Quote: (02-05-2017 01:02 PM)Vaun Wrote:
random thoughts;
I don't buy this notion that rich guys are mostly beta's. Most wealthy men worked their way up from nothing, and have some of the thickest game imaginable, to get them where they are in life. And thats anyone making six figures or above. The sons of immigrants, or from humble beginnings, coming up from no money, no family or no support at home. Most of these guys could get rich again if they became broke. Choosing wrong most likely comes from hubris, an oversized ego, laziness, caring about appearances, or from generally not giving a fuck.
Hank - Thanks for sharing. I wouldn't sweat it. Fuck her.
I've played both sides of this debate. When I grew up, my friends and I ran "pimp" game. We grew up in a place(the hood), where this was big, and read a lot of Iceberg Slim, Donald Goines, etc. We had a crew of girls that bought us everything, drove us everywhere, we stayed at and partied at their houses, ate their food. The girls took care of us. I'm still friends with a lot of them. And that was my approach to women until I got married. I didnt spend anything. I was totally discrete and "mysterious" about who I was, never talked about myself, never went to my place, never disclosed my whereabouts, etc etc. That was the 90's and 2000's.
This is how I approached women, and my approach in general. It worked every time. I have steadily had a GF/LTR/Wife for the last 25 years. Except for one 6 month dry spell.
Being an older guy changes it. You want to show off. You want to get lazy, spending money is the lazy approach. In my opinion its more about who you know, than what you spend. Access at these parties/events/clubs for me is about seeing friends, etc, than dropping money just to go out for fun. I can turn women off easily by talking about myself. It's lazy and somewhere deep down, its your ego talking. Over time the women become bitchy, demanding, shit testing and fat.
In my last LTR, when it went south, I started spending. This was like throwing gasoline on it. Multiple trips, fancy dinners, gifts, flowers, etc. This happened last year. After all of my knowledge with game, this is what I defaulted to, to save it. It was lazy. And driven by my ego. It started off just with what I explained above; total mystery about who I was, didn't go to my place in 4 months of regularly banging, didn't tell her anything about me at all. Then when it went south, I opened up my mouth, and my wallet, and it went to shit.
Long story; all women want the mystery and the intrigue. Spending money and presenting yourself how your ego wants to be seen, absolutely kills that. And by killing her intrigue, you kill her attraction. I dont care how much money you have. From experience you can date 8's without spending money, but with game and a little mystery. I'd love to hear a story about or a blog post about a rich guy that doesn't need to spend a dime on a woman. To me thats aspirational, not obvious.
I agree, this notion that guys with money are beta chumps who can only get laid by spending money is just dumb and I think comes from a place of envy. Do you need money to get pussy? Of course not, lots of chicks will fuck broke ass dudes because they got tingled by them. Guys in college get laid all the time and they're mostly broke. I never had trouble meeting hot women when I was young and broke. Now, being an older guy with some money who likes and wants to date girls in their 20s, I will say that having money helps in leveraging your position with them better especially in the beginning when you're trying to secure their interest. That's probably due to the fact that I'm fighting against the stigma of older guys dating younger women. Having that additional lure of a nice lifestyle can help close the deal with these girls.
But, as Vaun has so explicitly pointed out, in any relationship, you have to control the frame of it. If you lose control of your frame and let her start dictating the terms of the relationship, then it doesn't matter how much money you blow, you're just on borrowed time, time your borrowing with money. So for me, I think the money is a good enticement and helps to cut through a lot of bs in the beginning but the rules of engagement still apply as time goes on. All the money you've spent on her in the past doesn't mean jack for how she will treat you today and tomorrow. Problem I have is that a lot of dudes want to hamster about how having money or having a jacked body have nothing to do with getting chicks when in reality the more you have going for you, the more success you're going to have with women.