Strict but loving dads raise their daughters with the kind of feminine values and attitudes that men find universally/biologically attractive.

I’m not talking about these dads:



These guys are fucking morons who think it’s “cool” and “hip” to let their daughters fuck anyone they want, as long as she’s ok with it. By this logic, he is okay with standing by as a douchebag HS senior fucks his freshman daughter rawdog because “it’s her body…she makes the rules.”

Fucking idiotic.

Now, on the reverse side, I want to talk about the dads who obviously care about their little girls but know when to put their foot down and back it up with action.

• Dads who will set the curfew at midnight and refuse to let her in the house past the agreed-upon time.
• Dads who are slow to anger but not afraid to show it when pushed/tested/disobeyed.
• Dads who treat their wives with love and respect but expect them to live up to his standards as well.
  

Because when you date their daughters, it’s very clear they understand the KEY component of what makes a man able to trust a woman: accountability. Hell, it’s what makes a man trust anyone, doesn’t matter if it’s a man or woman really.

But from what I’ve seen and experienced, what the good dads manage to do well is raise their daughters to understand what accountability actually is and feels like. Promised to be home by midnight after a night out at the clubs but it’s now 2am? Greet her at the door, but tell her she’s not allowed in because she failed to keep her promise. She’ll have to go sleep at a friend’s house. Guarantee she’ll understand what a promise means from now on.

With so many women riding the cock carousel these days, it’s difficult for men to ever be completely suspicion-free of their women. As well they should.

But when you meet a girl who was raised well (and by well, I’m really talking about how her Dad raised her because I think this is the most important contributing factor to how a girl learns to relate to men in her life), you feel like you can finally breath. You know…not have to keep playing retarded head games.

Because these girls will have grown up really understanding the following things:

1. The value of strong male leadership
2. What is accountability and why it is so important
3. The right/wrong way to resolve disputes (Honey Vs Vinegar Theory)
4. The distinct dichotomy between masculinity and femininity and, therefore, why men should be/act like men and women like women
5. That masculine women make her just as uncomfortable as feminine men
6. That she is at her happiest when she surrenders herself completely to a man
   

I’m writing this as a girl I’ve been seeing on and off for the past few weeks is passed out in my bed. She was describing her dad and that’s when it all made sense. I mean, my own dad was the same, and my older sister married very well to a guy much like my old man: tough, but loving and fair. She went through several unique phases (goth, punk, indie, you name it…) and the typical I-hate-my-dad phase, but through it all, my dad remained steadfast, refusing to budge on certain issues. Total damage: only 4 boyfriends in her life total, the last of whom she married.

So I’m having trouble sleeping right now because this flight attendant chick is making me rethink my lifestyle choice. I want to stay committed to the game, because there’s still a lot I need to work on, but her wonderful feminine-ness is bringing out all the dominant masculine traits in me, like the desire to care for, protect, lead, guide, and invest in this girl.

And I’m sitting here wondering why this is happening and I think it can be traced back to what she told me about her dad and how he raised her. I think if you get enough dads to raise their girls this way, maybe we can start a virtuous cycle of bringing more feminine women into this world instead of today’s masculine man-hating feminazis.

All of this goes for raising sons as well. Raise him to be a real man. Slap him upside the head if he displays any white-knighting/beta orbiter behavior. It's up to Dads to make things right in the world.

Not so sure about this. Ever heard of the paradox of the preacher's son? Strict families can sometimes create kids who yearn to shatter the mold. The preacher's son In my town was a miscreant despite his ostensibly strict moral upbringing.

A lot of the girls I know from strict families would just slut around as soon as they got out of their family's influence. You need all-out societal pressure to keep people's baser instincts in checK.

Sluts are sluts. It doesn't matter what kind of family they come from. Nice girls act like ladies in public. Slutty girls act like trash in public.
They all suck a cock behind closed doors though.

You've been seeing this girl for a few weeks and having these thoughts? Cool it down you're still in the honeymoon "impressing eachother" stage and will be for the next few months provided you two are still seeing eachother that long. You're eating up her stories and her efforts to charm you are working; don't get oneitis.

Good fathering today does not have the effect it had generations ago. Mostly because as a whole our society and culture is different and influences our youth differently. Granted there is something to be said for a girl who comes from a good family life, but unfortunately this day and age that's not enough.

