Quote: (12-30-2013 09:10 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

Quote: (12-30-2013 08:08 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

I think you have it backwards-you came inside her a lot because you had feelings for her early on. Even if you werent conscious of it your subconscious had chosen her as a good mate.

But cumming inside her probably reinforced that too.

Yes. Trigger warning: This is not something "cool" that a bunch of young guys want to talk about.

To add to this, he obviously trusted the girl enough to bust in her. Sex was more than just jacking off while using another person's body. In his case, it likely involved actual intimacy.

That's a hard feeling to just shake off.

I'm in my late 20s and have yet to have this happen. It always seems like jerking off using a warm body.

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I'm in my late 20s and have yet to have this happen. It always seems like jerking off using a warm body.

I am sorry to hear this. If that statement is true, it might be time to check yourself. Raise your standards, change your circle of friends, etc, etc.....

Quote: (12-31-2013 09:42 PM)Laner Wrote:  

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I'm in my late 20s and have yet to have this happen. It always seems like jerking off using a warm body.

I am sorry to hear this. If that statement is true, it might be time to check yourself. Raise your standards, change your circle of friends, etc, etc.....

Yeah, normally I try to never be serious. But this is true. I'm going to change this in 2014. At least, to the best of my ability.

Ryan, what do you mean exactly? What do you feel is missing?

No need to answer if you don't feel like it. But you could be talking about a number of different things.

Quote: (12-31-2013 09:59 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  

Ryan, what do you mean exactly? What do you feel is missing?

No need to answer if you don't feel like it. But you could be talking about a number of different things.

I think I heard it best in a Patrice O'Neal bit (and I don't mean to always sound like a Patrice fan-boy). He talked about how women don't know how to tap into a man's desire. The girls I usually end up sleeping with don't tap into my desire. They put up the token "I'm not that kind of girl, blah blah" but it's like I've slept with the same vagina with dozens of different faces.

I often wonder if I have a broken attachment mechanism. Not really sure.

Funny thing is, the girls who I think I *may* have been able to get there with, are always the ones that "got away". That I wasn't able to obtain, for one reason or another (bad game, logistics, boyfriend, etc). Not sure if that's correlation or causation.

Are these girls that you don't find desirable to begin with but settle for?

Or do they seem desirable but then when it comes to the sex it feels like nothing special?

Quote: (12-31-2013 10:12 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  

Are these girls that you don't find desirable to begin with but settle for?

Or do they seem desirable but then when it comes to the sex it feels like nothing special?

It's happened in both cases. I've settled (not terribly, but I've dipped down a full point from my normal standard), and I've had a couple of 8s. It's almost like right after the bang, it loses a lot of value. I'm not sure if it's timing, because I've never had a girl make me wait past 2 "dates". I'd be interested to see what happens if I met a more traditional girl that wanted to wait longer (and it wasn't just a shit-test).

It's interesting that you talk about timing.

Do you feel as if the encounters are rushed and perfunctory?

I hope you don't mind the questions -- your post sounded unusually honest and serious and that is why I'm interested.

I don't mind. Yes, you could say they feel rushed. And they always feel like they play out exactly the same way.

Yes. I think that quite a few guys feel this way but they rarely talk about it.

Here is something to consider. Sometimes for the sex to be really good, it needs a little preparation and setup.

First, you have to find a girl that sexually excites you -- nothing is likely to be very good if the girl doesn't do it for you.

If you found one, don't necessarily rush into banging her as soon as possible. Rather, sexualize the relation with her as soon as possible, but hold off on the actual sex.

Take the time to fantasize about how you would fuck her, and relish every detail of that in your mind. And then talk with her about it.

A great thing to do if you can is to get a girl on the phone and talk to her sexually when you're already in with her and it's understood you're going to fuck her, but you haven't done it yet.

It gets girls crazily excited. And it builds up the anticipation for the sex, and removes some of the awkwardness because you've already talked and fantasized about some of the things you will do.

I think guys don't talk sexually to girls enough and don't fantasize about them enough and at length. Then the actual sex can feel rushed and meaningless.

But with enough of the right buildup it can be amazing, if the girl is into it and she is your type physically.

This is something you might want to consider. Guys are often afraid to talk to girls sexually and just want to secure the notch asap. But if you're not enjoying the sex then what's the point?

Also: this is also why sex in LTRs is often better at a particular stage. After the initial awkwardness is gone, but before the initial excitement has fizzled out (if there was any initial excitement to begin with).

This is a good point. Lots of good points. Thanks man. 2013 was about quantity, and I set a personal record. By far. 2014 will be about quality.

Thanks again man. I'll be back to my regularly scheduled joking self tomorrow.

You're welcome. And Happy New Year.

Quote: (12-31-2013 10:52 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  

Also: this is also why sex in LTRs is often better at a particular stage. After the initial awkwardness is gone, but before the initial excitement has fizzled out (if there was any initial excitement to begin with).

Good point. This has happened to me many times. But a 'long term' relationship is literally becoming 3-4-5-6 months tops for me now, and the 'initial excitement' fizzles out FAST. And by that I mean literally within weeks as opposed to months. Even after raw-dogging for weeks it seems to fizzle out. But maybe that's a true test of an LTR and I just haven't been able to 'go the distance?'

I've been in several LTRs ranging from months to years. It's true the sex changes, but I wouldn't describe the sex as fizzling out in my experience.

