[Ringo]

(07-12-2012 12:55 PM)trainwreck Wrote:  

Red flags everywhere.

[HeyPete]

(07-14-2012 07:39 AM)trainwreck Wrote:  

(07-13-2012 04:43 PM)HiFlo Wrote:  

I think you probably should. She's leading on this rollercoaster that, admittedly is fun because he get to tap that pussy, she's probably taking too much time away from things you should be focusing on.

Same deal just happened to me. I played into her games for awhile and then I catch her with another guy. So fuck her dude, you have to ask herself if you'd really be better off chasing new tail than sticking with someone who's too keen on games.

Yeah, I think you're right. Also found out that she was dating 2 guys at the same time 2 years ago. Basically would go to guy A on monday, Guy B on tuesday, then guy A on wednesday.. because she "loved the attention and being spoiled" by them.

Again, I wouldn't really care about it if she hadn't put that "angel image" of a chick that always dated people she had sex with from the beginning on. Now, 6 months later, I find out that she's exactly the kind of girl I like to avoid for LTR's. Her partner count for her age (late 20s) isn't that high (I'm guessing between 13-15 guys) but a big amount of those guys were during a 12 month period of constant partying and smoking after being hurt by a guy really badly (damage and self value alert).

Call me old fashioned, but there's 2 type of girls... the ones you fuck and pass and the ones you fuck and keep. It's funny how being a value guy makes girls completely put up a fake image of themselves just to qualify themselves to you. Her being in her late 20s doesn't really help.

Additionally found out that she lied to a guy she used to date about having had sex with other people during their 3 month break because "I didn't lie... I just didn't want to tell him to not hurt him" (what a funny rationalization). Who knows if she's only telling me that she hasn't fucked other guys during that 6 month period to not hurt me either. There's not really an easy way to find out for me since we live in completely different cities and are in completely different social circles.

Adding to it, she doesn't know what she wants to do with her life.. and she's in her late 20s. Talk about a typical cat lady coming up here.

This girl definitely seems more harm than good. So many red flags that it's alarming

After two weeks of this. I'm sick of her. WTF are you still doing with her? Next post from you should be.

I dumped her.

[alphaspiraton]

This much talk about one girl?

Dump the bitch.

Find another.

You're welcome.

[Dr. Howard]

This thread is turning retarded. You (trainwreck) just keep on turning up more and more sketchy shit about this girl but have yet to post "dumped her".

Her weirdness and penchant for random dick for self esteem should be warning enough but holy fuck, she's also late twenties and older than you. She is only going to DECLINE in quality from what she is now. You are not even 25? Dude, keep going to the gym, working on your business and crushing sluts until you find one that is younger than you are, so you can be the late 20's or early 30's and she's the one thats under 25 and posting on message boards about how her bf has a seedy past of random pussy and she keeps finding out lies that you've told her but still somehow refuses to leave you because 'you're such a great guy'

end of story, don't post anymore bullshit, she's a bad investment and not worth trusting. Fuck, if you can't dump her just cheat on her and let her find out and she'll do it for you.

[HiFlo]

By the sound of things, if trainwreck doesnt dump her first, he's gonna get dumped and he's gonna be fucking hurt.

Wouldn't you prefer to be the one with the upper hand, the one with cards to play and cards to fold when the situation is right. You'll probably be the first guy to ever dump her first, and she'll never forget that. But make it impactful: sit her the fuck down and explain how things are, and that she's no good, and then get her out the fucking door. No fight & makeup sex. Just kick her the fuck to the curb.

[trainwreck]

(07-16-2012 09:30 PM)HiFlo Wrote:  

By the sound of things, if trainwreck doesnt dump her first, he's gonna get dumped and he's gonna be fucking hurt.

Wouldn't you prefer to be the one with the upper hand, the one with cards to play and cards to fold when the situation is right. You'll probably be the first guy to ever dump her first, and she'll never forget that. But make it impactful: sit her the fuck down and explain how things are, and that she's no good, and then get her out the fucking door. No fight & makeup sex. Just kick her the fuck to the curb.

