[redstar]

I'm curious how many broken hearts have been caused by the members here. The player lifestyle seems to lend itself to doing that if you don't give it a lot of brutal honesty as well. I remember when I was a kid someone telling me I'd grow up to be a heartbreaker haha.
Specifically it's interesting to think about ratios of broken hearts to notch counts, is it possible to have a high notch count but low number of broken hearts (theirs not yours) or do they go hand in hand? I'm still fairly young so it's yet to develop to a point where I can say a lot about it.

Also feel free to give tips on avoiding this but also getting what we all want.

[gringochileno]

The worst thing I've ever done to a girl (which I'll freely admit was a pretty dick move) was when I was banging a 30 year-old Chilean girl with a kid and lying to her about living in the country until the day before I had to leave, when I made up some bullshit about being on a leave of absence and having it suddenly revoked. She was pretty messed up by it and kept crying about how I "brought a light into her life" and to please, please come back, etc.

I actually kept in contact with her on facebook chat about once a month for 10-15 minutes at a time so I could smash again the next time I went back to Chile. I met up with her to fuck 3 times my first week back, then got bored because I got a new notch from a hotter girl so I cut off all contact. She hit me up on facebook one time and I chatted with her for 5 minutes but after that total radio silence.

In general, though, I think I let girls down fairly easy. On the one hand, I definitely do use tactics to string them along and keep banging without having to put in effort by taking them out and shit, but I also don't think I put out much of a "boyfriend vibe" so their expectations don't get built up too much in the first place. That one girl fell hard, though, and I could tell I really hurt her.

[redstar]

"Brought a light into her life" whoah. Thanks for sharing.

There's that balance of giving a girl a good time and having a positive effect on her life (if she deserves it) while also maximising your own pleasure in life that can be hard to keep sometimes.

[Screwston]

When I started out 8 years ago, I broke quite a few. Girls started getting manlier as the years went by and it happened less and less. Now, I cant remember the last time its happened. Do people still fall in love?? I dont like to keep girls around anymore after I get the sex so maybe thats why. My player genes leak through my pores and everyone sees. Girls know what theyre getting into and eject before its to late.

[Matt3B]

Krauser's just wrote a decent post on this on his blog.

If you break a girl's heart or not dumping her, fuck it. I think it's a cumulative result of the entire female population being cold, selfish bitches that I wouldn't give a shit about breaking a girl's heart. How many hearts do you think that girl has broken? Sure, beta males fall for that stuff with them and the girls have them wrapped around their little finger and maybe the guys deserve it for not seeing warning signs or reading situations properly, but breaking her heart may serve her right for opening her legs to the first alpha male that comes along and gets her so excited from a break from the norm. If not her, then certainly what most girls stand for. They're all the same.

Mark Minter said it perfectly when he wrote "girls will leave a guy bleeding on the side of the road if it suits her hypergamy".

[The Fantasist]

I personally take no pleasure in it at all but it's the inevitable consequence of being in the game. I prefer to act in such a way that they are forced to dump me. Let's the girl think she made the decision and hence lessens the heart break for them.

"If you break a girl's heart or not dumping her, fuck it. I think it's a cumulative result of the entire female population being cold, selfish bitches that I wouldn't give a shit about breaking a girl's heart." Krauser.

That's a pretty bitter outlook in my eyes and not a conclusion I ever hope to reach.

[Stitch]

Yeah, pretty bitter. I'm having real trouble with this at the moment actually; really good woman (honestly) whom I'd like to stay in touch with but I moved away. She's really pushing for marriage and it's not going to happen (maybe someday but certainly not for years). The more cynical would say "fuck it", but she was really good to me and I'd like to think that good people of either gender ought to be treated well. How else would one encourage good behaviour?

[Mage]

Most women are guilty for their hearts being broken. Even trough they and society think they have done nothing wrong - they have neglected and disrespected their father.

What is disrespect against your father? For a woman it is - sleeping with a man without her fathers blessing. It is the God given right for every father to be sure he is giving his child into good hands. Modern society pisses on that.

A fatherless woman is unable to make right choices when it comes to men. She cannot help but to surrender to a womanazing male against her own better judgement. Nature has given her no tools to protect herself against charms of a player. The only solution for a woman is to hand this choice over to her father or legal guardian. Of course she can have her say too, patriarchy is not monstrous, but she shouldn't go against fathers word!

Modern woman don't want to hear about that - "arranged marriages" - is the boogy word, something that is 1000 times more evil than abortion and in all romance flicks the father is depicted as the evil one who stands between the "true love" of his daughter and the opportunist scoundrel who for some magical and utterly unrealistic reason remains faithful.

