[WesternCancer]

I learned a lot from the "Your top 3 personal qualities that contribute to bangs " thread. Everyone has different specialties, different ways they work the game and as a guy still working on mastering my game I can apply most of those points to myself. However, before success there is failure. Sometimes it is hard to pinpoint where one went wrong. What are ways that you guys fuck up on a regular basis, or what do you do sometimes that prevents you from getting laid? Bad habits etc.

1. Failing to plan this is a huge one for me, I'm never thinking about logistics: where to go, when to bring her home, how to get there etc. I catch myself approaching without a gameplan. I say something, ramble for a bit and realize I have no idea where I'm going with the interaction so I say lets dance or just keep talking. As a beginner I should be allotting a specific time to read material, to go out and practice, to have dates etc. I've failed with a few girls because I got their number and never planned a date. I would be busy with school or another girl.

2. Haven't optimized my looks I just got my tax return back so I'm planning on having that be "game money" for the summer. It will go towards building my wardrobe, gym stuff, etc. I don't get haircuts as often as I should. I need a beard trimmer to keep a constant level of scruff, don't plan my outfit or general style, I don't take care of my skin. Still need to lose more weight. The list goes on. I think this contributes to not getting bangs because it inhibits my confidence, some days I look like crap and I want to be more fit. looks do have something to do with success.

3. I'm not decisive enough/too persistent in the wrong ways I don't give a girl the boot if shes acting badly, I don't cut girls off if they flake, I'm not as aggressive when pushing for sex as I should be. I still talk to old bangs when I don't plan on banging them again. I kind of just say whatever and either talk to them less or Ill talk to them when they talk to me. Bad because it slows down things and either one of us lose interest. I also have a problem with wanting to bang all girls I've gotten a makeout with even if the process is taking too long. I'll be persistent like I have to conquer that pussy. Recently over a 6month span I was talking/going on dates with a girl on/off. Maybe 1 or two a month at most. I made myself keep going until I banged her (it was great), its like I have to finish what I started or I'll keep thinking about the failure (not the girl). I also have a girl I've known for a year I'm hanging out with soon, we've only hungout 3 times or so, but each time logistics have fucked us (her having a boyfriend, her living really far away etc), but we made out all of those times. Again I feel like I have to finish what I started. I think this indirectly affects my bangs because I should be focusing on other girls instead of them. In my defense I have been banging other girls and will not hesitate in doing so. It is not oneitis its a compelling need to finish something that I've started.

[Tuthmosis]

For me, it is mostly a poor execution of the things I do right, but not completely:

1. Talking Too Much: I'm good at talking and telling stories, but if I'm not careful I can talk myself out of some pussy. This happens less nowadays than it used to, but it rears its ugly head once in a while.

2. Overthinking Things: I'm pretty good at planning and then stepping back and just ad-libbing. But, sometimes I get so caught up in details, opportunities and windows close up.

3. Goofing Off (Often on this Forum) Instead of Finishing My Other Shit So I Have Time to Game on Real Chicks: This is partially joking, but it's also true. I probably spend way too much time doing stuff I don't need to be doing instead of being surgical about getting my obligations completed so I can do more approaches, go on more dates, and bang more girls.

[el mechanico]

Tuth, I would have guessed those three things about you. It's not so bad though just tell girls how good your posts are here and they will understand. I used to do that "oversell" shit back when people talked on phones. I could actually remember many times the exact point where I lost it or just said too much. I dialed in by always leaving on a high note. Seinfeld had a episode about it. It even works with text.

At the end of a funny joke or a witty response give her some radio silence. The pussy will almost grab the phone out of her hand to call you.

