[Slim Shady]

Not only have I never had a girlfriend, I have never really even had a steady "slampiece". Maybe just one girl that I had sex with a bunch of times. For the longest time since losing my virginity, I had never hooked up with the same girl twice. I simply got bored. Partying came first, and girls kind of were just produced out of it.

I am a lot younger than you, however.

Every once in a while, maybe every 6 months or so, I'll look back on my life and see that it has been crazy and out of control - with the binge drinking, blackouts, and sloppy hookups, and I'll think I could and should settle down for a bit with a cute 7 who may be a bit homey but will keep me [mainly the drinking and sex drive] in check.

However, every time I have actively though I should wife up a girl for a bit, I don't even get lays and sloppy sex. I realize that I have subconsciously started treating girls nicer, and maybe that also gives off a needier vibe. So I go back to my hedonistic and debaucherous ways, till a run in with the cops forces me to stay in and stay sober for a while, with only monster cock porn to alleviate my pain, regret, and self loathing.

Then the cycle starts all over again.