So I'm seeing this Venezuelan chick and its been like 2 months. She has tight game for a 20 year old. She shit tests me and I pass (mostly really well though barely sometimes) and all but its still uncomfortable for me. A couple of years ago I wouldn't have been able to handle it.
In fact, I like that she does this to me, it keeps me on my toes and keeps my attraction for her.
Its weird though like my onitis for her is strong but I keep it at bay by seeing two girls on the side. Maybe laying 2 or 3 girls more will pull me from being 40% alpha and 60% beta to the other side where I truly feel like I'm in charge and I'm in control.
Its cool, I feel like I'm growing from this relationship but I still have thoughts of making her a LTR eventually though I really don't even know if she's down though she's always tells me she has a great time with me and is down to see me whenever I want, though I keep it a twice a week tops, her game keeps me on my toes so I'm unsure.
I know in the back of my mind its not a good idea and I still have alot of maturing to do and I know I should "marry the game" like the recent thread by Caligula says. But I still have this huge beta provider soul where I want to fall in love with a girl and have her fall in love with me and live life happily ever after in this fantasy world.
I don't even know what I want people to tell me, I just wanted to air my feelings to the forum.
In fact, I like that she does this to me, it keeps me on my toes and keeps my attraction for her.
Its weird though like my onitis for her is strong but I keep it at bay by seeing two girls on the side. Maybe laying 2 or 3 girls more will pull me from being 40% alpha and 60% beta to the other side where I truly feel like I'm in charge and I'm in control.
Its cool, I feel like I'm growing from this relationship but I still have thoughts of making her a LTR eventually though I really don't even know if she's down though she's always tells me she has a great time with me and is down to see me whenever I want, though I keep it a twice a week tops, her game keeps me on my toes so I'm unsure.
I know in the back of my mind its not a good idea and I still have alot of maturing to do and I know I should "marry the game" like the recent thread by Caligula says. But I still have this huge beta provider soul where I want to fall in love with a girl and have her fall in love with me and live life happily ever after in this fantasy world.
I don't even know what I want people to tell me, I just wanted to air my feelings to the forum.