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To every dude who complains about being an American citizen (rant)
#7

To every dude who complains about being an American citizen (rant)

It's a double-edged sword.

My problem is not the "freedoms" (I use that term loosely) that we enjoy, but society itself. Stereotypes are great, because they're so often true. I am probably one of the least politically correct people you will ever meet, so if you didn't know that before now, well anyway...

American Men are generally workaholics and alcoholics with tempers the size of Texas... obsessed with sports, women, and generally anything else that leads to them making more money. They tend to ignore the simpler things and get so tied up in their own mundane lives that before they know it they're 40, fat, balding, and chained for life to a succubus wife... complete with two selfish poop machines, a family dog, and a houses and cars they can't afford. Although completely maxed out on debt... they still find a way to buy that shiny new 50" plasma TV.

American Women are some of the biggest manipulating schemers and liars that I have ever met. They never say what they mean. There's nothing worse than a "true" American girl... even Osama Bin Laden wouldn't 70 of our virgins in hell. Not only do our women spend more time and money idolizing and imitating celebrities than any other country on earth, they do it with pride. Now go get your hair and nails "did." Then make me a sandwich.

Two words, "Rumor Mill." You can't trust a woman with a secret because the second you turn your back she'll be texting 9 of her "besties." Why are our women so obsessed with other people? You don't see their counterparts in most other countries so tied up in other peoples lives. Maybe it's because they know they'll never become that person themselves. Here in America, we have some of the biggest materialistic, narcissistic, ego-maniacal princesses on earth who would rather sit around and talk about Oprah or Britney Spears all day than oh I don't know, actually be useful. And that's when they're not banging half the town behind your back.

Either way, it's a sad, sad time to be living in America. Sure, the plethora of pussy is great... and it's nice to not have to walk 50 miles to fetch water (I get it) but what with obesity, feminism, and governmental control on the rise, I'm getting the fuck out of here as soon as I have the means to do it right. I won't be a willing prisoner in my own country. [Image: rant.gif]

Vice-Captain - #TeamWaitAndSee
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