[xsplat]

(07-25-2012 10:36 AM)XXL Wrote:  

it's super risky thread you made xsplat cause the only guys who can read it and can see it working pretty well, even if it's not a big part of their style, are true fucking hardcore players with dope game.

you know why? cause real players don't give a fuck about specific personal styles of game and we also know that in our case, being nice is actually good/beneficial cause it makes us more relatable and humanistic. we're like.. "yeah, maybe, you know, girls get so happy when i talk about my feelings and shit, they want me more, it's all good.."

the rest dudes will object like fucking crazy cause your ideas mess with their black and white point of view (you're asshole or you're nice guy, there's no grey area in between, never ever ever blablablabla..)

It's certainly a different take on how to build attraction. It might be that I'm explaining things wrong, and not noticing stages, or it may be that my style mixes up all the stages into a jumble. Or it may be that intimacy itself is a hook that can be used at any stage.

I just re-read your post that you link to in your signature. Sounds like you've found your own style too. For you an emotional connection doesn't lead to the friend zone, but is erotic. You blend together comfort building with assuming the sale. You just know what works, and only later try to explain it.

I made a post recently about my years in sales. My vendor buddies all had very different styles. My sales style for selling to college girls was so oblique as to be similar to elderly game. I never talked up the products, or even mentioned them. I was all about building an emotional connection to the girls - getting them to tell me her stories. And make them laugh. That's what I did, day after day, year after year. That made me money. My buddy had a totally different style - he was about making the sale. He was even better at his job than me, but that never made me want to switch styles. I don't think it would have worked to try.

I don't see myself as a hardcore dope player, but there are times when I really feel in my groove, and I simply know that everything is working. My mojo fills up the room, and me and the girl find our funk together right away. You get your flow moments, and only after the fact can you try to explain them. So this is my attempt to explain how those moments work for me.

[polymath]

(07-25-2012 10:36 AM)XXL Wrote:  

it's super risky thread you made xsplat cause the only guys who can read it and can see it working pretty well, even if it's not a big part of their style, are true fucking hardcore players with dope game.

you know why? cause real players don't give a fuck about specific personal styles of game and we also know that in our case, being nice is actually good/beneficial cause it makes us more relatable and humanistic. we're like.. "yeah, maybe, you know, girls get so happy when i talk about my feelings and shit, they want me more, it's all good.."

the rest dudes will object like fucking crazy cause your ideas mess with their black and white point of view (you're asshole or you're nice guy, there's no grey area in between, never ever ever blablablabla..)

I feel like you have to be genuine to get genuineness back, and this reciprocal exchange is the source of intimacy. Every person carries a different character, and when you show your character unobscured and unrefracted, then other people will see the human part of you and will be more inclined to reveal their own nature as well. Maybe that's kind of what OP is talking about...I'm not really sure.

Also, it's just as stifling to pretend that objections to a dissenting point of view are generally illegitimate, as to say that differing points of view themselves are naturally objectionable.

OP's talk about "sexual heat" and the recommendation to "be power" are kind of bonkers, but for all I know the OP doesn't use English much in his day-to-day life and I can't object to the wording alone. He seems like a cool dude. However, I just don't see how you can have tears of joy from fucking. I personally see sex as a fun thing to do with someone I like, rather than a rapturous and enlightening ascent from the tranquil pools of separateness to the celestial mana of unity between my spirit and that of my lover, even if I also slap her and spit on her face, making her mumble "thank you daddy" while I ram my dick down her throat during our heavenward transit.

I can see how the love-at-first-sight whirlwind might be exciting, and to be honest I met a girl in Asuncion last year who I may actually have fallen for at first sight...no game or seduction involved. But, I like it most when a group of girls spends 20 minutes laughing at my jokes, or when I take a nap and wake up to a few new messages on my phone. I met a gorgeous Asian stripper in Chicago, and a couple weekends ago I woke up to an email she sent at 5:00am after she got off work, asking how I'm doing and shit like that. Affection, without romance, from beautiful women. This is what I seek, not a violin-pussy.