HiFlo, not sure how to proceed with that. I've had a lot of girls but only 2 really meaningful relationships. Both of them ended on mutual interest and with a lot of respect intact. A lot of guys tell me to just tell her to gtfo and say "it's not working out" while others tell me to lay the cards on the table and tell her what the hell is wrong with her. Any ideas? I've already made up my mind. Want to end things and I have been slowing down contact and denying to come and see her, which funnily only made her investment higher.

[xsplat]

(07-20-2012 05:36 PM)trainwreck Wrote:  

A lot of guys tell me to just tell her to gtfo and say "it's not working out" while others tell me to lay the cards on the table and tell her what the hell is wrong with her. Any ideas? I've already made up my mind. Want to end things and I have been slowing down contact and denying to come and see her, which funnily only made her investment higher.

What a lot of guys do when the don't want to have a relationship with a girl, but don't mind fucking her is to realize that's what they want and to act accordingly.

Do exactly what you are doing, in other words. See her less, hunt more, deny her free access to your time.

There is no need to have the relationship talk.

If you want to give her the option of being the type of girl you'd want to date, you don't have to be explicit about it. You can hint to her the qualities you require of a woman you'd ever be serious with. You don't have to say "I won't date you unless you change to do this". You might make fun of a TV character and say "what does she bring to the relationship? If she were applying for marriage and brought in her resume, other than having a pussy the rest of the page would be blank. Where are her cooking skills? Conversation skills? Ability to work in a team? Emotional management skills? She's good for fun, nothing more".

Giving the girl the ultimatum cuts off your option to use her as a fuck buddy. You want to be the one stringing her along with false promises of commitment, rather than her stringing you along with false promises of changing.

I don't know how things are in your life, but for me I don't always have an an abundance of choice. That's one reason I'm attracted to the manosphere and forums like this. The real world dating solutions may be difficult to implement, but we can learn from others who've done hard work to overcome hard problems. It can take sweeping changes to have options, but boy what a difference it makes in quality of life to be the one who chooses to say no.

[Riker]

What exactly do you guys argue about?

[trainwreck]

(07-21-2012 09:39 AM)xsplat Wrote:  

I don't know how things are in your life,

things are amazing in my life. I'm quite wealthy for anyone's standarts and I am healthy and just in general a happy person. I do have other choices and I sometimes fly in girls just for fun. I'm doing quite well but I also notice that I'm still young as fuck or I'd not be annoyed by this.

(07-21-2012 10:02 AM)Riker Wrote:  

What exactly do you guys argue about?

Stupid shit mostly.. when I look back I really ask myself why I even get into that stuff sometimes. Although sometimes we have very groundbreaking stuff that we argue about since we come from completely different cultures

[trainwreck]

Well, whatever you guys were warning me for happened. She added this guy on FB last week.. I saw that he was totally her type so I went into her FB and started looking around. Yesterday she says she can't get on skype because she's going to be "away with friends and might not come back until late". This morning I saw that she wrote to a friend that some guy stayed over.. I flipped out and started trying to get her to admit what happened. She declines until I drop the "look you never logged out of my iPad" line...

she then crumbles and writes me a 6 paragraph long explanation how she's been meeting this guy since beginning of july (when all our shit started). But they never slept together because she "doesnt sleep with anyone" LOL I've heard that one before when she was trying to feed me the bullshit of only 10 partners.. and as you guys know, then I found out about 5 more guys.

apparently, he had stayed over twice but they never had sex (lol after beer, dinner and a long walk.. sure).

She's really sorry, loves me, blah blah. Her defense was that we weren't really officially exclusive.. but the funny thing is that the first time he slept over, we were in a "lets not sleep with anyone else for a while and see how it goes" stage so she basically cheated anyway.

I told her to go fuck herself, stop feeding me bullshit and that it doesn't matter if she slept with a guy or not, just him sleeping over is fucking crazy and that if she really would love me she'd never done that.