[dickbutt]

these are not so much my top 3 personal qualities that contribute to "not getting bangs" as much as they are to "being bad at nightgame":

1. i have this keyboard jockey tendency within me whereby i read and devour a shit ton of advanced turbogame material and then spend weeks working on like a 12-page stack that is composed of 17 openers and 23 routines and the like and that is supposed to cover absolutely EVERY situation and contingency so as to give rise to the PERFECT pickup that guarantees sex.

but in reality i will remember next to nothing of that in field in the beginning stages of a pickup and will thereby get nothing; effectively for all my reading my game will be no better than that of some dude who casually reads The Game and decides to try out a single opinion opener and a single attraction gimmick contained therein and gets a decent amount of results with just that.

to use a studying analogy, i'm the guy who highlights everything in his textbook. this is something i need to work on. i need work on the basics and have a gameplan where i stick to just 1 opener, 1 transition, 1 cold read, 1 tease, 1 roleplay, etc. and do that over and over so i can consistently hook sets. once a set is strongly hooked though, and i'm in isolation, the girl's talking, and there's less to freak out about, then actually things aren't as bad for dickbutt and i have the time and calmness to mentally sift through all the stuff i've learned as a KJ and strategize in a sort of advanced manner.

2. somewhat related to the above, i feel very awkward using scripted material, even though i know its value and necessity, and this will extend to indirect openers, such that i rely too much on direct openers. so i use a direct opener that doesn't hook properly because i'm not good looking enough to use them, and then i have a brainfart, and then i plough haphazardly if at all, and then i've got a blowout.

3. i don't approach enough.

[FretDancer]

1. Failing to plan: Just like you WesternCancer, logistics are what makes lowers my potential notch count increase.

2. Fear of unusual logistics: G Manifiesto said it once, a bang in a public place is a powerful move. But I must admit this makes me a little scared. Maybe its the country where I live, maybe its past bad experiences, maybe fear of what the chick is gonna think, which in result adds more LMR (oh boy am I sick of that shit).

[Gmac]

1. Approach Anxiety - Naturally introverted, cold approaching is still really tough for me until I get a few under my belt. Sometimes that means I get started too late in the night (or not at all). Luckily for me, it's often irrelevant because my online/date game is top notch.

2. Inability to avoid cockblocks - I never see it coming until it's too late.

3. Not having a backup plan - Logistics, knowing when to bail, making the right calls.

All of these kind of tie together. I'm much more comfortable in a date environment since we've both already agreed to meet and I feel like I'm in complete control. It's not that I can't pull chicks with night game, but it's definitely my weak point.

[nyc]

This is a humbling thought exercise. Thanks for posting this. Here's what I need to work on:

1. Consistency. Some nights I'm having fun and being social. Just creating great experiences and pulling women almost effortlessly. Other nights, I barely work up the energy to go out. Even if I'm out and there are quality girls, I won't approach or I'll approach badly. I'll even ignore IOIs and get very introverted or "in my head" at times.
2. Conversation, rambling and vocal tone. I'm not talkative or much of a conversationalist. I don't tell interesting stories, improvise or ramble for extended periods of time. I'll have approach anxiety because I know the conversation will be weak after opening. My vocal tone will be weak or get weaker as a conversation lags. I can also have this problem on dates, even if there's strong attraction beforehand.
3. Lifestyle. I need to think more long-term. Right now, there are short-, medium- and long-term goals I need to be working towards that I'm not. Everything from reading books, going to the gym and having a few hobbies to traveling the world and building a career. Failing to develop and live the lifestyle I want will cost me bangs in the future, and probably contributes in subtle ways to not getting bangs in the present.
   

[Greek kamaki]

1.Lack of endurance.I get tired easily and it gets worse with age.I cannot stand energetic pick up for more than 2-3 hours anymore.When I was younger I could do non stop day and night approaches.
2.Inability to operate in the dark.In the past I could pass unnoticed now I draw attention.Lately I get into more and more conflicts.Maybe it is because I present an imminent danger to the guy wanting the girl for himself but truth is I notice more and more guys staring and this before I approach.
3.Lack of control over guys.When I pick up with wings I cannot control them they usually do not get the plan and mess it up.I focus on girls hunting while many guys focus on power over other guys.Sometimes these things can collide and practical decisions are not taken due to different points of view.

[Moma]

1) Getting too complacent. As soon as I land a new lizard and I have a small harem, I stop going out hunting.

2) Appearing too laidback and not bothered. Often, lizards don't know if I want to fcuk.

3) Internal strife with current location. I am always badmouthing this city and lizards can pick up on that.

