Quote: (04-15-2014 03:46 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

I wonder if most guys are more in love with the idea of love - than with any actual woman?

Hey Curdguy, there is another word "Why not" try it man. Just for a little while and then you could report back if you felt something. Which might be revealing to you.

I mean aren´t you interested if you can feel anything. You like to explore things why not explore yourself.

Maybe you get a huge rush of oxytocin. - Or you just save some money and go to the RP where you don´t have to work and get some 7,5 chics with good ROI It´s natural to become depressed seeing the relationships in the west.

My favourite blogger (I have two favourite bloggers by the way) covered this subject the other day:

http://wimminz.wordpress.com/2014/04/14/...-i-woebot/

From one of the comments below the blog:

"Self and isolation, or the death of self and companionship, that is the choice."

@Bill - no - I am not just going to try something that seems unappealing just for the hell of it. Sorry.

Why don't I try being gay as well - just to see what it is like? :-)

I've had one but I'm not even sure that was a relationship so maybe I've not had a girlfriend, but maybe I've had lots of girlfriends. However I do enjoy time to myself, you learn a lot in relationships.

Not only have I never had a girlfriend, I have never really even had a steady "slampiece". Maybe just one girl that I had sex with a bunch of times. For the longest time since losing my virginity, I had never hooked up with the same girl twice. I simply got bored. Partying came first, and girls kind of were just produced out of it.

I am a lot younger than you, however.

Every once in a while, maybe every 6 months or so, I'll look back on my life and see that it has been crazy and out of control - with the binge drinking, blackouts, and sloppy hookups, and I'll think I could and should settle down for a bit with a cute 7 who may be a bit homey but will keep me [mainly the drinking and sex drive] in check.

However, every time I have actively though I should wife up a girl for a bit, I don't even get lays and sloppy sex. I realize that I have subconsciously started treating girls nicer, and maybe that also gives off a needier vibe. So I go back to my hedonistic and debaucherous ways, till a run in with the cops forces me to stay in and stay sober for a while, with only monster cock porn to alleviate my pain, regret, and self loathing.

Then the cycle starts all over again.

Cardguy, from what I understand you have an easy and secure job and live in the north of England. I think the former has allowed you to become complacent and the latter has affected you a lot, too. It's a depressing place of grey skies and chavs. If you're not a chav, the best thing to do is seems to be to stay in with a cup of tea and a good book.

Clearly you're not after advice. And I could have gone the same way in similar circumstances. I haven't had a GF for years, but I've banged plenty of women and had FBs who I throw out to listen to music and read a book in peace.

I am out most weekends. The clubs in Newcastle are fantastic.

Much better than the shit I experienced in Stockholm. :-)

At least plan on getting your arse out to Thailand or the Philippines once to bang out a dozen girls just for the experience. Then you can return home and tell us how meh it all was.

What appeals to me about a relationship is being able to kick back, have sex on the regular and not feel like you have to be on the prowl constantly if you want to get laid. You don't gave to worry about carrying your A-game 24/7. If you didn't talk to that hottie that walked by you don't have to kick yourself, you got a girl to chill with later. Going out all the time and having to mack, filter through flaky numbers, set up dates. etc can wear you out over time. Especially as you get older. And even more so for introverts like us.

I can't LTR the girls I like and I can't get rid of the girls that want to LTR me

What do you rate yourself looks wise 1-10?

What is your height and weight?

Are you in shape?

Do you get laid on the regular?

Are you settled in your career?

Quote: (04-15-2014 06:05 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

What appeals to me about a relationship is being able to kick back, have sex on the regular and not feel like you have to be on the prowl constantly if you want to get laid. Going out all the time and having to mack, filter through flaky numbers, set up dates. etc can wear you out over time. Especially as you get older. And even more so for introverts like us.

That regular sex gets old real quick, though. I get bored with a chick after roughly 2-3 weeks. From then on, it's almost as if I have to force myself to be with her. I dont care what they say about "spicing up your sex life", once youve banged the same girl, oh i dont know, 5-6 times, it just isnt going to get any more exciting after that. Fucking a new girl for the first time is AMAZING. After that, it's downhill.

Yes it is weird.

But it's not uncommon.

Your attitude towards it....weird, and also not uncommon.

I'm guessing it bothers you, otherwise you wouldn't bring it up.

