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Sort out your emotions
#1

Sort out your emotions

From the Guardian (English newspaper) today. Interesting stuff, dominant poses increase your testosterone:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2012/j...e-thinking

"For years self-help gurus have preached the same simple mantra: if you want to improve your life then you need to change how you think. Force yourself to have positive thoughts and you will become happier. Visualise your dream self and you will enjoy increased success. Think like a millionaire and you will magically grow rich. In principle, this idea sounds perfectly reasonable. However, in practice it often proves ineffective.

Take visualisation. Hundreds of self-improvement books encourage readers to close their eyes and imagine their perfect selves; to see themselves in a huge office at the top of the corporate ladder, or sipping a cocktail as they feel the warm Caribbean sand between their toes. Unfortunately, research suggests this technique does not work.

In one study led by Lien Pham at the University of California, students were asked to spend a few moments each day visualising themselves getting a high grade in an upcoming exam. Even though the daydreaming exercise only lasted a few minutes, it caused the students to study less and obtain lower marks. In another experiment led by Gabriele Oettingen from New York University, graduates were asked to note down how often they fantasised about getting their dream job after leaving college. The students who reported that they frequently fantasised about such success received fewer job offers and ended up with significantly smaller salaries.

Why should this be so? Maybe those who fantasise about a wonderful life are ill-prepared for setbacks, or become reluctant to put in the effort required to achieve their goal. Either way, the message is clear – imagining the perfect you is not good for your life.

However, when it comes to change, the message is not all gloom and doom. Decades of research show that there is indeed a simple but highly effective way to transform how you think and feel. The technique turns common sense on its head but is grounded in science. Strangely, the story begins with a world-renowned Victorian thinker and an imaginary bear.

Working at Harvard University in the late 19th century, William James, brother of the novelist Henry James, was attracted to the unconventional, often walking around campus sporting a silk hat and red-checked trousers, and describing his theories using amusing prose ("As long as one poor cockroach feels the pangs of unrequited love, this world is not a moral world"). This unconventional approach paid off. First published in 1890, James's two-volume magnum opus The Principles of Psychology is still required reading for students of behavioural science.

Towards the end of the 1880s, James turned his attention to the relationship between emotion and behaviour. Our everyday experience tells us that your emotions cause you to behave in certain ways. Feeling happy makes you smile, and feeling sad makes you frown. Case closed, mystery solved. However, James became convinced that this commonsense view was incomplete and proposed a radical new theory.

James hypothesised that the relationship between emotion and behaviour was a two-way street, and that behaviour can cause emotion. According to James, smiling can make you feel happy and frowning can make you feel sad. Or, to use James's favourite way of putting it: "You do not run from a bear because you are afraid of it, but rather become afraid of the bear because you run from it."

James's theory was quickly relegated to the filing drawer marked "years ahead of its time", and there it lay for more than six decades.

Throughout that time many self-help gurus promoted ideas that were in line with people's everyday experiences about the human mind. Common sense tells us that emotions come before behaviour, and so decades of self-help books told readers to focus on trying to change the way they thought rather than the way they behaved. James's theory simply didn't get a look-in.

However in the 70s psychologist James Laird from Clark University decided to put James's theory to the test. Volunteers were invited into the laboratory and asked to adopt certain facial expressions. To create an angry expression participants were asked to draw down their eyebrows and clench their teeth. For the happy expression they were asked to draw back the corners of the mouth. The results were remarkable. Exactly as predicted by James years before, the participants felt significantly happier when they forced their faces into smiles, and much angrier when they were clenching their teeth.

Subsequent research has shown that the same effect applies to almost all aspects of our everyday lives. By acting as if you are a certain type of person, you become that person – what I call the "As If" principle.

Take, for example, willpower. Motivated people tense their muscles as they get ready to spring into action. But can you boost your willpower by simply tensing your muscles? Studies led by Iris Hung from the National University of Singapore had volunteers visit a local cafeteria and asked them to try to avoid temptation and not buy sugary snacks. Some of the volunteers were asked to make their hand into a fist or contract their biceps, and thus behave as if they were more motivated. Amazingly, this simple exercise made people far more likely to buy healthy food.

