[soup]

How long does it take you to recover from a rejection and get back into your game? A week? A few days? A few seconds?

[Moma]

(10-10-2012 12:56 AM)soup Wrote:  

How long does it take you to recover from a rejection and get back into your game? A week? A few days? A few seconds?

What type of rejection? A lizard in club saying no? Or a breakup?

[soup]

Ok, so if you just met a girl and she rejects you in a few seconds, that's obviously different than if you've gone on a date, brought the girl back to your house, and she leaves before the bang can happen.

Or maybe it's not for some guys?

[Moma]

(10-10-2012 01:13 AM)soup Wrote:  

Ok, so if you just met a girl and she rejects you in a few seconds, that's obviously different than if you've gone on a date, brought the girl back to your house, and she leaves before the bang can happen.

Or maybe it's not for some guys?

It has happened to me. I tried to bang a Korean back in Toronto but she crapped out before I could get the smash. I just moved on cos Toronto was flake central. I usually have a few in the pipeline so if I get a 'rejection', I work on the new prospect.
I may dwell on her longer if I really fancy her though..but when we say dwell longer, I mean think about her while I am pushing my bell end into a fresh lizard.

[soup]

At what point do you hit the point of "not fucking it up game" / smooth sailing, or is it a constant struggle at ever step of the game?

When I get rejected now, I chalk it up to my bad game and try to learn from the experience. But, I still get stung from rejection, and I think it's because I'm so heavily invested in making the bang happen. So, when it falls apart, I'm trying to understand how I could be still fucking up on things that seem so easy.

[XXL]

if you feel that pain after rejection you need to get more reference experiences that will numb you to bad emotions from rejections/blow outs/etc.

[Prophylaxis]

You answered your own question: you're TOO heavily invested in making the bang happen. Don't take it so seriously. You are giving these girls WAY too much power and letting THEIR actions define you. I think a lot of people (myself included) hype the bang way TOO much. Seriously treat it like a 'sport fuck' to keep you limber, to substitute your cross-fit session for tomorrow. If you miss out on a session, who gives a fuck, there are sessions on ALL the time. Heck, retarded cavemen were even working out.

I've recently come to the realisation that we (men) hold ALL the cards over the period of our lives. It's the women who have to reproduce pronto and find a suitable mate, before their biological clock stops. Stop operating from a scarcity mentality and (genuinely) believe in abundance. There is SO MUCH out there - people who disagree with this - don't put in the effort and approach. Period. This will make you more impartial to rejections and potential missed 'bangs'.

Sure there will be times where you get laid more frequently than others. But the key is to be outcome-independent.

[Neo]

Depends on the situation, but I'm pretty hardened to rejection at this point. If I'm at a bar and get rejected, it takes all but a few seconds to get back on track.

If I've invested some time into a girl, it usually consists of me beating myself up a little for my bad game and analyzing what went wrong. But after a very brief time of analysis I just move on.

The key I've found is not to dwell on it. You have to practice having an incredibly short memory when it comes to dwelling on failures. Sure, analyze, learn and adapt, but once that's done eliminate them from your mind. Otherwise it will fuck up your future game and you'll get into a slump.

[XXL]

to arrive faster to that indifference sweet spot treat the game like a joke. like nothing is serious it's all funny.

the attitude IMO is to enjoy the game for what it is. have fun with it. start playing with it. stop being so serious. whatever happens view it as being amusing. oh chick's not calling you? amusing. girl's inviting you over? amusing. girl's pissed off? amusing. laugh it off. meet other girls. try to pull some girls. reject some girls. game some girls. forget about some girls and text them after few weeks without waiting for responses. fuck with your sensitive side and your own softness. do whatever you can just to step out of scarcity mode. ruin a couple of chances. risk fucking up the set for your own amusement sometimes. just stop being so serious. dating is not serious at all. it's hilarious what you can do and what other guys here do too on regular basis. once you get in that zone and start giving less of a fuck than those girls, paradoxically that's when you will stop having those confidence crushes

after some time you will get more relaxed and comfortable regardless of wide range of girls reactions towards you

good luck

[Hades]

Rejection just kind of messes with your head. I find that it sometimes makes me question what I'm doing. So I guess about ten minutes to a couple of days?
But yeah, definitely making it all a big joke helps a hell of a lot. Nothing is bothersome when there's humor involved.

