I take full responsibility for my share of this state of affairs.
That is why I wanted to do my best to change things, rectify things, make it better.
I know I did pretty much everything wrong with her, I basically trained her to break up with me to get what she wants. Then, when I saw her first testing the boundaries, say by using swear words I initially handled it well, but then let it slide too much.
She's a seasoned player, using game herself, I sometimes think she reads the Roosh forum.
Yes, I know NOW, I can't be reactive, emotional, insecure, I did not know this when I first met her. I never had a woman like this. Most of my women have been compliant, submissive even, it was easy. Not with this one, she seems like a man sometimes in her behaviour. She is fantastically strong-willed, says no as a matter of principle, even if she will do it she'll first say 'no'. Very street smart, clever and after twenty years of being a lawyer I never met a better negotiator.
And btw, it's easy to say 'don't be insecure'. I understand the logic. But in real life, when you're apart I do feel insecure sometimes, especially because I know she wrote to her exes before and she must get hit up constantly by guys, she's a bit of a liar and always out for her advantage. When we're together it's a little different, because I can see what she's doing mostly. But even then I feel I should be installing software to monitor her iphone because she's shown in the past that she'd write to her exes in my apartment when I'm not there. All the while I was trying to show her a great time, taking her to beautiful beaches and we had a fantastic time being together all day. Then I picked up her phone and saw for weeks she was writing to her ex. Nothing flirty, just saying her father died, and how his (the ex's) reply meant a lot to her (he said he was in India and about to light a candle, the hypocritical cunt). She may not fully trust me, but I don't fully trust her either.
I pm'ed you.
That is why I wanted to do my best to change things, rectify things, make it better.
I know I did pretty much everything wrong with her, I basically trained her to break up with me to get what she wants. Then, when I saw her first testing the boundaries, say by using swear words I initially handled it well, but then let it slide too much.
She's a seasoned player, using game herself, I sometimes think she reads the Roosh forum.
Yes, I know NOW, I can't be reactive, emotional, insecure, I did not know this when I first met her. I never had a woman like this. Most of my women have been compliant, submissive even, it was easy. Not with this one, she seems like a man sometimes in her behaviour. She is fantastically strong-willed, says no as a matter of principle, even if she will do it she'll first say 'no'. Very street smart, clever and after twenty years of being a lawyer I never met a better negotiator.
And btw, it's easy to say 'don't be insecure'. I understand the logic. But in real life, when you're apart I do feel insecure sometimes, especially because I know she wrote to her exes before and she must get hit up constantly by guys, she's a bit of a liar and always out for her advantage. When we're together it's a little different, because I can see what she's doing mostly. But even then I feel I should be installing software to monitor her iphone because she's shown in the past that she'd write to her exes in my apartment when I'm not there. All the while I was trying to show her a great time, taking her to beautiful beaches and we had a fantastic time being together all day. Then I picked up her phone and saw for weeks she was writing to her ex. Nothing flirty, just saying her father died, and how his (the ex's) reply meant a lot to her (he said he was in India and about to light a candle, the hypocritical cunt). She may not fully trust me, but I don't fully trust her either.
I pm'ed you.