Quote: (09-27-2013 04:39 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

Anti-Depression lights in the morning

What are "anti-depression lights?"

They are simply lights of about 10,000 lumens, many people suffer from reduced quality of mood in the fall, it's called Seasonal Affective Disorder. Using a light like this about 20 minutes a day less than 30 inches from your face , from the side, helps.

The great thing is it's just about the most natural treatment along with exercise for depression. Virtually no side effects.

http://www.amazon.com/Philips-goLITE-BLU...B001I45XL8


That one is only about 4" square and 1" deep. I have it turned on right next to my laptop on my desk right now.

Quote: (09-27-2013 04:39 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

DETACHMENT is the key word.

You should have no emotional attachment to the outcome of an approach or a date. This is a game. Enjoy it.

I'm starting to figure out how to reframe to achieve detachment for my own personality.

It's easy to say "be detached"-- and true-- but one has to figure out specifically what visualizations or self-statements or practices needed to achieve this.
Naturals don't grasp this, they see things from their own viewpoint, "Just do it" but for an introvert talking to strangers can be extremely unpleasant.


I want to not think about getting numbers-- just about opening my mouth and getting the first phrase out. I can tell pretty well if there's any interest from that point. Like with the Chinagirl Zero (there should be dozens in the future ) we both were having fun and it seemed likely she'd meet again.

Lots of girls check me out-- not look-me-up-and-down check me out, but they make eye contact pretty readily. I haven't realized it until now I notice the few that DON'T hahaha.

I've been told I have a lost puppy quality-- you've got to use what you've got. Women don't find me threatening at all, so with the right touch of lecher, I can score.

Quote: (09-27-2013 04:55 PM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

I'm starting to figure out how to reframe to achieve detachment for my own personality.

I want to not think about getting numbers-- just about opening my mouth and getting the first phrase out.

Yes.

This is exactly what you need.

Don't approach for numbers, dates, and bangs.

APPROACH TO NUTURE AND CULTIVATE YOUR OWN MASCULINE VITALITY AND ENERGY!

If that makes sense..

IKE the more I read here I'm seeing you have a short circuit. You are going to need to completely reboot like an old virused windows machine and start over. What you think is holding you back is actually holding you back because you're letting it fuck with your chi.

Start a new thread on that and see if we can't figure it out.

Yeah, I'm a little lost with what's going on, but it seems like just the fact that you have 19 year old FOBs hitting you up is a net-positive thing. Keep it up, OP.

Quote: (09-27-2013 05:32 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

IKE the more I read here I'm seeing you have a short circuit. You are going to need to completely reboot like an old virused windows machine and start over. What you think is holding you back is actually holding you back because you're letting it fuck with your chi.

Start a new thread on that and see if we can't figure it out.

El Mech, you are great at really being honest, I appreciate it.

I can't help but crack up at being compared to a virus-infested Windoze machine-!

But can you explain what exactly you mean by Chi? I know it means something like energy, I think in more traditional terms, like low energy from depression, but you may have some good ideas phrased in different ways.

I'd feel too embarrassed to start a thread just about my own problems without some good war stories. I opened two chicks today, I want to focus on the positive as much as I can. Whatever needs improving is going to need action of some kind, whether it's mental work of physical, I want to focus on that instead of too much analysis.
Maybe start some suicidal direct approaches as you recommended elsewhere?

Seems to me that you know what you should do (call the Chinese girl and invite her out).

Bumping this thread to ask: and what if it's a male friend? I don't think there's any way that can be taken as just an innocent dating custom used to gain reassurance. There certainly has to be a level at which you say "fuck it" and refuse to be her personal entertainment.

^ If an Asian girl brings along a guy, he's most likely going to be either gay or so beta that he's not an issue. If he's straight and just a friend, she'll at least bring girls as well.

If she brings along a guy that could be a threat and it's just you three, then yeah, you're probably being used, but I've never seen it happen.

I think applying Western dating norms and strategies to dating FOB Asians is a mistake.

You do need to drag her into your world, but tailor to her rules somewhat for the first date or two - at least middle ground - and do things your way the more you get to know each other. There's a real danger of scaring the cat if you refuse to acknowledge her cultural differences and follow the seduction sequence from "Bang" to a "t."

You will get some allowance since she's in your country and anxious to try new things, but some toning down will be in order.

NOTE: I'm only speaking based on what I know about Asians - I don't have experience gaming FOB Asians in America. So a grain of salt is needed with the above. Keep working on those FOBs and see for yourself is the key, I suppose.