The same applies to confidence. Most books on increasing confidence encourage readers to focus on instances in their life when they have done well or ask them to visualise themselves being more assertive. In contrast, the As If principle suggests that it would be much more effective to simply ask people to change their behaviour.

Dana Carney, an assistant professor at Columbia Business School, led a study where she split volunteers into two groups. The people in one group were placed into power poses. Some were seated at desks, asked to put their feet up on the table, look up, and interlock their hands behind the back of their heads. In contrast, those in the other group were asked to adopt poses that weren't associated with dominance. Some of these participants were asked to place their feet on the floor, with hands in their laps and look at the ground. Just one minute of dominant posing provided a real boost in confidence.

The researchers then turned their attention to the chemicals coursing through the volunteers' veins. Those power posing had significantly higher levels of testosterone, proving that the poses had changed the chemical make-up of their bodies.

The As If principle can even make you feel younger. Harvard psychology professor Ellen Langer has conducted many high-profile experiments; one of her most striking involved using the As If principle to turn back the hands of time.

In 1979 Langer recruited a group of men in their 70s for a "week of reminiscence" at a retreat outside Boston. Before the study started, Langer tested the men's strength, posture, eyesight and memory.

She then encouraged the men to act as if they were 20 years younger. When they arrived at the retreat, for instance, there was no one there to help them off the bus and they had to carry their suitcases inside. In addition, the retreat had not been not equipped with the type of rails and other movement aids they had at home. After unpacking, everyone was assembled in the main room of the retreat. Surrounded by various objects from the 50s, including a black-and-white television and a vintage radio, Langer informed the participants that for the next few days all of their conversations about the past had to be in the present tense, and that no conversation must mention anything that happened after 1959.

Within days, Langer could see the dramatic effect of behaving As If. The participants were now walking faster and were more confident. Within a week several of the participants had decided that they could now manage without their walking sticks. Langer took various psychological and physiological measurements throughout the experiment and discovered that the group now showed improvements in dexterity, speed of movement, memory, blood pressure, eyesight and hearing. Acting as if they were young men had knocked years off their bodies and minds.

More than a century ago William James proposed a radically different approach to change. Decades of research has shown that his theory applies to almost every aspect of everyday life, and can be used to help people feel happier, avoid anxiety and worry, fall in love and live happily ever after, stay slim, increase their willpower and confidence, and even slow the effects of ageing.

So sit up straight and take a deep breath. It is time to rip up the rule book and embrace the truth about change.



How to change
Action speaks loudest

Here are 10 quick and effective exercises that use the As If principle to transform how you think and behave.


HAPPINESS: Smile


This is the granddaddy of them all. As Laird's study demonstrated, smile and you will feel happier. To get the most out of this exercise, make the smile as wide as possible, extend your eyebrow muscles slightly upward, and hold the resulting expression for about 20 seconds.


WILLPOWER: Tense up


As Hung's experiments show, tensing your muscles boosts your willpower. Next time you feel the need to avoid that cigarette or cream cake, make a fist, contract your biceps, press your thumb and first finger together, or grip a pen in your hand.


DIETING: Use your non-dominant hand


When you eat with your non-dominant hand you are acting as if you are carrying out an unusual behaviour. Because of that you place more attention on your action, do not simply consume food without thinking about it, and so eat less.


PROCRASTINATION: Make a start


To overcome procrastination, act as if you are interested in what it is that you have to do. Spend just a few minutes carrying out the first part of whatever it is you are avoiding, and suddenly you will feel a strong need to complete the task.


PERSISTENCE: Sit up straight and cross your arms


Ron Friedman from the University of Rochester led a study where volunteers were presented with tricky problems to see how long they persevered. Those who sat up straight and folded their arms struggled on for nearly twice as long as others. Make sure your computer monitor is slightly above your eye-line and, when the going gets tough, cross your arms.


CONFIDENCE: Power pose


To increase your self-esteem and confidence, adopt a power pose. If you are sitting down, lean back, look up and interlock your hands behind your head. If you are standing up, then place your feet flat on the floor, push your shoulders back and your chest forward.


NEGOTIATION: Use soft chairs


Hard furniture is associated with hard behaviour. In one study Joshua Ackerman at the MIT Sloan School of Management had participants sit on either soft or hard chairs and then negotiate over the price of a used car. Those in the hard chairs offered less and were more inflexible.


GUILT: Wash away your sins


If you are feeling guilty about something, try washing your hands or taking a shower. Chen-Bo Zhong from the University of Toronto discovered that people who carried out an immoral act and then cleaned their hands with an antiseptic wipe felt significantly less guilty than others.


PERSUASION: Nod


If people nod while they listen to a discussion they are more likely to agree with the points being made. When you want to encourage someone to agree with you, subtly nod your head as you chat with them. Research led by Gary Wells of Iowa State University shows that they will reciprocate the movement and find themselves strangely attracted to your way of thinking.


LOVE: Open up


Couples in love talk about the more intimate aspects of their lives. Research carried out by Robert Epstein, founder of the Cambridge Centre for Behavioural Studies, shows that the opposite is also true – more intimate chat makes people feel attracted to each other. If you are out on a date, get the other person to open up by asking what advice they would give to their 10-year-old self, or what one object they would save in a house fire."
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#2

Sort out your emotions

Damn. Thanks for this. The willpower one is very interesting.

It's true that little habits can really start to add up. It's really a simple, practical way to "fake it till you make it." It's why so many players advocate brushing up on body language and emulating the subtle status cues of high-value people.

Anecdotally, I've found that sitting with wide legs, shoulders back, chest out and chin up really gives me a boost when negotiating or just getting things done in general. I'm working on internalizing this so it's completely natural and constant correction is unneeded.

Also, the bit about visualization is interesting because it vindicates what Roosh has been saying (don't visualize success, visualize failure) because if you visualize the absolute worst that can happen, a minor setback is trivial in comparison. Fear of failure is a great motivator.
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#3

Sort out your emotions

Extremely interesting theories and observations

Quote:Quote:

Subsequent research has shown that the same effect applies to almost all aspects of our everyday lives. By acting as if you are a certain type of person, you become that person – what I call the "As If" principle.

Paging G...

Contributor at Return of Kings.  I got banned from twatter, which is run by little bitches and weaklings. You can follow me on Gab.

Be sure to check out the easiest mining program around, FreedomXMR.
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#4

Sort out your emotions

Not entirely sure about the 'act as if...then' idea.

I've known too many guys who 'acted' and all it got them was creepy weirdo vibes.
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#5

Sort out your emotions

its not about acting, but rather taking actions to provoke a corresponding emotional reaction

Brought to you by Carl's Jr.
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#6

Sort out your emotions

Yeah, I was using the word 'act' in a different sense. Hence the ''.
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#7

Sort out your emotions

Quote: (07-01-2012 11:53 AM)Kitsune Wrote:  

Not entirely sure about the 'act as if...then' idea.

Someone who has never been in any type of sales environment.

Am I right or am I right?
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#8

Sort out your emotions

Quote: (07-01-2012 12:41 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

Quote: (07-01-2012 11:53 AM)Kitsune Wrote:  

Not entirely sure about the 'act as if...then' idea.

Someone who has never been in any type of sales environment.

Am I right or am I right?

No. [Image: huh.gif]
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#9

Sort out your emotions

Quote: (07-01-2012 12:41 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

Quote: (07-01-2012 11:53 AM)Kitsune Wrote:  

Not entirely sure about the 'act as if...then' idea.

Someone who has never been in any type of sales environment.

Am I right or am I right?

Spot on right. If you can't sell... How smart are you? As I've told my peers, if you can't sell the cure for cancer how can you sell a girl to spread her legs.
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#10

Sort out your emotions

Interesting article, thanks for posting.
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#11

Sort out your emotions





AB ANTIQUO, AB AETERNO
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#12

Sort out your emotions

Depends on what you're selling. Fuck i hated it when i was walking door to door trying to get signatures. The product? Electricity.

Wine is much sexier.

