I've mentioned it before in this thread, my New Years resolution was NPNF.
I've been marking my calendar since the beginning of the year. Folded twice back in January, once because of a last minute cancellation after some heavy texting innuendo with a chick in my rotation, the other 'just because'. I mark(ed) faps, bangs, and new notches.
And using this
Time Between Two Dates calculator to check my progress...
Yesterday was
DAY 250.
Looking back now, one of the biggest things I've gleaned since January is to have an
abundance mentality.
A couple years ago when I was first officially divorced (and shortly before finding the forum), I went on a few 'dates'. I'd match with a woman online, run some banter, and meet up at a local bar/restaurant for a couple of drinks, hoping to run enough game to get her back to my place. That didn't work back then, as 1) I was 'thirsty', and 2) it showed.
"C'mon, come back to my place, I'll show you ______". The tone of my voice I'm sure reeked of desperation and neediness.
Last year, I had (and still have) one woman in my rotation (Shiva) that I've known for a long time (she's a 6 on a good day). If all else failed, I had her as a backup instead of rubbing one out.
This worked well with drink meetups, but the downside was my feeling 'arrogant'. I didn't 'need' to bed this woman I was having drinks with, because I had Shiva to go bang out. And part of that, I think, was the uncertainty of the potential new bang. "What if I go too far ?", "What if she gets back to my place and doesn't like it", "What if...", etc.
That mentality may have cost me a few bangs. Looking back now, as long as my place wasn't/isn't a complete shithole, is tidy, and I'm not an apologetic beta, those fears were unsubstantiated.
This year, I've had Shiva in the regular rotation, as well as various women in and out of the rotation. Including Shiva, I have two regulars right now. And I'm currently in the double digits for new notches this year... my best year ever (so far). Some from Tinder, POF, Bumble, and SA.
Most have come direct to the house/hotel room for the bang, or I've gone to their place for the same thing. Some have been 5's, some have been 8's.
While there's a debate to be had regarding quality of notches, I liken having a 5 in the rotation to car shopping. It's a lot easier to be selective and find a good deal when you already have a car to drive (and can walk away from a sale if you don't like the interest rate or the resale value), versus needing a car and not having one, where you're under pressure or time constraints to buy one (and have to take that higher interest rate or the lack of luxuries in the car).
In the same venue, it's easier to seek out new notches when you have a 'go to' or 'stand by' at your disposal. Even if she's a 5, it allows you to be a little more selective when searching for an 'upgrade' or a 'second car'.
Abundance Mentality.
I don't write all this to come across as braggadocious, I write it because I'm almost certain that NPNF has gotten me to where I am this year.
NPNF has given me the 'push' to seek out new notches.