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Think you found wife material - how to know it's not an act?
05-30-2015, 11:31 AM
Let's say you're in an LTR and she does and says all the right things. Takes care of you as a man, respects you, does not give you any shit, isn't spoiled and comes from a strong traditional nuclear family. You strongly believe her notch count is low to none.
You're seriously considering marrying her. But before you pop the question or tie the knot, how do you know or determine that it's not all an act? That she isn't doing the dishes and folding your clothes, only to stop doing all those things once you get hitched?
Background to why I'm asking:
I was at a family reunion last night and we had a pow-wow about my marriage and divorce. The women in my family were surprisingly red-pill about it, for lack of better description.
When you guys and I talked about my ex-wife in my divorce thread, y'all were too nice compared to what my female family members said. Some of the things they said were:
Sister in law: "She's evil and knows how to manipulate a man with puppy dog eyes."
33 y/o female cousin 1: "She had me fooled, too. It was all an act from day 1."
42 y/o female cousin 2: "You need to date as many women as you can so you know who is good and who is not. Don't marry in the next 5 years, at the very least."
Sister: "I agree, focus on yourself, be selfish, and don't sacrifice any of your time and money or happiness for a woman."
33 y/o female cousin 1: "She really treated you like that? Next time a woman does that shit, tell her to piss off!"
82 year old Aunt: "Don't ever marry an American girl!" (and everyone bust out laughing)
And then I posed this question: "how do I know if a good girl is not just acting?"
No one had an answer.
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Think you found wife material - how to know it's not an act?
05-30-2015, 11:35 AM
If you're worried about it, the easiest thing to do is not get married.
Edit: sister and cousin 2 have the best advice.
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Think you found wife material - how to know it's not an act?
05-30-2015, 11:41 AM
It's a good move to let the women of your family evaluate your future wife.
It's the only time a woman is looking out for your best interest (in part). I'm sure they are also testing her out for compatibility with themselves. Last thing they want is another insufferable cunt to deal with in the family.
Team Nachos
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Think you found wife material - how to know it's not an act?
05-30-2015, 11:56 AM
Look at the books on her bookshelf and her browser history.
Live with her for a while, probably over a year.
Make sure she knows if it's an act or if she crosses a red line, you'll divorce her very quickly.
Before you even start looking for Mrs. CleanSlate, make a list of the things you need, want, would tolerate, and would not tolerate.
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Think you found wife material - how to know it's not an act?
05-30-2015, 12:40 PM
Patrice O'Neal said that you need to teach your girl how to love you and take care of you.
That's all I got. So if she's amenable to leadership and your lessons, you're more likely to have the thing you want.
WIA
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Think you found wife material - how to know it's not an act?
05-30-2015, 12:46 PM
Three weeks after compiling "Post-Divorce Philippines Sex Spree" we get "thinking about getting married again"?
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Think you found wife material - how to know it's not an act?
05-30-2015, 12:58 PM
Not thinking about getting married anytime soon, but this was a question that came up during the family talk. I figured I'd ask here and see what y'all had to say.
I'm going to follow my cousin and sisters advice on staying single for at least 5 years minimum. But during that time I want to learn all I can about how to determine who is good wife material, and not just avoid what these lessons have to offer the entire time, just in case that information may prove useful 5-10 years from now.
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Think you found wife material - how to know it's not an act?
05-30-2015, 01:10 PM
Quote: (05-30-2015 12:40 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:
Patrice O'Neal said that you need to teach your girl how to love you and take care of you.
That's all I got. So if she's amenable to leadership and your lessons, you're more likely to have the thing you want.
WIA
I agree with this, insane devotion is an excellent baseline. I dated one young girl that over the course of about 8 months had learned all of the music I liked, what food I liked, started reading comic books I liked. She would have followed me to the ends of the earth or any cult of my choosing.
Its a fine line between devotion and obsession...and the division is mostly just a social awareness
Why do the heathen rage and the people imagine a vain thing? Psalm 2:1 KJV
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Think you found wife material - how to know it's not an act?
05-30-2015, 01:41 PM
My last LTR was marriage material. There was one pivotal moment when I knew it could never be an act. We spontaneously drove upstate in the late Fall, but didn't book a hotel room beforehand. I thought it wouldn't be an issue, however this weekend was alumni weekend for all the colleges in the area and all the hotels were booked solid for a 100 mile radius.
We slept in the car in the freezing cold on a side street. She didn't complain once, in fact it was no big deal for her. If anything I was the grumpy one. She never, ever complained or wanted it her way. It was always, "Yes, mi amor", with a smile.
As a couple put yourselves in stressful situations and see how she reacts to suffering, to doing without, to not having it the way she expected. Take a long trip together and setup mini-disasters along the way. You don't even need to set them up really, life always throws them at you anyways.
Why I didn't marry her is another story, but I think you should only get married if you can't imagine wanting to live your life without them.
