Im seeing a lot of cute girls on the regular, parties, classes, social events and so on.

A lot of them know each other.

A lot of emphasis on game is 'go for the lay as fast as possible' and so on. But in my case that is doable in the nightlife but not during those social events/classes/ short meetups with girls I know in other classes. Even when I see them at social events logistics don't really work well always (they planned in advance other events, going too fast for two at the same time that know one another etc.)

How would you do this to not appear too 'gamey', because I have the feeling that patience is sometimes needed in situations like these, what are your opinions on the matter?

I want to gradually build attraction over time and not go too pushy for (several) girls that know one another, and avoid cases such as 'if it fails with one the others don't want anymore'

I honestly think this part of game is not written about much!

That's a one way ticket to the friend zone.

A basic tenet of Game is that it is not possible to gradually build up attraction over a time frame of days or weeks. If you are meeting women in a social setting for the first time, it is important to strike fast and decisively--get numbers and arrange dates right away. You will never be more attractive to the women than on your first meeting--rather, your attractiveness in their eyes can only depreciate each day after that.

Quote: (03-11-2015 09:23 AM)Col. Tigh Wrote:  

A basic tenet of Game is that it is not possible to gradually build up attraction over a time frame of days or weeks. If you are meeting women in a social setting for the first time, it is important to strike fast and decisively--get numbers and arrange dates right away. You will never be more attractive to the women than on your first meeting--rather, your attractiveness in their eyes can only depreciate each day after that.

I don't know man.
1) Pushing for dates always the best way?
2) I have seen much cases of natural friends of me who 'built up attraction gradually over time', not necessarily ending up in the friendzone right away, but just doing the whole process slower
3) If I ask girls that know one another all on dates they will talk.

From Book of Pook:

Lesson Four
A man found himself in the company of lovely ladies. Alas, also in company were several men of high esteem. They were more handsome. They had more money. They had more charm. They were better in every way.

But this man knew he had the goods too, if not in such a polished way. “I will be patient and let the cards fall where they may.” Notice that this was NOT inaction or an abrupt slowness. He did not let the lovely ladies’ attention get the best of him nor the success or failures of his competition.
The lovely ladies would cry, “Come here you!” and the other guys would rush to them. When they did it to the man, though, he just laughed, replied, AND WENT ON HIS WAY.
The other guys, more handsome, more beautiful, lost the girls because they could not hold back their desire for a girlfriend. The patient man ended up with the girls.
“I now understand,” he smiled with both girls on his arms.
“Patience is the refined sense of confidence.”
“But Pook!” cried the young man. “How can patience be confidence? Isn’t confidence courage? Isn’t confidence action? How is patience courageous or action?”
“Oh foolish boy!” and Pook slapped him. “Now let us summon up a Don Juan and observe his mannerisms.”
In a fountain of light descended a Don Juan.
“Hear me, oh Don Juan! There are women around and other men are hitting on them! What is your reaction?”
The Don Juan just shrugged his shoulders and laughed.
“What!” cried the young man. “These other guys are going to take his women! How can he be so laid-back?”
“He is laid back because he knows how great a catch he is and that getting women is easy. He knows he is the Prince.”
“But the women...”
“...are not significant! The focus must be on you! The guys that can get almost any women are not scared or nervous that other guys are hitting on girls. He knows things the other guys never will. In fact, he might let them have free reign to weed out the desperate and stupid chicks from the smart and picky ones. As with muscles, it is the strong guys that know they are capable who are quiet and patient. It is the noisy guys that lack the skills. It is the large dogs that are quieter while the small dogs make up for their size with their obnoxious bark. It is the patient ones that control the world; the impatient ones are controlled by it!


What is the implication of this passage of Book of Pook?

This is a legitimate conundrum. Here's the solution; something I have observed naturals do just in the course of being themselves.

Just be the fun and flirty guy in your social circles. Be a social butterfly, going from girl to girl, flirting and teasing them and then move on to the next one. When girls see others girls responding positively to you, it increases your attractiveness.We call that preselection.

The most powerful move is to be seen by the girls with another girl (or much better multiple girls) repeatedly. The girl should be as attractive as possible and should be from outside your social circles, and it should be clear you two are sexually involved.

When you behave this way, one or more of the girls in your circle will begin to make it clear she is interested in you in the way girls do. Do the usual game and try to bang her. Guys can bang multiple girls in the same social group and in fact this is the way this commonly plays out. Most of the attractive girls in a group are banging the same 15% of less of guys.

redacted

Quote: (03-11-2015 10:22 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

I loved clubbing at the time. So I broke a cardinal rule of the game. I started bringing sand to the beach. Chicks I hadn't banged yet, chicks that were kind of on the fence, I'd bring them out.

