[Samseau]

It's not like every marriage ends in misery.

Mr. Lemon is a guy on this board who claims to be happily married.

[WestIndianArchie]

(06-04-2012 03:21 PM)Jarocho2003 Wrote:  

I have only lived with foreign women and so far I only have minor complains. I believe I have been more a problem than they have been as they have tolerated A LOT of things a western wife wouldn't. The only minus is not being able to find one that is bisexual and loves to share her girlfriends with me :-)

I
I've had a few foreign women for extended flings, but the cultural gulf, specifically the language barrier was too much.

And lol @ the last part.

Honestly, it's not the "strange" that I miss when i'm in an LTR. Not the sex per se, but the pursuit, the novelty of turning a stranger into a lover, much more so than the sex itself.

But the day to day stuff...that becomes unbearable.

What do you want to eat
no, what do you want to eat
Did you wash the dishes yet
Take the trash out..
I wanna watch housewives of Denver
I love you....aren't you gonna say you love me back....
are you going to fuck me tonight....

[Norset]

Want kids? Marry. That's the risk you have to take to give your offspring the best shot at success. Make sure it's a calculated one:

1) Wife's family in your socio-economic class.
2) No previous kids/husbands/engagements (obvious).
3) Personality, femininity and intelligence over raw looks. They will fade.
4) Set up your life so that you don't spend every day with your wife (and kids). Make sure they miss you.
5) Optional: Goes along with 4, don't let your self go physically and accept that you will want to do other women.
6) From the day you meet your wife to be, if she so much as holds another mans hand, sits on his lap or hugs him too tightly... Next.
7) Accept that she will have had other men before you, and probably some ONS. It doesn't make her a horrible person. Just make sure she has never had a shot at a relationship with a better guy than yourself.

Nothing is a guarantee 100% failure or success. Do you homework, plan as best as you can, and accept the risks associated with the potential reward. Of course, I realize the risk:reward ratio has been skewed in the lawyers' favor in recent times, and might continue doing so.

I'm not afraid to die without a long term wife/female companion, but I'm deathly afraid to stare into the abyss without anyone to carry my legacy further. I'm still unsure what to do if I don't find a suitable future mother of my children.

Disclaimer: I'm 22.

[20th Level]

Looking back on my entire life I have found that the best years of my life have been the ones where I have been totally single, followed by LTR's but no co-hab and BY FAR the worst being when I was living with a chick. I have to agree with the guys that say that its not the fact that you are only banging one chick that is the biggest problem, its the constant DEMANDS and need for attention that is by far the biggest headache.

As I have gotten older I can honestly say that there are precious few things in life that are better than coming home from work to a quiet clean house with no chick sitting on the couch with her arms folded waiting for you to ask what's wrong.

I try to picture a scenario in my head where I could live happily married with a chick for the rest of my life but I keep drawing a blank. Or more accurately every hypothetical future scenario ends in a train wreck.

[Parlay44]

(06-05-2012 10:02 AM)20th Level Wrote:  

Looking back on my entire life I have found that the best years of my life have been the ones where I have been totally single, followed by LTR's but no co-hab and BY FAR the worst being when I was living with a chick. I have to agree with the guys that say that its not the fact that you are only banging one chick that is the biggest problem, its the constant DEMANDS and need for attention that is by far the biggest headache.

As I have gotten older I can honestly say that there are precious few things in life that are better than coming home from work to a quiet clean house with no chick sitting on the couch with her arms folded waiting for you to ask what's wrong.

I try to picture a scenario in my head where I could live happily married with a chick for the rest of my life but I keep drawing a blank. Or more accurately every hypothetical future scenario ends in a train wreck.

The problem is parents pushing the princess fantasy on girls all through the formative years. Is it a shock that they're dissappointed with relationships and marriage these days?

[Giovonny]

Marriage???

I thought we were talking about LTRS. These are 2 very different things right?

You can be with a woman without all the legal and financial obligations. And, you can still cheat.

LTR-Maybe

Marriage-No

Mini-Relationship- Yes

[Timoteo]

(06-05-2012 01:22 AM)Norset Wrote:  

Want kids? Marry. That's the risk you have to take to give your offspring the best shot at success. Make sure it's a calculated one:

1) Wife's family in your socio-economic class.
2) No previous kids/husbands/engagements (obvious).
3) Personality, femininity and intelligence over raw looks. They will fade.
4) Set up your life so that you don't spend every day with your wife (and kids). Make sure they miss you.
5) Optional: Goes along with 4, don't let your self go physically and accept that you will want to do other women.
6) From the day you meet your wife to be, if she so much as holds another mans hand, sits on his lap or hugs him too tightly... Next.
7) Accept that she will have had other men before you, and probably some ONS. It doesn't make her a horrible person. Just make sure she has never had a shot at a relationship with a better guy than yourself.

