Disclaimer: I've just returned from Las Vegas for the first time in over ten years.

How would I best describe Las Vegas in one word? "Over-hyped".

Oh wait, is that two words? How about "godfuckingaweful"?

Do you want to have the real Las Vegas experience? Bend over, pull down your pants, and get ready to accept the fact that you about to get ass raped. Las Vegas is a city of complete whores, both male and female, who's only goal in life is to suck you dry.


After 4 nights in Vegas, the only thing I pulled was the slot machines at the Palms..


[img][/img]


As soon as you land in Vegas, the first thing you will notice are the slot machines in the airline terminal. (Cheesy)


My second introduction was on the cab ride to the hotel, when the cab driver told me that "if you want to hit a strip club, take my number down and give me a call." "I am friends with the manager and I can get you in for no cover". (Sleazy)


After I checked into my room and went for a walk down Fremont Street, I was approached by at least 15 hookers.


I woke up Friday morning and took another cab to the Palms casino to meet up with the 8 other guys for the bachelor party. Although I booked 2 suites at the Palms for $2,500, they charged me a $45 daily resort fee, and if I wanted to use the gym it is an extra $20 per day per person.



"WELCOME TO LAS VEGAS"



I don't know what it is about Vegas, but I don't like it. I didn't like it ten years ago when I first went, and I didn't like it again this time. Everything rubs me the wrong way in the Vegas.

I am not saying that you can't have a good time in Vegas, but in the Summer I would rather hit a beach town. There is no reason to be in the middle of a desert in July.

Part of my "beef" with Las Vegas is that although many of the casino's and the clubs are very beautiful, they are still owned and developed by large corporate chains. Even a beautiful club like XS, is run and owned by a 70 year old corporate, white man, named Steve Wynn.

You cannot compare a privately owned club to a club that is run out of a casino. I've been to the infamous Tunnel, Limelight, and Sound factory back in the day, and to compare those famous clubs to some corporate bullshit club in a casino is unrealistic.


The clubs are fun, but no big deal.


Las Vegas clubs are soul less. They weren't built to last 50 years like Djais in Belmar, or Seacrets in Ocean City Marlyland, they are meant to last 5-6 years and suck as much revenue out of the people as they can.


This takes me to table service: The table service is completely out of control in Vegas. Its only a matter of time before they start offering table service for you to take a shit. I went to a place called "insert coin" on Fremont St, which is a bar where you play old school video games. Not only were they charging a cover, but they had a separate line for "table service".


Why would I want or need table service to play video games???



Every pool also offers cabana service, and it is even more comical. As we walked into the "Ditch Fridays" party at the Palms, they had some small cabana's on the sides of the outside wall that came with a fridge and a television inside.


My Italian cousin said it best when we walked inside, "why the hell would I fly all the way to Vegas to watch television in a cabana?"

It was 117 degrees on Friday, and I was in the middle of the pool for 5 hours straight talking to women. If they offered me a free cabana I still wouldn't take it. I don't even bring a free umbrella to the beach. 98% of the women were in the pool drinking and dancing, the only time I got out of the water was to take an occasional piss.


I don't understand the table service in the clubs either. In club XS I walked around the entire night kicking game on random girls. Why would I want to sit down at a table that takes me away from the action?


And some of the tables were in really bad locations. I saw 3 young guys with identical "Express" collar shirts and ties on, sitting at a table in XS that was 3 feet away from the dance floor. These guys were holding on to their $350 Grey Goose bottles so they didn't fly off the table from people knocking into them while dancing.


Vegas was also annoying because almost everyone came in a group of at least 5 people (including me), and it was becoming hard to isolate anyone. I don't mind approaching a large group of girls, but after a while I was getting tired of talking to ten women at the same time.


The other problem was that I saw at LEAST 35 bachlorette parties, which were almost impossible to breach. Most of the girls were just there to support the bride, and they definately weren't going to leave their friend to hang out with some guy from Brooklyn.