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Think you found wife material - how to know it's not an act?
05-30-2015, 02:00 PM
Go slow. The longer you observe, the harder it is for her fake.
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Think you found wife material - how to know it's not an act?
05-30-2015, 02:54 PM
Quote: (05-30-2015 01:41 PM)Onto Wrote:
My last LTR was marriage material. There was one pivotal moment when I knew it could never be an act. We spontaneously drove upstate in the late Fall, but didn't book a hotel room beforehand. I thought it wouldn't be an issue, however this weekend was alumni weekend for all the colleges in the area and all the hotels were booked solid for a 100 mile radius.
We slept in the car in the freezing cold on a side street. She didn't complain once, in fact it was no big deal for her. If anything I was the grumpy one. She never, ever complained or wanted it her way. It was always, "Yes, mi amor", with a smile.
As a couple put yourselves in stressful situations and see how she reacts to suffering, to doing without, to not having it the way she expected. Take a long trip together and setup mini-disasters along the way. You don't even need to set them up really, life always throws them at you anyways.
Why I didn't marry her is another story, but I think you should only get married if you can't imagine wanting to live your life without them.
Damn. She sounded like she was pretty legit. Must have been doing nuts to make you not stick around.
I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.
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Think you found wife material - how to know it's not an act?
05-30-2015, 03:19 PM
"Im going to take a lesson from my failed marriage and stay single for at least 5 years"
"Im going to take a lesson from my stint in rehab and stay sober for at least 5 years"
"Im going to take a lesson from Napoleon and stay out of Russia for at least 5 years"
"Im going to take a lesson from my jail sentence and stay out of jail for at least 5 years"
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Think you found wife material - how to know it's not an act?
05-30-2015, 03:51 PM
Onto, that makes sense. I actually mistyped that post. I meant to say, "Something nuts must have happened." Didn't mean to imply that she did anything crazy. Sometimes circumstances are just really beyond a man's grasp.
I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.
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Think you found wife material - how to know it's not an act?
05-30-2015, 04:54 PM
The best indicator is probably her own family rather than necessarily herself. See how her mum and her dad are in their relationship, what are their professions, has her sister got married what is she doing - is she divorced, has she decided to quit work and play with her fucking fingers while her man goes to work all day, how much money do they have. Many women out there are pure fucking leaches on society and I would personally find it very hard to marry a woman with a low income and not from a wealthy family. Yes sure in the good old days these probably used to be the best and most modest women for marriage, not anymore.
It's sad to say but it's best to assume every woman has dollar signs in her eyes unless it's clear from her family background, their relationships, her education, her profession that it may not be the case. Even then she could be pulling wool over your eyes.
She should be proving that to you not the other way round, afterall many women's livelihoods are based around marrying someone, men barely benefit from it, if at all.
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Think you found wife material - how to know it's not an act?
05-30-2015, 05:27 PM
Strongly agree with Onto. It is essential to put them into stressful situations where things are not roses. Can she sacrifice for you? There are many other things raised above, but I believe this one is not optional.
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Think you found wife material - how to know it's not an act?
05-30-2015, 10:04 PM
I was reading "The Millionaire Mind" today and one of the chapters explains how choosing the right spouse is crucial if one wants to become a millionaire. Interestingly, the vast majority of millionaires are married (presumably happily) to the same spouse for a long time, usually for life. Most millionaires are married, not single or divorced.
The theme that occurred over and over when Millionaires were asked about their spouses and how their spouses contributed to their happiness and, indeed, financial success were that their spouses were:
Honest, Responsible, Loving, Capable and Supportive.
Those four themes occurred over and over amongst the millionaires interviewed.
There was one story about a very successful man who had been happily dating a woman for some time. They got along well, had similar interests, were attracted to each other and by all accounts she seemed a good, honest woman. He had intentions of marrying her. Then, he found out, due to a botched call from a credit company, that she was $ 35,000 in debt with student loans and had not been making any payments on them.
When he confronted her with this she hemmed and hawed at first saying it was no big deal. When he pressed her, she confessed that because she knew how wealthy and successful he was, she was planning on getting him to pay off the loans once they were married. She was going to keep the fact that she had all this debt under wraps under they were hitched. Disgusted by this feeling of dishonesty and betrayal he dumped her. Now single, he vows to vet any woman he is considering for marriage. The man said he would probably also want to do a credit check on any potential spouse in the future and he would be happy to show her his income statements and credit history as well.
So, to sum it up look for a girl who's : Honest, Responsible, Loving, Capable and Supportive. Oh yeah, and who you're attracted to and who is still years away from the wall and who is hopefully not whored out. Much tougher to do here in the West than anytime in history but, hopefully for the diligent and traditional minded man, still doable.
- One planet orbiting a star. Billions of stars in the galaxy. Billions of galaxies in the universe. Approach.
#BallsWin