Nothing is a guarantee 100% failure or success. Do you homework, plan as best as you can, and accept the risks associated with the potential reward. Of course, I realize the risk:reward ratio has been skewed in the lawyers' favor in recent times, and might continue doing so.

I'm not afraid to die without a long term wife/female companion, but I'm deathly afraid to stare into the abyss without anyone to carry my legacy further. I'm still unsure what to do if I don't find a suitable future mother of my children.

Disclaimer: I'm 22.

Number 4 is the difficult one to pull off, though I totally agree with it. Unless you have a job that provides the opportunities to travel, women simply aren't cool with you being out of their sight for anything beyond the occasional boys' night out. The more progressive couples do the separate vacations thing, but I don't personally know of any couples like that, and most women are too paranoid to be okay with it. The first thing they'll say is, "Why don't you want to go away with ME?" It's definitely the day-to-day of relationships that I don't need. Women want to talk on the phone a few times a day. I can't be bothered. If I'm going to see you later, why the fuck do I need to hear your voice just for the sake of hearing your voice, when there's really nothing to talk about? There may be a day or two when I don't want to talk to you at all. It isn't because I'm mad at you. I just need a break. I think relationships burn out because you're in each other's face constantly, and you never give each other the opportunity to miss each other. For women, it's based in insecurity and distrust, even if they don't have a specific reason to feel that way.

[dk902]

Good post Timoteo.

Quote:

Women want to talk on the phone a few times a day. I can't be bothered. If I'm going to see you later, why the fuck do I need to hear your voice just for the sake of hearing your voice, when there's really nothing to talk about? There may be a day or two when I don't want to talk to you at all. It isn't because I'm mad at you. I just need a break.

So true this one. I've never understood guys who live with their girl and speak to them every day on the phone as well? I mean what the fuck is that?

I can barely communicate more than a few times a week with a girl I'm seeing and I'm not even living with them. Many girls seem to think something's instantly up if you don't want to blow up their phone. That's because they think it's normal behaviour from needy dudes they've been with in the past.

[Timoteo]

(06-05-2012 12:28 PM)dk902 Wrote:  

Good post Timoteo.

Quote:

Women want to talk on the phone a few times a day. I can't be bothered. If I'm going to see you later, why the fuck do I need to hear your voice just for the sake of hearing your voice, when there's really nothing to talk about? There may be a day or two when I don't want to talk to you at all. It isn't because I'm mad at you. I just need a break.

So true this one. I've never understood guys who live with their girl and speak to them every day on the phone as well? I mean what the fuck is that?

I can barely communicate more than a few times a week with a girl I'm seeing and I'm not even living with them. Many girls seem to think something's instantly up if you don't want to blow up their phone. That's because they think it's normal behaviour from needy dudes they've been with in the past.

Yep. Just like we fear the bait and switch, we as men need to establish who we are early in the relationship and stay consistent. If you're not a "phone guy," establish that. She'll have to understand that or bounce. Then later on she can't be mad at you for not wanting to make small talk throughout the day. She can learn to save all the nonsense for when she actually sees you. Occasionally you can treat her to a buzz during the day to let her know you're thinking about her (though you really aren't...HA HA!), and to get her moist.

[Keyser Söze]

(06-05-2012 01:22 AM)Norset Wrote:  

Want kids? Marry. That's the risk you have to take to give your offspring the best shot at success. Make sure it's a calculated one:

1) Wife's family in your socio-economic class.
2) No previous kids/husbands/engagements (obvious).
3) Personality, femininity and intelligence over raw looks. They will fade.
4) Set up your life so that you don't spend every day with your wife (and kids). Make sure they miss you.
5) Optional: Goes along with 4, don't let your self go physically and accept that you will want to do other women.
6) From the day you meet your wife to be, if she so much as holds another mans hand, sits on his lap or hugs him too tightly... Next.
7) Accept that she will have had other men before you, and probably some ONS. It doesn't make her a horrible person. Just make sure she has never had a shot at a relationship with a better guy than yourself.