The root of feminism, female entitlement etc. starts at the family. If the daughter has respect for her father, the father loves her and is no dooormat and their relationships are like they should be then she will find a good man - a stable provider greater beta who will be faithful or alfa who will still take care for her even if he sleeps with other women occasionally.

If the woman gets pumped and dumped and becomes heartbroken its her own fault most of cases. She should have bothered to revere her father and view him as a human being rather than a mere provider. She should have had make him breaksfast and supper together with mother when he goes to and returns from work and she should have worked around the house to relieve him after hard days work and make his time at home comfortable, not spending all her evenings chatting on phone going co coffee shops and cinemas with other stupid girlfriends and slaving for her highschool/college diploma. Then she would know something about what it means to be a hard working man, she could feel emphaty for men and she would have the character and integrity to hold her virginity until a man who wants a family shows around. She would see and instantly recognize the difference between a sedulous man who wants to build things - home, family and society and a self serving scoundrel who seeks mere fun time and pleasure.

Of course there is nothing wrong with being a self serving scoundrel in a dieing society that wants to self destruct and punishes those who try to salvage it.

[20Nation]

I have recently done this to a Philippina girl. She has sent me about 2 texts a day for 3 weeks confessing her love. I don't reply to her. She still sends them. Long emails. I had to remove her from facebook cause of some of the stuff she would post on my wall.

But she was the first girl I was with here in the Philippines. Before that I was on a month long dry spell. The 8 since then haven't fallen so hard I think. I think when physically you need a woman, you appreciate and act differently around women. Because now that I have been getting sex on the regular I act differently with women. This appreciation of all the time you spend with her leads her to fall for you. That's been my experience anyway. The first girl after a cold streak. Is the one who ends up falling hard.

[Vicious]

My personal policy is to leave them better than you found them. I realize most guys on here are in that stage where they want to get back at women and will stay in that stage indefinitely of their own choice.

I found that my game didn't reach the next level before I could let that bitterness go. That was my old self and it was polluting the new me. In the long run it's far more satisfying being the better person, it was the only way for me to release that anger and replace it with positive energy that ultimately made me feel a lot better about myself, in all areas of my life.

[Matt3B]

(10-19-2012 04:28 AM)Vorkuta Wrote:  

I personally take no pleasure in it at all but it's the inevitable consequence of being in the game. I prefer to act in such a way that they are forced to dump me. Let's the girl think she made the decision and hence lessens the heart break for them.

"If you break a girl's heart or not dumping her, fuck it. I think it's a cumulative result of the entire female population being cold, selfish bitches that I wouldn't give a shit about breaking a girl's heart." Krauser.

That's a pretty bitter outlook in my eyes and not a conclusion I ever hope to reach.

Krauser didn't write that, I did.

You're right though, it is bitter and I'm quite bitter at the moment having been on the opposite end of what we're talking about. It's all part of my development, I imagine it'll subside as I progress.

[The Fantasist]

(10-19-2012 07:14 AM)MattC Wrote:  

(10-19-2012 04:28 AM)Vorkuta Wrote:  

I personally take no pleasure in it at all but it's the inevitable consequence of being in the game. I prefer to act in such a way that they are forced to dump me. Let's the girl think she made the decision and hence lessens the heart break for them.

"If you break a girl's heart or not dumping her, fuck it. I think it's a cumulative result of the entire female population being cold, selfish bitches that I wouldn't give a shit about breaking a girl's heart." Krauser.

That's a pretty bitter outlook in my eyes and not a conclusion I ever hope to reach.

Krauser didn't write that, I did.

You're right though, it is bitter and I'm quite bitter at the moment having been on the opposite end of what we're talking about. It's all part of my development, I
imagine it'll subside as I progress.

Ah,I misunderstood. I thought that was a strange thing for him to say this late on in game.

Yeah it will subside as you get better I guarantee it. We have all had the Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane moment. Use that anger or bitterness to drive you on to improve yourself. You'll look back and laugh about it one day.

[Matt3B]

(10-19-2012 07:32 AM)Vorkuta Wrote:  

(10-19-2012 07:14 AM)MattC Wrote:  

(10-19-2012 04:28 AM)Vorkuta Wrote:  

I personally take no pleasure in it at all but it's the inevitable consequence of being in the game. I prefer to act in such a way that they are forced to dump me. Let's the girl think she made the decision and hence lessens the heart break for them.

"If you break a girl's heart or not dumping her, fuck it. I think it's a cumulative result of the entire female population being cold, selfish bitches that I wouldn't give a shit about breaking a girl's heart." Krauser.

