[adrian_D]

I got flaked on this week. Although I had created sufficient attraction to get this girl's phone number, I had not established enough comfort for her to return my call when I finally rang to confirm our planned meet up.

Ok... number deleted as per Roosh's Bang guidelines! Disappointing but that's the way it goes.

However, I'll see her again with friends (at her work place - she's a waitress) next month and am wondering what is the very best alpha attitude to show when I see her. Any suggestions, guys?

[JoeSea]

Act like the whole thing never even took place. Like you never even got her number or attempted to call her. Don't ignore her if she initiates a conversation and don't avoid conversating with her if its obvious she wants to talk. This will blow her away as she will be expecting you to shun her or act upset by deliberately ignoring her. An advanced move would be to sit in her section. But I would only do that if I had the "indifferent" act down about the whole thing.

[BostonBMW]

Just do your thing. If anything SHE is the guilty party, not you.

If she brings it up, just shrug and imply that you had a good night anyway.

[Sketness]

Just act like it never happened.In fact if you can, swoop another girl and bring her to the same restaurant where she works. Females are jealous by nature.

[Quasi]

haha priceless sketness :-) that is actually a good one. You might even introduce her as your friend to the date, if she serves you.

[adrian_D]

Thanks for the ideas, guys, but a follow up question.

Looking at the big picture, what is the goal of this post flake alpha attitude? What is to be achieved by it?

[Quasi]

Dont know, what point it serves..if she allready flaked who cares? My first thought would be to move on and not bother, but since it seems that he is into her enough to bother, he probably have to get his head out of her ass

[adrian_D]

(01-29-2010 05:59 AM)Quasi Wrote:  

Dont know, what point it serves..if she allready flaked who cares? My first thought would be to move on and not bother, but since it seems that he is into her enough to bother, he probably have to get his head out of her ass

I did say that I will see her again because friends of mine know her and therefore I have no choice. I'm not going to not go somewhere with friends just because a girl has flaked on me and I certainly don't have my head up her ass.

[Peoloom]

(01-29-2010 05:32 AM)adrian_D Wrote:  

Looking at the big picture, what is the goal of this post flake alpha attitude? What is to be achieved by it?

ideally you'd genuinely be indifferent because she's just one of 3 billion women on the planet. I guess faking it might re-ignite some interest on her part but I wouldn't hold my breath.

I guess the point is just to control your frame of mind so it doesn't affect your night. If you let yourself get upset over it -- and being upset over something like this isn't unreasonable, it's an annoying thing to happen -- then you're allowing someone else's actions to dictate how you feel. Faking indifference feels a lot like actually being indifferent.

[adrian_D]

Thanks Eric!

In short, I'm running my own training regime; have read a lot including Bang and I want to improve my outer an inner game. Knowing how best to act in certain situations gives me a lot more confidence etc.

[JoeSea]

(01-29-2010 07:20 AM)Eric Wrote:  

(01-29-2010 05:32 AM)adrian_D Wrote:  

Looking at the big picture, what is the goal of this post flake alpha attitude? What is to be achieved by it?

ideally you'd genuinely be indifferent because she's just one of 3 billion women on the planet. I guess faking it might re-ignite some interest on her part but I wouldn't hold my breath.

I guess the point is just to control your frame of mind so it doesn't affect your night. If you let yourself get upset over it -- and being upset over something like this isn't unreasonable, it's an annoying thing to happen -- then you're allowing someone else's actions to dictate how you feel. Faking indifference feels a lot like actually being indifferent.

Bingo!

The number one benefit you'll get out of assuming this attitude is that you show her and yourself that no one person or swoop can affect your behavior. That she was just another drop in the pick up bucket of life. If you pull it off correctly, you'll see that it was really no big deal and will help you tremendously with all future approaches as you won't take them so seriously.

As for the girl in question, she may or may not re-engage you but she will definitely notice you behaving in a way that she didn't expect. I know what you would like is an answer that will allow you to get her interested in you again but whoever came up with the saying that "you never get a second chance to make a first impression" was onto something. Unless... she finds out that she was wrong about the first impression to begin with.

Think about how you would come off if you behaved in the opposite manner. Say for instance you approached her and asked her why she didn't return your call. This would show her that you were spending way too much time thinking about and mulling over that one encounter. Which to me is the text book definition of beta behavior.

[adrian_D]

And thanks to you too, JoeSea...

I think you and Eric have hit the nail on the head. Great input! I do think, though, that it takes a strong inner game to pull this off in the beginning but I think that it's well worth the effort. Cheers...

[JoeSea]

No problem man, cheers to you too! Let us know how it goes for you.