Nothing is a guarantee 100% failure or success. Do you homework, plan as best as you can, and accept the risks associated with the potential reward. Of course, I realize the risk:reward ratio has been skewed in the lawyers' favor in recent times, and might continue doing so.

I'm not afraid to die without a long term wife/female companion, but I'm deathly afraid to stare into the abyss without anyone to carry my legacy further. I'm still unsure what to do if I don't find a suitable future mother of my children.

Disclaimer: I'm 22.

Erase 7. It's not relevant. You will learn why if you haven't already.

[deepcov3r]

I think many people here are discounting:

1) THe high variability of tendency/ability to pair-bond-to-woman among men.
2) The clear selection on this board for men with lower, maybe VERY low pair-bonding tendencies.

My impression is that pair-bonding tendency is built in through neurological heredity, and can't be changed much...For me, even living with pretty incompatible girlfriends was better than living by myself. That empty fucking house when you come home, man, I really hate that.

Now if you're not strongly pair-bonded; her constant telephone calls may be more annoying than an empty house.

There's no one answer, except to know yourself and figure out how to get what you want.

[MrLemon]

(06-05-2012 01:22 AM)Norset Wrote:  

Want kids? Marry. That's the risk you have to take to give your offspring the best shot at success. Make sure it's a calculated one:

1) Wife's family in your socio-economic class.
2) No previous kids/husbands/engagements (obvious).
3) Personality, femininity and intelligence over raw looks. They will fade.
4) Set up your life so that you don't spend every day with your wife (and kids). Make sure they miss you.
5) Optional: Goes along with 4, don't let your self go physically and accept that you will want to do other women.
6) From the day you meet your wife to be, if she so much as holds another mans hand, sits on his lap or hugs him too tightly... Next.
7) Accept that she will have had other men before you, and probably some ONS. It doesn't make her a horrible person. Just make sure she has never had a shot at a relationship with a better guy than yourself.

Nothing is a guarantee 100% failure or success. Do you homework, plan as best as you can, and accept the risks associated with the potential reward. Of course, I realize the risk:reward ratio has been skewed in the lawyers' favor in recent times, and might continue doing so.

I'm not afraid to die without a long term wife/female companion, but I'm deathly afraid to stare into the abyss without anyone to carry my legacy further. I'm still unsure what to do if I don't find a suitable future mother of my children.

Disclaimer: I'm 22.

This is a pretty good list for a guy of 22.

I would add:

8. Chase LOTS of pussy in your 20s. Don't even think about marriage till you're 30+, and only with a woman who is in her 20s and doesn't have huge career ambitions (like, an artist or musician is ok, a doctor or lawyer his huge no-no).

[xsplat]

I like being in love, when the girl loves me more than I love her and when I don't have any obsessive thoughts. I like the waking up to to kisses and breakfast. I like a pervasive shared intimacy.

But in my experience those feelings last from 3 months to 1.5 years.

So I do serial and parallel monogamy. I'm happy to have live ins, but when things get lame, it's time to move on. The easiest way to move on is to have a portable income and a passport.

[reaper23]

(06-04-2012 10:53 AM)j r Wrote:  

I am, but I want kids. I have a girl in mind. I think it will work out, but the key for me is that, if it doesn't, "oh well." More importantly she knows how I feel. I used to think that divorce was "not an option," but eff that, everything is an option. The idea of being 40 or 45 and newly single doesn't scare me at all. If I keep in shape and stay on my present financial track, it should be fairly easy to pick up women 10 or 15 years younger.

This is the key.

If you find the right girl and keep the right mindset, you'll be fine.

The women you guys describe I wouldnt even talk to much less bang much less have a LTR with.

my girl cooks amazing new dishes 3-4 nights a week. she looks hot and fucks me whenever I want. if i want to go do something without her she says no problem. she never schedules shit with her sister unless i'm busy. she has few friends because she knows that women are retarded. she defers to me on every major issue. i run the house and she does what i instruct her to do.

i'm out of town right now and she just texted me that she is cleaning out the fridge, home alone. no friends, no orbiters, no nothing. straight home from work, to the gym, home to clean out the fridge while i'm away on business. the girls you guys describe sound like they would be out partying with their girl friends.

if you treat women like slightly older children that you have to guide and coach, its no problem.

i think a significant age difference is helpful. its no problem to create the frame that you are older, wiser, more successful and in charge if you are...well...older, wiser, more successful and in charge. its just structural. virtually every situation that comes up in life, you'll know more and be better equipped to handle.

my girl is 26 i'm 36. she is pregnant. i'm thrilled. i showed her the light in terms of fertility and then erasing her feminist brainwashing. she is as red pill of a woman as there is. it is possible.

but the key as stated above is to not be afraid to dump her ass.