[gringochileno]

1. Bad ramble. If I don't have a participating conversation partner or anything unique in the environment that I can riff off of, I find it hard to bullshit on my own and keep it interesting for more than a few minutes at most. As you can imagine, this is a frequent problem because one of the most typical early-game scenarios is an unresponsive girl in an unremarkable, nondescript bar. I'll often have a girl standing there and maintaining eye contact but not doing anything to actively encourage me, and it's frustrating because I know that I were a better bullshitter I could crack a lot of these.

2. Poor time management. I have a really demanding schedule right now that prevents me from going out or going on dates as much as I'd like to, and it doesn't help that I tend to procrastinate. This is a habit I'm trying to break--it's probably the #1 thing that costs me notches.

3. Lack of focus. I wasn't sure what to call this, but the gist of it is that a lot of the approaches I do end up being throwaways because I'm drunk and I just feel like fucking with the girl. This can be a strength when it helps me convey the don't-give-a-fuck attitude, but I definitely do stuff that's suboptimal from the standpoint of getting bangs because I think it's funny (a recent one that comes to mind is that I spent like 15 minutes convincing a girl that I've used Eastern meditation techniques to reduce the amount of sleep I get to zero, describing in detail the meditation that I use to substitute for sleep, trips to the Tibetan plateau for "spiritual enlightenment," how I have a Buddhist shrine in my closet, etc. Obviously going overboard and not moving me any closer to banging but I couldn't stop because it was so hilarious that this chick was actually buying it).

[redacted]

1) I talk too much. I'm a master of the spoken word, an eloquent orator, but I will talk myself out of the game if allowed. I need to focus on metering my words as if each cost me a dollar. And I am not a rich man.

2) I still need to optimize my look. I've lost 60 lbs in 2 years, and 15 in the last 6 weeks. I'm getting close to optimal body type, but I still feel lost when it comes to fashion despite having studied it constantly.

3) Read body language better. Some reading on here and some vids online have helped a ton; knowing how to spot a girl who's into me has boosted my confidence a great deal, but I have a long way to go before I overcome this weakness.

[Riker]

1. I get scared of real bad bitches. And by bad I mean hot. This has me debating back and forth whether I should approach and it kills my state. Once I hesitate on one approach or miss an opportunity it can spoil my night. Lots of times I have an easier time when there´s large groups of 6 and 7s but no higher.

2. When I have success I feel invinsible and think I´m above using game. Like when I get in a good state and have natural game or even when I apply a game concept straight up and have some type of significant escalation with a girl I´ll feel I´m superman and I can break all the game rules and still get the bang. This leads me to give her to much attention, tease her less, basically be beta since I´m thinking I´m so awesome I can get away with this.

3. I ltr whenever I feel I´ve got a cool 8+ (though I´ve never been with 9 or 10) girl thats really into me. I oneitis myself and my strong morales make me not want to cheat. After I break up my game is torn to shreads for a long time.

[CJ]

1. Drinking - I still get way too drunk from time to time and rooster block myself. What can I say I like to have a good time, but there's a magic level of intoxication where I'm on autopilot and I'm golden, and then there's the next level where there's a drastic drop-off and my game suffers woefully. I already say some off the wall shit, but if I toss up an air ball, I can usually make a quick recovery when I'm not wasted. Drunk CJ can't focus, drunk CJ keeps approaching other girls IN SITE of the girl he should already have left with. I had a girl recently like this, it was in the bag, but I kept drinking because it seemed like the thing to do, and lost her because I couldn't focus on just her.

2. Gambling - I've had a problem with this off and on for years, mostly poker. I've won some, but never enough to stay 'pro' and make a permanent living off of it. The bottom line is it is far too time consuming and that's time that should be spent with women or bettering myself in other areas.

3. Inconsistent Living Situation - Hmm, I drink a lot and gamble a lot, and as such over the past few years have found myself drifting in and out of various apartments and onto a friend's couch, back in an apartment, off to my brother's spare room, back with a new roommate and in between that whatever girl will have me for the night.


Honestly when you consider those three factors, it's a miracle I get laid at all.

