[polar]

(02-20-2017 03:04 PM)Jetset Wrote:  

(02-20-2017 01:20 AM)polar Wrote:  

How to avoid being placed in the boyfriend bucket? Don't be afraid to escalate and be bold, not pushy or needy, with making moves. If at first you fail, try again five minutes later. Escalate physically, deny verbally. ("who has a hand up your dress, me? Never, I'm a gentleman. I don't kiss until marriage")

I'm pretty sure I've always succeeded with, literally, the opposite: I'm well-mannered, but I am not a gentleman at heart at all, and the shameful things I'm going to do to you are a vacation from all that. It seemed to work especially well with cougars/MILFs who found their dating routine dull and wanted to feel adventurous.

I can sense that this is wisdom, though, I'm more thoughtful about ASD and related concepts from my reading here, and my approach probably limited me to a small cross-section of women. I want to understand it better. Can you help illustrate how we use it?

My vibe is different than yours. My target market is early 20s and I'm in mid, and I get pinned for boyfriend material, (which I should do more to discourage). A couple of my posts on escalation:

thread-57782...pid1378083

(09-01-2016 06:16 PM)polar Wrote:  

Pretending to be shy: rule #1: feign innocence. You can boldly escalate physically so long as you deny it and act shy verbally. In other words, blame her for being a temptress and a bad influence as your hands wander south.

Escalate physically or verbally, but you can't do both until you're in a location where you can seal the deal. In fact, verbalizing it makes it real and she's more likely to clam up with ASD. On the contrary, I've found that denying the physical escalation works almost like a cheat code, she's not as likely to tell you off if the rules of the game you're playing are that "it's her fault".