[mybestshot]

Hey guys, I'm a 22 year old asian studying in a local university. I have a girlfriend. I work out. I practice guitar. My grades are good. I have no glaring mental or physical defects. She is 21 years old, she is not pretty, but she is acceptably thin and she has a beautiful attitude towards me (she treats me half of the meals and she buys me gifts).

I've been stalking these forums for awhile and the discussions here have been really educational for me. Now, I need to pose a question:

Will I be happier in the long-term ditching my current girlfriend and chasing prettier tail? I know happiness is wanting what you get, not getting what you want and all that... but I still get this feeling that I'm being a loser if I settle for second-best. How would you handle this situation?

Thanks for reading!

[Albertron]

I think the fact that you asked this question already shows how you feel about the relationship. Take that red pill.

[jerome]

(12-30-2012 12:39 PM)mybestshot Wrote:  

Hey guys, I'm a 22 year old Chinese studying in a local university. I have a girlfriend. I work out. I practice guitar. My grades are good. I have no glaring mental or physical defects. She is 21 years old, she is not pretty, but she is acceptably thin and she has a beautiful attitude towards me (she treats me half of the meals and she buys me gifts).

I've been stalking these forums for awhile and the discussions here have been really educational for me. Now, I need to pose a question:

Will I be happier in the long-term ditching my current girlfriend and chasing prettier tail? I know happiness is wanting what you get, not getting what you want and all that... but I still get this feeling that I'm being a loser if I settle for second-best. How would you handle this situation?

Thanks for reading!

Its nice to have a pretty girlfriend, but this girl sounds like she is a good person? Only you would know this.

If your happy in a relationship why destroy it? Only a hamster would do this....be logical.....

Ask yourself are you happy in this relationship? only you know this.

Ive dated hot girls and good girls, I have to say I enjoy hanging out with girls that are fun to be around and who don't have a chip on there shoulder and looking to constantly test my manhood.

I would rather date a average girl...than put up with all the bs of a hotter women....

Be carefull for what you ask for....monkey paw...Edgar Allan Poe

[Wool Suit]

I ditched my hot girlfriend for an even hotter one. Now I need an even hotter replacement.

It's like an addiction once you start.

[Mage]

You need to decide to what percentile of atractiveness you want your woman to be. Are you ok with 90% of women being more beautyful than yours? Or with every second being more beautyful? Or you need to see more beautyful women rarely to feel content with what you have?

For my eyes there is a certain treshold in atractiveness after which it is pointless to compare because all women in this tier are very attractive. My LTR woman is from this tier and cannot be lower. I don't seek a better looking one as differences are minor.. The only thing that kind of bothers me is ageing.

In my country every somewhere 1/20th of young women is in this tier of pointless comparison. In USA maybe its rarer, I don't know.

[Asaxon]

Beauty or not, having a steady girlfriend at 22 comes with the biggest of all costs: opportunity cost. Do not squander your best years in a semi- fulfilling relationship. You can settle later after playing the field. Also, your market value will be much higher once you are 25 and older so you would attract someone better looking. Unless you feel you are currently dating above your weight class or the girl truly is "special" ( trust me, she probably is not when looked at without the ros-colored glasses) there is no need for you to be exclusive at this point. I wish someone had told me this when I was 22!

[blackglasses]

it's your life. If you feel that she is making you happy then why leave? On the other hand I thing that is young to be in a serious relationship

[Rah]

Listen to Asaxon: it doesn't even matter how she looks, you shouldn't be getting tied down with any girl for too long when you're so young. I made the mistake of dating a 6 for all of college and a couple years after -- I would kill to be able to tell my 22 year old self to snap the fuck out of it. Break it off, she will get over it and find someone who will be happy to marry her.

[mybestshot]

Thanks for all the advice, people. What would be the best way to let her go so that she doesn't become a jaded bitch? She's a good girl and I don't want to make it more difficult for her next boyfriend. Am I thinking too much or is there really a way to make it a soft landing?

[Scarface]

If you want to let her go easily, I suggest playing the role of an insecure boyfriend. Become needy and clingy, start bombarding her with texts requesting to see her at irregular hours at a constant basis; basically, just turn her off and make her fall out of love with you.

[Veloce]

Nah, here's how you play this one, OP. This is called "being honest". It might seem foreign to you since you're at a stage in your life where your insecurity works against you, making you believe that revealing your honest self will have detrimental effects. I know this because I was there.

Go to your girl and tell her, "Baby, you're a great girl and I love being with you. I'm being sincere here. You treat me well, you make me happy. But I'm a man with options and I'm one horny motherfucker. I got this primal urge to fuck every beautiful woman I see, and this whole time I've been suppressing that to be with you. But now I'm at a point where it's making me unhappy, and I don't want to take it out on you. I understand if what I'm saying upsets you and you never want to see me again, but I have to be honest with you here. I'd rather give you the dignity of my honest feelings than ever cheat on you or deceive you. I won't push you away if you decide to stick around, because I'm selfish like that, but I understand if you leave."

If she leaves you, at least you'll hurt her less.

If she sticks around, you got a girl that takes care of you and is cool with you banging other chicks.

Also pretty high chance of threesome here.

[sixsix]

Honestly, I'm going to be a contrarian. Slightly.

I had the perfect girl, and I was hurting her a lot because I wasn't done playing the field.

A friend of mine, major player, says it's not worth it. You fuck a lot of girls and it doesn't mean shit. He still wants the girl he loved but can't get her anymore. So he's fucking a lot of girls, but it's kind of empty.

I know he's right, but also that he only feels that way because he played the field. Beforehand he felt the same hunger.

So I ruin it. Play the field. And there you go, it's empty and I ruined things with a girl that loved me more than anything. I knew it would happen, but I only understood this after the fact. Nobody can tell you this, but your own experience.

My perfect girl was smoking hot though, so your mileage may vary.

[BIGINJAPAN]

(01-01-2013 02:33 PM)sixsix Wrote:  

Honestly, I'm going to be a contrarian. Slightly.

I had the perfect girl, and I was hurting her a lot because I wasn't done playing the field.

A friend of mine, major player, says it's not worth it. You fuck a lot of girls and it doesn't mean shit. He still wants the girl he loved but can't get her anymore. So he's fucking a lot of girls, but it's kind of empty.

I know he's right, but also that he only feels that way because he played the field. Beforehand he felt the same hunger.

So I ruin it. Play the field. And there you go, it's empty and I ruined things with a girl that loved me more than anything. I knew it would happen, but I only understood this after the fact. Nobody can tell you this, but your own experience.

My perfect girl was smoking hot though, so your mileage may vary.

A lot of guys think this way. Just like there is a ton of beautiful women out there, there is also a ton that will love you more than life itself. So don't be thinking you will never find that again. It is far easier to find that from a woman than a hot one

[BIGINJAPAN]

When I was in school I fucked my way through almost every womens varisty team. Soccer, volleyball, basketball and some of the hockey chicks that weren't dykes.

I would not have given that up for any women to this day. Laying the groundwork now in college will help you out leaps and bounds by the time you get to your late 20's and early 30's. Not only socially with women but in work and business.

Get rid of the girl and focus on yourself and your inner game. What you do in your younger years will determine your happiness for the rest of your life.

[Tigerblood]

The thing to keep in mind here is that you're not a woman and you probably won't immediately fall out of love with your girlfriend after you've banged some other broad [with the exception of first-time cheaters - the Petraeus problem]. Maybe even the opposite. The other thing is that, again unlike a woman, control over your emotions now will serve you well throughout life. So the ability to fake a relationship with this ugly girl while you play the field and tighten your game is not as big a loss as all the posters above imply.

It seems like a real dilemma, but it's probably not. I suspect the best solution for you would be to Roissy-stylesystematically cheat on her and after a while run with the "honesty game" that thedude3737 outlined.

I got three reasons why I'm saying the above.

First, you don't want to jump off before you find your SMV. Women know this a lot better than men and will let a dead relationship with a guy straggle on just because they haven't found a better dick.
Second, don't underestimate how helpful she can be in indirectly raising your value via career and keeping you less stressed in general.
Third, being with her raises your SMV in two ways - you're less stressed for sex in general and pre-selection works in your favor for slightly hotter girls.

Of course, the key to making the whole thing work is to have a private life that your main girl can't access - password protecting everything, shutting down your facebook, etc. I'm curious how this turns out.

[Ovid]

My advice is this: Be brutally honest and, without factoring in anything about "love" or lack thereof, decide whether or not this girl would make a good mother for your children, and if you can easily see yourself married to her down the road, and spending every day in her company for the rest of your life. Do you share common values and beliefs about life, and have similar views about how to do things, how a family should be structured, children should be raised, money earned, etc? Evaluate her on her own merits, and not based on any bodily-chemical-induced feelings you may have -love is an aid to a relationship, but its presence is meaningless as an indicator of whether or not a relationship should be maintained. Also, do not worry about her feelings, because in this question which affects your future happiness you cannot afford to be anything but "selfish." If a relationship isn't working for one, it cannot work for both.

If you can easily see yourself marrying this girl, then give serious thought to keeping her, because girls of this calibre do not come along every day, and in the long-term game, all womens' looks fade. A girl who is ugly at 20 could be the most attractive of her friends when they are all in their 60s.

If you cannot, then do her and yourself a favor and end things as soon as you can. She is in the relationship only because she craves male validation and you're just hanging in there because inertia makes it easier to stay than go, and you get a pretty good deal in terms of sex and other perks of being in a relationship. But, you yourself admit she's not attractive enough on a basic physical level to satisfy you (otherwise you'd not have mentioned her looks) and the fact that you are thinking of ending things hints strongly that it is the right thing for you to do, since you know that you can likely do better as a young man in your prime. Girls really are a dime a dozen for smart, capable dudes with game and their shit together, so now would be an excellent time to play the field. In fact, unless the two of you are so close that you feel marriage is an absolute given, and soon, you almost have a duty to yourself to play the field, because otherwise you have no way to truly know how to evaluate girls, what you like in them and what you don't personality-wise, and other "intangibles." It's very easy to get tied up in a relationship and dramatically sell yourself short. The only surefire remedy for this is to date, interact, and sleep with lots.

Until you've played the field sufficiently to figure out exactly what you want, and have built enough value to attain it, the way to play the game is 'catch and release.'

[Samseau]

If you're enjoying your relationship with this girl, don't throw it away.

Take the gentleman's solution - cheat. Keep your current girlfriend while gaming new chicks. Slowly distance yourself from your old girl. She'll go crazy trying to please you and you'll get tons of easy sex and attention while you fuck new broads.

Welcome to playerland!

[XXL]

are you that happy with her?

[amity]

my current babe is not a stunner by any means, but she sure as hell passes the b0ner test, and i've had some pretty good times with her
but i'll admit i definitely keep my eyes open for other opportunities, if you stop doing that you might as well take out your pipe, throw on your slippers and start watching val doonican