[Giovonny]

(11-26-2012 10:47 AM)TheMachinist Wrote:  

WHOA. JUST FUCKING WHOA...Upon the recommendation of another member earlier in this thread I read the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" today. That book may single handedly be responsible for bringing about some serious changes in my life.I've never had somebody put into words EXACTLY how I feel. I've known for a number of years that my behavior and attitudes were and are a large part of the reason I'm not happy with life. The author of that book pretty much laid out my life and all it's fucked up glory on paper without ever meeting me.Not only that but he touched on why I am the way I am and why me being Mr.Nice Guy is always gonna fail. There are some seriously bad emotional defense mechanisms from my youth that have followed me into adulthood.Lying in an effort to seek approval from people,being passive-aggresive,putting others needs before mine,seeking relationships with "damaged goods", the list goes on and on.The book also explained my sexual disfunction and behavior.This has been an intense last few weeks to say the least...My quest to get laid and change things in my life for the better continues...

That book sounds great.

[TheMachinist]

I've swallowed the red pill...

[TheMachinist]

Well after 4 1/2 years I just got laid!!! I paid for it.Although I have no shame in admitting that I paid for sex I can't say I have any desire to repeat the experience of p4p.The last few hours have been a reminder of what I've been depriving myself of by not actively pursuing the women I desire. I got two solid loads off and on the way home I had the revelation that my frequent porn usage and tugging on myself all these years has had a VERY NEGATIVE effect on my sex life,opinion of and drive to pursue women. As I type this I am deleting all the porn I own off of my computer.I am no longer gonna substitute pixels on a screen or pictures in a magazine for the real thing. I really wish I wouldn't have hidden my problems from those closest to me. I have zero doubt that my friends and family would have talked some sense into me about harboring so much hate towards women.I've confided in a close friend recently what's been going on and he's been nothing but supportive. I no longer feel the need to lie about and cover up the lack of women in my life.I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I'm gonna continue to learn as much as I can about "Game" and try and do what I know I should've been doing all along which is spit game and enjoy women for what they are. I really wanna thank anybody that offered words of encouragement on this thread...Now it's time to chase some skirts!!!

[Giovonny]

(11-24-2012 06:09 PM)TheMachinist Wrote:  

I really wanna see and hear what a succesful cold approach sounds like.

This thread is full of approaches

More cold approaches

[rationalize_this]

(11-27-2012 03:26 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

(11-24-2012 06:09 PM)TheMachinist Wrote:  

I really wanna see and hear what a succesful cold approach sounds like.

This thread is full of approaches

More cold approaches

A real successful cold approach you wouldn't even notice occurring.

[TheMachinist]

Pre-drought I typically met women thru friends,school or work.I never had a need to develop any approach game.Once introductions are made or the general ice is broken I can hold my own.If I can develop my approach game and ditch the beta tendancies I'll be golden.

[punchboy]

(11-26-2012 10:47 AM)TheMachinist Wrote:  

WHOA. JUST FUCKING WHOA...Upon the recommendation of another member earlier in this thread I read the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" today. That book may single handedly be responsible for bringing about some serious changes in my life.I've never had somebody put into words EXACTLY how I feel. I've known for a number of years that my behavior and attitudes were and are a large part of the reason I'm not happy with life. The author of that book pretty much laid out my life and all it's fucked up glory on paper without ever meeting me.Not only that but he touched on why I am the way I am and why me being Mr.Nice Guy is always gonna fail. There are some seriously bad emotional defense mechanisms from my youth that have followed me into adulthood.Lying in an effort to seek approval from people,being passive-aggresive,putting others needs before mine,seeking relationships with "damaged goods", the list goes on and on.The book also explained my sexual disfunction and behavior.This has been an intense last few weeks to say the least...My quest to get laid and change things in my life for the better continues...

Glad to hear my suggestion was useful. I found it very useful too.

[punchboy]

(11-27-2012 11:38 PM)TheMachinist Wrote:  

Pre-drought I typically met women thru friends,school or work.I never had a need to develop any approach game.Once introductions are made or the general ice is broken I can hold my own.If I can develop my approach game and ditch the beta tendancies I'll be golden.

I think your situation is very similar in many aspects to where I used to be. Not that I am awesome now, but of all my friends, I am the one who opens girls - so, I have clearly made HUGE progress. So, here is my story, hopefully it will help.

I used to be really paralyzed at the idea of approaching women. I had a sort of "rejection fear". I was afraid a girl might reject me, and so I would not approach. But girls would approach me, so my fears were clearly unjustified.

What I found very useful is approaching for the sake of approaching. If I started talking to a girl at the bar thinking about getting laid, I would totally screw up. Thinking back about it, I guess I conveyed that I was insecure, that I just wanted sex, and I probably look awkward.

But when I started talking to her thinking "let's make a new friend", I would be very cool. And this would be the winner.

That is what has helped me. Roosh has a post on going out solo in which he correctly points out that once you get into "social mood" approaching becomes very easy. So, when going out, initially I set the goal as "let's meet new friends" - approaching girls with the goal of creating a social circle. It made me feel very confident, as I saw that girls liked me, that they found me interesting, and unless you found a real bitch, few girls will show you the finger or be really mean if you start talking to them in a casual way. And even if they are bitch... fuck them. Don't let them put you down. EVER. Remember, you are there to enjoy your evening, to have fun.

So, the secret for me was to have the first or the first few approaches done. When passed the first approach or two, the rest would be very very easy.

[TheMachinist]

The "make friends" approach is cool if that's what you REALLY want but I've found in the past that I end up being the guy that chix wanna talk to, not the guy they wanna fuck.I'm trying to avoid that.I wanna be the guy thats leaving loads in her mouth not the guy that she talks to about it afterward. Getting "friend zoned" has probably played the biggest role in my negative view of women. I was pretty close to the hottest chick in my neighborhood growing up and into adulthood and nothing sucks more than listening to her talk about fucking and sucking some other guy. Don't get me wrong I did fuck around with some of her friends but being a "friend" to a woman is the LAST thing I wanna do.

[punchboy]

Yes, well, my suggestion was how to get into "approach mood" and remain cool if you cannot - that was my problem.

When asked what he thought about before taking an important shot, Jordan said that he would think about EVERYTHING ELSE. My suggestion was along those lines.

[TheMachinist]

I think the best thing for me is gonna be to "be social" but direct without being rude,pushy or threatening. I've been called intimidating alot but that's because I don't smile near enough. I'm trying to turn the frown,upside down.