Quote: (07-10-2012 05:15 PM)velkrum Wrote:
Quote:Nomad77 Wrote:
- But for many men it's not really about sex, it's about validating themselves.
- It's a way of saying look guys I am an "alpha male" because I am banging a new girl every week. Rich men here in Brazil buy movie and TV stars for the same reason.
I take serious issue with this line of thinking.
- Who would really care ??
- Wouldn't it get old telling people over and over again how many women you bed ??
- That kind of behavior harbors jealousy.
The concept seems feminine to me.
If this is accurate, I am truly different than most men. I take no pleasure in bragging about how many girls I've had sex with.
I keep my love life private and I like it that way.
If what you say is true, that would be an indication of men becoming low self esteem, attention whores. It would also indicate that most men have a psychological disorder and it absolves women of many issues we on this forum complain about. They are mirroring the psychosis of, "most guys."
I agree with you, I can't stand people that needlessly brag about stuff whether it be how much money they make, women they fuck, or weight they can lift. To me people that do this are just masking their insecurities, they have a need to feed and pump up their ego, as a way of dealing with their deep-seeded issues.
Two guys I'm pretty good friends with that I hang out with frequently, brag so much, it really gets old. One of them is a clear case of a guy who is truly insecure, lacks self-esteem, and confidence, but tries to over-compensate by being boisterous, passive aggressive, and always trying to "one up" everyone else.
My other buddy reminds me of Deb from this forum, tall, naturally athletic build, handsome (with "male model" looks), and kills it with the women. He's a chill guy, cool, smart, and funny, so he's got stuff going for him, but I can't really say he has good game.
He brags and boasts like a motherfuck about all the women he bangs or that want to fuck him, which kind of irks me, because he can't be humble and understand he got lucky, and it's not exactly a cakewalk for everyone else. He likes to talk shit and kind of clown on everyone else, and compare the women he pulls to his friends.
I'm a big proponent of killing the ego. Not to confuse the ego with your self-identity or self worth, a person should always be their authentic self, but drop the need for validation, approval, the need to feel better than everyone and be admired by everyone.
The coolest people and some of the most successful people are often the most humble. A person who has everything going for them, but refrains from bragging and rubbing it in others faces', is often the one who is most secure with himself.
He has no need to tell everyone how great he is, because he just is, he knows it, and everyone else does too. People that are humble earn an extra level of respect, when they treat their peers as equals, even when it might not always be the case.
Anyways, rant aside, yes, validation plays a big role for a lot of guys who get into the "PUA thing and game". A lot of times they have issues from the past, mostly rejection or lack of success with women, and that drives their need to fuck a lot of women or the hottest women, to prove something to themselves and everyone else, or to seek validation for the void that previously existed.
I went through this to an extent, I used to be a total fuck up with women, I basically was like one of those "men going their own way" guys, who said fuck em' they're all a bunch of bitches, I'm just going to make money and smoke weed. This made me introverted, nervous around women, anxious, etc.
My game both outer and inner was abysmal, ofcouse at the time I had no idea that "game" as a "seduction science" or whatever you want to call it, even existed. It was obvious though that some guys were good with women and others weren't. To make a long story short as I went through my early twenties mostly not getting laid, it got to a point where almost all my friends had GFs or were getting laid and I wasn't. A lot of them clowned me and I was the butt of many jokes.
Once I reached my breaking point and had a mini-existential crisis, I discovered game and delved into it pretty deeply for the first year after finding BANG. A year later, my game was much farther ahead of a lot of those friends who used to clown me, I was notching my belt more often then some of them, and pulling way hotter women. This fed my ego, and I was really reveling in the validation, I was receiving, the feeling that I was "one upping" all these guys.
I ended up with a girl who was way hotter than any of my friends' girlfriends, and definitely in the top 10% for he town I live in. Having a hot girlfriend was a huge ego boost, but all that glitters isn't gold, she turned out to be a massive psycho bitch who fucked me over, part of why I put up with her for so long was the ego bump I got from her looks, but also because my inner game got weakened by her fucked up poisonous female mind games, and I came to think she was the best I could ever do.
I think another aspect of people successful with women and anything, is the ability to adapt, learn from your mistakes, grow, evolve, and always strive to better yourself, from what I understand Roosh is at the pinnacle of game, and it took years of struggle and learning to reach that point.