Quote: (12-05-2013 02:46 AM)soup Wrote:
Quote: (12-04-2013 11:53 PM)Ryre Wrote:
Quote: (12-04-2013 06:17 PM)soup Wrote:
This guy is a complete narcicisst. He probably believes that he was destined for some great magical thing, and the whole world will be his witness etc.
OR
Maybe the whole shit is made up and he is a genius mastermind who is getting hit up by many many girls who have read his story and jumped on the wagon. Fame game dressed up as beta game.
Meh, the narcissism thing gets overplayed. Nothing here but run-of-the-mill no game/no options behavior, IMO.
Not overplayed. This guy has taken to the internet to tell the whole world his pathetic story.
Bingo.
What does this guy know about this woman? Next to nothing. Almost a year later, dude is prostrating himself before the Internet, begging to meet this woman.
Think about this story. Every story has an beginning and an ending. Use his words. He met this girl randomly on NYE and apparently drank with her over course of the night. She leaves him no contact information and he treats this night as "life-altering?"
Nope, not buying it. To him, she is a fetishized object. I have no idea what the fetish is - saving a hurt woman? - but whatever it is, his mind has fixated on her. It hasn't been a year of change, but one that has spent way too much time obsessing over this night. He still has a picture of this woman?
Sure, it's thirst. But its thirst aimed at erecting false goals about getting external approval -- this girl's "love" or public approval for his obsession with her. Aw, Christmastime is SO romantic. Get me a fucking drink.
Women should find this man creepy because bullshit like this comes from repressed stalkers a.k.a. men with narcissistic tendencies who don't have the ability to discern their wants from others. As already has been said, any man with any
real experience with women - women in real life, not porno images or creations in their head -
knows that women will make an effort to get/give information so you can hang out in the future. Really, that applies to most anybody. I can't imagine drinking with anybody all night, greatly enjoying it and not at least exchanging Facebook info.
The "find me" was a friendly way of admitting she enjoyed your company but not the point where she wants further contact. A healthy dude recognizes that and moves on. A month later, she is nothing but a fond memory of a good time on NYE. 11 months later, dude is still on her jock. You can says it is thirst and that is true, but what it really is pure objectification of her. In his mind, she represents an
aspirational goal, one that will never end well. He has already set up a defense against his failure, citing the "incredible odds." Nice, bro. You already have a great defense is she doesn't respond, fails after one date or the marriage fails. You can always blame the sheer improbability of "fate" for your lack of true perspective.
Sometimes people get on my case about constantly mentioning narcissism and they would be right. It is my current preoccupation and hopefully within a couple years I will have overcome my issues. Still, it is incredibly important to see how this issues play out in real life. This guy has already rigged the story no matter what happens. I said initially that the story is of preeminent importance, but the ending is 99% of the situation.
People who don't have real, concrete goals (an ending) have a very tough time in life. They expend energy on nothingness, mental masturbation and procrastination. People have finite emotional energies and it
will get expended. You can't ignore emotions. This guy has spent the past year spending his finite emotional resources on a girl he met for one night who didn't bother to disclose her full name to him. Think about that. He has basically been mentally masturbating over this woman for a year. He could have hit the gym and gone from chubby to lean/cut in one year. He could have established a solid foundation in game, a foreign language or even just read serious non-fiction works to better his mind.
What did he do? He obsessed over one woman he barely knew. You think he actually did shit this past year? Everything was about pursuing this woman's approval, so he didn't do any real, substantive change. He didn't even engage in superficial changes like putting on muscle to impress her or accumulating a mad roll to trick it out with her. He has nothing to show for this past year and you know how I know that? If he did
any substantive
it would be in the fucking article.
He wants this objects approval. If he did
anything he thought would help garner her approval it would have been one of the first things out his damn mouth. It is a throw-away statement at the end. Look at the story, analyze the words. Change is completely secondary to his movie reel of a sensitive, loving man chasing an unattainable woman. Get me another fucking gin & tonic.
You think the media lied here? They reported his words. If he had done something epic - made a massive billboard that proclaimed his love for her, that shit drives media revenue. I mean Christ, if you are going to do thirst, do it right and do something remotely epic and the media will be on that shit. All this dude did was whine about how a woman who refused to give him her contact info is his obsession/love. No fucking wonder she didn't dipshit, women can smell thirst a mile away. You creeped her the fuck out. You took advantage of an emotionally vulnerable woman and thought this was your chance to gain an object and score some pussy.
This guy is contemptible, but guys like this need the forum. I doubt he will change, but everybody has the capacity. He is in his mid-20's, the narcissism I critiqued is quite common at that age and a good bit of people burn it off and have healthier relationships. I do doubt he will do it, though.
Sadly, the ending for this man is not going to pleasant. The worst is a George Sodini type of mass murder of women (I mean 0.001% chance, relax). The best? A life of exhaustingly banal choices framed as true change, a divorce or two and a clutch of fucked up kids. Think Lester from "America Beauty" sans the death.
You could say I am over-reading the situation, but once you gaze into the abyss and see it for what it is, you can't ignore it.