Quote: (02-03-2015 11:00 AM)Fortis Wrote:  

Not so sure about this. Ever heard of the paradox of the preacher's son? Strict families can sometimes create kids who yearn to shatter the mold. The preacher's son In my town was a miscreant despite his ostensibly strict moral upbringing.

A lot of the girls I know from strict families would just slut around as soon as they got out of their family's influence. You need all-out societal pressure to keep people's baser instincts in checK.

Perfect. Was actually waiting for someone to bring this up because I noticed I didn't touch upon it in my main post.

I'm not familiar with the preacher's son paradox, but everybody knows about the slutty Catholic schoolgirl stereotype. The girl who was raised by strict religious parents, which is (presumably) the reason why she goes into full raging whore mode as soon as she gets some freedom.

I still think the key difference is how a father raises his little girl.

If a girl goes full on slut mode, then the father fucked it up. Maybe he got emotionally abusive, confusing his tactics for "tough love." Or he fell short on the "fair" part of the "tough but fair" equation by refusing to allow small shit that really didn't matter that much in the long run.

I say this because at the end of the day, a girl will always look to her father to learn how to deal with men. If her father is prone to going back on his word, or has frequent emotional outbursts, or cheats on his wife, or has absolutely no room to negotiate on things, etc... I would say he is fucking things up.

The daughter will understand deep down that "it's okay if I slip out at night to meet that cute guy on the football team because my dad will just yell at me and ground me for a month but that's it" or "the worst thing that happens if my dad catches me having unprotected sex is he'll call me a slut/whore/whatever and have another one of his forehead-vein-bursting screaming lectures but that's about it."

I'm convinced that these dads are doing something wrong, specifically when it comes to teaching their daughters the true meaning of accountability.

IMO family affects daughters' life choices to a certain extent; but she also gets influence from friends, acquintances, etc. but yes, a dad who shows her daughter male leadership, value of promises, etc. has more chances to raise a "good" daughter.

If you like focusing on this girl, do it, but stay in the game until you're 100% satisfied that you want her, and 100% satisfied that she is worth all those pussies that you will miss.

Girls from such fathers will often make good LTR material, while girls from more "hipster" and "relaxed" families are good FB material.

Lol if daughter doesn't come home by midnight make her sleep elsewhere?

That's a slut maker recipe!

Quote: (02-03-2015 11:14 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Good fathering today does not have the effect it had generations ago. Mostly because as a whole our society and culture is different and influences our youth differently. Granted there is something to be said for a girl who comes from a good family life, but unfortunately this day and age that's not enough.

No, this is wrong.

Good fathering is precisely what makes the difference in a girl during her formative years. It did 1000 years ago, and it still does today. Human nature doesn't change that fast.

Quote: (02-03-2015 11:28 AM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

Lol if daughter doesn't come home by midnight make her sleep elsewhere?

That's a slut maker recipe!

I totally understand why it would sound that way.

It was just an example.

I can see how it would work assuming she's still living at home with her parents and presumably in her high school years.

Quote: (02-03-2015 11:27 AM)GyopoPlayboy Wrote:  

If a girl goes full on slut mode, then the father fucked it up. Maybe he got emotionally abusive, confusing his tactics for "tough love." Or he fell short on the "fair" part of the "tough but fair" equation by refusing to allow small shit that really didn't matter that much in the long run.

I say this because at the end of the day, a girl will always look to her father to learn how to deal with men. If her father is prone to going back on his word, or has frequent emotional outbursts, or cheats on his wife, or has absolutely no room to negotiate on things, etc... I would say he is fucking things up.

I have kids and I know that this is where I fail all the time. Being level headed and non-reactive is so key. Parenting is one of the ultimate shit-tests, because the little fuckers are really good at shit testing, especially girls with dads.

For a practical framework, I really liked the "Love & Logic" course. There's a book and you can do seminars too, but they boil it down as empathy + consequences. They contrast the "helicopter" vs "drill sergeant" parents. Helicopter is always flying in to save the day and protect the kids from consequences, drill sergeant always reacts by blowing up and going Full Metal Jacket on the kid. I tend toward drill sergeant and that's something I'm always trying to work on.

