[amity]

i'm sure a few of you guys have been in this situation before
basically, ex who dumped me a few years back has been in touch more often since she became single and is now talking of visiting, probably staying over
had serious oneitis over this girl for a long time, mostly because she was an incredible lay (but she came with some issues! notably depression/self esteem/anxiety)
since then, i've digested quite a bit of red pill wisdom and have noticed that she's qualifying to me a lot in her recent communications
the woman i'm seeing now is a helluva lot more stable and a whole lot better as a long term prospect, and i have a lot more hand with her than i ever had with the ex

still, have to work out the logistics but i've given a 'yes' so far, but TBC
90% of me says it's all perfectly innocent
10% of me says she wants some no strings/some strings nookie

thoughts/opinions?

[Ego]

Suppose it depends on how it originally ended?

Does she deserve any of your time?

[Leaper]

If she dumped you, she probably still subconsciously thinks that she's above your level. Sorry to be so blunt, but it's true. Has she given any reasons for visiting other than for seeing you? Is she seeing other friends too? Will she be nearby for work or something else?

I'm all for hooking up with her if that's what she's interested in, but you have to be careful she doesn't try to use you for money, validation, etc, and just basically try to "beta orbiter" you based on the assumption that you're still smitten with her. I've seen it happen before.

And if you're actually still smitten with her, even a little bit, don't see her. Don't let her come over, don't sleep with her, don't keep regular contact with her if possible. Be honest with yourself. It's not worth re-developing oneitis and fucking up everything else you have going for you.

[WestIndianArchie]

You're still in contact with the ex? The one that dumped you? And now she's dangling the hint of sex?

Blue pill or red pill, she's using you for attention. Cut that bitch off and get your harem game up with some other chick that isn't a known manipulator.

Don't trade getting a nut for your sanity/peace of mind/sense of self.

WIA

[Partizan]

Keep your dignity and self respect in tact. Dont appear to sound desperate and use her for a bit of smashing. Two can play that game.

[Ego]

Or you could use the bird as a practise doll. See what it takes to manipulate her to get the desired results.

If you have turned things round and became more alpha it might get her hamster spinning. She might think "shit this dude has fucking thrived since he's been away from me, I must destroy him again" and thus becoming the eager beaver/anal fuck toy.

[amity]

hey, thanks for the replies
her dumping me was due to insecurity on my part as i learned of her significant service history, she rode the c0ck carousel in her late teens and early twenties but has toned it down a lot in recent years
massive display of omega grovelling on my part when she ditched me, cannot believe how much of a pussy i was back then
but am a world away from that now, a different person in many respects, so i really don't think she sees me as that soft touch insecure nice guy anymore

@Leaper normally, i'd agree with what you're saying, but this girl has self esteem issues, so i'm not sure that she sees herself above anyone, but you're right that i need to be cautious here
she's bringing a friend apparently, so the 'checking out my city' thing sounds legit but it has occurred to me that she might (at least subconsciously) want to leverage my friendship to massage her ego
she's not a b1tch though, so i think if she picks up on even a hint of neediness or beta behaviour on my part she won't hang around too long and certainly won't risk another roll in the hay with me

@Ego that's the thing, there's definitely an element of that going on, she can see that i've grown as a person and become more confident since she left me, so i can't rule out the possibility that she wants a piece of the new improved me, and that's something i'd like to find out

but overall, it's a tricky one
definitely need to give this some more thought, before giving her the green/red light

[Partizan]

(01-03-2013 11:35 AM)amity Wrote:  

hey, thanks for the replies
her dumping me was due to insecurity on my part as i learned of her significant service history, she rode the c0ck carousel in her late teens and early twenties but has toned it down a lot in recent years
massive display of omega grovelling on my part when she ditched me, cannot believe how much of a pussy i was back then
but am a world away from that now, a different person in many respects, so i really don't think she sees me as that soft touch insecure nice guy anymore

@Leaper normally, i'd agree with what you're saying, but this girl has self esteem issues, so i'm not sure that she sees herself above anyone, but you're right that i need to be cautious here
she's bringing a friend apparently, so the 'checking out my city' thing sounds legit but it has occurred to me that she might (at least subconsciously) want to leverage my friendship to massage her ego
she's not a b1tch though, so i think if she picks up on even a hint of neediness or beta behaviour on my part she won't hang around too long and certainly won't risk another roll in the hay with me

@Ego that's the thing, there's definitely an element of that going on, she can see that i've grown as a person and become more confident since she left me, so i can't rule out the possibility that she wants a piece of the new improved me, and that's something i'd like to find out

but overall, it's a tricky one
definitely need to give this some more thought, before giving her the green/red light

If you want to ride that pony one more time, then go ahead but be prepared for the worst. I am back in contact with two of my ex's. Another did but I promptly cut contact and cut her out of my life. These two girls are honeys but I will string them along to see what happens. I wont turn on the opportunity should a re-enactment of Lestor Piggot at the 2.15 in Doncaster is in the offing.

[Duke Castile]

Sounds like a great opportunity to reclaim some dignity and get a little revenge.

[relo]

(01-03-2013 10:49 AM)Leaper Wrote:  

If she dumped you, she probably still subconsciously thinks that she's above your level. Sorry to be so blunt, but it's true. Has she given any reasons for visiting other than for seeing you? Is she seeing other friends too? Will she be nearby for work or something else?

