"I want to marry you and have kids. I'm the most loyal girlfriend in the world."
"Oh, him? He's just a friend."
"We only laid in the hotel room bed together. We didn't kiss."
"Okay, we kissed. We only made out, but didn't have sex."
"Okay, we had sex, but it was only for a minute, and it was just the tip."
"Oh, and we also didn't use protection. Sorry. You have chlamydia."
"Oh, him? He's just a friend."
"We only laid in the hotel room bed together. We didn't kiss."
"Okay, we kissed. We only made out, but didn't have sex."
"Okay, we had sex, but it was only for a minute, and it was just the tip."
"Oh, and we also didn't use protection. Sorry. You have chlamydia."
"If you're gonna raise a ruckus, one word of advice: if you're gonna do wrong, buddy, do wrong right."