The author made the point in the seminar (and probably the video) that you want your kids to learn their lesson when the consequences are small. If they learn to manage their money when they have a piggy bank, then they'll more likely to be OK with money when it's a credit card.

L&L emphasizes that the consequences shouldn't be consequences for YOU. A kid's bad choices should not make your life hard. By getting emotional and blowing up, you're just raising your own stress level. If you ground a kid and that means you have to stay home and babysit, that sucks for you. So plan your consequences so that they aren't consequences for you.

Of course, kids don't read these books and don't always follow the script. But it helps to have a plan, and L&L basically jives with what OP wrote.

My girlfriend is 35 weeks into pregnancy, we are expecting a daughter.
Reading this thread isn't very comforting lol

Girls who grow up without dads become sluts, boys who grow up without dads become criminals. Oldest story known to man. And they say a father's role is not so significant.....right.

OP makes some good points as it pertains to accountability and setting certain standards of behavior for her to aspire to find in her eventual mate

My daughter is HS age, and while I always feel she has been instilled with the tools to be successful this is an age where for the 1st time outside influences hold just as much if not more sway their her parents.

Rockhard we agree on the need for us as fathers to instill within them consequences while being empathetic and at the same time gradually increasing their responsibility and independence. I also think the need for consistency equally important. Meaning our reinforcing behaviors are consistent with our words, and they know what to expect when they fall short of expectations.

This is no handbook when it comes to raising girls, but instead of being a absolute taskmaster, I try to leave some room for her to explain her thinking, and reasons for her actions. First I need to better understand her thought process and secondly so that correction can take place if needed. This can't be achieved if she thinks I'm always judging her, or I carry myself like a distant, hard ass patriarch who's only purpose is to dole out punishment. It's important to keep the lines of communication open, especially when they become teenagers.

That "Love & Logic" sounds like a good read though

Quote:Quote:

The rules are:

1. Use your hands on my daughter and you'll lose them after.
2. You make her cry, I make you cry.
3. Safe sex is a myth. Anything you try will be hazardous to your health.
4. Bring her home late, there's no next date.
5. Only delivery men honk. Dates ring the doorbell. Once.
6. No complaining while you're waiting for her. If you're bored, change my oil.
7. If your pants hang off your hips, I'll gladly secure them with my staple gun.
8. Dates must be in crowded public places. You want romance? Read a book.

Quote: (02-03-2015 11:52 AM)RockHard Wrote:  

I have kids and I know that this is where I fail all the time. Being level headed and non-reactive is so key. Parenting is one of the ultimate shit-tests, because the little fuckers are really good at shit testing, especially girls with dads.

My sister shit tested my old man to holy hell and back. I still don't know where he found all his patience. Ran an office with almost 150 people under him and still says nothing stressed him out as much as all the shit his kids put him through.

But he said that with girls, the worst years for him was when my sis was in her teens. After that, he said it was pretty smooth sailing since he could (finally) trust her to hold herself accountable and make good decisions.

But during those years...man...all he could do was stand his ground and endure the shitstorms he knew was coming. I guess it's the only way to keep emotions in check when the kids come by to shit test u again.

Quote: (02-03-2015 11:27 AM)GyopoPlayboy Wrote:  

Maybe he got emotionally abusive, confusing his tactics for "tough love." Or he fell short on the "fair" part of the "tough but fair" equation by refusing to allow small shit that really didn't matter that much in the long run.

I dont think tough love ever does not feel emotionally abusive, nor do I think all those silly rules in the OP are fair at all(curfew, telling them not to fuck[get caught fucking, really] some guys... or else?)

Quote: (02-03-2015 11:27 AM)GyopoPlayboy Wrote:  

But from what I’ve seen and experienced, what the good dads manage to do well is raise their daughters to understand what accountability actually is and feels like. Promised to be home by midnight after a night out at the clubs but it’s now 2am? Greet her at the door, but tell her she’s not allowed in because she failed to keep her promise. She’ll have to go sleep at a friend’s house. Guarantee she’ll understand what a promise means from now on.

Accountability is mainly valuable if its a promise someone makes that they were originally going to fulfill voluntarily, the fact that you had a curfew basically means obedience(ie, she promised it because you pressured her to come home early), and your weird rules dont imply you are a good person to obey.

