]

"I'm a sassy southern Belle."

[Days of Broken Arrows]

"Former party girl looking to settle down" or "I've had all my fun, now it's time to get serious."

I'm guessing women have no idea how unappealing (and potentially dangerous) this sounds to a relatively stable guy looking to settle down.

[Screwston]

Don't wait too long or someone else may sweep me off my feet

[Screwston]

I had nothing handed to me and had to work hard for everything I have. Uhh congratulations, so do most people.

[Screwston]

I don't need a man, I can take care of my self. My kids have a father who takes very good care of them, so I am not looking for someone to take care of them either. I am a very independent woman if you are in my life it will be because I enjoy you and thats the bottom line. I enjoy four-wheeling, playing in the mud, I have a rzr that I ride every chance I get. I enjoy hip hop, rock, dance, and country music. I am a second year nursing student with two children. I work very hard to balance my personal life and my school life, school wins out cause its my dream. I am honest to a fault, I have no time for BS and games. When I have down time from school and my kids are with there dad I like to have a good time. I enjoy going on road trips and trying new things. I am a busy women, CATCH ME IF YOU CAN.

[Nonpareil]

Quote:

Pansexual, genderqueer, pro-sex, anti-patriarchy, homonormative, ultra-argumentative, foul-mouthed, super-fabulous beautiful woman of BMI 33.

Also, don't even bother if you're black, Indian, Chinese, Eskimo, Indigenous South American, South-African (black or white), Arab or Maori...but I'm NOT racist!

Yeah...who wouldn't want to date a racist fatty that doesn't like anything or anyone?


One of the good things about being a man is that we have two wonderful, male-only traits; self-awareness and reasonable expectations, which is why I guarantee you there are no men out there with a profile that reads as follows;

Quote:

I'm 33 years old and I live with my mother. My annual income is less than $10,000, I'm addicted to MMORPGs and I weigh 315 lbs. I am a Grand Dragon in the KKK and I find myself strangely turned on by children.

I am looking for a girl aged 16-22, who is 5'2-5'6 and weighs 85-110 lbs. Blonde hair, blue eyes, a C or D cup, an ass like a Brazilian girl and she must know how to cook, sustain interesting conversation and like everything that I like.

...because such a profile would lead to you getting mocked on message boards and getting dates with only low-value members of the opposite sex (if any). If you're in the business of getting laid, highlighting all the negative shit and saying 'take it or leave it' gets you nowhere.

[WesternCancer]

Know what's depressing. Even if you meet a chick in person you know she's thinking these things. There's no escape from the online-hamster.

[Screwston]

(01-17-2013 11:32 PM)Nonpareil Wrote:  

If you're in the business of getting laid, highlighting all the negative shit and saying 'take it or leave it' gets you nowhere.

I never thought about it like that. Why the hell do they put their worst traits and habits? You would think someone would AT LEAST lie about themselves to they look good on the profile.

[painter]

"Is there anyone real out there?" - said by a girl with no picture, haha.

No bitch, there's no one real out here, you're in the matrix!

[Private Man]

Women and girls assume that men want the "strong and independent" type of gal. The profiles reflect when they use codewords for "bossy and domineering." It's depressing.

http://theprivateman.wordpress.com/2011/...ing-women/

[Days of Broken Arrows]

Echoing what someone said above, I just found this gem:

"i am a ciswoman, who identifies as bisexual/pansexual/queer."

It's amazing the way these women take their little women's studies courses, then parrot the idiotic ideas as if they were engraved in stone, not invented to push a political agenda (which they are).

[RASER]

This is the rubbish x3 they post on RSVP [http://www.rsvp.com.au]

You're strong but not a bully; supportive but not intrusive; sensitive but not needy. You are attractive rather than handsome; fit and healthy but not self-obsessed. You love sex but not promiscuity; you enjoy a drink but not getting drunk. You will stand beside me, not in front or behind me. You're confident but not arrogant. You are clean but you know how to be dirty!

Why do you guys want "someone who can communicate" yet you can't even hold a conversation over the phone? Life isn't about messaging on here, or perpetual texting.... If you want a good communicator, then BE ONE!!! Same goes for wanting someone intelligent. Same goes if you want a partner who is attractive.... You should be attractive too....a decent photo is a good start, not a mug shot! Oh, and if you don't know what perpetual means, there goes the requirement that you need to be slightly intelligent!
And if you do a decent foot rub, you're the one I've been missing.....
And you don't smoke!
And it's VITAL you can hold a conversation!

A sense of humour is the most important, smart but that doesn't necessarily mean formally educated, a good dash of commonsense, a kind heart, and a stimulating conversationalist.
Negativity, anger, close-mindedness and grumpiness turn me off.
No bisexuals, cross dressers, necrophiliacs or bestiality. Sorry!

I bomb out on that last one

"Lifes about, shooting your load"

[TheMan]

(01-04-2013 06:31 PM)Jackhammer Wrote:  

I'm really sarcastic/have a great sense of humor = I am a boring, socially inept idiot who thinks that flirting/sarcastic humor means being a combative and snarky bitch no matter what a guy's message says

Which in a macro and ironic kinda way, is pretty damn funny