There was no "come hither" dancing in Vegas. I like when you walk into a club, and 2 or 3 girls are dancing in the middle of the floor and begging you to come approach. It seemed like nobody was offering, and instead they were just dancing in a circle with their idiot friends.


Observations:


Asians: There were a lot of Asian's in Vegas. I'm usually not attracted to Asians, but our groom is Chinese and we were trying to hook him up. One Asian girl asked me if I like a "69", and I said I prefer a "62", "chicken lo mein with broccoli." Surprisingly she didn't smack me and started laughing.


Australians: There was a large contingent of Australians there, and they have this horrible, bad habit: The men like to wrestle each other every time they get inside a pool.

I don't know if its a Australian custom to start wrestling inside water, but I went to a pool party 3 days in a row and saw large groups of Australian men wrestling each other and giggling.


Ocean County, California: I met at least ten different girls from the "OC". They were all pretty chill, and nobody asked me what I did for a living (unlike NYC girls). Might have to take a trip down to Southern California soon : )

The Strip: The strip looks cool, but it is has the worst walking arrangement in history. You have to climb up and down 15 escalators that snake through casino's just to walk 5 blocks. I skipped out on visiting the Marquee because it was too much of a hassle just to cross the street.


Late night/After Party: Is dead in Vegas. After 3:30 am it turns into a ghost town. The party in Atlantic city continues WAY later than the party in Las Vegas. And on Sunday night the Strip was completely dead at midnight. We ended up hitting the strip clubs because nobody was out.


Encore: This is the best spot in Vegas right now. It is a beautiful casino, and I ended up there every single night.


Circus Circus: Next time I come to Vegas (hopefully never), I am staying at Circus Circus. Circus Circus does have a lot of children running around, but it was laid back and had a normal priced liquor store right inside the casino. We went to eat steaks there and then bought a $30 bottle of Hennessey to split while walking 5 minutes to XS.


Paris Las Vegas: This hotel was also pretty cool, and walking distance to Encore.

Planet Hollywood: No big deal, but had a decent crowd.

Dudes: When I was researching Las Vegas everyone told me I wouldn't get into the clubs with 8 dudes. Ive been to clubs where guys had to wait for 20 minutes longer than women to get in, but we always ended up getting in eventually. But Vegas is worse, there are tons of "wolf packs" that consist of 5-10 guys all wearing the same clothes. They also circle around each other in the club and don't talk to any women.

Lines: I've waited and hour and half to get on "its a small world in Disney World" and I have waited 2 hours for "Batman" at Great Adventure, but I didn't wait longer than 2.5 seconds on a line in Vegas.

This is a picture I took of the line at XS on a Saturday at exactly 10:17pm. I walked in, didn't get patted down, and was in the club as quickly as they could check my ID.


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Rehab: Got there at 12:30 and waited 6.7 seconds to get inside. The other half of our group went to Encore beach and also reported no line.


Strip Clubs: I went to two of them, Glitter Gulch and Little Darlings. Little Darlings had a stripper with bullet holes in her legs.


Pool parties: Probably the best thing going in Las Vegas.


For the record I attended the following:


Friday Ditch Fridays AM /Surrender PM (ran into a friend from BK, got in for free with sneakers on!


Saturday: Ditch Pool (palms)/XS


Sunday: Rehab/Strip Bar Crawl


Overall: I can see Vegas being worth a trip if you live in California, or if you are going for some type of special event, but I don't think its worth a trip from the East Coast. In the summer the entire jersey shore is a lot more fun, parts of the Hamptons are more fun, Dewey Beach, Ocean City, and Myrle Beach are more fun, and Miami blows it out of the water...


*Sorry if I am rambling on, but I've been in 116 degree heat for the last 4 days.

damn, this article had me interested...

http://www.returnofkings.com/8157/the-ea...o-get-laid

I'm sure I'll wind up there someday, hopefully not during the summer.

Capt, did you get laid?

You mention that you were there 4 nights and only pulled a slot machine, but I am not sure if this a joke or a statement of fact.

""Australians: There was a large contingent of Australians there, and they have this horrible, bad habit: The men like to wrestle each other every time they get inside a pool.

