[BortimusPrime]

I want to get an idea of whether or not what I'm experiencing is par for the course, so I'd like to get some input from the online dating gamers.

I've noticed that a good 10-20% of the girls that respond to my messages on okc seem to be just looking to pick a fight. Now admittedly, I try to open with a joke of some kind, and I'll occasionally inadvertently hit a sore spot and get bitched out, but even beyond that a significant number of girls seem to be actively seeking out an argument or get nasty immediately and kill any hope of developing a fun vibe.

The last one I experienced seemed to suggest that the girl actually took the effort of combing my match questions until she found a trivial disagreement, and then proceeded to bitch me out. (Here's the question: Do you think women should shave their legs? Deep stuff, I know.) Figure if she wasn't interested she wouldn't have bothered to look, if she were interested she wouldn't start a fight. I mean, this kind of thing might lead one to think that women may not behave in an entirely rational manner!

[Timoteo]

I've found a little of this too online. Women are more likely to respond to something they perceive as negative than they are to a compliment. They always seem to be looking for an argument, or to "set you straight." Another thing I've always noticed is that people in general really don't read thoroughly. They fail to pick up context, or focus solely on a word or sentence within a larger paragraph and go on a tangent. It's unfortunate that you can't actually be interesting online, but sometimes it's better to play things close to the vest until you can actually talk to or meet someone in person, because it's easy for things to get lost when you're writing messages or filling out a profile.

[WesternCancer]

I think its heartiste/roissy that said this but "gina tingles are born in the defensive crouch" I've found many online girls default to bitch-mode because they don't know how to flirt and are stunted socially. Just try to playfully parry their attacks and maintain your 'frame'

[Tuthmosis]

This is typical Internet Courage, but a girl variety: cut with a little today's-women-entitlement-complex and traditional shit-testing. Proceed accordingly.

[Screwston]

(07-03-2012 12:25 AM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

This is typical Internet Courage

Exactly what I was going to say. I've been all kinds of racist things and shit no girl would EVER say to my face because they feel safe behind a computer screen. Internet dating is lame.

[j r]

(07-03-2012 12:56 AM)houston Wrote:  

(07-03-2012 12:25 AM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

This is typical Internet Courage

Exactly what I was going to say. I've been all kinds of racist things and shit no girl would EVER say to my face because they feel safe behind a computer screen. Internet dating is lame.

What sort of things have you gotten?

In a place like DC, there are girls who are only looking for white guys, but would never come out and say it. There's a lot of woman who go out of their way to talk about how they're only looking for tolerant, non-bigoted people, but it's mostly just a signal meant to attract the "right kind of white guy."

The black women in DC, on the other hand, have absolutely no problem expressing exactly what they want. And it's often pretty damn delusional.

[Surreyman]

Haha, I usually laugh it off.

I made a comment about a girl who said she had a dog, some joke about her not having a cat, not being a cat lady etc. Bitch sends back a long message about how I must be a bigot or something. I replied with another joke, no response.

Never rise to it. Never lose your cool. That's what men have, the ability to let it roll over us, and it frustrates the hell out of women.

Also, Tuth = truth. These girls would NEVER say any of this shit to your face.

[BortimusPrime]

Ah, I hadn't considered internet courage. Figure that's going to magnify what would normally be an easily passed shit test to a screeching harpy. Like the leg hair debate I got in might have been playful in person...via okcupid messaging it just sounded snotty as hell. In fact she backpedaled a bit, but by that point the vibe was dead for me.

[Juan Antonio]

Funny thing about girls is they always assume the worst. They never give you the benefit of the doubt.

Why is this?

[Zep]

Quote:

I want to get an idea of whether or not what I'm experiencing is par for the course

Yes, I think it is. I've experienced what you have also.

[Screwston]

(07-03-2012 07:59 AM)j r Wrote:  

(07-03-2012 12:56 AM)houston Wrote:  

(07-03-2012 12:25 AM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

This is typical Internet Courage

Exactly what I was going to say. I've been all kinds of racist things and shit no girl would EVER say to my face because they feel safe behind a computer screen. Internet dating is lame.

What sort of things have you gotten?

In a place like DC, there are girls who are only looking for white guys, but would never come out and say it. There's a lot of woman who go out of their way to talk about how they're only looking for tolerant, non-bigoted people, but it's mostly just a signal meant to attract the "right kind of white guy."

The black women in DC, on the other hand, have absolutely no problem expressing exactly what they want. And it's often pretty damn delusional.

Player, I'm not in some PC lame ass city like DC which I like. I'd rather have people say shit to my face (at least online) than try to hide their feelings. Just everything you can think of towards Hispanics pretty much.

[Locke]

The internet lets people get away with saying a lot of dumb things. Why else do you see so many racist comments online, but very few in real life?

[Samseau]

I don't know about you guys, but what I've seen online isn't worse than what I see girls in clubs do


I think this is an American girl thing

[bigbait]

I think the takeway here is that teasing is hard even in person. With just messaging it's much harder. It's hard for you, and it's even harder for her since she has no idea what she's doing.

[Samseau]

(07-03-2012 10:57 PM)bigbait Wrote:  

I think the takeway here is that teasing is hard even in person. With just messaging it's much harder. It's hard for you, and it's even harder for her since she has no idea what she's doing.

It also doesn't help that the average girl is pretty fucking dumb. Anything beyond 8th grade level of written humor will fly over her head