[Roosh]

Not day gaming enough. I'm a night owl and usually just don't feel like talking to anyone during the day. Therefore my day approaches are usually in the form of doing something else (grocery shopping, work at the cafe). If I committed one hour a day just to day gaming, I would have more bangs, but I'm not doing it.

[Cookie]

Workaholic - I have two jobs and school, and one of those jobs goes in twelve hour shifts (but it does pay great) as a result I don't have enough free time to go out every night of the week.

Mood Swings - Sometimes when I go out I'll have the time of my life and just be the fucking man, other times I get this random depressed/angry feeling and I just wind up getting pissed off at everything. Obviously this hurts my game.

Occasional reverting to Beta - Since I only started to learn game and make changes to myself back in August this used to happen a lot. Recently I've noticed that it's becoming less and less frequent, but when it does happen it fucks up my game.

[Tengen]

Recovering Beta - 2 year LTR ended a few months ago and i'm feeling a tad down, not much motivation to approach.

Logistics - Still living with parents, living in an area far away from the nightlife. For the locals here, i'm about a 40-50 min train ride away from Sydney CBD, where all the action is.

Quiet personality - I'm not a natural talker, getting words out of me is like pulling teeth.

[Perseus]

1) Approach Anxiety: (only @ day game), i have to literally punch myself on the balls to stop a girl in her tracks.

2) Logistics: this is a MAJOR one for me, as i am a student, graduating soon. No car, low funding for game (clothes, going out a lot to bars/clubs, etc).

3) My city's bad reputation (Toronto) when it comes to women gets to my head sometimes and this starts fucking with my state through thoughts of "I'm only gonna feed her ego", or "she's showing interest but once i reciprocate it she will split, she just wants to know if she can get a guy better looking than her"

[Jackhammer]

Aloofness - it contributes to me getting bangs, but also stops me from getting them. I go stretches where I just don't fucking feel like talking/flirting/hooking up with anyone and I become very anti-social and distant. My mysterious aloofness becomes creepy aloofness at this point.

Excuses - I still make too many excuses to chicken out of approaching. Even if a girl gives me flirty EC, sometimes I'll drop the ball and just bail without saying anything.

Confidence - I have strong confidence much of the time, but little minor things (such as my hair looking weird or my beard being too long) can completely shatter my psyche and make me into a low self-esteem mess. Sometimes I purposely go out looking as awful as possible in order to break through this issue.

[Aureo]

Logistics Isolating into and acceptably private place for me is hard

Lack of passion To do things right you need to feel passion about it, and that is something I lack most of the time when I'm gaming.

Compassion Uberbeta quality, I feel bad for girls that fall into my hands, it makes me feel their little hearts are fragile (Any tips on this? HEEELP!!)

[soup]

Inconsistency / perpsective : My confidence swings dramatically from to day to day. One day I'm a mack, the next I'm insecure. I'm really sensitive to things, which can be a double edge blade.

Reading signs / timing: Sometimes I'm very good at reading girls, other times I either hesitate, or move too fast. I read in a poker book that the ideal way to approach the game would be to be able to know what cards everyone has, and then to implement the strategies you'd need to win. I think game is like that. The more I get into it, the more I can see the "secret society of women" or red pill etc. - the language of the game.

Focusing energy: I tend to have a lot of energy, and if I don't focus it, I think it leaks out as anxiety, aggression, etc. I see game as a structure that will help enable me to efficiently funnel my energy into achieving what that I want.

[americanInEurope]

1. (Not really a quality but) Going out solo - I work with a bunch of older married guys so going out with people from work is out of the question. A lot of countries I'm in I don't speak enough of the language to link up with local dudes, so I end up going out solo a lot. This wreaks havoc on my state and my social game. It's just not there. This last week I've been in Mexico gaming with other guys for the first time in a long time and it's increased my confidence and results tremendously. Imagine how deadly I'd be if I always had wingmen to roll out with...

2. Failing to not put an effort in my presentation (appearance) - This one is totally my fault. Work has been kicking my ass lately and combined with GTR payments, I just don't have the time or money to do shopping the way I use to. Clothes really do make the man and when I go out with the same t-shirt and jean setup as every other guy, or perhaps a pair of jeans that I've been wearing all week, that laziness and lack of effort shows. If I just put 50% effort into combinations, shoes, and accessories I'd see huge results from my efforts. But a plan is already in the works that will help with that, so it's all good.

