On SWPL blog The Awl, a woman wrote in asking for advice when she found out her ex had died. There's a lot of

http://www.theawl.com/2012/11/ask-polly-...-maniac-ex

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I am a happily (you know, mainly) married female in my late 30s—with two small kids. Life is pretty ducky—I love and like my husband, like my job, and find my kids totally adorable, amazing, and exhausting/exasperating in equal parts.

Translation: Help me, I'm stuck with a beta. Her life is "ducky," people.

Men use the phrase "Bitches ain't shit." The equivalent phrase among the female population should be "Betas ain't shit."

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Recently, though, I found out that my ex-boyfriend died suddenly and unexpectedly. We had not been in touch in about eight years, since we broke up, right before I met my husband. The relationship was… well, it was one of those drama-filled doozies that involve HOURS of phone calls with girlfriends describing the pain and heartbreak and arguments and utter terribleness of it all.

Her husband is failing at his primary responsibility. Providing for his family? Fuck, no. Keeping his wife's panties moist? That's it.

Because of his failure, she can't squawk on the phone for HOURS with her cunty friends anymore about her man's emotional distance and bedroom antics. This is a serious crisis which has turned her life "ducky."

OK, ready for some more rationalization?

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I am happy and relieved and grateful not to be with him (or any of my other former maniacs)—and to be in a stable relationship with a man who really knows and loves me—in a way that my ex(es) never did or probably could.

I'm convinced of the veracity of this statement.

And how many cocks has this bitch touched in her lifetime?

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However! There is something emotionally compelling (and yes, I admit, also totally crippling) about dating a maniac. Mainly, you are pretty miserable but when you are happy… God, you are really high.

What's this? Is it what she really thinks?

So, she misses her asshole ex-boyfriend who's now dead (Dying young is alpha.) and the emotional highs and lows he inflicted upon her. Oh, and the dickings too. And now she's stuck with this boring husband who's not hitting it right, and these two pesky kids who get in the way of her gossip intake and binge drinking. What's a married mother of two to do?

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So, I'm having this bit of existential angst—that is somewhat about the fact that I never had any closure (and I know, closure is kind of a made-up thing) with my ex but also about the fact that I will never again have those dramatic, romantic highs—or do any of the crazy, fun, ultimately destructive crap I did in my youth.

This woman is saying that she won't feel those tingles ever again in her life (unless she ditches her family). She's 30 something. She'll probably live another 50 years.

I'll give her credit. She pulled of the dream- get as much good dick in the glory years and catch a sucker before time runs out. So, she's not a spinster, but she's still not happy. This is marriage in the educated class. Doomed.

The fact that he probably died as a result of his alpha antics (i.e. riding with an outlaw biker gang) will have this woman looking over her shoulder forever.

Quote: (11-09-2012 12:17 AM)Bacchus Wrote:  

"Recently, though, I found out that my ex-boyfriend died suddenly and unexpectedly. We had not been in touch in about eight years, since we broke up, right before I met my husband."

Oh, that's a brick. That's a triple trailer load of shit in the middle of a pristine field of daisies.

SHE WAS FUCKING THE OUTLAW AND LYING TO HER BOYFRIEND ABOUT IT, THEN THE ALPHA TAP-DANCED AWAY AND SHE SETTLED FOR THE HUMAN BEING.

OH, WHAT A BRICK.

Fucking A! Just read the link. SOOOO MUCH !

"Life is pretty ducky" - the most harmless, subtle way of describing that her Beta husband is a nice guy who can't ever get her wet. The general public might miss such a detail, but it never slips past the radar of anyone here.

Major 5-minutes-of-alpha story with a lot of hamster indeed. But in all fairness, the second letter on that page (by a guy) is just as hamster.

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Dear Polly,

I blame all this on my current (soon to be ex) girlfriend. I volunteer at a local food pantry. One day my girlfriend came to pick me up. On the way home she happened to ask me about a coworker who came looking for me while she was there. My antenna immediately went up, because one thing I know for certain, when my girlfriend talks in that way, she knows the other woman is interested in me. She would make the perfect wingman, you know, if we weren't already involved.

So now someone else has said this coworker might like him, he's interested. Beforehand it wasn't an issue. She was still cute, but only comes on his radar when he thinks she likes him. Fear bound pussy.

