Interesting thread.

A few of my own observations regarding Asian girls in this context (I have lived in Asia for a couple years and have had several relationships).

- I have seen this "money behaviour" before with Indonesians in particular. A friend of mine was in a relationship for years with an Indonesian girl, in Indonesia. He took some financial blows and lost his job in a short span of time. In other words, times were going to be tough. What did she do? She ditched him and literally gave him the reason "you can't support me". He was baffled. He also suspects her family and particularly her mom is behind it.

- I have also seen the opposite, with a Vietnamese girl. When times got tough in the relationship (financially), she accepted a temporary lower standard of living and roughed it out with her man. The man had an "I got this" attitude about it, and eventually got his shit together. She supported him all the way through.

- Of course both above cases are separate and we can't generalize entire countries, but when it comes to Indonesians in particular, I have observed gold digging behaviour more often. They can be the friendlist people on earth, until the money stops rolling in. They'll disregard you in an instant, better believe it.

- The family thing is very real and cannot be underestimated. With most Asian girls I've been with, the family was never far away. They give you the idea that you're in control, but they're always hovering in the background, like a plague of mosquitoes just outside of your hammock, waiting to strike. And forget about calling anyone out on it, because you WILL get the passive aggressive treatment and it WILL turn you miserable and bitter. Better to accept it, immerse in it and navigate it.

- If you want to succeed, it is imperative to spend extended time in her country and to learn her culture. An Asian girl studying in Europe is not the same, no matter how many "traditional" and "Asian" traits she displays.

- You will never truly integrate into her family or her country. People will tolerate you, accept you, respect you even, but: you. will. always. be. an. outsider. You can speak the language fluently, you can live in their country for 2 decades, you can raise a family there; but you are still an outsider. In the West, we are already used to being multicultural and people from different backgrounds integrating into families. Forget about it in Asia.

- I agree with the notion of AWALT, but I like to give a different spin to it. Get your shit together, not just financially. Adapt, command respect, be the alpha in her life, navigate her culture. She will fall into your frame just like any other girl. Because: AWALT. It just takes a different approach with different obstacles to overcome. Doesn't mean it's impossible.

Quote: (08-17-2018 01:11 AM)Winston Wolfe Wrote:  

like a plague of mosquitoes just outside of your hammock

What I meant was mosquito net, not hammock. I must have been thinking of the Dutch word for mosquito net, which is klamboe, and my brain decided to fart out "hammock".

Who wants to live in Asia for very long-term anyway... I find it particularly humiliating, the white guys who move to Asia and try their best to adapt to the culture. They look miserable and out of their element. Our culture is already the best, we have the best architecture, music, movies, etc. Why would you want to adapt to an inferior culture of "plague of mosquitoes just outside of your hammock" as mr Wolfe well pinned down... Asia is great for easy bangs though, and that's why I'm here...

I'm glad we have many Chinese girls in France, if I ever want to settle down with one of them I will have my pick (actually my 2 ex-gf were Chinese living in France). They are often quality intelligent girls, who were the best of their schools and studied hard to leave their polluted shithole.

Like a lot of people say, Asia isn't for everybody.

Frankly, if you go into Asia looking for that sweet and feminine unicorn, but don't know anything about their culture or learn their language, you're gonna get eaten alive by these women. That much is true. But that doesn't mean white women are "better" than Asian women. They're just different.

Plus, you'll always be an outsider in Asia, which I've already accepted myself. Even in America, I'm an outsider. Even with many like-minded groups that I've gotten into (e.g. deaf communities, middle eastern communities, etc), I'm still somewhat of an outsider because I did not grow up with them as children or share their native language. So moving to Asia and being an outsider here isn't all that much different to me personally.

Hey, at least I have this forum!

EDIT: I might add that I think the OP is being overly negative about Asian women, but I think this specific case comes down to a less than stellar choice of an individual woman for a LTR, and then broad-brushing it across Asia after the fact.

Quote: (08-17-2018 03:51 AM)pussy sniffer Wrote:  

Who wants to live in Asia for very long-term anyway... I find it particularly humiliating, the white guys who move to Asia and try their best to adapt to the culture. They look miserable and out of their element. Our culture is already the best, we have the best architecture, music, movies, etc. Why would you want to adapt to an inferior culture of "plague of mosquitoes just outside of your hammock" as mr Wolfe well pinned down... Asia is great for easy bangs though, and that's why I'm here...

I'm glad we have many Chinese girls in France, if I ever want to settle down with one of them I will have my pick (actually my 2 ex-gf were Chinese living in France). They are often quality intelligent girls, who were the best of their schools and studied hard to leave their polluted shithole.

I was referring to the family culture in Asia and not to some "inferior culture" as you put it. Those are not my words.

In fact, I don't think Western culture is "the best" at all.

Quote: (08-17-2018 04:13 AM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

EDIT: I might add that I think the OP is being overly negative about Asian women, but I think this specific case comes down to a less than stellar choice of an individual woman for a LTR, and then broad-brushing it across Asia after the fact.