The principle makes a lot of sense, but you have to get the execution right. So not curfewey stuff you made up, but actual wife and motherly duties that she voluntarily wants to do to lock down a guy.

Quote: (02-03-2015 11:27 AM)GyopoPlayboy Wrote:  

Slap him upside the head if he displays any white-knighting/beta orbiter behavior.

This is probably one of the worse parts- You arent going to make a man masculine and independent by intimidating them and making them back down. As I said above, you are training obedience... not character.

---

I prefer a "show dont tell" parenting style, or leading by example. A lot of what you say isnt necessarily objectively bad, just you and your children would have different preferences. Regardless, if you cultivate a good relationship, and tell them good red pill ideas, they will be see the light and logically work out for themselves to do the right thing/s.

The moment they dont do the right things and you feel you have to use coercion, youve already lost. But I disagree on what you should do when it gets to that point- If it objectively hurts other people, like stealing or hitting other people etc, then they should be punished then, if it hurts them, then you want them to discover how wrong they are themselves, after telling them its a bad idea. You always make people want to do things more when you forbid it and less when you force them to do it.

"If anything happens to my daughter, I've got a shovel and a shotgun, and I doubt anyone's going to miss you."

Being strict for the purpose of being strict isn't enough

Being stern with the purpose of correction, teaching and redirection is where's it's at

I didn't read through the whole post... But from my experience girls with daddy issues are the sluttiest by far. Mainly when they daddy was not there or didn't show the daughter enough love. They go out and search for that love and attention is almost anything with a cock.

I'm not a expert on the subject, But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Quote: (02-03-2015 11:31 AM)GyopoPlayboy Wrote:  

Quote: (02-03-2015 11:14 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Good fathering today does not have the effect it had generations ago. Mostly because as a whole our society and culture is different and influences our youth differently. Granted there is something to be said for a girl who comes from a good family life, but unfortunately this day and age that's not enough.

No, this is wrong.

Good fathering is precisely what makes the difference in a girl during her formative years. It did 1000 years ago, and it still does today. Human nature doesn't change that fast.

Agreed.
As long as the father is a respectable man and the daughter respects the father, she will naturally seek out (by behaving accordingly) those qualities when she looks for a mate.

Fair but firm.
With more responsibility comes mere privileges.
Keep all promises/threats.
Treat your children with dignity.
Always let them know what is expected of them.
Never explain yourself to your kids.
If you pick a fight with your kids on anything you must always win that fight, period.
Just a few things I have learned off the top of my head

I'm going to go out on a limb and say:
Buy your daughter a pony.

I'm half serious. A riding club will do.
Girls are mad about horses, especially when they're young.
Gets her out into the fresh air, develops her thighs, teaches her to be caring and respectful to a strong beast.
If they're doing it English style, she will likely learn some manners, grace and deportment too.
Her peers would be less gagworthy than in some suburban ballet course, that's for sure.

In a similar vein:
An all-girls school. Easier than putting her in a chastity belt.

Quote: (02-03-2015 02:39 PM)dispenser Wrote:  

I'm going to go out on a limb and say:
Buy your daughter a pony.

I'm half serious. A riding club will do.
Girls are mad about horses, especially when they're young.
Gets her out into the fresh air, develops her thighs, teaches her to be caring and respectful to a strong beast.
If they're doing it English style, she will likely learn some manners, grace and deportment too.
Her peers would be less gagworthy than in some suburban ballet course, that's for sure.

In a similar vein:
An all-girls school. Easier than putting her in a chastity belt.

All girls that I know that have gone to all-girls school are massive sluts.

I agree with the horse thing though, I'm from Alberta, and the "country girls" as we call them (girls that lived on a farm all their lives) are the daddy's girls and the girls that are generally loyal to their men.

Anyone else having a hard time containing their laughter?

This post represents a fundamental divide in world view.

WIA

Quote: (02-03-2015 03:17 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Anyone else having a hard time containing their laughter?

This post represents a fundamental divide in world view.

WIA

Expand on this.

I know there's the obvious disagreements on the thread but I'm guessing you're talking about the irony of a bunch of playas and wannabes talking about how to raise a girl up right.