Quote: (12-27-2016 11:51 PM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:
My entire experience of TTRPGs was the art of rounding up a half a dozen quasi-autistic and/or borderline personality disorder types and attempting to herd them through an interactive story with about the same success as you'd have herding cats through a cucumber farm.
That's an amazingly-accurate description of my experiences watching my friend's little brother play it with his friends.
One time, waiting for it to be late enough for us to go out, my mate and I and our dates tried playing it with them, thinking it might be funny. (We were a worldly fifteen, and believed ourselves far too old for this kid's shit).
It was... an experience. We were a group of adventurers, arriving at an Inn in a strange town for information looking for some Evil Dungeon or something.
Things went south when we were told there was a barmaid behind the counter. The nerds wanted a description of her and got back "She's like the chick in 'Weird Science' but with bigger norks". I vaguely remember some stat or skill that described how fuckable you were to others that involved rolling dice, so the game stopped for about ten minutes as I heard a bunch of spotty-twelve year old autistic virgins attempt to run game on 'her' - her being the nerd running the game - and roll the dice.
They all failed, but then my mate asked for the dice. When I looked at him, he shrugged and said "Never let a chance go buy mate."
Eventually, we got the hell out of the Inn and entered an enchanted forest, only for me to discover what girls find interesting about adventuring: oohing over the cute squirrels running around; one deciding to tame the squirrels through magic; her then deciding it to magic up a little hat and boots for it, described in excruciating detail; her then deciding that it needed a name - Sammy De Squirrel; and then asking if it could be trained to sing with magic. All of this took seemingly-endless discussion and much rolling of dice.
That was when the other girl decided she wanted a Pet Magic Singing Squirrel of her own, and with her being 'Kit The Warrior Woman', the other girl with the magic powers used up all her alloted magic creating another fucking girl squirrel called Madonna, magic that we were supposed to need to fight the expected eventual monsters, whereever they were.
That's when we were approached by wood nymphs with a mysterious tale to tell... after which all the nerds tried, in order, to get off with them.
That's when the guy running the game started getting pissed off and pulled out a different book called 'The Lost Tomb of Horrors' to much outrage from the nerdlings, who said it was the 'worst thing ever'. (A few years later, one of the nerds used this as shorthand to describe his girlfriend's apparently-very sloppy vagina - beggars can't be choosers I guess - so the title stuck with me).
We came to a door, managed to get it open, and entered the first room of the dungeon. Sammy D. Squirrel was sent up to a keyhole to see if he could put his little Squirrel Hands through to jostle a key loose, only to get shiskabobbed through the head in gory detail. Just as I was thinking "You know, I'm starting to like this game," we were all killed within the space of a minute as traps started going off everywhere.
"Good," the guy running the game said, packing his books up. "Let's go get a video."
That was my first and last experiencing playing 'Dungeons and Dragons'. From what I've seen recently, I get the feeling that nothing much has changed - just that minutely-described dysfunctional sexuality has replaced personalised-squirrels.
OP: you want children's board games - preferably nostalgia-inducing ones - and alcohol. They're low investment, so it's easy to talk. What was around when you and your friends were young?