Quote: (02-15-2012 01:54 PM)DrainTree Wrote:
Quote: (02-15-2012 12:58 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:
Quote: (02-14-2012 04:46 PM)DrainTree Wrote:
What are some cues? This is why it is difficult for me with my mild autism/Aspergers. I can't read cues.
Can I just escalate and hope for the best? How do I do this?
(PS I apologize if my questions seem simple, but I'm just trying to get a handle on this. Thanks)
Look for pupils to dilate.
You're kidding, right? That's impossible to notice unless she's on crack. Normal pupil dilations are minimal and I've never noticed them to change.
Edit- actually I read its important in non-verbal communication. http://voices.yahoo.com/article/45165/th...54702.html , http://www.sosuave.com/articles/lookinto.htm
It seems difficult though, but worth a try. At the very least it will help promote more eye contact which is something I need to do more of.
Thanks for the good tip, its good advice.
I think we can recognize pupil dilation, it's too important in evolutionary terms for us not to be able to detect it.
However, for me, I think I sense it as an overall impression of her face.
If her eyes look shiny, I think that may be because the pupil is dilated and one sees bright reflections against the black pupil .
Also Gambler I believe has a good tactic for gracefully detecting kiss willingness.
You are facing her.
You lean in to talk to her, speaking softly, with your mouth to the side of her head. This gets you in close so your bodies sense the warmth of the other's body.
Then you pull back-- and move in again, moving your mouth to the other side of her head.
You're just talking to her, so she can't protest a lot, but you're getting closer and closer to planting one ( I love that phrase) on her.
You can (GENTLY!) hold the outside of her upper arms when you do this.
The you have some objective referents by her movement when you are getting closer if she likes it. This is a way to get objective feedback if your weak cue detection isn't helping you. ( You don't need to label yourself unless you find it useful)