[hypesession]

DOn't agree with "Fuck being aloof." Anything you pull out of your toolbox to get the job done properly is fine.

Also don't get the crying bit. To each his own if one wants to be that guy.

[xsplat]

(07-25-2012 11:44 AM)hypesession Wrote:  

DOn't agree with "Fuck being aloof." Anything you pull out of your toolbox to get the job done properly is fine.

Also don't get the crying bit. To each his own if one wants to be that guy.

You caught me. The "fuck being aloof" was attention getting polemic.

Ya, I set myself up for an easy dig. But come on. Is crying really what you took away from that?

It seems I really have to list out each possible nuance of emotions that are possible in sex in order to not have my meaning fall into a black hole of black and white either or simple minded binary code.

I'm talking about feeling strong emotions - whether it be screamingly intense sex, gentle sex, romantic sex, violent sex, kinky sex. I'm talking about making a personal intimate connection to the girl through these emotions.

Is feeling close to the girl you're fucking really that alien an experience to you?

[hypesession]

(07-25-2012 11:49 AM)xsplat Wrote:  

(07-25-2012 11:44 AM)hypesession Wrote:  

DOn't agree with "Fuck being aloof." Anything you pull out of your toolbox to get the job done properly is fine.

Also don't get the crying bit. To each his own if one wants to be that guy.

Ya, I set myself up for an easy dig. But come on. Is crying really what you took away from that?

I must say it was a big part of what i took away from that. Its ok though, i'm not knocking you.

Polemic. Exactly. It's cool to be a passionate, passionate man **adam carolla voice** I just don't like knocking other stuff like being aloof has been established as an essential part of game. Anyways carry on.

[xsplat]

(07-25-2012 11:43 AM)polymath Wrote:  

I can see how the love-at-first-sight whirlwind might be exciting,

Can you see how it could be exciting to the girl? A hook?

[xsplat]

(07-25-2012 11:55 AM)hypesession Wrote:  

(07-25-2012 11:49 AM)xsplat Wrote:  

(07-25-2012 11:44 AM)hypesession Wrote:  

DOn't agree with "Fuck being aloof." Anything you pull out of your toolbox to get the job done properly is fine.

Also don't get the crying bit. To each his own if one wants to be that guy.

Ya, I set myself up for an easy dig. But come on. Is crying really what you took away from that?

I must say it was a big part of what i took away from that. Its ok though, i'm not knocking you

I'd rather be knocked and understood that lauded and misunderstood.

I knew it was risky to mention that particular emotion - it must be very distracting. I hope I've cleared up what my point in that example was.

[xsplat]

Hypesession, your feedback led me to re-write that paragraph.

2) Be sensitive. Yes, men are sensitive. Men are lovers. Being sensitive means you meld into her when you play with her pussy. You can play that pussy like miniature violin. When you are inside her you are sensitive to every little contraction, to her voice, to her breathing. You meld with her and play the tempo like a master musician. As well as physical and energetic sensitivity, a man can connect emotionally to the girl. Many people talk as if feeling close to the girl they are fucking is an alien experience. I'm talking about feeling strong emotions - whether it be screamingly intense sex, gentle sex, romantic sex, violent sex, kinky sex. I'm talking about making a personal intimate connection to the girl through these emotions.

[XXL]

i don't know what's the big deal with it. the thread is just expression of one person point of view, more or less accurate. i'm not a fan of every thing in the original post but i understand overall xsplat's approach.

in the end, there are different styles that fit different guys. i've seen some impossible pickups before, those who can't accept that OP's game can 'work' simply have limited game experience.

[Duke Castile]

I like it. Honestly, I love being with women and really getting in there. Looking at them become yours. Fucking a girl in a way that makes her want to give herself to you completely. I'm suspecting that most of the guys that are against this type of bonding experience are not nailing a woman they"re inspired to do this with (your 5 - 7 range, which I totally get)

Great post.

[polymath]

(07-25-2012 11:59 AM)xsplat Wrote:  

(07-25-2012 11:43 AM)polymath Wrote:  

I can see how the love-at-first-sight whirlwind might be exciting,

Can you see how it could be exciting to the girl? A hook?

