Girl said she needs to be in a relationship to have sex. What relationship is that? Is she in love with me? She kept saying she is just infatuated with me but I don't know. Had a fling that lasted almost 2 months and she ended it. And now she wants to go back to being just friends. Appreciate your advice on this.

Next

I got this excuse in a nightclub even when I tried to push it further after the makeout.

It did not help that she was too attached to her social circle.

Quote: (08-25-2018 11:03 PM)scorza Wrote:  

Girl said she needs to be in a relationship to have sex. What relationship is that? Is she in love with me? She kept saying she is just infatuated with me but I don't know. Had a fling that lasted almost 2 months and she ended it. And now she wants to go back to being just friends. Appreciate your advice on this.

The "let's just be friends" line means she wants to keep you around as an orbiter (a back up plan) while she money branches around to other guys. Her saying "I want to be in a relationship" is just an excuse she's giving you to not have sex with you.

What I've observed time and time again, is that women will tell you they want a relationship after they've had sex with you, and even if you deny it, if they like you enough they will keep having sex with you.

Basically this woman's attraction has dropped below the level where she'd have sex with you. There could be a number of reasons why, from your poor game, to her high ASD. It's likely a mixture of both.

Move on my friend, find new girls to bang. You may be able to back burner this one, and leave her alone for awhile and then reopen it, but I wouldn't bother.

She says she's infatuated with you but just wants to be friends?
Move on.

It's a shit test. You're making the mistake of listening to a single word she says. In your head you should be thinking, "nod and smile".

For statistical purposes, no girl needs to be in a relationship to have sex. I'm sure they exist but there's no point in believing that because they're so rare.

Before anyone can give you advice, you need to figure out what you want from this girl. She a casual fling? Want her in rotation? Or do you see her as gf material?

^OP. Its a test but rather than a shit test its one to see if you'll invest more.

I call it the "So" test:

Her "So where do see this going?"

Her "So what are we?"

Her "So what am I to you?"

Etc

Its a natural progression since eventually in all FB scenarios someone is likely to catch some/ more feelings.

You can string it along for a while and get more bangs but the timer is about to ding on the "casual" phase.

Scorza, you banged. She ended it. Now you're want to restart. Why?

Heaven forbid you're trying to LTR her, given the flingy history. If you're just trying to have fun, don't invest too much time or effort in the restart.

Hit next like a song you don't like

Veloce, I do see her as gf material as I found out during the fling. I think it's a shit test too but she just doesn't want to commit to a relationship. And yes, like others said, she said she was infatuated with me but no longer likes me. And wants to go back to being friends. We were friends before.

Quote: (08-28-2018 05:54 AM)scorza Wrote:  

Veloce, I do see her as gf material as I found out during the fling. I think it's a shit test too but she just doesn't want to commit to a relationship. And yes, like others said, she said she was infatuated with me but no longer likes me. And wants to go back to being friends. We were friends before.

Bro, you are a "pump and dump" to her. Your reaction is the same as a woman - "Why doesn't he call me?" "Why doesn't he want to see me any more?"

Her game is strong, yours is weak and needy. Learn and move on.

It basically works out like this:
-Girl gets to decide if you can have sex or not.
-Man decides if the sex is converted in a relationship.

Thing is for ugly guys they're probably not going to get ONS with randoms so it's better for them to get multiple girlfriends (easy to pull off in big cities so long as none move in with you and you don't admit to it).

It must be a 2nd / 3rd world thing but I noticed so many chicks are spewing nonsense like they'll only have sex if they're engaged or married. You know it's a lie when you look at teenage abortion statistics, lack of hymens, internet confessions, huge number of prostitutes and so on. It's just one of those "one rule for Chad and another rule for non-Chad" things.

Quote: (08-28-2018 05:54 AM)scorza Wrote:  

Veloce, I do see her as gf material as I found out during the fling. I think it's a shit test too but she just doesn't want to commit to a relationship. And yes, like others said, she said she was infatuated with me but no longer likes me. And wants to go back to being friends. We were friends before.

If she said that directly, that she no longer likes you and wants to go back to being friends, then do like the others say and break off contact. But don't be bitter about it, and don't linger on her. You said or did something that made her unattracted to you. Doesn't really matter what.

It's probably too late for this now, but if a girl says she no longer likes you and wants to go back to being friends, act relieved and say, "Cool, I'm actually relieved you said that." and then bounce from her place.

Your upbeat manner will leave her wondering, "Wait, what the fuck...how is he not even fighting to be with me?" and will get her hamster rolling. There's a chance she might try to stay in contact. Hold strong frame, be super aloof and unavailable. I'd say there's a less than 50% chance of this happening but it definitely does happen. At that point it's your turn to string her along and keep her at arm's distance. If she hits you up wanting to hang out, do it under the premise of hanging out as friends, give her a strong dose of deniable plausibility, then go in for the bang. Keep her on rotation for a few months until she pushes for exclusivity, deny her this and keep her at bay for another month until you finally agree to give her a chance at being your girlfriend, if she meets certain criteria.

