She's a comedienne who's a past-30 has-cats-instead-of-children spinster. From her twitter feed:
I deserve a man who will love me for exactly who I pretend to be.
My boyfriend is SO needy! He's all "I wish I were real!"
The first time sleeping over a guy's place is always awkward 'cause I have to explain who I am, how I got in, & why I'm crying.
When my phone says "searching," I hold it to my heart & whisper "Me too, phone, me too," then burst into tears.
If some slut tries to steal your boyfriend, remember, that's actually her husband, & you're very drunk.
Still haven't found the perfect photo of my cat for my locket. Then again, they're all pretty purrrfect HAHAHAHAHA i'm so alone HAHAHAHAHAHA
Being single isn't so bad because you don't have to share your bed or feelings.
Pretty cute how my ex is trying to get me back by posting photos of him & his wife on their honeymoon.
"Maybe she's born with it. Maybe she's a monster wearing a shit ton of makeup." -Maybelline
I'm hungry, but I also want to get married.
1st date: Puss in Boots 3D. 2nd date: Puss in Boots 3D. 3rd date: Anal.
If I were a guy, I'd text me back.
I'm prettier in person... with the lights off... & you have to be drunk.
I may not be "perfect" or "popular" or "attractive" or "sober" or "married" or "respected."
http://favstar.fm/users/MrsRupertPupkin/most_retweeted
I deserve a man who will love me for exactly who I pretend to be.
My boyfriend is SO needy! He's all "I wish I were real!"
The first time sleeping over a guy's place is always awkward 'cause I have to explain who I am, how I got in, & why I'm crying.
When my phone says "searching," I hold it to my heart & whisper "Me too, phone, me too," then burst into tears.
If some slut tries to steal your boyfriend, remember, that's actually her husband, & you're very drunk.
Still haven't found the perfect photo of my cat for my locket. Then again, they're all pretty purrrfect HAHAHAHAHA i'm so alone HAHAHAHAHAHA
Being single isn't so bad because you don't have to share your bed or feelings.
Pretty cute how my ex is trying to get me back by posting photos of him & his wife on their honeymoon.
"Maybe she's born with it. Maybe she's a monster wearing a shit ton of makeup." -Maybelline
I'm hungry, but I also want to get married.
1st date: Puss in Boots 3D. 2nd date: Puss in Boots 3D. 3rd date: Anal.
If I were a guy, I'd text me back.
I'm prettier in person... with the lights off... & you have to be drunk.
I may not be "perfect" or "popular" or "attractive" or "sober" or "married" or "respected."
http://favstar.fm/users/MrsRupertPupkin/most_retweeted
"Alpha children wear grey. They work much harder than we do, because they're so frightfully clever. I'm awfully glad I'm a Beta, because I don't work so hard. And then we are much better than the Gammas and Deltas. Gammas are stupid. They all wear green, and Delta children wear khaki. Oh no, I don't want to play with Delta children. And Epsilons are still worse. They're too stupid to be able to read or write. Besides they wear black, which is such a beastly color. I'm so glad I'm a Beta."
--Aldous Huxley, Brave New World