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My normal rule is never mess around with people you're working with. And in my general cluelessness, I had no idea this woman had me on her radar. Unfortunately for my far too easily influenced mind, I cannot stop thinking about this woman now. All she was before was someone I worked with, now she's become a major obsession, to the point of a little bit of cyber-stalking.

Nice going.

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As I've gotten to know her more, I'm finding out she's just about perfect fit for me in ways that my current (soon to be ex) girlfriend is definitely not. I further compounded all this stupidity by scheduling a lunch with this woman. It was supposed to be to celebrate her new promotion, and we were supposed to be chaperoned by another coworker. The other guy 'forgot' and I was stuck taking the woman to lunch by my lonesome.

THAT is actually pretty creepy, lying to get her alone, especially since you're so obviously beta to not make any moves.

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Well, three hours later we were still there talking. And everything I'd found out about her was just the tip of the iceberg. She really is my perfect partner. Many of the same interests. Same tastes in music. We could have spent another three hours talking about music alone.

How high can you make this pedestal?

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My problem (other than being in a 15-year relationship) is, how much do I tell this woman (she knows I have a girlfriend) about my now enormous and growing feelings for her without coming off as a complete douche?

p.s. Nothing beyond a friendly hug between us, so far.

So you are in a mediocre relationship for 15 years because you're too afraid to end it and find something better until your girlfriend mentions some coworker might like you, and all of a sudden you believe you've found your soulmate.

SUPER BETA

Seriously, guys like this have hamsters that can rival those of the female variety, and it is a lot more embarrassing.

Surprised no one else caught this - it sounded like she always had the ex in the back of her mind, as her get-out-of-beta-free card, that once everything got settled, kids were grown up, she juuust might get back with the cool ex. She no longer has that chance, so she's crestfallen. Her plan of using the beta as a stepping stone back to the alpha is no more.

Quote: (11-09-2012 03:06 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

"Life is pretty ducky" - the most harmless, subtle way of describing that her Beta husband is a nice guy who can't ever get her wet. The general public might miss such a detail, but it never slips past the radar of anyone here.

Life is pretty ducky. Shudder.

Translates into "I haven't had an orgasm in years." Guaranteed.

Poor bastard probably thinks he has a stable job, good kids, and a loving relationship with his partner. It's going to hit him like a ton of bricks when she bones Steve down at the local dive bar, which she undoubtedly will.

Life is pretty ducky. Shudder.

Translates into "I haven't had an orgasm in years." Guaranteed.

- it also translate into: I haven't fucked my husband in years......


A Bitch like this shut things down on her husband a long time ago.......all he gets is a quick "keep the peace" fuck every 3 months or so......

He's miserable and either wondering how he got himself into the situation or like most men he's sucking it up and grinding a way for the kids.

K.

Quote: (11-09-2012 01:51 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

[quote='Bacchus' pid='304402' dateline='1352438260']

"Recently, though, I found out that my ex-boyfriend died suddenly and unexpectedly. We had not been in touch in about eight years, since we broke up, right before I met my husband."

She told the Alpha that she was preggers.....he bounced ...

she found a Beta chump - gave him some sex, told him that she's pregnant and he married her.

I bet very good money that the first kid is NOT his.

K.

to me this article just gives more reasons WHY men should avoid marriage. by commiting to marriage with this woman and giving her stability she becomes too comfortable with her relationship and complacent. hence she takes for granted the commitment and sacrafice her husband made for her. after she was married there where no more relationship goals for her to attain. as she grows older in her relationship with her husband this reality is dawning on her that at best all she can get from her husband is love and commitment. to her where is the challenge in that?

never forget psychology 101 people want what they cant have.

when this women remembers her past boyfriend it is obvious that he would not marry her and throughout her relationship with him the challenge to her was getting validation of love and commitment from him. this is something he never gave her. BUT YET he did give her the challenge of not validating love and this is what this woman really wants.

i suspect if her husband never married her she wouldnt have these thoughts about her past boyfriend because she wouldn´t need to. she would still be challenged with her current guy and getting him to marry her to validate his love for her.

maybe this explains why some of the most happy couples never marry.

These stories are so dime a dozen I'm not even surprised by them anymore