Ugh. It hurt reading that. I've been there. It's an easy trap to fall into. This situation falls under "The promise of pussy". You think you have it in the bag but girls just string you along the whole time.

WIA, what do you mean you broke a cardinal rule? As in, by taking girls out you hadn't banged yet to a club?

Maybe something like that is an introductory lesson, such as invite her back to your apartment with the pretext of doing something else. But when you start to get better, especially your perception, you'll find situations where you don't need to say there's good music back at your pad to listen to. A mere "let's go" is enough.

Doesn't work like this, you're either attractive or not. It is 'rapport' that can build up slowly with time, but ultimately the best tactic is to come into the periphery of a social group, get contacts, and meet them outside the group one-on-one. Guys on the inside are in the 'friend zone' or already boyfriends with one of the girls, and guys on the outside won't meet the girls. It's the guys passing through the periphery that win.

If they are interested, girls give you a 'window' in which to make your move.
Guys make the mistake of:
1. Waiting at a window that never opened and never will. AKA 'friendzone', and quite common.
2. Trying to get through the window before it opens. I.e. 'too pushy', not that common, perhaps when they're drunk.
3. Not going through the window when it opens, only to see it close. Also common, especially with anxious or inexperienced guys.

Well Mystery says 7 hours. From your experiences is that about right?

Quote: (03-11-2015 11:06 AM)Nascimento Wrote:  

WIA, what do you mean you broke a cardinal rule? As in, by taking girls out you hadn't banged yet to a club?

Maybe something like that is an introductory lesson, such as invite her back to your apartment with the pretext of doing something else. But when you start to get better, especially your perception, you'll find situations where you don't need to say there's good music back at your pad to listen to. A mere "let's go" is enough.

I'm not sure I understand the 2nd paragraph at all.

But cardinal rule is that you don't take a chick to the club
- you'll get distracted (sand to the beach)
- you might poison the well (she'll start coming even when you're not banging - having her as a visual reminder of a chick you didn't fuck is one of those annoying things in the game. I'm more mad about chicks that I didn't bang, than happy about chicks I did bang sometimes)
- she might get got at by better players

All's fair when you haven't banged, bitch will be like "we came as friends".

WIA

In a social circle you go for the 'waterfall effect' - sleep with the hottest girls first and work your way down.

Don't just rush in a fuck the first girl but work the group, create good overall value and hook up with the hottest girl you can when the time is right. Keep it fun and discreet. Then after that work your way down. Once you have one of the main 'cool' girls the rest will fall easy.

In fact I would just work on building value within the group and being one of the main guys who organize stuff and who everybody knows. The girls will come naturally after that.

I did a lot of social circle game in Uni and got 15+ girls from one group alone while still keeping things sweet.

Don't do obvious direct game, always be fun and charming (you can always game them again if it isn't quite right that particular night)

Be the leader (or one of them) for drinking nights, events, house parties, trips away etc.

Get to know everyone (guys and girls), be able to walk through the room and have everyone want to talk to you

Always be cool with the girls and never do any crazy game stuff, be discreet and don't talk about it hook ups other guys or girls, on the flip side try be the guy that people come to talk about stuff with. Build trust and good connections and emotions with people.

Quote: (03-11-2015 09:11 AM)mastauser Wrote:  

Im seeing a lot of cute girls on the regular, parties, classes, social events and so on.

A lot of them know each other.

A lot of emphasis on game is 'go for the lay as fast as possible' and so on. But in my case that is doable in the nightlife but not during those social events/classes/ short meetups with girls I know in other classes. Even when I see them at social events logistics don't really work well always (they planned in advance other events, going too fast for two at the same time that know one another etc.)

How would you do this to not appear too 'gamey', because I have the feeling that patience is sometimes needed in situations like these, what are your opinions on the matter?

I want to gradually build attraction over time and not go too pushy for (several) girls that know one another, and avoid cases such as 'if it fails with one the others don't want anymore'

I honestly think this part of game is not written about much!

I think you may have the wrong impression of "game"...like it's some kind of cowboy trying to lasso cattle that are running around. If you're in a social environment like classes, parties and school events then you have the opportunity to build a reputation for yourself like WIA did at the nightclub scene.

You also have the opportunity to create some amazing relationships with girls
beyond a one night "bang" scenario.

As a guy, you can sleep with lots of girls who know each other, just as long as you keep it between you and the girl(i.e protect her privacy) and you go after girls who aren't expecting to be exclusive...which is a cute joke in college anyway.

Stop thinking you have to slowly build attraction over time...that's not how the game is played in college.