She then apologized again and I haven't answered her since.

not really sure how to proceed with this. Keep her as a FB (I feel like I'm too emotionally invested in her) or just ignore her from now on completely. I would like some input. Looking at how this shit is affecting me though, I'd rather be inclined to just drop her off completely since she's totally become a toxic asset to me. I've become totally insecure and I feel horrible with myself. Something that I should not be feeling (and never felt before) due to the success I have in other parts of life and my lifestyle. At this point this chick is just more of an obsession.

Looks like pretty much the exact story of http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-14425.html ... except this one is telling me that she didn't fuck the guy. But given the amount of bullshit that she has fed me, including with all the lies she's been feeding me... it doesn't really matter to me given the fact that he slept over anyway.

[dk902]

Ditch her onto the next.

Quote:

She then apologized again and I haven't answered her since.

not really sure how to proceed with this. Keep her as a FB (I feel like I'm too emotionally invested in her) or just ignore her from now on completely. I would like some input. Looking at how this shit is affecting me though, I'd rather be inclined to just drop her off completely.

You can't seriously even be considering keeping this bitch in your life still?

Look at it this way, the moment she has you writing on forums about her and getting upset, then you know you've lost.

And by the way she's behaved indicates there's no way back (and why would you?). So chalk it off and find yourself a new bitch.

[trainwreck]

(07-31-2012 12:54 PM)dk902 Wrote:  

You can't seriously even be considering keeping this bitch in your life still?

Look at it this way, the moment she has you writing on forums about her and getting upset, then you know you've lost.

And by the way she's behaved indicates there's no way back (and why would you?). So chalk it off and find yourself a new bitch.

honestly, no. I just would love to drop a huge load of jizz on her face and leave the house to make her feel even more horrible. Maybe I should've waited another day or so, for other emails.. to see if she really banged that guy or not (looking at more emails to friends).. but I was just overwhelmed. But as I said, it doesn't make a difference at all now.

[DarkTriad]

(06-30-2012 03:10 AM)trainwreck Wrote:  

So I've been in this LTR with this girl. Normally, I'm not quite the LTR guy but she's hot, keeps herself fit, actually an interesting person, disqualifies orbiters and takes good care of me. It also allows me to focus more on building my business instead of going out to hunt for pussy constantly.

But then there's whenever shit doesn't add up. I'm quite someone who likes to discuss stuff out right away instead of just taking it in in in and then going nuts 3 months later about every single thing that adds up.

She's not quite like that.. was, unlike me, raised to not argue and just go with whatever her parents told her. In my family it's quite normal that we'd raise our voices (not yelling) when disagreeing (I guess Greek would call this the Balkan way, I was indeed raised in an southern European enviroment), she obviously doesnt (northern European, was told to just avoid arguments, agree with everything).

Anytime we get into a small fight or disagreement, she claims I'm yelling at her (lol, I'm not... I raise my tone, yes, but I stay controlled) and says that she doesn't want to discuss anything, then starts crying. This basically makes it impossible for me to win any argument or get shit cleared out. It's fucking with my inner game too because since we can't clear any issues out.. it just makes me unsure about even wanting to be with her.

I'd like to think of what you guys would do, given that you really care about this girl.

The number one reason she does it is because you've encouraged it so much by caving. NEVER reward negative behavior, especially if you plan on having some kind of LTR.

Find some way of punishing her for it instead (withdrawing for a week or two). You would be amazed at how many "crazy" girls suddenly rediscover their sanity and self control when confronted with a guy that won't tolerate this kind of abuse.

[trainwreck]

(08-01-2012 03:01 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  

The number one reason she does it is because you've encouraged it so much by caving. NEVER reward negative behavior, especially if you plan on having some kind of LTR.

Find some way of punishing her for it instead (withdrawing for a week or two). You would be amazed at how many "crazy" girls suddenly rediscover their sanity and self control when confronted with a guy that won't tolerate this kind of abuse.

thanks a lot for your advice man. But have you seen what happened in the meanwhile? I'm afraid it's too late for it now.

[DarkTriad]

(08-02-2012 05:24 AM)trainwreck Wrote:  

(08-01-2012 03:01 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  

The number one reason she does it is because you've encouraged it so much by caving. NEVER reward negative behavior, especially if you plan on having some kind of LTR.