Absolutely, it can be exciting for both.

How do you come across to the girl as a man who actually has that feeling, rather than someone who is spinning a love game just to have sex? And how do you keep from seeming overly sentimental in the process?

[xsplat]

(07-25-2012 01:28 PM)polymath Wrote:  

(07-25-2012 11:59 AM)xsplat Wrote:  

(07-25-2012 11:43 AM)polymath Wrote:  

I can see how the love-at-first-sight whirlwind might be exciting,

Can you see how it could be exciting to the girl? A hook?

Absolutely, it can be exciting for both.

How do you come across to the girl as a man who actually has that feeling, rather than someone who is spinning a love game just to have sex? And how do you keep from seeming overly sentimental in the process?

I'm careful to only seduce women that I'm into, so any feelings that I convey are genuine. The congruence is natural.

You know how you listen to music that you are into, to really enjoy it you have to give yourself over to it somewhat? And yet that doesn't mean losing all control, or being too sappy. How about looking at a sunset? We often allow ourselves the pleasure of sentimentality, but that doesn't require being overwhelmed by emotions. We can ride and direct these feelings.

I'm careful to not lose my ability to bond, and careful with my sexual habits. But I'm no virgin, and so am able to maintain enough distance to have more hand than the girl does. It's surfing a fine line, but a line I'm very familiar with.

Not appearing too sentimental is just second nature by now, as it would be for any man familiar with women. My point of this post is how to appear, and actually be, sentimental enough. Something rarely discussed in our circles.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

This is nice, but isn't it a bit superflous? After all, it details the stuff that you do during sex, whereas the main problem of most men is getting to sex, not performing it.

[Aliblahba]

(07-25-2012 02:47 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

This is nice, but isn't it a bit superflous? After all, it details the stuff that you do during sex, whereas the main problem of most men is getting to sex, not performing it.

No, there's a way to escalate to explosive sex. It's like building a pyramid. Like venue selection, body contact, push/pull, denying a kiss, flaking, ect. It kinda ties in with slow burn game with me.

I don't like inhibited sex the first night. It's limited. I want it all the first round.

[Neo]

This method works on normal, hopeful women who aren't jaded. Unfortunately that eliminates almost every American woman.

Many years ago this was similar my default game. I'd find a nice girl I was into and the connection formed was natural and would last. There wouldn't be any bullshit at all. Unfortunately, things have spiraled downwards for the worse.

[xsplat]

(07-25-2012 05:06 PM)Neo Wrote:  

This method works on normal, hopeful women who aren't jaded. Unfortunately that eliminates almost every American woman.

Many years ago this was similar my default game. I'd find a nice girl I was into and the connection formed was natural and would last. There wouldn't be any bullshit at all. Unfortunately, things have spiraled downwards for the worse.

I've used a variation of this game on extremely jaded girls. Then I call it the "beta bait and switch" game.

You lure the girl in by appearing as a total beta sap. Then slowly she falls for you for real, and slowly you let it be revealed that you are more of a player than her. A spider who catches the bird in his web. She's the bird who thought she was going to eat the spider, but you turned the tables and caught her instead.

In SEA many girls are total players. They fall as hard as any. Can be harder. They don't know what hit em, and will look up at you in wonderment and say things like "Daddy, why I love you Daddy? You no rich, you no handsome. Why I love you?"

They get genuinely puzzled about it.

Maybe nobodies ever thought about it before. Our usual conception is of EITHER a beta or hardened player. I'm talking about fine emotional control such that the man can ride waves of emotion, however the part of your personality that was the beta sap has been replaced with the dominant skilled player. You've been with scores of women, and know them inside and out, and are naturally and effortlessly dominant over them. You not only don't take shit, but take a paternal and erotic stance with them, and expect them to do your bidding.

The real hard core player girls are expecting you to be easy to manipulate, and coming off as a bit emotionally naive at first is like laying out bait. She thinks she'll have another man to wrap around her finger, but winds up wrapped around yours.

