[drymarro]

Well my roommate's birthday party was last night... there was like a whole keg leftover...
so I decided to throw a party. I gave about 6 hours notice and invited about 60 people on facebook and texted a few people. 1 person showed up. My buddy.

So yeah I feel like shit right now. Fuck.

I think I realized I need to develop a better social circle, or a social circle altogether.

I feel like such a loser. I think that this is a sign to change. What are some steps I can take to change my social life around?

[porcupine]

What sort of people in relation to you did you invite?

[Walnuts]

How often do you go out with friends?

[drymarro]

Well it was for the Polish club that I'm VP of. But honestly, even if I take those people out of the equation, I have maybe 10 people I would be able to invite... yeah it sucks

[WesternCancer]

Don't worry about it man like you said its kind of short notice.

I've lost a big group of friends because I banged all of the girls in the group haha. The "straw that broke the camels back" was when I went to the bar told one girl I'd go home with her and then went home with her (slightly less attractive) friend because I wanted the notch. She ended up passing out never heard from them again...

But anyways approach the problem as you would approach "how do I find chicks to bang" go out there talk to everyone, be friendly if you meet a cool dude or something say "lets go for drinks and slay some pussy" or something and get his number. If you're in university making friends is hella easy just walk up to someone in your class and say "wanna study sometime"

I don't really have a huge social circle either. I know a ton of people but my extent of knowing them is saying "what up" on the street or at a party, usually I stick with a few people I get together with once every week or two.

[Icarus]

I'd say that 6 hours is too short notice to invite someone to a party, as people have made plans already. 24-48 hours in advance is probably the ideal. Keep in mind that some people being invited in such short notice may assume that you're inviting them only because your first choices could not show up. Nobody likes to be in the back-up party team.

[UgSlayer]

yeah dude people have shit to do I wouldn't blame it on yourself. Plus, if all you're worried about is banging chicks, you can do so without a social circle.

[porcupine]

They may have known you, but did they know your roommate?

At any rate, like Icarus and WesternCancer said, the notice was too short.

[Cincinnatus]

(04-01-2012 02:16 AM)UgSlayer Wrote:  

if all you're worried about is banging chicks, you can do so without a social circle.

This is a critical realization.

Over an entire lifespan, how many guys will approach a gorgeous woman they have zero social connection with?

Not too many, I'd bet. Cold approaching is a foundation of game, and when one realizes that, it becomes a focal point of the desire to improve one's game.

For dealing with such, I heartily Recommend the RooshV-approved book, Mean Genes by Terry Burnham.

[seluca]

(03-31-2012 10:38 PM)drymarro Wrote:  

Well my roommate's birthday party was last night... there was like a whole keg leftover...
so I decided to throw a party. I gave about 6 hours notice and invited about 60 people on facebook and texted a few people. 1 person showed up. My buddy.

So yeah I feel like shit right now. Fuck.

I think I realized I need to develop a better social circle, or a social circle altogether.

I feel like such a loser. I think that this is a sign to change. What are some steps I can take to change my social life around?

Don't beat yourself up to much. First of all it was short notice as you said, really short notice in my opinion. Second you used facebook, i mean i rarely check the event section because it's always full of shit from clubs and club promoters.

Personally i do have a huge social circle but we're not really friends, we might stay a while and talk on parties but I don't really hang out with everyone one of them. There's about 10 people ( not including family members) that i hang out with often, yes sure many people do know but still they are not my friends.

If you are attending Uni, it's easy to find friends as stated before in the thread but if you don't it might be a little bit harder. The thing you can do is try to ask an acquainted to hang out with him and his friends and then get to know them.

[Gmac]

Hosting parties is not as easy as people like to think... Hmm sounds like a good blog post topic for me...

[-g-]

(03-31-2012 10:38 PM)drymarro Wrote:  

Well my roommate's birthday party was last night... there was like a whole keg leftover...
so I decided to throw a party. I gave about 6 hours notice and invited about 60 people on facebook and texted a few people. 1 person showed up. My buddy.

So yeah I feel like shit right now. Fuck.

I think I realized I need to develop a better social circle, or a social circle altogether.

I feel like such a loser. I think that this is a sign to change. What are some steps I can take to change my social life around?

Free beer should have gotten some attention but like others have said you planned it on short notice. In college, the best ways to improve your social circle are parties/getting trashed/spitting game and the actual school work. I'm working on my masters now and I have to commute 30 mins to get there but my classmates (guys and girls) are regularly asking if I want to come party. I met all of them through class/study groups (which I organized). Organize study groups and include the people you want. Hell if you're smart.. most of them will ask if you wanna do something else/come over/use your imagination.

[Perseus]

From my experience, people in general, especially in North America they want to give you the impression that they have better things to do, or other parties on the list, and you're one option.