You can be aggressive in a cool laid back way that girls love, appreciate
and respond to...I would build strong relationships with a solid group of girls
where they invite me to hang out(at birthday parties, friday nights etc)
and then relax and let their friends lasso me:-)

Quote: (03-11-2015 12:21 PM)Pride male Wrote:  

Well Mystery says 7 hours. From your experiences is that about right?

Typically

Open a chick @ 11:30
Occupy her time till 2:00

You can bounce to your spot from there.

P to V time, probably 4 hours?

I'd usually throw in an eatery between club and bedroom
- I was usually hungry
- later, it's because I didn't want to bang chicks just because they were "hot".

She had to be Hot and "cool". And a lot of the time even if I had sexual chemistry with a chick, she'd automatically feel like a burden when we would talk.

That's a personal thing. I've already had trophies. At the same time I've given up on loyalty. Now I look for a chick that I want to talk to, that i want to hear from. I want for her to be as interesting to me, as I am to her.

Probably why I now gravitate towards chicks from foreign lands.
They'll tell me new shit.
They'll give me a new perspective.

I've met one chick like that. But that sort of thing you can't uncover just by looking at a chick.

WIA

Quote: (03-11-2015 12:21 PM)Pride male Wrote:  

Well Mystery says 7 hours. From your experiences is that about right?

How did this 'Mystery' fool come up with this? Some take less than an hour, some take 4 dates, depending on the girl and the situation. There is no universal timer in their heads.

Great post Atlantic and WIA.

It is clear however that it requires a lot finesse to reap the benefits of girls in social circle. In Atlantic's post the girls are certainly not the goals, but one of the benefit that comes with it. Can you imagine doing all that work gaming everyone just to get some girls, and not even for immediate use?

One thing people dont mention often is that social circle game should only be complement to your game because you rarely bang fast. The drama involved sometimes can drive you insane and if you are not getting your sex needs met already bad game will leak out. Not to mention if you do fuck up you risk getting ostracized from your circle.

As for building attraction over time as a general concept, lol forget it. During that time she would have run into 100+ guys, some of which might have already slept with her. What makes you think she will even remember you?

Guys here are complaining it's hard to see girls again even after you bang them hard and fast. Slow game is not the way to go unless your SMV or status is above the clouds.

Quote:Quote:

Pride male Wrote:
Well Mystery says 7 hours. From your experiences is that about right?

Huh How did this 'Mystery' fool come up with this? Some take less than an hour, some take 4 dates, depending on the girl and the situation. There is no universal timer in their heads.

Mystery's time bridge is way outdated by now. 7 hour leaves way too many variables to fuck up your chance. Remember this is before the widespread use of smartphone.

Yeah, many of this replies are wrong.

It's been written about enough, but there's much more to female attraction to males than simply physical appearance and initial vibe. You can most certainly "convert" chicks who maybe weren't initially into you. Maybe they were always into you deep down, but you must tap into whatever latent desire they have for you. Sure, there's plenty of girls where it's just not gonna happen, but sometimes you can provoke attraction over time.

In social circles, classes, etc., you don't need to act like you just got out of a relationship and read Bang for the first time, hitting on every girl like a giddy schoolboy. You're not meeting these chicks at a bar. You don't need to go all gung-ho and pull out all the stops for a SNL. However, this doesn't mean immediately set a beta or un-intimidating frame.

The main thing you must be concerned with is momentum - Never Regress. By this I mean that you must be continually adding to the attraction. Always have the upper hand and slowly burn the attraction until it is a roaring boil. Then, you strike while it's hot.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

These may sound like empty words so here's a story. There's a smoking hot girl that I see occasionally, probably one of the hottest girls on my campus. In the fall, she wasn't feeling me. I talked to her at the bar, wasn't bringing her home. Got her number, she didn't want to get drinks. She was very short with me and never sought me out to say hi before I did. She flat out wasn't interested. I was just some dude in the social circle.

Months progress, and I'll see her at a bar. We'll passingly say "hi". Maybe next time a see her, I give her a big strong hug. Nothing serious. She progressively learns more about me. I'm in college on a full ride and I'm premed. That's cool but it's not gonna get me pussy. Next time, she'll see me with some sexy girl. Life still goes on. I start bartending and nonchalantly tell her and her friends to stop in some night, I serve them, throw her a free drink, act like the man. She's friendlier to me, slightly flirty, and my personality is truly shining. Still wasn't happening, but attraction was increasing. Progression.

Then, towards the end of the semester, I finally thought I had it. It was my buddy's 21st, so I say, "hey, go dance with birthday boy", because I was trying to get my friend laid on his birthday. She replies, "but him and I are friends". I look her strongly in the eye and say, "but we're not friends". Perfect line. Soon, we were making out and dancing at a bar. Later in the night, she bolted (think she was coked out). I try to continue this the next time at the bar, she shuts me down again. I think she regretted it. Real cocky girl.

Spring semester, by now she knows I'm "popular". She knows I have an extensive social circle. She knows I've got a great future. She knows I bartend. She knows I pull. I see her at a bar, she somewhat comes onto me, pretty intoxicated. I dismiss her and she sees that I've already got a girl for the night.

Then, I invite her and her friend to go day drinking two Saturdays ago with me and my boys. We have a blast, we go to my bar where I'm served like a king. Free drinks. Dressed like a boss suited up. The whole nine yards. She's impressed. In conversation, my friends tell her this story about me hitting a girl during sex recently (who asked for it), because they thought it was hilarious. She probably got wet right there. Around 7, we decide to go back to our respective dorms/apartments/houses to recoup for a bit. As soon as she gets home, we text, she comes over. Bang. In the rotation now.

Moral of the story, the chick wasn't into me at first. I got to progressively know her, building attraction as the months went by. I wasn't an overzealous child. I played it cool, demonstrated my value, and got the bang. Just keep momentum going and never fall into a friend zone frame.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Damn that was long. Too much adderall today. Back to studying biochem.

Quote: (03-11-2015 12:42 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Quote: (03-11-2015 11:06 AM)Nascimento Wrote:  

WIA, what do you mean you broke a cardinal rule? As in, by taking girls out you hadn't banged yet to a club?

Maybe something like that is an introductory lesson, such as invite her back to your apartment with the pretext of doing something else. But when you start to get better, especially your perception, you'll find situations where you don't need to say there's good music back at your pad to listen to. A mere "let's go" is enough.

I'm not sure I understand the 2nd paragraph at all.

But cardinal rule is that you don't take a chick to the club
- you'll get distracted (sand to the beach)
- you might poison the well (she'll start coming even when you're not banging - having her as a visual reminder of a chick you didn't fuck is one of those annoying things in the game. I'm more mad about chicks that I didn't bang, than happy about chicks I did bang sometimes)
- she might get got at by better players

All's fair when you haven't banged, bitch will be like "we came as friends".

WIA

Plus the flip side of it. If you manage to find a hot prospect you can't just dump the girl you brought to go bang the slut. She's not like a male wing that would be ok on his own if you decide to bounce.

Mystery's 7 hours is just an average. It can be less or it can be more. Coincides with the 3 date rule.

Not to sure about a woman knowing within 6 seconds if she wants to fuck you.

Take. Your. Time. While you're building your "gradual" attraction, guys like me will be crushing that ass with impunity. I hope you don't mind.

Don't worry: we'll upload the video to YouPorn so you can see what she likes.

Quote: (03-11-2015 01:31 PM)keysersoze Wrote:  

Yeah, many of this replies are wrong.

It's been written about enough, but there's much more to female attraction to males than simply physical appearance and initial vibe. You can most certainly "convert" chicks who maybe weren't initially into you. Maybe they were always into you deep down, but you must tap into whatever latent desire they have for you. Sure, there's plenty of girls where it's just not gonna happen, but sometimes you can provoke attraction over time.

In social circles, classes, etc., you don't need to act like you just got out of a relationship and read Bang for the first time, hitting on every girl like a giddy schoolboy. You're not meeting these chicks at a bar. You don't need to go all gung-ho and pull out all the stops for a SNL. However, this doesn't mean immediately set a beta or un-intimidating frame.

The main thing you must be concerned with is momentum - Never Regress. By this I mean that you must be continually adding to the attraction. Always have the upper hand and slowly burn the attraction until it is a roaring boil. Then, you strike while it's hot.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

These may sound like empty words so here's a story. There's a smoking hot girl that I see occasionally, probably one of the hottest girls on my campus. In the fall, she wasn't feeling me. I talked to her at the bar, wasn't bringing her home. Got her number, she didn't want to get drinks. She was very short with me and never sought me out to say hi before I did. She flat out wasn't interested. I was just some dude in the social circle.

Months progress, and I'll see her at a bar. We'll passingly say "hi". Maybe next time a see her, I give her a big strong hug. Nothing serious. She progressively learns more about me. I'm in college on a full ride and I'm premed. That's cool but it's not gonna get me pussy. Next time, she'll see me with some sexy girl. Life still goes on. I start bartending and nonchalantly tell her and her friends to stop in some night, I serve them, throw her a free drink, act like the man. She's friendlier to me, slightly flirty, and my personality is truly shining. Still wasn't happening, but attraction was increasing. Progression.