Find some way of punishing her for it instead (withdrawing for a week or two). You would be amazed at how many "crazy" girls suddenly rediscover their sanity and self control when confronted with a guy that won't tolerate this kind of abuse.

thanks a lot for your advice man. But have you seen what happened in the meanwhile? I'm afraid it's too late for it now.

No I hadn't, I was still answering off the first page. It's still good advice for future encounters...never tolerate or reward negative behavior. Exsplat had some gems as well

[Baldwin81]

If handled correctly, what Trainwreck is going through is good. There's nothing wrong with caring for a girl or being in an LTR. I'm going to make an educated guess, however, that this is your first LTR or potential-LTR after taking the red pill. That's a real mindfuck.

You're probably seeing for the first time all the shit you didn't even know existed behind-the-scenes in an LTR. In the (maybe distant) past maybe you'd have chalked her past issues up to "those other guys being dicks," and you'dve been all there for her, being a caring, doting beta. Now you've seen how this otherwise cool girl was duping guys into eating dick sandwiches, getting played by an aloof, indifferent, drug-addict, and breaking-up with men who wanted to commit.

I've been down this road while learning game. To save you any more wasted time, I recommend the following:

1. End it. Edit: I missed the last page, but this advice still holds... Don't respond to her text that may come a few weeks later (if she hasn't found anything better) to come over and bang.

2. (Probably should be number 1) Don't get her pregnant. I know, it's like "Duh," but you've listed the red flags and she's in her late 20's...

3. Approach, approach, approach. If you follow through on suggestion number one you should feel that hunger that only comes with the no prospects, atrophied game, and quitting consistent sex cold turkey.

If you cut this girl loose now, then it's a valuable learning experience. If you keep on with her in any capacity, you'll start seeing negative effects on other parts of your life (if you haven't already). I'm not sure if you're American, but these girls, at that age, are a fucking dime-a-dozen here and aren't worth any more than a drunk fuck, but they fill our newspaper's Wedding Announcement pages goofy grinning with some sucker. They have no soul and will destroy yours if you let them.

[trainwreck]

(08-02-2012 04:38 PM)Baldwin81 Wrote:  

If you cut this girl loose now, then it's a valuable learning experience. If you keep on with her in any capacity, you'll start seeing negative effects on other parts of your life (if you haven't already). I'm not sure if you're American, but these girls, at that age, are a fucking dime-a-dozen here and aren't worth any more than a drunk fuck, but they fill our newspaper's Wedding Announcement pages goofy grinning with some sucker. They have no soul and will destroy yours if you let them.

Thank you for your post. It's really motivating to hear from someone who has been through this when you're having a hard time to fall asleep.

Yeah, before telling her to F off and before realizing that she was dating someone else at the same time, I was going through a really bad phase already. She would refuse to see me, be drunk constantly, the BJ's were becoming less and less and she wasn't showing the same amount of affection. I didn't know what was going on, I hadn't really changed anything and she was being cold for no reason.

I'm getting over this more and more every day that passes by. Still hurts that she doesn't even have the audacity to tell me that she was not banging the other dude and claimed she never did it either. It'd definitely be easier to manage if I knew for 100% that she was banging him or not instead of her mindfucking me in doubting it for 1%.

So much she did the last time I came over makes sense now .. the sudden refusal to hold hands in the city center, the refusal of sex, no tolerance for a little bit of disaccordance.. bitch tells me she had no feelings for the other guy.. but was def looking for reasons to break it up with me.

Haven't been really consistent with the "dont contact her" rule. Got drunk on wednesday, tried to get into her account again (which I'm sure she noticed due to a changed PW). So beta, FML

I am going on a 5 week party trip with friends and thought sending her a small closure email yesterday was a good idea. Nothing amazing, just how she disappointed me and that I hope that she learns for the future. That I need space etc. She obviously hasn't responded to any of these things at all.

It's funny how now I read through the thread and people had been telling me to break up with her a couple weeks ago before she makes me go crazy. It looks like you guys were right. Lets hope this 5 week trip kills the last part of me that still wants her at all.