In many cases also, people don't like a 6-hour notice, as they will think "who does this guy think he is? for us to drop everything in 6 hours and go to his party".....that kind of mentality which you have to put into consideration.

But overall, don't be too hard on yourself, it's free beer, more for you and your buddy who showed up.

[el mechanico]

Back in the day you would have to turn people away if you let anyone know you had a free keg of beer. These days even though the economy sucks people are still a little spoiled and lazy. Don't feel bad about it and there's no reason to. Your FB friends would have to prepare for FB pictures if they came. Their online personas could have crumbled with such a short time to prepare.

I could do the same experiment here on facebook and invite 300 people from there and 10 by mouth or phone and guess who would be there?

[TennisPlayer]

(04-01-2012 07:33 AM)Gmac Wrote:  

Hosting parties is not as easy as people like to think... Hmm sounds like a good blog post topic for me...

I would like a blog post about this

I often host drinks before going out because it shows off my house/car and its easier to approach people at your own place

[drymarro]

(03-31-2012 11:13 PM)Walnuts Wrote:  

How often do you go out with friends?

Actually not as often as I should. Although I realize this was short notice I also realized that I don't really have many friends. I need to work on my social circle. I've been a little antisocial(staying in my apartment a lot) when working on my business.

(04-01-2012 07:33 AM)Gmac Wrote:  

Hosting parties is not as easy as people like to think... Hmm sounds like a good blog post topic for me...

It's pretty hard. There are a lot of factors that go in. But once you have an established circle of friends and hookups; and people know your parties are good, they will come.
It's all expectations.
Thing is, I don't really have any base to work off of so that's where I messed up. I really should've not thrown it and prepared longer-term.
I think one way to attract people is offer keg, jungle juice, and cheap-ass shots. Then when you get established you already DHV so you can charge.

(04-01-2012 09:18 AM)Perseus Wrote:  

From my experience, people in general, especially in North America they want to give you the impression that they have better things to do, or other parties on the list, and you're one option.

In many cases also, people don't like a 6-hour notice, as they will think "who does this guy think he is? for us to drop everything in 6 hours and go to his party".....that kind of mentality which you have to put into consideration.

But overall, don't be too hard on yourself, it's free beer, more for you and your buddy who showed up.

Yeah exactly, it definitely was too short notice. But I know for sure most of the people probably ended up doing something lame or nothing at all. I think it's stupid how in our culture you need to be given such a long notice because of the scare of looking like a "loser".
One thing I hate about American culture, such political correctness.

(04-01-2012 09:26 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

Back in the day you would have to turn people away if you let anyone know you had a free keg of beer. These days even though the economy sucks people are still a little spoiled and lazy. Don't feel bad about it and there's no reason to. Your FB friends would have to prepare for FB pictures if they came. Their online personas could have crumbled with such a short time to prepare.

I could do the same experiment here on facebook and invite 300 people from there and 10 by mouth or phone and guess who would be there?

^^ This. I realized that over and over. My friend invited 1,000 girls to his party once. (He had a special account called "XXX Bangers" and had around 2,000 college cuties added. - If anyone is interested in how to get so many people ask me. I know a little about facebook marketing and facebook software)

But like the party wasn't as crazy as we had expected it to be. Sure there was a decent 1:1 But he had invited only girls so we were expecting a lot more girls... and prettier ones... lol.

I think what you need to do is couple facebook event with mass text and calling. Word of mouth is better than some event.
If anything hire people to market for you.(If you're really determined).

Heh look at me now, giving the advice.

Thanks for all the replies. I considered each one and appreciate the community responses.

[Kickb]

Throwing parties was one of my favorite things about my last apartment. Luckily im about to move out of this one. We havnt been able to throw a party in 8 months =[.

Tje key to a good party is having a bunch of stuff for everyone to do. I spend most of my weekend nights at my friends house. Last saturday a friend of ours who DJs at clubs and played at SBSW came over and played at the party all night. So we had a DJ, a swimming pool where people could jump off the roof into, a huge beer pong table, a table where people played spades, super smash brothers and mario kart on a big screen tv, trashcan punch, there was a candy man with quite the selection, and a couple bottles of liquor.

The party was a ton of fun.

I dont think you need a huge social circle, just befriend a few cool dudes and they will invite their cool friends.

[Giovonny]

No one showed to a party that was planned 6 hours in advance! Who cares?!?!? Are you trying to be a party promoter or something?

This doesn't mean anything about your game. You could have went to someone elses party and met a girl there. You could have went out and met a girl. You could have gone online and met a girl. You could have met a girl thru a friend of a friend.

Don't let your inability to throw a party effect your ability to get girls.

Don't take it personal. They didn't have enough prior notice.