I don't know if its a Australian custom to start wrestling inside water, but I went to a pool party 3 days in a row and saw large groups of Australian men wrestling each other and giggling.""

LOL, they where new-zealanders or british, aussies would have flashed a brown-eye at u!


Vegas is like any other casino-town, to rape you wallet to the max!

Like you said, game on from the momment you land at the airport terminal.

The place had class when TheMob ran the joint, now its just whore-town, i am amazed you thought that it would be anything else but this, you only visit and leave, so thats a good point i suppose

I dont mind it in small dose, but yeah, its a bizzaro-world of a place

"Lifes about, shooting your load"

This almost reads as a "what not to do in Las Vegas" trip report.

Gee whiz.

PartyOnBro (who goes to Vegas often), Fisto (who lived there) and me (lived there and goes there often) all told you what to do.

You did the exact opposite.

This reminds me of the infamous attack on "suit game." You attack suits and then it turns out you were undershirts under Men's Warehouse "dress shirts."

You are hard headed and going to do your own thing.

That is totally cool. It is your life.

But when you ignore people who actually know what to do, don't act like you weren't told otherwise.

Vegas is awesome. You're the one who blew it.

Vegas is an event town - a fight, a show, a convention. Or if you're a gambler or a high-end shopper. That's really what it's set up for. If you're celebrating a birthday, bachelor party, etc., and rolling in with your own crew, it's great. If you want to go clubbing, table service is the best way in the door - otherwise, if you're not a cute girl, you're waiting outside. Also, when you have a table, they have employees that will scour the club for single girls and bring them to your table. I know...we've had that happen for us when a crew of us rolled there on a couple of occasions. Another time, a friend was there under the wing of a businessman mentor, and he took care of us at the Bank in the Bellagio for 3 straight nights. Yes, it's difficult to walk around because of how the strip is laid out. Yes, there are tons of tourists, etc. I've only gone out to Vegas for a specific occasion, with people that are already friends. The pool parties ARE probably the best situation to socialize with randoms and pull though. I've never done one of the pool things, but it's probably the best daygaming scenario to set things up for later in the evening/night, if not pull straight from the pool to your room.

Quote: (07-03-2013 03:43 PM)TheCaptainPower Wrote:  

98% of the women were in the pool drinking and dancing, the only time I got out of the water was to take an occasional piss.

So, what went wrong here? They pool had girls who were already half naked, drunk, and dancing. Couldn't bounce them back to the room? I think you need to go back to Vegas when it isn't a bachelor's party for your friend (groom) because future grooms tend to lead all interactions at your expense and perhaps against your expertise.

Quote: (07-03-2013 03:43 PM)TheCaptainPower Wrote:  

Asians: There were a lot of Asian's in Vegas. I'm usually not attracted to Asians, but our groom is Chinese and we were trying to hook him up. One Asian girl asked me if I like a "69", and I said I prefer a "62", "chicken lo mein with broccoli." Surprisingly she didn't smack me and started laughing.

Any place there is gambling, there's going to be a ton of Asians.

Quote: (07-03-2013 03:43 PM)TheCaptainPower Wrote:  

Circus Circus: Next time I come to Vegas (hopefully never), I am staying at Circus Circus. Circus Circus does have a lot of children running around, but it was laid back and had a normal priced liquor store right inside the casino. We went to eat steaks there and then bought a $30 bottle of Hennessey to split while walking 5 minutes to XS.

Quote: (07-03-2013 05:01 PM)PoosyWrecker Wrote:  

Quote: (07-03-2013 03:43 PM)TheCaptainPower Wrote:  

Circus Circus: Next time I come to Vegas (hopefully never), I am staying at Circus Circus. Circus Circus does have a lot of children running around, but it was laid back and had a normal priced liquor store right inside the casino. We went to eat steaks there and then bought a $30 bottle of Hennessey to split while walking 5 minutes to XS.

Yeah, this type of thinking virtually guarantees ones next trip to Vegas will be just as unsuccessful.