[void]

cut her out of your life, and get back your life/hobbies/party with friends or whatever was/is your passion.

[snoop]

(07-31-2012 01:01 PM)trainwreck Wrote:  

(07-31-2012 12:54 PM)dk902 Wrote:  

You can't seriously even be considering keeping this bitch in your life still?

Look at it this way, the moment she has you writing on forums about her and getting upset, then you know you've lost.

And by the way she's behaved indicates there's no way back (and why would you?). So chalk it off and find yourself a new bitch.

honestly, no. I just would love to drop a huge load of jizz on her face and leave the house to make her feel even more horrible. Maybe I should've waited another day or so, for other emails.. to see if she really banged that guy or not (looking at more emails to friends).. but I was just overwhelmed. But as I said, it doesn't make a difference at all now.

going for "revenge" shows her you still care and have feelings. Complete ambivalence is the route if you really want to fuck with her. Just drop her completely without any explanation, don't even tell her you "need time apart", are "breaking up", etc. Just stop contacting her entirely and never respond to anything from her. just act as if she doens't exist in any way. IME There is nothing chicks hate more than being completely irrelevant.

[trainwreck]

(08-03-2012 10:27 AM)snoop Wrote:  

(07-31-2012 01:01 PM)trainwreck Wrote:  

(07-31-2012 12:54 PM)dk902 Wrote:  

You can't seriously even be considering keeping this bitch in your life still?

Look at it this way, the moment she has you writing on forums about her and getting upset, then you know you've lost.

And by the way she's behaved indicates there's no way back (and why would you?). So chalk it off and find yourself a new bitch.

honestly, no. I just would love to drop a huge load of jizz on her face and leave the house to make her feel even more horrible. Maybe I should've waited another day or so, for other emails.. to see if she really banged that guy or not (looking at more emails to friends).. but I was just overwhelmed. But as I said, it doesn't make a difference at all now.

going for "revenge" shows her you still care and have feelings. Complete ambivalence is the route if you really want to fuck with her. Just drop her completely without any explanation, don't even tell her you "need time apart", are "breaking up", etc. Just stop contacting her entirely and never respond to anything from her. just act as if she doens't exist in any way. IME There is nothing chicks hate more than being completely irrelevant.

Yep. Too late for that now I guess... Messaged her exactly that crap yesterday. Oh well. I really gotta stop getting back on that obsessive route.

[trainwreck]

Sorry for double posting. But how can a chick rationalize to herself seeing another guy besides me for a month, seeing me become miserable bc I noticed something was fishy, have him over cook dinner, drink wine and sleep over including breakfast, then telling me that she "only kissed" and loves me (and expect me to believe it)... this shit just blows my mind. Also said that she was still looking forward to the vacation we had planned and sorry it wasn't gonna happen, lol.

[deepcov3r]

hopeless. all thoughts of her , whatever they are and whatever the goal, are a waste of your short time on earth.

[mental]

(08-04-2012 12:10 AM)trainwreck Wrote:  

Sorry for double posting. But how can a chick rationalize to herself seeing another guy besides me for a month, seeing me become miserable bc I noticed something was fishy, have him over cook dinner, drink wine and sleep over including breakfast, then telling me that she "only kissed" and loves me (and expect me to believe it)... this shit just blows my mind. Also said that she was still looking forward to the vacation we had planned and sorry it wasn't gonna happen, lol.

Bitches be crazy, bro. Don't tolerate that shit. Dump her and find another.

[trainwreck]

Im in her city right now to hang with friends for 2 weeks and she knows it.

its been 2 weeks since i went radio silence on her. Been getting texts and yesterday she added me on fb, then cancelled the friendrequest again. Wtf is her point in this?

[mental]

(08-17-2012 08:08 AM)trainwreck Wrote:  

Im in her city right now to hang with friends for 2 weeks and she knows it.

its been 2 weeks since i went radio silence on her. Been getting texts and yesterday she added me on fb, then cancelled the friendrequest again. Wtf is her point in this?

She thinks you found another girl or she got intrigued by you not putting up with her bullshit. Forget about her already and move on.