WIA

I think this is an important issue, mainly because relationships in the traditional sense are becoming obsolete. Men can get access to sex without commitment. Women can attention whore and get plenty of dicks for validation VERY easily. Women can also get free money from the government if they have children, so they don't need providers.

It seems like BOTH men and women aren't really interested in getting seriously involved with anyone. I don't know if men ever really got anything out of relationships other than consistent access to pussy, and women seem to not want to be tied down anymore either.

Roosh covered this recently. Women just don't give a shit about being in relationships anymore either.

http://www.rooshv.com/the-contradiction-...nal-values

Quote:Quote:

A popular manosphere saying is that women are gatekeepers to sex and men are gatekeepers to commitment. I wish this was an absolute truth, but it’s not. As a collective, women are often gatekeepers to both sex and commitment. Most men reading right now can surely attest to their failed attempts to secure commitment from women they slept with, and if you poll the entire population of men, you may find that they are the initiators of monogamous relationships more often than women.
...
The last two beautiful girls I dated in Poland, who I met during the day outside of clubs, simply wanted to use me as a fuckbuddy to be scheduled in between their work and school obligations. Both were looking forward to upcoming travel and study abroad plans. They did not want a serious relationship with me, even though they enjoyed the sexual part of it.

tighten your game and eventually you'll fall into some kind of mini-relationships from time to time. LTR for me is altogether very different, involving living together etc.

Quote: (04-15-2014 06:15 PM)Vitriol Wrote:  

It seems like BOTH men and women aren't really interested in getting seriously involved with anyone.

Roosh covered this recently. Women just don't give a shit about being in relationships anymore either.

It's not that it's just that then conventional way of entering into relationships (where both parties have to surrender their independence) is no longer relevant.

I have been pointing this out for several years.

Thank god! Now we can move onto a better framework for relating.

I´m married. When I wanna fuck I just roll over and bang my wife. what can be better than that?
A book? a coffee?

If I miss having my space? Yes. I have a kid. So I´m only peaceful when I´m taking a shit. That´s the only time I get peace of mind.

But I hated the gaps between player euphoria. The downs when your lonely sucked.

You gotta get some thrill in your life. You consider girls to be dull. One thing I think is clear about woman They are not dull. They are exactly the oposite. Woman are always scheduling dinners with friends setting up things to do, being invited to wedding, etc, etc. Women are much more social than man.

My grandmother united the family. When she died the entire family broke up. She was like the intermediary between all people.

When you die. And you will who will be there next to you? I expect my wife and sons and grandsons. When things will flash through your eyes will it be the coffee or book. It will be your wedding, your son, your son wedding, if so the divorce, your son divorce, etc. etc. Just don´t hide away from life.

I had one client he passed away last year. An old man. The 3 years I´ve worked with him were the best. He became my roll model. Except for one thing he was really rich but was cheap as hell to his sons. So they looked if they wanted him dead to collect his money. Anyway that guy enjoyed life. There are people who truly enjoy for what it offers.

Sometimes I just want to be alone and browse webpages. For me going out is like studying. I hated studying but loved the feeling of knowledge afterwards.

When I travelled alot I didn´t feel like travelling but when the plane took off it was great.

When I starting sleeping everyday with my wife I wanted a bigger bed. I told her I couldn´t sleep. Now my son sleeps in the midle of us in the same bed and I sleep like a baby.

This thread reminded me of a post I've been wanting to make for a while. I'll try to share my feelings on having a "good" girlfriend:
You are the captain of the ship and she is feminine and submissive to you... but what does that feel like? Many try to describe it but I never experienced it for myself until I was with a Ukranian. Outside of sex I never could have imagined how amazing it is to be in a relationship with a beautiful submissive girl. I felt powerful, I felt nourished, I felt like life was going my way 100% and nothing could get in my way. As Patrice O'Neal says, "it's the dream."






The feelings Patrice describes having for the girls he was with in Brazil mirrors my Ukraine experience to the T. When they submit to you, to your masculinity, your protector/provider instincts are activated and you WANT TO protect them, you WANT TO give them money and you WANT TO spend time with them.






Life takes on a whole new meaning when you want to continue this type of relationship with a woman (when you respect her feminine nature and acknowledge its benefits to your life). It sounds beta but it is the pinnacle of Alpha: it's YOUR SHIP, you are the captain and your skipper is happy to follow your orders.