[Thomas the Rhymer]

The worst rejection I've experienced was in a coffee shop where a chick just suddenly turned from me in mid-conversation and continued to read her book. It was the only time a chick decided she was just going to ignore me. It felt like a kick to the stomach. Took me 2 or 3 days to get over it.

[memcpy]

I used to get bothered by it, but eventually you just get to the point where you shrug it off.

I used to think it was me or my game I was using. But it's always the next chick you talk to that puts all those thoughts away.

I can't tell you how many times a chick has pissed me off, I could have chose to call it a night and sit and stew and think about it. But then I get a text from a girl I just met a few days ago and she is free to hang out then all of a sudden I'm already over the last chick because i'm thinking about how I'm gonna seal the deal with this girl.

It's just a cycle.

[el mechanico]

This is going to be hard for me to explain but I'll try...

First off getting rejected shouldn't bother you at all. There's a million reasons it could happen so the trick is to select good targets and push some buttons and if she isn't biting to leave it open ended. If you're cold approaching running routines you're going to get blown out. If you're rapping with a girl at the deli counter you should be able to tell if she likes you or not in two seconds. I'll talk about food then pause for a few seconds like I was hit by lightning and then ask her what's up. She'll tell me some personal details or ask what's up with you? If I can't put a date together(in my head happening) or see a reason to exchange numbers I let her slide..Temporarily.

Now keep in mind I'm doing all this within a few miles from my house continuously for 18 years so I'm still getting residuals from 5 years ago and I run into these girls every day so I'm pretty much keeping the ball rolling and don't get blown out..

On Friday after work I went to the liquor store. I walk in and Pinnacle Vodka had some cute 20 something girl there asking if I wanted to try a shot. I looked at her and said "Hangover" then went and got my own Vodka and came back and said well not so bad but this shit is better for that and showed her what I like. I continued by telling her I tested all the Vodkas with the German method and I'm careful because I have a little kid being dropped off in the morning. She said she nannies or something and I told her we should meet up at the park blah blah and got the number. If she said no I don't think that would be cool my boyfriend or blah blah it wouldn't phase me. Every girl is not going to want to hang out with me so why is that something to worry about?? It's not me, It's not her. just what it was in that chance we met. No worries..

I meet women at the casino all the time. We play next to each other then I may ask if they want to take a break and grab a drink. About half the time they say not right now or no. Sometimes they want to tag along if my table manners entertain them. Sometimes they drop the husband in the other room playing poker after we've hung out for a half an hour. No biggie just do it again.

[soup]

Well, I get pissed off when I've a chick comes back to my house, I miss something in my game, and she exists. Now it's like 1:30am, and it's too late to meet up with any other new girls.

Maybe I'm a perfectionist, but I see consistent rejections from inside of my house as a huge problem. I try to analyze what happened- I drank too much, I hesitated with kino, I pushed too much physically and didn't pull away before she did, I ignored that her leg was crossed away from me and went for the kiss anyway..

Anyway, I feel like an idiot sometimes. It's like this: imagine you have one chance to cook yourself dinner every night. You spend a couple of hours working on the food and then you accidentally over-cook the meal. Your food is ruined and you have to wait until breakfast to eat. That's what it feels like for me.

I sometimes think that girls are purposefully wasting my time to take any bang out from under my feet that night. They want to get as much free attention as possible from me.

[el mechanico]

(10-10-2012 10:03 AM)soup Wrote:  

Well, I get pissed off when I've get a chick back to my house, I miss something in my game, and she exists. Now it's like 1:30am, and it's too late to meet up with any other new girls.

Maybe I'm a perfectionist, but I see consistent rejections from inside of my house as a huge problem. I try to analyze what happened- I drank too much, I hesitated with kino, I pushed too much physically and didn't pull away before she did, I ignored that her leg was crossed away from me and went for the kiss anyway..

Anyway, I feel like an idiot sometimes. It's like this: imagine you have one chance to cook yourself dinner every night. You spend a couple of hours working on the food and then you accidentally over-cook the meal. Your food is ruined and you have to wait until breakfast to eat. That's what it feels like for me.

I sometimes think that girls are purposefully wasting my time to take any bang out from under my feet that night. They want to get as much free attention as possible from me.

Make a bar at your house. Bar stools and all and mix drinks there where you can escalate the pull into your bedroom shedding clothes on the way in.

