Quote: (03-02-2017 10:52 PM)Vaun Wrote:
It was flirty and sexual. No emotional stuff. Shes late 20's, successful, very hot, very American. I am an older guy so none of the shoegazing millennial emo weirdness. I was trying to get in her pants the whole time and it was apparent. Maybe I wasnt aggro enough.
Ah yeah, better context now.
Late 20s? How close was the wall? It's possible she's starting to go into 'lockdown' mode and playing a bit harder to get, or all this flirting was hinting at a SA deal.
If the age gap was large, say 15-20 years, it's possible she was after 'Daddy', where you're more direct and forceful and experienced enough to know where to take her for a good time. The difference here is her fantasy of being seduced by wisdom and experience, especially if she'd had attention from useless men her own age. I prefer to say "We're going out..." and "X is a great place, be sure to dress up" rather than ask her
if and
where she wants to meet, because most women have a hard time making a firm decision on anything, though I'm pleased when they volunteer a good location.
Still, I can only guess if the attraction was strong for her or not. If you get into this situation again with a younger woman, I tend to play up the age difference to steer it to physical rather than online contact after a couple of texting sessions. Something like: "I don't always have my phone handy - it's not attached to my hand the way it is for you younger kids, and I'm a damn busy fella. It'd be more fun to continue this in person, so hit me up when you're ready to go out and I'll schedule some time."
If you're going to cut her off anyway, it doesn't matter if she never does message because all she wanted from you was attention, but you also don't look like you're butthurt due to her refusal to meet during the last couple of sessions. If she's interested, she'll chase. Your masculinity power is your non-reactivity to your Id being frustrated by her behaviour.
No point burning bridges, mate. Women are incredibly-flighty by nature, and their moods and decisions can change in the space of seconds.
----
Just on non-reactivity: I was talking to my mate Bill about how girls have a tendency towards passive-aggression to get their way, particularly when they're fishing to find out how you feel about them. I mentioned I sometimes mirror it back at them to piss them off, and he said "I just say 'Don't spoil it.'"
"It?"
"Whatever moment we're in, that's what they're spoiling. Seems to work."
So, last night I went out with this girl with the stated understanding at the beginning that I'm passing through town for the night, and was highly-unlikely to ever be out this way again.
Later, we're having drinks and she started in with trying to make
something more of this via... sigh... passive-aggression. "...I know you probably do this with lots of girls..."
I shook my head slightly, looking her in the eye. "Don't." Not angry, or cross in tone. Just firm and direct. Fatherly-patient:
I know what you're doing little girl, behave yourself.
She stopped, then swerved onto another topic.
I meant to say, "Don't spoil it," but that was all that came out.
It was a damn good night after that. Weird to think it only took one word. I'll try it out again if that starts and see if it is as powerful on different women.