Quote: (04-15-2014 05:03 PM)Slim Shady Wrote:  

Not only have I never had a girlfriend, I have never really even had a steady "slampiece". Maybe just one girl that I had sex with a bunch of times. For the longest time since losing my virginity, I had never hooked up with the same girl twice. I simply got bored. Partying came first, and girls kind of were just produced out of it.

I am a lot younger than you, however.

Every once in a while, maybe every 6 months or so, I'll look back on my life and see that it has been crazy and out of control - with the binge drinking, blackouts, and sloppy hookups, and I'll think I could and should settle down for a bit with a cute 7 who may be a bit homey but will keep me [mainly the drinking and sex drive] in check.

However, every time I have actively though I should wife up a girl for a bit, I don't even get lays and sloppy sex. I realize that I have subconsciously started treating girls nicer, and maybe that also gives off a needier vibe. So I go back to my hedonistic and debaucherous ways, till a run in with the cops forces me to stay in and stay sober for a while, with only monster cock porn to alleviate my pain, regret, and self loathing.

Then the cycle starts all over again.

A mirror image of my social life to date.

Very well written.

Is it really that bad to not be interested in never having a girlfriend

Like many other guys here I'm an introvert who absolutely needs his own personal time, but having a girlfriend doesn't mean you have to spend all your time with her. I've had a couple of GFs and a few longer relationships throughout the years and I don't think I've seen any of them more than two times a week, most of the times I only saw them once a week, and if I ever happened to see them 3 times in a week that was because it was a very special and rare occasion.

Anyway, having a GF can indeed be fun and it doesn't mean it'll last forever, especially because of this:

Quote: (04-15-2014 06:12 PM)Cunnilinguist Wrote:  

That regular sex gets old real quick, though. I get bored with a chick after roughly 2-3 weeks. From then on, it's almost as if I have to force myself to be with her. I dont care what they say about "spicing up your sex life", once youve banged the same girl, oh i dont know, 5-6 times, it just isnt going to get any more exciting after that. Fucking a new girl for the first time is AMAZING. After that, it's downhill.

Totally agree. After a while you're just there because you like her as a friend but even the thought of having sex with her again makes you cringe and you know it's time to move on. Unfortunately by now the girl is already in love and I personally find it very difficult to end things because I don't like hurting them, but I know I can't do it anymore. Even having sex with other girls while you have a more serious/official GF won't make you desire her more.

Nature is cruel, in the beginning we can't wait to get our hands on them and fuck their brains out and they're still figuring out if they like you, after a while you could care less about her and she's in love.

I have not had many long relationships but I'd definitely recommend trying out one or two attempts at it for the aforementioned reasons. And for the people complaining about the sex getting old, I understand. That being said, it leaves one with the option of comfortably going without condoms (which personally improves the quality of sex times two) and the ability to fuck in different ways that a one night stand cannot reliably provide. For example fucking a girl rawdog in a church with her parents present etc...

Of course u can do all this without having a girlfriend, but unless you've had one getting up to such antics would be a rarer but still doable occasion

Quote: (04-15-2014 03:16 PM)spokepoker Wrote:  

Saying all that stuff in the first post, it's just self-defeatist bullshit that only helps towards more future defeat.

Every girl I've been with has been my girlfriend, whether it was for 30 minutes, or over a year. I hold no ill will to them opening their legs to me, and I hold no ill will to those who don't. I can then continue on with my life.

You can't go through life all negative (well, you can, but just don't do it), or the end of your life will be filled with regret that you vomit onto the younger generation around you. Hence, the crotchety old man, instead being the older gentleman sipping a fine whiskey in a lounge.

edit; barely read more posts in this thread, the ones agreeing with their own depressing addendum doesn't help the situation. Get past it, improve, then tell stories of conquer, not defeat.

Cardguy's just telling it like it is. He's not negative, he's CONTENT. That's the vibe I've been getting. He's OKAY. Really. Don't fret.

Yeah, I guess I just interpreted it wrong.

Having a girlfriend just once good for two thing only:

-You realize sex can get boring very soon with the same girl, even if the girl turns you on like a nuclear power station.
-You realize how stupid, tiring and boring girls are. Pedestal destroying experience.

When you break up with a girl you realize how good is it to be free again.

"Behind every hot girl is some guy who's tired of fucking her."

You can get with a solid 9 and you'll be sick of her after the 3-6 month honeymoon phase.