[soup]

(10-10-2012 10:08 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(10-10-2012 10:03 AM)soup Wrote:  

Well, I get pissed off when I've get a chick back to my house, I miss something in my game, and she exists. Now it's like 1:30am, and it's too late to meet up with any other new girls.

Maybe I'm a perfectionist, but I see consistent rejections from inside of my house as a huge problem. I try to analyze what happened- I drank too much, I hesitated with kino, I pushed too much physically and didn't pull away before she did, I ignored that her leg was crossed away from me and went for the kiss anyway..

Anyway, I feel like an idiot sometimes. It's like this: imagine you have one chance to cook yourself dinner every night. You spend a couple of hours working on the food and then you accidentally over-cook the meal. Your food is ruined and you have to wait until breakfast to eat. That's what it feels like for me.

I sometimes think that girls are purposefully wasting my time to take any bang out from under my feet that night. They want to get as much free attention as possible from me.

Make a bar at your house. Bar stools and all and mix drinks there where you can escalate the pull into your bedroom shedding clothes on the way in.

I'd like to do this, but I live in railroad apt. and I rent out the middle room, so I only have two rooms, my studio space and my bedroom.

[el mechanico]

(10-10-2012 10:11 AM)soup Wrote:  

(10-10-2012 10:08 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(10-10-2012 10:03 AM)soup Wrote:  

Well, I get pissed off when I've get a chick back to my house, I miss something in my game, and she exists. Now it's like 1:30am, and it's too late to meet up with any other new girls.

Maybe I'm a perfectionist, but I see consistent rejections from inside of my house as a huge problem. I try to analyze what happened- I drank too much, I hesitated with kino, I pushed too much physically and didn't pull away before she did, I ignored that her leg was crossed away from me and went for the kiss anyway..

Anyway, I feel like an idiot sometimes. It's like this: imagine you have one chance to cook yourself dinner every night. You spend a couple of hours working on the food and then you accidentally over-cook the meal. Your food is ruined and you have to wait until breakfast to eat. That's what it feels like for me.

I sometimes think that girls are purposefully wasting my time to take any bang out from under my feet that night. They want to get as much free attention as possible from me.

Make a bar at your house. Bar stools and all and mix drinks there where you can escalate the pull into your bedroom shedding clothes on the way in.

I'd like to do this, but I live in railroad apt. and I rent out the middle room, so I only have two rooms, my studio space and my bedroom.

So you fucked your own logistics for some rent money and you wonder why lays fall apart in your place?

[soup]

(10-10-2012 10:13 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(10-10-2012 10:11 AM)soup Wrote:  

(10-10-2012 10:08 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(10-10-2012 10:03 AM)soup Wrote:  

Well, I get pissed off when I've get a chick back to my house, I miss something in my game, and she exists. Now it's like 1:30am, and it's too late to meet up with any other new girls.

Maybe I'm a perfectionist, but I see consistent rejections from inside of my house as a huge problem. I try to analyze what happened- I drank too much, I hesitated with kino, I pushed too much physically and didn't pull away before she did, I ignored that her leg was crossed away from me and went for the kiss anyway..

Anyway, I feel like an idiot sometimes. It's like this: imagine you have one chance to cook yourself dinner every night. You spend a couple of hours working on the food and then you accidentally over-cook the meal. Your food is ruined and you have to wait until breakfast to eat. That's what it feels like for me.

I sometimes think that girls are purposefully wasting my time to take any bang out from under my feet that night. They want to get as much free attention as possible from me.

Make a bar at your house. Bar stools and all and mix drinks there where you can escalate the pull into your bedroom shedding clothes on the way in.

I'd like to do this, but I live in railroad apt. and I rent out the middle room, so I only have two rooms, my studio space and my bedroom.

So you fucked your own logistics for some rent money and you wonder why lays fall apart in your place?

No, I've had a lot success running first date bang recipe here. I'm talking about trying to keep all this shit in perspective. In general I'm used to getting individual rejections at bars, and in at home too. I just sometimes feel like there's some kind of overall resistance that I'm up against in parts of the game. For example, there are months like August where it's almost a gaurrantee that I'm not banging new girls.

There are gestures and actions that girl might do that, once she's done them, I haven't been able to recover the bang. Specifically, these include: talking about another guy while on a date with me, crossing her legs away from me, and checking her iphone. These are the kiss of death for all my dates.