[deepcov3r]

The older you get the more you realize people are mostly the same. This reduces the interest in finding more and more people to meet because they are more and more like someone you already know.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

About calling you all the time and etc., I don't mind neediness like that. It's cute. I just mind that it seems to be correlated with loss of attraction - i.e. that if you talk to her too much, her desire for you wanes, you seem Beta, and things go downhill. A shit test, so to say. But if there were a woman who was genuinely more attracted from talking to me all the time, I'd appreciate her a lot.

[kazz]

At the moment im living in a city now that is 'family' heaven, i have seen all of my former wingmen/mates now paired up. I have little in commen with them now, they make no effort to see me and I make none to see them. A good friends dad was married for 40 years, then just up and moved to asia (you all know why) now has a younger GF. Another good friends parents have been married for over 40 years. Who is happier? hard to say really. One thing is for sure most people that get married are like sheep, they are weak, small minded and/or just plain dum. I do believe in LTR but only if the women is worthy, I have only meet around 3 in my life out of hundreds of dates, flings, relationships etc

Im glad i found this forum of likeminded men, this forum gives me strength, when at times it is hard, people are like are you married? never been married? whats wrong with you type thing. (due to the place im living at the moment, a city but not really high enough population). Im not even that old, a little ways of 40 yet, not that that is old either... Anyway will soon be traveling to greener pastures never to return

[Hooligan Harry]

Where in Aus Kazz?

[Vicious]

Why is there a bunch of young guys in this thread saying that 35+ guys shouldn't consider LTRs no matter what? At that age you will have a completely different set of experiences and viewpoint on life.

[WestIndianArchie]

(06-21-2012 10:20 AM)Vicious Wrote:  

Why is there a bunch of young guys in this thread saying that 35+ guys shouldn't consider LTRs no matter what? At that age you will have a completely different set of experiences and viewpoint on life.

It's the internet, people always have to put their 2 cents in, even when they shouldn't.

WIA.

[snoop]

(06-21-2012 10:20 AM)Vicious Wrote:  

Why is there a bunch of young guys in this thread saying that 35+ guys shouldn't consider LTRs no matter what? At that age you will have a completely different set of experiences and viewpoint on life.

Since the beginning of time youngsters have never let the fact they don't know anything about a topic stop them from opening their pie holes and confirming it.

[MikeCF]

(06-21-2012 10:20 AM)Vicious Wrote:  

Why is there a bunch of young guys in this thread saying that 35+ guys shouldn't consider LTRs no matter what? At that age you will have a completely different set of experiences and viewpoint on life.

Yeah, but the time you are 35, you've seen several friends (and maybe yourself) live awful marriages, become zombies with bratty kids, and get divorce raped.

I was far more in favor of marriage in my 20s than 30s.

Once you've seen rather than merely read about the desperation of marriage and divorce, it's hard to be anything but anti-family.

[Stitch]

(06-21-2012 05:32 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

Once you've seen rather than merely read about the desperation of marriage and divorce, it's hard to be anything but anti-family.

And once you've experienced it and had a 20-year pension chopped in half because the woman you paid the way through school for decided she wanted to sleep with other guys, it's even harder.

[Vicious]

(06-21-2012 05:32 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

(06-21-2012 10:20 AM)Vicious Wrote:  

Why is there a bunch of young guys in this thread saying that 35+ guys shouldn't consider LTRs no matter what? At that age you will have a completely different set of experiences and viewpoint on life.

Yeah, but the time you are 35, you've seen several friends (and maybe yourself) live awful marriages, become zombies with bratty kids, and get divorce raped.

Who said anything about marriage? That's something you're reading in.

[MikeCF]

(06-21-2012 06:17 PM)Vicious Wrote:  

(06-21-2012 05:32 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

(06-21-2012 10:20 AM)Vicious Wrote:  

Why is there a bunch of young guys in this thread saying that 35+ guys shouldn't consider LTRs no matter what? At that age you will have a completely different set of experiences and viewpoint on life.

Yeah, but the time you are 35, you've seen several friends (and maybe yourself) live awful marriages, become zombies with bratty kids, and get divorce raped.

Who said anything about marriage? That's something you're reading in.

No quality girl is going to have a non-marriage-based LTR situation.

Unless by LTR you mean a year or so with a woman.

LTR to me means several years.