It's a tenet of game that giving the girl the emotional roller coaster treatment hooks her. I'm saying that the ride can include real intimacy as it's greatest thrill.

[MrXY]

I like the OPs elucidation of his ideas here but i just don't see how it would work on American girls

In the US, if you want a variety of good quality pussy on a regular basis, you better be a motherfucker

[Thatdude]

I understand where you're coming from but I don't know if I'd go so far as to say fuck being aloof though. But hey if it works for you then good shit.

[hypesession]

(07-25-2012 08:33 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

I like the OPs elucidation of his ideas here but i just don't see how it would work on American girls

In the US, if you want a variety of good quality pussy on a regular basis, you better be a motherfucker

True as hell.
That what he's talking about takes energy. Maybe if you're trying to seduce the duchess of <del>wales</del>monaco or something. american girls arent even worth all that...

[xsplat]

(07-26-2012 02:10 AM)hypesession Wrote:  

(07-25-2012 08:33 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

I like the OPs elucidation of his ideas here but i just don't see how it would work on American girls

In the US, if you want a variety of good quality pussy on a regular basis, you better be a motherfucker

True as hell.
That what he's talking about takes energy. Maybe if you're trying to seduce the duchess of <del>wales</del>monaco or something. american girls arent even worth all that...

If that's really the way that you feel about it, then why are you still in the US? Is that a satisfactory life for you?

And to the guys who pointed that it was rash to say "fuck aloofness", ya. I think using aloofness is signalling status; we aren't hunting her, if she wants us she has to hunt us.

It's important to never signal neediness, and aloofness makes that easy, however there is a dial you can play with. Fuck keeping the dial on maximum aloof setting all the time. You can do well on various other settings. The point of aloofness is to show status, right? And we know that prince charming and other celebrity rock stars need no show of aloofness.

So when the girl is into you, you play around with push pull, but you don't have to hold on to that one little principle as the core foundational habit of your game. You can also push her various other attraction triggers, including all the so called beta-provider ones.

Its easy to think in either or terms of sexual strategies, and to make the mistake of thinking choose either beta-provider buttons or hard core rogue buttons. Play the black AND the white piano keys.

That is, if you want to enjoy all the benefits of having a devoted love slave.

[xsplat]

It just occurred to me; is it that a fast intimacy with girls in the US won't work, or that guys in the US don't respect or like the girls there enough to even want any sort of intimacy?

[xsplat]

Another thought; I think I see what's going on with the objections here.

Women like to be treated like shit. Being intimate for most guys probably carries with it connotations of pedestalizing the girl, which is unattractive.

Here is the image: she is your little bitch cunt whore private personal slut. That's intimate.

[DarkTriad]

(07-25-2012 07:36 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

The weed must be real good where you're at huh?

Explats been around a while, and is a deep thinker. I always read his stuff twice. That being said, he was smart enough to relocate to Southeast Asia a long time ago, and missed out on the worst of the Fempocalypse. I can totally see this working well in his chosen environment, but it's a tough market for that stuff in the US.

[snoop]

(07-25-2012 11:55 AM)hypesession Wrote:  

(07-25-2012 11:49 AM)xsplat Wrote:  

(07-25-2012 11:44 AM)hypesession Wrote:  

DOn't agree with "Fuck being aloof." Anything you pull out of your toolbox to get the job done properly is fine.

Also don't get the crying bit. To each his own if one wants to be that guy.

Ya, I set myself up for an easy dig. But come on. Is crying really what you took away from that?

I must say it was a big part of what i took away from that. Its ok though, i'm not knocking you.

Polemic. Exactly. It's cool to be a passionate, passionate man **adam carolla voice** I just don't like knocking other stuff like being aloof has been established as an essential part of game. Anyways carry on.

Don't you think there is a difference in coming across as naturally aloof and coming across as trying to be aloof though?

I think that is more the point, be genuine in some way, what that way is doesn't really matter much at all.

[Nomad77]

This kind of game requires building chemistry with the girl. My problem is that I just don't find that many girls this attractive or have this kind of chemistry with them - maybe a couple in a year. But ye, when it's on, it's the real deal.