Spend a couple years with her making her life a living hell and always leaving her wondering about your degree of commitment, use your aloofness to give her serious self-esteem and confidence issues, until one day you ditch her for someone younger and hotter, taking pleasure in the fact that she wasted her best years with you and now she's damaged goods for the next guy.

At least, it always works for me.

Quote: (08-28-2018 09:51 AM)Martin_l Wrote:  

It basically works out like this:
-Girl gets to decide if you can have sex or not.
-Man decides if the sex is converted in a relationship.

These lines are true.

Quote: (08-28-2018 10:21 PM)Veloce Wrote:  

Quote: (08-28-2018 05:54 AM)scorza Wrote:  

Veloce, I do see her as gf material as I found out during the fling. I think it's a shit test too but she just doesn't want to commit to a relationship. And yes, like others said, she said she was infatuated with me but no longer likes me. And wants to go back to being friends. We were friends before.

If she said that directly, that she no longer likes you and wants to go back to being friends, then do like the others say and break off contact. But don't be bitter about it, and don't linger on her. You said or did something that made her unattracted to you. Doesn't really matter what.

It's probably too late for this now, but if a girl says she no longer likes you and wants to go back to being friends, act relieved and say, "Cool, I'm actually relieved you said that." and then bounce from her place.

Your upbeat manner will leave her wondering, "Wait, what the fuck...how is he not even fighting to be with me?" and will get her hamster rolling. There's a chance she might try to stay in contact. Hold strong frame, be super aloof and unavailable. I'd say there's a less than 50% chance of this happening but it definitely does happen. At that point it's your turn to string her along and keep her at arm's distance. If she hits you up wanting to hang out, do it under the premise of hanging out as friends, give her a strong dose of deniable plausibility, then go in for the bang. Keep her on rotation for a few months until she pushes for exclusivity, deny her this and keep her at bay for another month until you finally agree to give her a chance at being your girlfriend, if she meets certain criteria.

Spend a couple years with her making her life a living hell and always leaving her wondering about your degree of commitment, use your aloofness to give her serious self-esteem and confidence issues, until one day you ditch her for someone younger and hotter, taking pleasure in the fact that she wasted her best years with you and now she's damaged goods for the next guy.

At least, it always works for me.

The line is a) ASD b) commitment/beta/provider trolling or c) an excuse to not have sex (because she has another excuse to not have a "relationship" with you.

Last time I got that line was a few years ago. I just went along with it and sure enough we were fucking like rabbits the next night. My mistake was in taking her words at face value and trying to pursue a relationship with her.

If the chick is a proven good lay then maybe hit the reset button and then stick to the three-date-rule. Escalate and by your actions, reject the LJBF narrative. If it's a resurgent ASD it should pass by date #3. If it is trolling, then the worst case scenario is that she invents a "relationship" and becomes clingy, jealous and mate-guarding, in which case you will have to next her at one point anyways.

Bang first, respond later.

Veloce, appreciate you taking the time to reply. I though of the same idea but I'm 37 now. A few years of trolling is not exactly feasible but I get what you mean. Maybe a few months? No contact rule is in place now. Been more than week since any messages. Let's see how it goes.

66Scorpio,
I'm a Scorpio too. I know I fucked up somewhere along the way. Learned my lesson. And I thought of the rest button idea. There is no contact now. Let's see how it goes.

Quote: (08-30-2018 08:17 AM)scorza Wrote:  

Veloce, appreciate you taking the time to reply. I though of the same idea but I'm 37 now.

So am I. I plan to keep this party going until 45 or so and then I'll get serious

This is what's important:

Is she blowing you? Yes go to A, No go to B:

A) What the fuck do you care?



B) Dump that bitch! (Leykis throwback)

You already had your pump and dump moment, but she's not gf material.

Get rid of her or put her in the rotation.

If the latter, keep track of how much pressure she gives you.

The more pressure she gives, the more you space her out in your lineup.

Find the sweet spot where she is able to handle the frequency without getting too attached.

In this way, she becomes your beta orbiter.

The benefit of being a female beta orbiter is that you actually get laid from time to time.

Abundance. Mentaalittyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. RIP Heartiste.

She meant that the man has to orbit around a woman to have frequent sex.

Quote: (08-28-2018 10:21 PM)Veloce Wrote:  

Spend a couple years with her making her life a living hell and always leaving her wondering about your degree of commitment, use your aloofness to give her serious self-esteem and confidence issues, until one day you ditch her for someone younger and hotter, taking pleasure in the fact that she wasted her best years with you and now she's damaged goods for the next guy.

At least, it always works for me.