I'm all for hooking up with her if that's what she's interested in, but you have to be careful she doesn't try to use you for money, validation, etc, and just basically try to "beta orbiter" you based on the assumption that you're still smitten with her. I've seen it happen before.

And if you're actually still smitten with her, even a little bit, don't see her. Don't let her come over, don't sleep with her, don't keep regular contact with her if possible. Be honest with yourself. It's not worth re-developing oneitis and fucking up everything else you have going for you.

I've been in a near identical situation, girl was qualify king so hard...she ended up asking me for money. After she saw that wasn't happening she cunted out on me pretty hard.


I really don't understand how some people recycle exes here, once its done its just fuckin done for me. She even knew i was fucking hotter and younger.

Fwb is diff of course.

[Beyond Borders]

(01-12-2013 04:35 AM)relo Wrote:  

[quote='Leaper' pid='339847' dateline='1357228193']
I really don't understand how some people recycle exes here, once its done its just fuckin done for me. She even knew i was fucking hotter and younger.

Fwb is diff of course.

Yep, when it comes to serious relationships, "Never walk down the same road twice" is a good adage to apply. I know this from bitter experience.

[amity]

just found out she's postponing her trip for the time being, due to lack of funds
she was never good with money, so am not in the least bit surprised
and overall i think it's a good thing, as deep down there's still some lingering oneitis in me over this chick
so this gives me time to work on myself a bit more and when i do finally see her, i'll be in control and on top of my game

[Ego]

I don't think you should be trying as hard to impresse her. You should improve yourself for yourself and to get access to better pussy.

If she really wanted to see you she would see you. I'd drop her.

[rudebwoy]

Must be the season, I have had one contact me from 15 years ago or more. Seems very aggressive in meeting up, I have told her I am busy and put her on ice.

To the OP - if a girl dumped you then you NEVER want to hook up with her again. In your own words she rode the cock carousel hard and probably thinks she can continue with you where things left off.
You have a decent girl now, no real need to see the ex for some nookie.

[Sombro]

Quote:

but am a world away from that now, a different person in many respects, so i really don't think she sees me as that soft touch insecure nice guy anymore

That is your leverage. Go for Jealousy Game if it's worth your while.
Or not.

[amity]

(01-27-2013 06:33 PM)Ego Wrote:  

I don't think you should be trying as hard to impresse her. You should improve yourself for yourself and to get access to better pussy.

If she really wanted to see you she would see you. I'd drop her.

That's the thing bro, she was the best I tapped
And now, she's asking me to come visit her
If I do, there's a good chance I'll end up staying with her
And if that happens, we'll end up in the sack, no question
Have to decide if tapping that bodacious ass a few more times is worth it..

[Christian McQueen]

"And now, she's asking me to come visit her"

^Nothing has changed since she dumped you. Note: she asked you to come visit her.

I'd flip it and if she wants to see you, she can come to you.

Guaranteed she'll come up with an excuse.

[amity]

That's a fair point McQueen.
I noticed that too, it's low investment on her part.
All the risk is on my side.
I would be buying into her frame, and that's not a good place to be.
I'll try the flip like you suggested, let's see what happens.

[Texas_Tryhard]

If she agrees to come see you, or if you ignore the above advice and go see her, I strongly suggest you confirm sexual intentions beforehand.

Word it a little more slyly but leave no ambiguity.

Turn the conversation sexual, and then: "It's been a while, are you still crazy in the sack?"
She responds however. Doesn't really matter.
"Well we'll find out when you visit, won't we?"

If she wavers at all, cancel the meetingup break off all contact. Normally you have to be a bit more roundabout but she's just not worth any of your effort unless she's a slam dunk freebie like this.

Don't be her bitch tourguide and validation machine. She just ended a relationship and probably wants to use you to make her feel good about herself again. Make sure she understands the transaction and agrees to it:

You provide the location, your company, and your dick.
She provides a hole to sink it in, and pleasant company.

Nothing else.

[kaotic]

my ex called my work to talk to me since she deleted my number, i honestly didn't care but she wanted to come say hi, i thought fuck potential.

She even gave the vibe off saying she loved me so much, misses me alot, we had grea sex. Her was ex was horible blah blah blah. I kept my cool teased her and confirmed how bad she was back then and her regrets.

She wanted to wanted to meet that night total dtf sign. I had better plans aka a hotter girl. We planned the next day, what do you know ? She flaked.

She just wanted validation, I gave her a bit, it's all she needed apparently. I'll bet anything she's with that dude still.

I thought I was gonna get it in easy, turns out she's hitting the wall and just wanted validation that she "still has it". I cut off all communication immediately after that.

[playerwithapurpose]

invite her straight to your house at a time convenient for you or tell her to fuck off

[tylerdurden1993]

I don't understand the continuation of this thread the original post for this thread was posted by the OP on the 3rd January 2013. Fast forward to the 27th January 2013 where the OP said that she postponed the trip due to lack of funds.

Now today a whole 1 year 2.5 months later the OP reopens the thread like nothing has happened he even replied to a banned members post and continues where he left of saying that this time he was going to see her.

I smell a or has this guy being in a coma for the past 14 months.

[amity]

@Tyler. Not impressed dude, no need for the trolling insinuations.
The chick came back in touch with me lately, hence the gap.
And if a banned poster makes a valid point, I'll use that to further the discussion, that's all.
Any more questions?

[funkyzeit]

She's trying to play you. See if you can fuck her and then tell her to fuck off.