The excitement you feel (as a man) during sex in the beginning is all wrapped up in the conquest and the thrill of new pussy. It feels great and exciting (I fucked a new girl a few days ago and I'm still relishing how it felt to slide into her wet pussy), but in my experience at least, the early sex, although good/great, has never been the "best sex" of the relationship -- if the relationship turns into an LTR.

Later in an LTR the sex really does become an emotional bonding event (or it should). If you are not open/available to bond with the girl you are cumming inside of in a LTR, then you aren't actually in an LTR, you are just FWB (Friends With Benefits). Although I would still wonder about the girl secretly harboring feelings for you if you are in fact regularly filling her pussy full of fresh cum.

Yes def increases feeling. Im doing it w/my first girl ever regularly. Oddly enough, I've stopped wanting multiple rounds after busting inside. Thoughts?

I am still uncomfortable at the thought of not having condoms (one and done), but its def. something novel for me.

When you orgasm without a condom, you are more drained (physically and emotionally) than with a condom.

I would wager the loads are much bigger when you're not using a condom and know you can bust inside her.

We were put on this earth/evolved to shoot big fertile loads inside women.

We're going to feel more drained and more attached when we have sex as it's supposed to be done.

Women need regular injections.

Come in their mouth, pussy, ass, or simply on them - it all has an effect. Do it enough and they can get addicted to it.

Having sex these days is so impersonal. Using a condom is one barrier among many to proper intimacy and connections. That the penis and vagina are the most sensitive parts of the body is no coincidence, my friends.

I try to come on or in as much as I can. For guys who are afraid of babies, I suggest you try different holes.

Wald

Quote: (01-05-2014 04:26 PM)Walderschmidt Wrote:  

Women need regular injections.

Come in their mouth, pussy, ass, or simply on them - it all has an effect. Do it enough and they can get addicted to it.

Having sex these days is so impersonal. Using a condom is one barrier among many to proper intimacy and connections. That the penis and vagina are the most sensitive parts of the body is no coincidence, my friends.

I try to come on or in as much as I can. For guys who are afraid of babies, I suggest you try different holes.

Wald

Exactly, well said Wald.

Quote: (01-05-2014 04:26 PM)Walderschmidt Wrote:  

For guys who are afraid of babies, I suggest you try different holes.

...or just get a damn vasectomy. Best decision I ever made.

That said, I personally don't fuck girls without a condom unless there is a long term committed relationship involved. Even with my taking Truvada (tenofovir/emtricitabine; a pair of antiviral medications used to reduce the chances of contracting HIV through exposures; I take it because I work around blood and gore for work and want to be safe as possible even though the stuff is not cheap but thankfully I have good insurance and the company covers what the insurance does not), I still don't stick my dick in strange without a condom. Now, I will blow my load all over a girl without the slightest hesitation because there is effectively zero risk of knocking her up. But what can I say? I like marking my territory.

Quote: (01-05-2014 06:14 PM)internationalscientist45 Wrote:  

Quote: (01-05-2014 04:26 PM)Walderschmidt Wrote:  

For guys who are afraid of babies, I suggest you try different holes.

...or just get a damn vasectomy. Best decision I ever made.

That said, I personally don't fuck girls without a condom unless there is a long term committed relationship involved. Even with my taking Truvada (tenofovir/emtricitabine; a pair of antiviral medications used to reduce the chances of contracting HIV through exposures; I take it because I work around blood and gore for work and want to be safe as possible even though the stuff is not cheap but thankfully I have good insurance and the company covers what the insurance does not), I still don't stick my dick in strange without a condom. Now, I will blow my load all over a girl without the slightest hesitation because there is effectively zero risk of knocking her up. But what can I say? I like marking my territory.

Truvada hasn't been approved for HIV prevention for that long, Intl.Scientist. I'm pretty interested to see it's long-term effects in people not HIV-positive.

And I lol'd about marking your territory.

Quote: (01-05-2014 08:01 PM)CaliforniaSupreme Wrote:  

Truvada hasn't been approved for HIV prevention for that long, Intl.Scientist. I'm pretty interested to see it's long-term effects in people not HIV-positive.

I agree that it is relatively new itself for this but the initial results are promising and the theory behind it has a lot of experience behind it (post-exposure prophylaxis). But then again, with something that can kill you, it would be very questionable to have a single level of protection hence why I use condoms, caution/common sense and medication.

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And I lol'd about marking your territory.

Happy to be of service.

Quote: (01-05-2014 08:30 PM)internationalscientist45 Wrote:  

Quote: (01-05-2014 08:01 PM)CaliforniaSupreme Wrote:  

Truvada hasn't been approved for HIV prevention for that long, Intl.Scientist. I'm pretty interested to see it's long-term effects in people not HIV-positive.

I agree that it is relatively new itself for this but the initial results are promising and the theory behind it has a lot of experience behind it (post-exposure prophylaxis). But then again, with something that can kill you, it would be very questionable to have a single level of protection hence why I use condoms, caution/common sense and medication.

Quote:Quote:

And I lol'd about marking your territory.

Happy to be of service.

I'm sure the pros outweigh the cons.

Quote: (01-05-2014 08:34 PM)CaliforniaSupreme Wrote:  

I'm sure the pros outweigh the cons.

The only downside to the meds is that it tore my guts up for a couple of weeks but nothing severe enough that some Imodium didn't put a halt to it.

Retrovirals all the time? Really?

Def. not a healthy approach man. Those things are poison too.