That's a pretty bitter outlook in my eyes and not a conclusion I ever hope to reach.

Krauser didn't write that, I did.

You're right though, it is bitter and I'm quite bitter at the moment having been on the opposite end of what we're talking about. It's all part of my development, I
imagine it'll subside as I progress.

Ah,I misunderstood. I thought that was a strange thing for him to say this late on in game.

Yeah it will subside as you get better I guarantee it. We have all had the Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane moment. Use that anger or bitterness to drive you on to improve yourself. You'll look back and laugh about it one day.

Yep, that's my line of thought at the moment. I think that every red pill guy needs that moment to drive them on to better things and thankfully for me, it's happened very early on since I've learned game.

Girls that have had their hearts broken though, does that work out better or worse for pick up artists? I ask because a girl I got with last year (after weeks of beta trying) told me she had her heart broken three times and she finds it "easier with guys who just want to fuck".

[Samseau]

I don't know if I've broken any hearts. I don't worry about it and I do my best to treat girls with maximum respect while getting maximum sex.

[dk902]

Just accept women for the whimsical, emotional beings they are. Once you accept this then you won't be disappointed because you never had high expectations to be met in the first place.

[tiggaling]

are you really "breaking" their heart or are they just reacting to you from witholding your affections and getting into a hissy? If there wasn't affection from you, can they really have a broken heart?

People create their own suffering a lot of the time and want to blame it on someone else....

The whole ideology of the broken heart is as imprecise as the word "love" itself. the english language is just so lame and insuffucient.

(10-19-2012 03:10 AM)houston Wrote:  

When I started out 8 years ago, I broke quite a few. Girls started getting manlier as the years went by and it happened less and less. Now, I cant remember the last time its happened. Do people still fall in love??

Jesus, is it really going downhill in the U.S. that fast?

[Duke Castile]

(10-19-2012 06:36 AM)Vicious Wrote:  

My personal policy is to leave them better than you found them. I realize most guys on here are in that stage where they want to get back at women and will stay in that stage indefinitely of their own choice.

I found that my game didn't reach the next level before I could let that bitterness go. That was my old self and it was polluting the new me. In the long run it's far more satisfying being the better person, it was the only way for me to release that anger and replace it with positive energy that ultimately made me feel a lot better about myself, in all areas of my life.

I don't think this is possible. The girl surrenders herself to you and then you reject her in the end. She may recover quickly or still want you but, there just seems no way that's a positive thing. Heartiste posted a study about the girls who have slept with men and what rate of divorce they have based on number of sexual partners. The chances for divorce go up exponentially with each sexual partner and 100% at 16 partners. Unless you're buying her a house Clooney style, you just left her being more of a whore than she already was, and that means less of a chance of having a meaningful relationship.

Something happens to a girl when she surrenders herself, she becomes emotionally more damaged (once you leave), and the value she places on herself and her ability to give herself to another man becomes easier.

[WestCoast]

I agree with fisto.

If you have all the boyfriend categories in line. Either very handsome or well of or whatever, she'll start viewing you as dating material and eventually you split.

This gets nastier and nastier with age. That 30 year old story post above is where is gets real bad, as they know it is their last chance so to speak to lock down a quality man.

The real problem with this phenomenon, imho is the "negative stigma" on self improvement for both men and women.

Don't learn game
Don't stay attractive let yourself go
Don't need to get promoted
Etc.

So people who "get it" like many players here. Are constantly getting better, increasing the pool of women they can fuck which leads to more and more heart breaks as we won't settle for them, as they slowly decline after ~25 years of life.

Personally, one was wrecked. Almost got married to her glad I didn't. Dated for multiple years even went to search out a ring.

Irony, backed out because of advice from my mom "are you living the life you want already? If not why would you stop and start a family"

Anyway, overall maybe 3 hearts broken, the one above was the worst though. From ring shopping to choosing a career. It was the right decision.

[Jam Man]

Getting my heart broken the first time totally changed my outlook on life and women. Was definitely the most painful thing that happened to me and turned me from a boy to a man. I still think about that girl every day. Then I broke a girls heart and felt pretty bad about it but I knew I wanted to fuck more, hotter girls and felt good about making that decision for myself. Next girl I bang I get to liking way too much and she breaks my heart. This was the girl that forced me to really make serious changes so if would never happen again. Found a game blog which led me to Roosh's Bang and Day Bang. Finding the online Game community was like starting a new life for me. I now understand how and why I fucked up with women in the past and what I need to do to succeed in the future. Its a great moment, going from rock bottom to realization to self improvement. I wouldnt change a thing.