Feel free to PM me for wine advice or other stuff
ROK Article: 5 Reasons To Have Wine On A Date
RVF Wine Thread
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#13

Sort out your emotions

Quote: (07-01-2012 12:51 PM)Kitsune Wrote:  

Quote: (07-01-2012 12:41 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

Quote: (07-01-2012 11:53 AM)Kitsune Wrote:  

Not entirely sure about the 'act as if...then' idea.

Someone who has never been in any type of sales environment.

Am I right or am I right?

No. [Image: huh.gif]

Thought so.

Quote: (07-01-2012 02:06 PM)Fathom Wrote:  




The more life goes on, the more I feel like Alec Baldwin in that movie.
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#14

Sort out your emotions

Quote: (07-02-2012 08:38 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

Quote: (07-01-2012 12:51 PM)Kitsune Wrote:  

Quote: (07-01-2012 12:41 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

Quote: (07-01-2012 11:53 AM)Kitsune Wrote:  

Not entirely sure about the 'act as if...then' idea.

Someone who has never been in any type of sales environment.

Am I right or am I right?

No. [Image: huh.gif]

Thought so.

I meant no as in, 'No, you're wrong.'
I make a lot of money directly selling services on a regular basis.

I still don't believe in the 'Act as if... then' idea.
I don't even really believe in 'Assuming the sale,' but I'd give that a pass if that is what the article suggested. The article suggests that if you act as if you are something then by some mystical method, you'll become it.

I think that is weak.

As for my personal situation, I'm pretty successful. I don't wake up every day and give myself 'affirmations' or 'act as though I've achieved the successes of the day' before I've done so. I work hard, and work smart. I don't think my success has anything to do with doing 'willpower exercises' or 'changing my body language' because I don't.

In my mind, 'Believe until you achieve' is snake oil.
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#15

Sort out your emotions

Quote: (07-03-2012 05:22 AM)Kitsune Wrote:  

Quote: (07-02-2012 08:38 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

Quote: (07-01-2012 12:51 PM)Kitsune Wrote:  

Quote: (07-01-2012 12:41 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

Quote: (07-01-2012 11:53 AM)Kitsune Wrote:  

Not entirely sure about the 'act as if...then' idea.

Someone who has never been in any type of sales environment.

Am I right or am I right?

No. [Image: huh.gif]

Thought so.

I meant no as in, 'No, you're wrong.'
I make a lot of money directly selling services on a regular basis.

I still don't believe in the 'Act as if... then' idea.
I don't even really believe in 'Assuming the sale,' but I'd give that a pass if that is what the article suggested. The article suggests that if you act as if you are something then by some mystical method, you'll become it.

I think that is weak.

As for my personal situation, I'm pretty successful. I don't wake up every day and give myself 'affirmations' or 'act as though I've achieved the successes of the day' before I've done so. I work hard, and work smart. I don't think my success has anything to do with doing 'willpower exercises' or 'changing my body language' because I don't.

In my mind, 'Believe until you achieve' is snake oil.

What do you sell?

Staplers?

What is "I make a lot of money" ?

10 pounds a week?

Quote:Quote:

I'm pretty successful

Sounds like to me you are convincing yourself here.

Right?
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#16

Sort out your emotions

I like your pre-occupation with trying to discredit my opinion as opposed to maybe trying to argue the point.

I'm not entirely sure why you're doing it but whatever, I guess.

Quote:Quote:

What do you sell?

Staplers?

To the best of my knowledge staplers aren't a service.

Quote:Quote:

What is "I make a lot of money" ?

10 pounds a week?

Is this 'Act as if you're a child...that'll make their point less valid' game?

Any way, last week I did two 'sales' which will net me about $60k over the course of the year, for about two hours work a month. I consider 60k for about 20 hours work a reasonable amount of money. At this point I'm not too ambitious as to what your response'll be. Maybe "It isn't real sales unless it's Wall Street 100k per day!" Or whatever. I don't have high hopes.

Quote:Quote:

Sounds like to me you are convincing yourself here.

Right?

Well, not really. I'm as successful as I am, and no amount of 'convincing' is going to change that. Which is kind of my point. I'll happily take evidence to the contrary though, unless you'd rather continue with the 'least-accurate cold-reader in the world' gimmick you've got going on.