I think at times we need to state the bad, too. I wasn't looking specifically for an Asian woman when I met her so I was certainly naive in the beginning and underestimating the challenges. I learned quite a lot from it, though, and overall it was an eye-opener on women in general. And as a bonus, I got to know a fascinating culture. Today, I don't harbor any more ill feelings toward Asian women than I do toward Western women.

Quote: (08-17-2018 01:11 AM)Winston Wolfe Wrote:  

- I have seen this "money behaviour" before with Indonesians in particular. A friend of mine was in a relationship for years with an Indonesian girl, in Indonesia. He took some financial blows and lost his job in a short span of time. In other words, times were going to be tough. What did she do? She ditched him and literally gave him the reason "you can't support me". He was baffled. He also suspects her family and particularly her mom is behind it.

- I have also seen the opposite, with a Vietnamese girl. When times got tough in the relationship (financially), she accepted a temporary lower standard of living and roughed it out with her man. The man had an "I got this" attitude about it, and eventually got his shit together. She supported him all the way through.

- Of course both above cases are separate and we can't generalize entire countries, but when it comes to Indonesians in particular, I have observed gold digging behaviour more often. They can be the friendlist people on earth, until the money stops rolling in. They'll disregard you in an instant, better believe it.

That happened to me at one point, as well. She was going to dump me over it but ended up supporting me as I managed to convince her that I was going to work my way through it, which I did. So I guess she gave me a chance. But then again, she had nothing to lose and during that time I actually helped her out a lot which may have been reason enough for her to keep me around.

As soon as I got engaged, that totally changed. Although by then I was in a much better position and things were brighter than ever, she wasn't as supportive anymore. Instead, she got very controlling and negative, watching my every move and every penny I spent, and nothing I did was ever good enough anymore. With the courtesy of dear mom, of course.

She did you a favor imo by showing her true colors before the marriage. She could have stuck with you for citizenship reasons and made your life truly miserable.

How did you break up?
Is she still around ?

What were her demands? To get a better job etc? Going on holiday?

At least she didnt ask you to lock the bedroom door at night to stop the ghosts getting in.

It seems to me that most of your problems where because of lack of game, loss of frame and general lack of experience, not because you where dealing with Asian woman.

Great post, mate. I agree with nearly everything you wrote.

I find them a little lacking in personality - haven't met too many well read Asian women.

Quote: (08-19-2018 04:29 AM)flyinghorse Wrote:  

Great post, mate. I agree with nearly everything you wrote.

I find them a little lacking in personality - haven't met too many well read Asian women.

I've talked to many Asian girls and while there's lots of intelligent ones among them, I have to agree - if you're the kind of guy who also seeks some sort of intellectual connection, Asian women aren't a good choice.

Quote: (08-19-2018 04:29 AM)flyinghorse Wrote:  

Great post, mate. I agree with nearly everything you wrote.

I find them a little lacking in personality - haven't met too many well read Asian women.

It would be more accurate if you said "I haven't met too many well read women".

Have Asian girls ever been gold?

I always thought they were bronze at best.

OP was this girl raised in the West or back home? Most Asian girls in the west are to westernized to allow their parents to run their lives.

delete

Quote: (08-16-2018 03:30 PM)EndsExpect Wrote:  

Quote: (08-16-2018 02:23 PM)Rhyme or Reason Wrote:  

Worship of Asian chicks seems to be the forte of geeky and thirsty white dudes. I never understood it. It's not like they're known for having amazing asses or tits. Seems like with any form of pedastalization it's the failure to realize that women will be women, regardless of culture or context.

You have this backwards. Men... and especially low SMV men like the women that like them. That's pretty much the long and the short of it. It isn't the men doing the sexual selection here... it's the women.

Geeky white guys are typically not wanted by thin or attractive white females. Those females want athletes and entertainers. On the other hand, asian women are actually attracted to intelligent men.

I've got a 20 year high school reunion coming up. I'm going to tell you that I see a HUGE trend. The geeky white guys I graduated with are enormously successful financially, most of them working in tech. The former hot young girls fall into two camps. The ones that snagged a good looking semi-succesful guy 10 years ago and are busy raising kids. The second group is currently single... some with kids and some without kids... but generally they were unable to lock down a solid guy.

Now, in previous generations a woman could chase Dbags for 10 years... have a clutch of kids... and then fall back on marrying geeky white guys for financial security.

Today, virtually all the geeky white guys I went to school with are married to asian women. Those women also tend to be intelligent and financially successful.

This is just my observations.

Even though I think the OP is trolling here, I'm chiming in to say I agree 100 percent with EndsExpect's above post. People and the media do have it backwards. White men aren't chasing or "pedestalizing" Asian woman. They're going where they're not getting rejected.

But I'll take it a step further. It's not just "geeky" white guy with Asian woman. I see this trend among average white guys.

Why? Once again, I'll build on EndsExpect's comments.

Back in the 1980s and 1990s, average white guy could expect to meet and marry women of their own race. But sometimes in the 1990s, white women stopped marrying en masse and set off for the city (or "grad school" or somewhere), and didn't want the guys their moms or older sisters married.

That left Asian woman for these men, so that's where they went. And while the old stereotype is the white geek and Asian women, white I'm seeing now is that these white guys play in bands, own business, or are jocks.