3. I suck at attraction - always have. I've got a lot of limiting beliefs, a lot having to do with how I perceive chicks will respond to my race, and a lot having to do with how they'll perceive my nationality, a little having to do with feeling like I don't belong. All this I have to struggle with before and during the set. If I get no eye contact and approach cold, those are the hardest sets for me. This may be also related to the first issue I have, as when I'm with a group approaching the attraction seems easier and more natural.

[TheBulldozer]

1. Not approaching enough/relying on social circles - This is more of a problem at night. I've noticed that most guys struggle more during the day, but I tend to be less comfortable at night. I suppose that it's the superficiality of hitting on women in NYC at night. I've lived a pretty interesting life and have some unique experiences, but I'm a bit sick of having to wrap those interesting experiences around all of the other nonsense that comes with approaching and attracting at night. In the day, I feel like I can have more of a natural conversation and demonstrate these interesting experiences in more of a natural way. Most of my night bangs come from meeting FOAF's and running from there.

2. Choosing Poor Targets - Too often I go out and decide I'll hit on whomever is around as opposed to selecting a target or two and focusing my my energies on how I'm going to proceed. This includes a lot of what Roosh has discussed with not just noticing an attractive girl, but searching for the girl that is displaying clear signals that she is open to banging.

3. Not Being Sleazy Enough - Not getting my hands on her fast enough, not jamming my tongue down her throat, not grabbing her and moving around, not getting that next drink in her, accepting that number instead of going for more. Oftentimes on my way home, I'll think to myself where I could have done things that would have pushed the potential for the bang further along.

[Veloce]

Approach Anxiety. By far. Even after getting bangs from cold approaches, even if I've got girls on rotation, seeing a smoking hot girl can short-wire everything and bring up all the old shit, talking myself out of it, idiotic rationalizations, etc.

I think my night game could use serious work. I'm naturally shy and introverted so it takes me a while to as social as I need to be to yield results with girls at night venues. Day game has been yielding great results, because I'm more "on" in one-on-one interactions where there's less background noise. At night, often I'm just not patient enough to wait around for things to "click" in the venue, which brings me to...

Patience- Horribly impatient, especially if I've got girls on rotation. 9 times out of 10 i'd rather just dial up a sure thing and have her come over to do whatever I want her to, rather than put effort and time into new bangs. If I walk into a venue and it's a major cockfest, it takes every LAST ounce of determination to stick it out, find my spot, and wait for prospects to present themselves.

[WestCoast]

This one is easy for me:
1. Style, clothes are a train wreck (improving this hard core now)
2. Sober conversation skills
3. Still too skinny, 5'10" 155 lbs i bench 240 now but i still look like a zombie... fail

The best decision i have made though? Joining this forum.

[Samseau]

1. I hate talking to women - This one really fucks up my talking game. I can ramble... but I get bored. I can pretend to be interested... but it looks forced, and girls notice. Women are the most uninteresting objects on earth.

Since talking is one of the most effective ways to get laid, not enjoying conversation is my worst pitfall. How can you do pickup when all of the strategies to get laid involve something you loathe doing?

Thank god for dancing, or I'd probably have to shoot myself.


2. Extreme assholeishness and indifference - I can be a real dick, without even trying. A lot of learning game involved me toning down the degree to which I treated others like shit. Most guys have to learn how to stop being nice, but it was the opposite for me. I used to be the classic "bitter beta" in many ways.

Even worse, I can't care enough to want to get laid. I don't care about the women I date, and I really don't give a shit if I fuck things up with girls. I've fucked up many, many chances with women because of this. But I still cannot learn to care.

The only thing that gets me off my ass to go out and hunt pussy is when I get hungry for it. Otherwise, I'd read, smoke pot, make $$$, and play video games.


3. Laziness - Sloth is a sin, and I commit it daily. Amen. This hurts me in other ways besides pickup, but there's no question that my laziness fucks me over big-time.

Fuck me, I need to stop posting right now and do some work.

But maybe I'll play a video game first.