[Prophylaxis]

(10-19-2012 02:11 PM)Fisto Wrote:  

Something happens to a girl when she surrenders herself, she becomes emotionally more damaged (once you leave), and the value she places on herself and her ability to give herself to another man becomes easier.

Very depressing outlook Fisto!

A lot has to do with how you frame your interactions. I'm incredibly transparent from the start - so girls right away know that I'm not looking for an exclusive relationship, or anything serious. We only live in the moment, and they take the moment for what it's worth.

If you go in under the allusion of anything which is NOT congruent to what you intend (e.g. living in their country, moving in together, marriage), then YES that will make the girl more damaged.

[Vicious]

(10-19-2012 02:11 PM)Fisto Wrote:  

(10-19-2012 06:36 AM)Vicious Wrote:  

My personal policy is to leave them better than you found them. I realize most guys on here are in that stage where they want to get back at women and will stay in that stage indefinitely of their own choice.

I found that my game didn't reach the next level before I could let that bitterness go. That was my old self and it was polluting the new me. In the long run it's far more satisfying being the better person, it was the only way for me to release that anger and replace it with positive energy that ultimately made me feel a lot better about myself, in all areas of my life.

I don't think this is possible. The girl surrenders herself to you and then you reject her in the end. She may recover quickly or still want you but, there just seems no way that's a positive thing. Heartiste posted a study about the girls who have slept with men and what rate of divorce they have based on number of sexual partners. The chances for divorce go up exponentially with each sexual partner and 100% at 16 partners. Unless you're buying her a house Clooney style, you just left her being more of a whore than she already was, and that means less of a chance of having a meaningful relationship.

Something happens to a girl when she surrenders herself, she becomes emotionally more damaged (once you leave), and the value she places on herself and her ability to give herself to another man becomes easier.

To "leave them better than you found them" is not a hard objective. Ultimately she's responsible for her own feelings. The goal of this policy is not to make sure she's fine as you move on but that you have handled it in a classy manner. It's about you knowing that you've been the better man and feeling good about yourself.

I've pointed out in other threads that study you mention is sketchy at best. If you are examining only one gender looking for causes of failure in a union of two then you are, not surprisingly, going to find something at fault with them. The flip side is true for men, the more promiscuous the man, the higher the risk of divorce. Of course that part has been largely glossed over in many parts of the manosphere.

And for the record, while not really related, I don't consider Heartiste/Roissy to be a good source of inspiration any more. Any insights promoted there are being passed through a race theory filter that pollutes their mission.

[redstar]

(10-19-2012 06:36 AM)Vicious Wrote:  

My personal policy is to leave them better than you found them. I realize most guys on here are in that stage where they want to get back at women and will stay in that stage indefinitely of their own choice.

I found that my game didn't reach the next level before I could let that bitterness go. That was my old self and it was polluting the new me. In the long run it's far more satisfying being the better person, it was the only way for me to release that anger and replace it with positive energy that ultimately made me feel a lot better about myself, in all areas of my life.

I like the idea of leaving them better than you found them but what things do you do that enable this?

(10-19-2012 12:49 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

I don't know if I've broken any hearts. I don't worry about it and I do my best to treat girls with maximum respect while getting maximum sex.

Likewise, what do you do that lets you maximise both?

[Duke Castile]

I don't think that Heartiste works off of race, rather more of genes. I've looked into genes quite a bit, and while it's an unpopular notion with sociologists, genes really are the overwhelming force regarding who you become as a person. Nurture isn't really a factor from what I can tell. Pdog posted this link not too long ago and the whole thing is really neat.

That said, I believe women actually have genes that are activated by little chemical events (oxytocin for example, is formed when a woman has sex with a man, this causes her to become attached to him, but when this keeps happening there is a backlash, it becomes EASIER for her to become attached, or give herself away) such as when having sex with a new man.

This of course is happening more than it ever did before from all of this "a woman can do anything a man can do" bullshit. The result being all of these bitter, cat loving, spinsters trying to say they're happy being alone or these divorcee cougars prancing around like they're 24. The versions of these women goes on and on but even if that study is fucked, it exposes a trend that has to have SOME explanation.

Prophylaxis, it doesn't matter what your intent was or how open you were about it. You just made that girl more of a whore, so on a fundamental level she is worse off than she was.

[Duke Castile]

dupe

[Prophylaxis]

(10-19-2012 10:36 PM)Fisto Wrote:  

it doesn't matter what your intent was or how open you were about it. You just made that girl more of a whore, so on a fundamental level she is worse off than she was.

Sleeping with a girl does not make her a whore. Sounds like you have a pretty obvious Madonna/Whore complex.