Then, towards the end of the semester, I finally thought I had it. It was my buddy's 21st, so I say, "hey, go dance with birthday boy", because I was trying to get my friend laid on his birthday. She replies, "but him and I are friends". I look her strongly in the eye and say, "but we're not friends". Perfect line. Soon, we were making out and dancing at a bar. Later in the night, she bolted (think she was coked out). I try to continue this the next time at the bar, she shuts me down again. I think she regretted it. Real cocky girl.

Spring semester, by now she knows I'm "popular". She knows I have an extensive social circle. She knows I've got a great future. She knows I bartend. She knows I pull. I see her at a bar, she somewhat comes onto me, pretty intoxicated. I dismiss her and she sees that I've already got a girl for the night.

Then, I invite her and her friend to go day drinking two Saturdays ago with me and my boys. We have a blast, we go to my bar where I'm served like a king. Free drinks. Dressed like a boss suited up. The whole nine yards. She's impressed. In conversation, my friends tell her this story about me hitting a girl during sex recently (who asked for it), because they thought it was hilarious. She probably got wet right there. Around 7, we decide to go back to our respective dorms/apartments/houses to recoup for a bit. As soon as she gets home, we text, she comes over. Bang. In the rotation now.

Moral of the story, the chick wasn't into me at first. I got to progressively know her, building attraction as the months went by. I wasn't an overzealous child. I played it cool, demonstrated my value, and got the bang. Just keep momentum going and never fall into a friend zone frame.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Damn that was long. Too much adderall today. Back to studying biochem.

Great story man. Personally I feel like those girls who need a ton of exposure time and proof before they start to like you are kind of slow when it comes to recognizing great guys.

I feel sorry for them because they often choose the wrong guys and have no idea
how to pursue the right type of guy...even though they might be a good girl.

It's fun the first time...however they really have no real (female) game...otherwise it wouldn't have taken her so long.

Attraction is 90%+ front-loaded.

The first 10 minutes you have with a girl (in a small group setting or isolated) are the most important. From 10 minutes to 2 hours is a close second.

After that the diminishing returns on attraction being able to be built are extreme.

If you haven't tried to isolate her (insta-date, phone number/meet) within the first 2 hours of spending time with her whether in social groups or not (even if this 2 hours is divided into 20 minute blocks over the span of weeks) it is all downhill.

Quote: (03-11-2015 01:20 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

Mystery's time bridge is way outdated by now. 7 hour leaves way too many variables to fuck up your chance. Remember this is before the widespread use of smartphone.

As I remember it, it's the reverse.
You wanted to take her through the process because the process was important.

You spend 7 hours with a chick
- she'll be sober
- she knows what she's getting into
- last minute resistance should be at a minimum. I

At an abstract level, especially in light of more modern Pick Up thinking, the Mystery Method is still really interesting.

The London Day Game guys and the Simple Pick Up guys aren't going to explain in detail how to capture the imagination of a group of 5-6 people.

Modern pick up is - single out one girl, separate her from the herd, and spit ya raps.

MM was/is find yourself an audience, grab their attention and hold it. Amaze them. Rise to the top of their group, if only for a moment - then single out one girl and get cozy.

If you're thinking beyond picking up girls, mastery of which method will be useful to you in a school context? Work context?

I have love for every method. There's something to be found in pretty much anything if you try to put yourself in the author's shoes.

Why did he say this?
What context will this make sense in?
Where else can I use this?

Most dudes just want to get their dicks wet. It's sad really. People that aren't critical thinkers are the norm, especially in the our little corner of the internet.

WIA

Quote: (03-11-2015 02:19 PM)Apollo21 Wrote:  

Great story man. Personally I feel like those girls who need a ton of exposure time and proof before they start to like you are kind of slow when it comes to recognizing great guys.

I feel sorry for them because they often choose the wrong guys and have no idea
how to pursue the right type of guy...even though they might be a good girl.

It's fun the first time...however they really have no real (female) game...otherwise it wouldn't have taken her so long.

Thanks. I have other stories of conversions like that. It's very possible.

This goes against manosphere dogma, but some girls really aren't hoes and actually need to be gamed over time. There's some that are DTF right when you meet them, and some that need convincing. It is what it is.

Heard a great quote saturday... We were with a girl picking up one of her friends, and before the we pickup this chick, my buddy asks the girl, "so is your friend a hoe?". The girl replied, "No, she doesn't drink enough". That one stuck with me for a bit.

Actual footage of this slow "game" vs. killer instinct.

By the time you go to the hoop, I'm already there.