[el mechanico]

How many dates do you go on a week? How many of your post bang girls do you continue to have sex with? How often?

[Hotwheels]

Hmmmm. If I get them home it's a done deal.

But then I don't spend time gaming them at home, instead generally going caveman once through the door as it's ingrained in my brain that there is only one reason for them to come to my house. Same with hotel rooms.

[el mechanico]

(10-10-2012 10:42 AM)Hotwheels Wrote:  

Hmmmm. If I get them home it's a done deal.

But then I don't spend time gaming them at home, instead generally going caveman once through the door as it's ingrained in my brain that there is only one reason for them to come to my house. Same with hotel rooms.

Same here..I don't even sweat it once in my place..

I think soup is pulling hipster girls to his pad by telling them stuff who may not be DTF

[soup]

(10-10-2012 10:41 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

How many dates do you go on a week? How many of your post bang girls do you continue to have sex with? How often?

I usually keep girls in rotation if I know they can come by at the drop of a dime pretty much. So, unless they live close to me, I don't keep the old ones around so much.

I try to get dates for all the nights of the week that I'm not working. So, at least a couple every week.

[soup]

(10-10-2012 10:45 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(10-10-2012 10:42 AM)Hotwheels Wrote:  

Hmmmm. If I get them home it's a done deal.

But then I don't spend time gaming them at home, instead generally going caveman once through the door as it's ingrained in my brain that there is only one reason for them to come to my house. Same with hotel rooms.

Same here..I don't even sweat it once in my place..

I think soup is pulling hipster girls to his pad by telling them stuff who may not be DTF

Yes! There are a lot of hipster girls, but they are DTF like crazy, I'm just not tapping into the frequency at times. This is what happened last night. I'm pulling these bitches off OKcupid. She even showed up to meet me and had already put away a lot of whiskey.

But, they just don't "fall" for a lot of the tactics that I read about online. I go caveman and they are out.

[el mechanico]

(10-10-2012 10:48 AM)soup Wrote:  

(10-10-2012 10:45 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(10-10-2012 10:42 AM)Hotwheels Wrote:  

Hmmmm. If I get them home it's a done deal.

But then I don't spend time gaming them at home, instead generally going caveman once through the door as it's ingrained in my brain that there is only one reason for them to come to my house. Same with hotel rooms.

Same here..I don't even sweat it once in my place..

I think soup is pulling hipster girls to his pad by telling them stuff who may not be DTF

Yes! There are a lot of hipster girls, but they are DTF like crazy, I'm just not tapping into the frequency at times. This is what happened last night. I'm pulling these bitches off OKcupid. She even showed up to meet me and had already put away a lot of whiskey.

But, they just don't "fall" for a lot of the tactics that I read about online. I go caveman and they are out.

I can only think your timing may be off or maybe something else like talking too fast creating a vibe of some sorts that I would have to see in person to be able to help. Can you think or isolate what you do when shit seems to fall apart?

[soup]

(10-10-2012 11:02 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(10-10-2012 10:48 AM)soup Wrote:  

(10-10-2012 10:45 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(10-10-2012 10:42 AM)Hotwheels Wrote:  

Hmmmm. If I get them home it's a done deal.

But then I don't spend time gaming them at home, instead generally going caveman once through the door as it's ingrained in my brain that there is only one reason for them to come to my house. Same with hotel rooms.

Same here..I don't even sweat it once in my place..

I think soup is pulling hipster girls to his pad by telling them stuff who may not be DTF

Yes! There are a lot of hipster girls, but they are DTF like crazy, I'm just not tapping into the frequency at times. This is what happened last night. I'm pulling these bitches off OKcupid. She even showed up to meet me and had already put away a lot of whiskey.

But, they just don't "fall" for a lot of the tactics that I read about online. I go caveman and they are out.

I can only think your timing may be off or maybe something else like talking too fast creating a vibe of some sorts that I would have to see in person to be able to help. Can you think or isolate what you do when shit seems to fall apart?

I get them back here, show them my paintings, put on music, maybe have a drink. We sit on my couch. Talk for five minutes. And I go in for a kiss, she responds well.

I think the crucial thing is that I'm not pulling away before they do. For some reason, they've been really quick lately. Usually, I can tell if they are about to pull out of the kiss. Now, there are no indicators- they just pull away out of the blue.

That's the beginning of the end usually.