For the record I "liked" XS, it was a fun club, but no big deal. And that picture of "XS" was taken with my cell phone at 10:17 on a Saturday night with ZERO people on line.

What am I lying about? Walking up and down the strip is torture. The "UP" escalator was out of service next to Planet Hollywood when it was 118 degrees outside, and its hard to get from one casino to the other.

Like i said, I would go for a 2-3 day weekend if I lived in California or Arizona, but I don't think it's worth a trip from the East Coast.

2 girls from O.C. told me that they hated Hakkasan because of the stairs...

Quote: (07-03-2013 05:01 PM)RougeNoir Wrote:  

Quote: (07-03-2013 03:43 PM)TheCaptainPower Wrote:  

98% of the women were in the pool drinking and dancing, the only time I got out of the water was to take an occasional piss.

So, what went wrong here? They pool had girls who were already half naked, drunk, and dancing. Couldn't bounce them back to the room? I think you need to go back to Vegas when it isn't a bachelor's party for your friend (groom) because future grooms tend to lead all interactions at your expense and perhaps against your expertise.

Get room at Wynn.

Meet girls at Encore Beach Club.

"Let's go party back in my room."

Walk back through casino area to room. It's a 10 minute walk, max.

Pretty simple.

CaptainPower is one of those interesting cases on the forum. There's another guy like him who comes to mind.

Smart, good guys who stubbornly refuse to listen to anyone...and then act really confused/complain when things don't work out.

P.S. Here are pics from EBC. AS you can see, there is no shortage of attractive women.

http://www.encorebeachclub.com/photos/

I have a feeling that CaptainPower's cheapskate ways backfired on him in Las Vegas.

This thread could be epic.

The only way to explain this is that you did all this crap b/c of your friends. Otherwise, you have a beach body right? (no homo) You know how to have a good time. Why would you be anywhere but the pool? It's like someone saying dude go to Thailand for easy girls but you decide that India is better. Don't know what to say.

P.S. Have you been to DC? (I kid because I love)

1. Downtown Vegas is horrible.

2. Tables are only good in a large group. If you had not gotten a table, where would the rest of your friends congregate, or do they all work the club? Tables are great if you have lame people who won't approach, so they can just have somewhere to sit and drink.

3. Clubs in vegas are not run by the hotels or by Steve Wynn. They are run by private companies who's sole purpose is to run nightclubs, both in Vegas and internationally. AMG, the Light Group, Victor Drai, Waits brothers, etc. It is corporate, but on this level you need to be.

4. You do have to work to close someone by 2am IMO. You're right, the myth of vegas being an all night town is a bit overrated. Since girls do go in groups, you have to figure ways to break that group and its a weird dynamic.

Quote: (07-03-2013 05:05 PM)TheCaptainPower Wrote:  

For the record I "liked" XS, it was a fun club, but no big deal. And that picture of "XS" was taken with my cell phone at 10:17 on a Saturday night with ZERO people on line.

2 girls from O.C. told me that they hated Hakkasan because of the stairs...

10:17 p.m. is still nap time for most. What does your picture prove?

What was XS like at 1 a.m.?

I told you locals called Hakkasan "Hakkastairs" and that it was hype.

Also I told you that clubs with DJs are bad to meet women because everyone stands and stares at the DJ rather than bump and grind. It looks like this:



Why do you start threads asking for direction only to ignore the advice given?

Is it just a form of attention whoring or to say, "Look at me, I'm going to Vegas!"

Geniunely curious...

Half my crew was at Encore Beach Club on Saturday, and said it was OK.

The pools are fun, the night scene is overrated.

Over 4 days I had at least 15 girls randomly come up to me and ask me to buy them shots, after a while it gets old...

I like having the beach scene. I don't think Vegas compares to Miami, Dewey Beach, Ocean City Maryland or at least 5 towns in Jersey, Hamptons, or parts of Fire Island.

Its also worse than Montreal, New Orleans, Vancouver, and NYC....

I even like Atlantic City better in the summer because you have the beach, and you can get to the other hotels easier, but the rooms are 1000X nicer in Vegas and cheaper.

