This has been floating around facebook for a couple of days. It is interesting since I suspect a lot of guys on this forum may find themselves on both sides of this argument before our lives are through.

On one hand, we are dedicated to being the guys that this man (a father and military veteran) is trying to protect his daughter from.

On the other hand, many of us will (or already do) have daughters, and could end up feeling the same way about them that this father does. Today's players could easily be tomorrow's shotgun-wielding dads.

Either way, this still makes for an amusing read.

Quote:Quote:



Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. On issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a Black Hawk chopper coming in over a san hill near Mogadishu. When my PTSD starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is me.

I thought about posting something to this notion on the Male Hamster thread: Members here way overestimate their ability to dictate the life outcomes of their children (particularly daughters), perhaps out of some misguided extrapolation of their own self-perceived Horatio Alger loser-to-poon-king life evolution.

From twin adoption studies we know that among pretty much all cognitive/behavioral traits, genetics is the most important factor, then shared environment second, with unique environment (a subset of which is parenting) last. Even for a wide variety of political belief-related traits, which are much more malleable, genetics + shared environment still explain more than 50% of variance.

You don't want your future hypothetical daughter banging badboys and being a slut in general?

Make sure her mother isn't a slut.

Have her grow up in a good school district with no hoodrats and no thugs.

Then sit back, relax, and hope for the best.

Probably gonna make her fuck around behind your back if you're really controlling and a dick like that. You're gonna have to let her get her heart broken and somewhat live her life. The only thing you can do is raise her right, make sure she's close with you and mom and spend quality time together. Maybe tell her what Roosh told his sister in that one article.

He is the gatekeeper to his daughter's vagina lol.

Overprotective. What happened to just judging character. Rules make characters be someone they're not.

Some of those rules are what will turn his daughter into a little entitled prince who will be turned out by bad boys:

"As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating."

Why doesn't he teach his daughter some basic civility and respect for another person's time?

Quote: (04-23-2013 09:45 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

Some of those rules are what will turn his daughter into a little entitled prince who will be turned out by bad boys:

"As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating."

Why doesn't he teach his daughter some basic civility and respect for another person's time?

I agree, it's all just reinforcing the "princess" mindset. If I had a daughter, I'd probably feel like the author writes, but as a man, I know I can't operate based on feelings.

All the shit about letting the girl dictate the terms of the relationship really burned my ass.

Hilarious, but this Dad is a chode.

Is his daughter a porn star?

I know this is tongue in cheek but some of these are definitely white knighting and putting the chick on a pedestal. I would have rules for my teenage daughter on dating that would be as harsh as any I would impose on a guy.

Quote: (04-23-2013 08:23 PM)Athlone McGinnis Wrote:  

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Promotes the attitude that chicks should run through betas and then be "finished with them" - hopefully milking them for movies, dinners, flowers - and the kid should suck his thumb and take it.

Quote: (04-23-2013 08:23 PM)Athlone McGinnis Wrote:  

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Promotes the idea that chicks should do whatever they want with no consequences. Girls should have no respect for their beta orbiters taking them out for a milkshake.

Quote: (04-23-2013 08:23 PM)Athlone McGinnis Wrote:  

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a Black Hawk chopper coming in over a san hill near Mogadishu. When my PTSD starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is me.

Fuckin nutcase military white knight. I know there are military members on this forum, but Jesus Christ, these guys are fanatical white knights. At this point what way of life are they defending besides a growing police state, rampant feminism, occupying goat caves, and high taxes on the poor suckers whose sustenance is sucked away by the state and transferred to old people, single mothers, and SWPLs?

I know this is fiction, meant to make helpless dads across America feel better about their out of control daughters.

Perhaps this dad didn't get the memo that we don't live live in a patriarchy anymore and dads and husbands have NO say or control over how wives or daughters act.

If I was the boyfriend and he disrespected me, I would do ATM on her daughter and send him the video so he can fap to it.

