Quote: (07-10-2012 08:39 AM)xsplat Wrote:
Quote: (07-09-2012 09:13 PM)HiFlo Wrote:Oh, you're of the talking cure school of thought.
...You have to stress to her that "I don't read minds - I can't tell what you're thinking, you have to fucking tell me in WORDS."
I've been burned in the past b/c chicks think I'm a fucking mind reader and that I should miraculously just 'know' when there's an issue she has a problem with. Sorry babe, I can't read minds. It's important that she know you're willing to communicate in a calm matter to make things work. And even more important than she knows is that she actually does talk to you about this shit.
Girls don't pull that "nothings the matter" or "you KNOW what is the matter" bullshit because they think men can read minds. They are being deliberately frustrating. They are completely clued in to the fact that we can't read their minds. It's a power play. They are trying to get the guy to be subservient and to beg her to open up and give him the real honest information, because really, she can trust him.
Fuck that. You don't have to communicate AT ALL under those circumstances.
Man: "What's wrong? You're being bitchy."
Girl: "Oh, nothing."
Man: "Good. Leave me alone then, I'm busy right now".
Communication is over-rated. The medium is the message. Either she will get over herself and deal with it, or she won't. Either way, it's not your problem unless you make it your problem.
You want to show the woman who is boss? Stop buying her drama.
LOL, you very well may right. It's a lot easier (and, yes, even more beta) to want to communicate rather than send her packing when she's pissing off. I guess that goes with 'caring' for someone.
But in all reality, you're way probably works better on lizards these days because it gives them the drama they want. I haven't been able to pull it off personally cause I get bogged down with the fear of her leaving, but that's something we all have to do on our own levels I guess.