Quote: (07-03-2013 05:05 PM)TheCaptainPower Wrote:  

For the record I "liked" XS, it was a fun club, but no big deal. And that picture of "XS" was taken with my cell phone at 10:17 on a Saturday night with ZERO people on line.

What am I lying about? Walking up and down the strip is torture. The "UP" escalator was out of service next to Planet Hollywood when it was 118 degrees outside, and its hard to get from one casino to the other.

Like i said, I would go for a 2-3 day weekend if I lived in California or Arizona, but I don't think it's worth a trip from the East Coast.

2 girls from O.C. told me that they hated Hakkasan because of the stairs...

I think XS actually opens at 10:30pm...but yeah, showing up early is critical if you don't want to wait in line. I waited 2 minutes to get into Hakkasan on Friday with presale tix.

I actually liked Hakkasan. Light was really cool (musicwise) too. Production quality of the DJ shows was out of this world. not the easiest place to pick up, but the top tier clubs never are.

I'd say just stay on the main level by the dance floor and don't even bother going anywhere else though. Elevator up, Elevator down. only reason I took the stairs was to explore the club.

10:17 is nap time? The only reason why I got to XS so early is because everyone told me there would be a 2-3 hour line...

Encore beach and rehab also had a 30 second line at 12:30 on a Sunday.

Vegas is over hyped, and I'm sticking to it.

Quote: (07-03-2013 05:18 PM)TheCaptainPower Wrote:  

Half my crew was at Encore Beach Club on Saturday, and said it was OK.

The pools are fun, the night scene is overrated.

Over 4 days I had at least 15 girls randomly come up to me and ask me to buy them shots, after a while it gets old...

I like having the beach scene. I don't think Vegas compares to Miami, Dewey Beach, Ocean City Maryland or at least 5 towns in Jersey, Hamptons, or parts of Fire Island.

Its also worse than Montreal, New Orleans, Vancouver, and NYC....

I even like Atlantic City better in the summer because you have the beach, and you can get to the other hotels easier, but the rooms are 1000X nicer in Vegas and cheaper.

how was the club crawl for you? Where did you go?

@PartyonBro We went downtown and just pregamed on Friday. I thought Fremont was cool, you can get liquored up pretty quickly over there.

We hit like 8-10 bars over there and then we were supposed to go to Carnival Court, but one of our friends saw our Facebook posts and invited us to Surrender. Turns out that he works backstage for some type of show and got us in for Free : )

Encore is pretty cool, I like those tree's they have outside and I like the interior of the casino. At one point on Saturday night I was drunk and walking down the strip and stopped to stare at the tree's.

Is it illegal to catch a cab in the street? We had to keep walking back to the casino's to wait on line to hail a cab...

Yes, its illegal for cabs to pick you up on the streets in the area where there are barriers on LV Blvd.

Surrender and XS are good as far as clubs are since you can approach outside pretty easily versus inside where its kind of a shit show. Light and Hakkasan, you were pretty much limited to some dance floor game, which isn't impossible but its hard when the headliners are on.

Quote: (07-03-2013 05:05 PM)TheCaptainPower Wrote:  

What am I lying about? Walking up and down the strip is torture. The "UP" escalator was out of service next to Planet Hollywood when it was 118 degrees outside, and its hard to get from one casino to the other.

I don't even know where to start on this thread.

It really can't be serious.

I could pick apart every third word.

But just for fun:

Quote:Quote:

Walking up and down the strip is torture.

Yeah, that is why one is a moron to "walk up and down the strip".

Quote:Quote:

The "UP" escalator was out of service next to Planet Hollywood

What the f*ck is one doing at Planet Hollywood to begin with?

Quote:Quote:

it was 118 degrees outside

Well yeah.

News just in: Las Vegas is located in the desert.

It is a record heat wave.

What would one expect?

Quote:Quote:

and its hard to get from one casino to the other.

Uh, yeah.

That is by design.

To offset this, this is something called "cabs" or "limos".

You can actually pick them up in front of every casino at the "cab stand".

I spent more on cab rides than drinks a few nights.