This is the type of dad that spoils his daughter and does back flips on command. He's scared to yell at her and will be examining her boyfriend or husband in 30 years instead of letting her be a grown woman and make mistakes.

I would tell my daughter she can bring any guy she wants home and to fuck his brains out. That way I know she is not sneaking behind my back and putting herself in dangerous situations to avoid my wrath. Only advice I would give, always have condoms, do not get pregnant, fuck as many boys as you want.

Every woman that I have dated was some mans daughter, and believe me, those rules have not been applied even once.

If I have a daughter I will put her up for adoption.

Problem solved!

The dude who wrote this is a fag. He wouldn't do or actually enforce any of that shit.

Quote: (04-23-2013 10:39 PM)TheRookie Wrote:  

Fuckin nutcase military white knight. I know there are military members on this forum, but Jesus Christ, these guys are fanatical white knights. At this point what way of life are they defending besides a growing police state, rampant feminism, occupying goat caves, and high taxes on the poor suckers whose sustenance is sucked away by the state and transferred to old people, single mothers, and SWPLs?

Reactionary ideology (which I applaud) + missing the memo that things have changed since the 1930s = silly, self-destructive, anachronistic behavior.

This guy buys the sugar and spice nonsense. In reality, this girl will be sneaking out of her room to ride the bad boys' cock. The nice guys showing up at the front door aren't going to be his problem. Just have her mother put her on the pill so at least her stupid behavior won't be likely to have lasting consequences.

Internet Tough Guy-ism at it's finest. I should know, I'm an ex-marine sniper half-vietcong batman with a +2 sword and a barbed wire tattoo encircling my dick.

It's more like:

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk, I won't be very happy but I bet my daughter will probably be blowing you by the end of the night.

Rule Two:
Please do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will tell her I don't like you later on when she comes home, after she has blown you.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I would contemplate offering you a belt, but instead probably just let her go and blow you instead.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, if you raw dog her, I probably won't find out, and if I do, I will express my discontent to her, after she has already blown you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. But if you do, I'll probably do my best to end the conversation, and hope my daughter isn't blowing you later on.

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will be very upset with you and try my hardest to make sure she doesn't blow you in any future encounters.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. I really hope she doesn't blow you in the theater.

Rule Eight:
There's a good chance you will take my daughter to all sorts of places I don't agree with, and she will probably blow you in many of them, and it will make me upset, but I probably won't do anything.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. On issues relating to my daughter, I am mostly clueless. I will most likely not find out that you are lying to me about my daughter blowing you, but if I do, I will be very angry.


Rule Ten:
I really hope my daughter isn't blowing you while I write this

Stupid, violent, abusive white-knight. He has not a single clue about either the sexual marketplace dynamics or protecting his daughter, and will probably fuck up some guy's life and end up in jail when she either chooses a jerk (not a violent or criminal guy though) or rationalizes some Beta of being one. It's like those idiots that massacred and killed a guy falsely accused of rape, entrenched in their delusional thought that they matter in the world and that women are some kind of helpless automatons unable to think for themselves.

I would probably just tell my daughter that actions have consequences. If you want to be a decent human being, guard your chastity, find a nice guy, I will be there for you and be a white knight. But if you act like a stupid whore I will just shake my head in pity as you twist in the wind.

Should I have a daughter I will any dude trying to date her.

Quote: (04-24-2013 06:50 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

Stupid, violent, abusive white-knight. He has not a single clue about either the sexual marketplace dynamics or protecting his daughter, and will probably fuck up some guy's life and end up in jail when she either chooses a jerk (not a violent or criminal guy though) or rationalizes some Beta of being one. It's like those idiots that massacred and killed a guy falsely accused of rape, entrenched in their delusional thought that they matter in the world and that women are some kind of helpless automatons unable to think for themselves.

I think it is some sort of parody to be honest, like a meme or something. I don't think a father actually wrote this. However, if I'm wrong then your points are absolutely correct.

That guy is over before he typed that shit into his computer: