I really want to give up drinking when I go out but I have never picked up a girl without alcohol. Anxiety seems to be an issue when sober. I'm aiming towards a more healthy lifestyle. I would like to avoid alcohol as much as possible but I can't think of anything more uncomfortable then being sober at a bar or club. What are my options?
Give up alcohol?
Quote: (03-20-2010 07:20 PM)intense Wrote:
I really want to give up drinking when I go out but I have never picked up a girl without alcohol. Anxiety seems to be an issue when sober. I'm aiming towards a more healthy lifestyle. I would like to avoid alcohol as much as possible but I can't think of anything more uncomfortable then being sober at a bar or club. What are my options?
I'm in the same boat as you... drinking heavy just does so much damage. If you havent already, try different types of alcohol, they can affect you differently.
What has worked for me is pre-gaming with fun social people and carrying that momentum into the club. Also, experiment with some lighter drugs like caffeine. For me, Yerba Mate is tops... way better than coffee or Powerthirst.
Go out sober a bunch and then you'll realie why you failed so misserably trying to pick drunk.
You're not just really hungover are you?
Aloha!
Aloha!
A one or two drink buzz is the sweet spot. Uninhibited enough to dance or get touchy feely, but still sharp enough to read everything. And feeling fine the next morning. Just strictly stick to one drink an hour. It's not that hard.
I used to be a fairly heavy drinker but in the last year I set a two or three drink budget for the night. Sometimes to keep up appearances I order soda water with lime.
I gave up alcohol for lent so I've been doing the stone sober thing lately. It turns out having a drink is pretty important for interacting well with strangers. It gives me the "fun social energy" whereas sober I get bored and withdrawn.
I used to be a fairly heavy drinker but in the last year I set a two or three drink budget for the night. Sometimes to keep up appearances I order soda water with lime.
I gave up alcohol for lent so I've been doing the stone sober thing lately. It turns out having a drink is pretty important for interacting well with strangers. It gives me the "fun social energy" whereas sober I get bored and withdrawn.
I haven't had a drop of alcohol in about 6 weeks because I'm really trying hard to lose weight and get in shape just now. As a positive side-effect of that however, I've been able to practice going out and socialising stone-cold sober. Really, it's a lot easier than you'd think and at the moment I'm not missing alcohol at all. I'm going to start drinking again within the next couple of weeks (definitely going to do a bit of boozing when I get to NYC) but within limits. I think this is one thing that Mediterraneans and Latin Americans have got right ... you can have a few drinks, get a little buzz or whatever but not get totally wasted. Apart perhaps from on the odd special occasion, I don't care if I never get trashed again. Hangovers, memory loss, wasting money, making a cock of yourself etc are just not worth it.
As for your anxiety, yes I definitely feel where you're coming from. The only advice I can give you however is to be brave and practice. Guys like Roosh, G Manifesto etc tend to emphasise the importance of good attitude in pickup, rather than relying too much on your content etc. If you have the right attitude towards rejection (i.e. looking towards it as a learning experience) as well as the right attitude towards socialising and approaching (i.e. basically having fun) then you'll soon find your anxiety decreases and/or disappears. I've become a hell of a lot more confident overall since I said goodbye to booze. Yes, I'm going to start it again but I think going sober has been a positive thing.
The other thing I'd highly recommend is to make sure that you're going out with a bunch of people you can have fun with. If you're not already in a good mood, put yourself in a good mood before you leave the house. Watch some comedy, listen to some good tunes, whatever. If you're with people who make you laugh and you have fun, you'll find that your reliance on drink becomes less and less, as you'll naturally become comfortable and develop a fun vibe in the bar/club environment.
As for your anxiety, yes I definitely feel where you're coming from. The only advice I can give you however is to be brave and practice. Guys like Roosh, G Manifesto etc tend to emphasise the importance of good attitude in pickup, rather than relying too much on your content etc. If you have the right attitude towards rejection (i.e. looking towards it as a learning experience) as well as the right attitude towards socialising and approaching (i.e. basically having fun) then you'll soon find your anxiety decreases and/or disappears. I've become a hell of a lot more confident overall since I said goodbye to booze. Yes, I'm going to start it again but I think going sober has been a positive thing.
The other thing I'd highly recommend is to make sure that you're going out with a bunch of people you can have fun with. If you're not already in a good mood, put yourself in a good mood before you leave the house. Watch some comedy, listen to some good tunes, whatever. If you're with people who make you laugh and you have fun, you'll find that your reliance on drink becomes less and less, as you'll naturally become comfortable and develop a fun vibe in the bar/club environment.
Quote: (03-21-2010 11:55 AM)kingkong Wrote:
It gives me the "fun social energy" whereas sober I get bored and withdrawn.
Chemically, alcohol is depressant that slow down brain activity. Yet we get "social energy" from it. You would think it would take a stimulant to get a social boost. Kinda funny how that works huh?
So my theory is that anything you do drunk, you could do even better sober, so long as you believe you can. Alcohol just lowers social anxiety and lets you do what you'd normally want to do but are just too inhibited to do because of fear.
Quote:Quote:
alcohol is depressant
In lower doses alcohol kind of *is* a stimulant. It suppresses the parasympathetic nervous system first, which is sort of the "brake" on neural activity. So brain activity picks up a lot on one drink. This is why people get talkative and more creative on a drink or two.
I'm a firm believer in drugs as tools. I regularly use them to work 12 hours straight and I know I am simply not capable of doing that without them. My relationship to alcohol is the same. I know I need a drink to show the right kind of interest in people.
Quote: (03-20-2010 07:20 PM)intense Wrote:
I really want to give up drinking when I go out but I have never picked up a girl without alcohol. Anxiety seems to be an issue when sober. I'm aiming towards a more healthy lifestyle. I would like to avoid alcohol as much as possible but I can't think of anything more uncomfortable then being sober at a bar or club. What are my options?
If you want to pick up sober, day game or street game. Being the sober person in the bar or club is hardly a very enjoyable experience.
I agree with some of the other fellas here. I am trying to cut down on the drinking (mostly to avoid hangovers) and having a few drinks (3 tops) has given me the right kind of crispy buzz.
After the 3 drinks I switch to oj, cran juice or even water. Most of the bars that I go to serve them in the same glasses as the mixed drinks, so no one needs to know what you're drinking.
After the 3 drinks I switch to oj, cran juice or even water. Most of the bars that I go to serve them in the same glasses as the mixed drinks, so no one needs to know what you're drinking.
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