If there's blame, don't blame the white guys. As EndsExpect wrote, blame the white women who "don't need a man" or expect movie stars or Superman. I gave EndsExpect a rep point for this all-important comment, which exposes the bullshit lie that the media and pop culture has been selling us. So should you.

Interesting thread.

OP has a point, many western men DO put Asian women on a pedestal. It is not just because they are seen as submissive, girlish, more interesting, but also because of the vast cultural cachet which countries like Japan and China bring. Asian culture is vast, rich and to talk of Asian girls is a bit of a misnomer. While many men think of Japanese or Chinese women when the 'Asian woman' term is raised, of course Asia includes Indonesian, Phil, Viet, many others. Contrary to what some people think Asian culture is richer, and in some ways more attractive than Western Culture. So there is that.

However, I disagree that gold-digging is a particular Asian trait. In the West too women are ALWAYS concerned about financial stability, they simply do not need to focus on it so much as Asians who are often from poorer backgrounds. OP simply had the bad luck to hook up with a well off Indonesian girl and to not be able to have a high paying job. In a way we have to commend Asian women's honesty in openly focusing on the financial aspect, which Western women do too, but much more covertly.

But again, you have to find a woman who is generous herself, I remember an Asian gf who would take ME out for lunch and dinner and buy ME presents. Or else do your best to earn more money. Financial desires have NO end. The poorest Asian girl will want an LV bag, then a Cartier necklace, then a car, a house etc. It never ends in material terms. Then think children. So I strongly disagree with OP's general tone that it is Asian women who we have to particularly look out for in terms of financial demands, those demands will ALWAYS come, whether the chick is from South America, Russia, or Western Europe or the US.

Why is it always the western man or woman that needs to learn, respect and adapt to everyone else's culture and never the other way? Westerners need to start getting their damn pride back and stop being so weak.

Quote: (08-22-2018 08:50 PM)Teutatis Wrote:  

Why is it always the western man or woman that needs to learn, respect and adapt to everyone else's culture and never the other way? Westerners need to start getting their damn pride back and stop being so weak.

If someone is in their house or on their territory, then he needs to learn, respect, and adapt to their culture. Going into someone's house and say "hey, you gotta follow my rules too!" isn't going to go over well.

Same exact thing if we're in the US and we have immigrants demanding that we learn THEIR language instead of them learning English.

It's not a matter of pride or weakness, it's a matter of courtesy.

Op is poor marrying into a rich family. He's the weakling and subject to the stronger party. Nothing to do with pride and everything to do with economics.

Quote: (08-22-2018 09:28 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

Quote: (08-22-2018 08:50 PM)Teutatis Wrote:  

Why is it always the western man or woman that needs to learn, respect and adapt to everyone else's culture and never the other way? Westerners need to start getting their damn pride back and stop being so weak.

If someone is in their house or on their territory, then he needs to learn, respect, and adapt to their culture. Going into someone's house and say "hey, you gotta follow my rules too!" isn't going to go over well.

Same exact thing if we're in the US and we have immigrants demanding that we learn THEIR language instead of them learning English.

It's not a matter of pride or weakness, it's a matter of courtesy.

Did you miss that it was her and her family who were living in Europe and not the other way? By your own words they were the ones who should be the most respectful since they're in someone else's home. And what I said applies to all western world, it's always westerners who in their own countries and societies have to bend over backwards to accommodate everyone else and respect cultural differences but there's no reciprocity.

Quote: (08-22-2018 10:02 PM)Teutatis Wrote:  

Quote: (08-22-2018 09:28 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

Quote: (08-22-2018 08:50 PM)Teutatis Wrote:  

Why is it always the western man or woman that needs to learn, respect and adapt to everyone else's culture and never the other way? Westerners need to start getting their damn pride back and stop being so weak.

If someone is in their house or on their territory, then he needs to learn, respect, and adapt to their culture. Going into someone's house and say "hey, you gotta follow my rules too!" isn't going to go over well.

Same exact thing if we're in the US and we have immigrants demanding that we learn THEIR language instead of them learning English.

It's not a matter of pride or weakness, it's a matter of courtesy.

Did you miss that it was her and her family who were living in Europe and not the other way? By your own words they were the ones who should be the most respectful since they're in someone else's home. And what I said applies to all western world, it's always westerners who in their own countries and societies have to bend over backwards to accommodate everyone else and respect cultural differences but there's no reciprocity.

Alright, yeah, I missed that. But that further proves my point -- his experience was with a rich girl studying in Europe while they were living in Europe, and her parents treating him like shit while they were in Europe.

Then he comes to this forum and proceeds to broad-brush all Asians, at least half of the world's population by conservative estimates, based on his own unique experience.

If the girl's family had the attitude of entering someone else's house and saying "you gotta follow my rules!" and he allowed it, then it's on him. He chose poorly and then turns around and blames all Asians for it.

Quote: (08-19-2018 04:29 AM)flyinghorse Wrote:  

Great post, mate. I agree with nearly everything you wrote.

I find them a little lacking in personality - haven't met too many well read Asian women.

I haven’t met too many well read women in general.