If so, cool I guess. I'd rather not answer more personal questions though and get back to the thread.
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#17

Sort out your emotions

This can be settled out simply IMHO. Sounds like you're socially aware and can tell when someone is being fake. G attacks because most people don't practice how to speak/sell/act. Key word is practice. If you practice anything you will get better this is just fact.

Ex: force yourself to smile every day 15 times a day for 60 days and tell me you don't feel slightly happier.

In the sales case. Force yourself to try to sell something every day for 8 hours a day aggressively etc.

While personalities cannot "change over night" they can be change with hard core aggressive practice. This is why stereotypes are non-sensical. You can overcome a stereotype by doing he reverse over and over and over and over again.

Maybe I have to smile 1,000 times a day to improve, maybe a person with higher endorphins only 2 times extra a day. Point again is forced repetition causes change.

Quote: (07-03-2012 10:40 AM)Kitsune Wrote:  

I like your pre-occupation with trying to discredit my opinion as opposed to maybe trying to argue the point.

I'm not entirely sure why you're doing it but whatever, I guess.

Quote:Quote:

What do you sell?

Staplers?

To the best of my knowledge staplers aren't a service.

Quote:Quote:

What is "I make a lot of money" ?

10 pounds a week?

Is this 'Act as if you're a child...that'll make their point less valid' game?

Any way, last week I did two 'sales' which will net me about $60k over the course of the year, for about two hours work a month. I consider 60k for about 20 hours work a reasonable amount of money. At this point I'm not too ambitious as to what your response'll be. Maybe "It isn't real sales unless it's Wall Street 100k per day!" Or whatever. I don't have high hopes.

Quote:Quote:

Sounds like to me you are convincing yourself here.

Right?

Well, not really. I'm as successful as I am, and no amount of 'convincing' is going to change that. Which is kind of my point. I'll happily take evidence to the contrary though, unless you'd rather continue with the 'least-accurate cold-reader in the world' gimmick you've got going on.

If so, cool I guess. I'd rather not answer more personal questions though and get back to the thread.
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#18

Sort out your emotions

Quote: (07-03-2012 05:22 AM)Kitsune Wrote:  

The article suggests that if you act as if you are something then by some mystical method, you'll become it.

But isn't that the entire point of game. Stop playing computer games and rubbing out to weak porn, start approaching girls and spending time with them and you'll get better at fucking them. What are the other options?
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#19

Sort out your emotions

Quote: (07-01-2012 11:25 AM)Homework Wrote:  

Also, the bit about visualization is interesting because it vindicates what Roosh has been saying (don't visualize success, visualize failure) because if you visualize the absolute worst that can happen, a minor setback is trivial in comparison. Fear of failure is a great motivator.

Yeah dude apparently if you visualise success you trick parts of your brain into thinking it's actually succeeded, and then lose motivation. Power of imagination which is shit because I've always been a bit of a dreamer
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#20

Sort out your emotions

Quote: (07-01-2012 11:25 AM)Homework Wrote:  

Also, the bit about visualization is interesting because it vindicates what Roosh has been saying (don't visualize success, visualize failure) because if you visualize the absolute worst that can happen, a minor setback is trivial in comparison. Fear of failure is a great motivator.

Yeah dude apparently if you visualise success you trick parts of your brain into thinking it's actually succeeded, and then lose motivation. Power of imagination which is shit because I've always been a bit of a dreamer
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#21

Sort out your emotions

Quote:

“As you think, so shall you become.” - Bruce Lee
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#22

Sort out your emotions

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit". Aristotle

Did someone actually saw the movie glengary glen ross?
That's not the way how you motivate people. In the end one of the salesman steals the leads. Their leader was weak. Alec Baldwin had to work there everyday.
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#23

Sort out your emotions

Quote: (07-13-2012 06:33 PM)Pepini Wrote:  

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit". Aristotle

Did someone actually saw the movie glengary glen ross?
That's not the way how you motivate people. In the end one of the salesman steals the leads. Their leader was weak. Alec Baldwin had to work there everyday.

There are lots of ways to motivate people.

That way certain works on a certain type of person.
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