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Advice needed badly, thanks
#1

Advice needed badly, thanks

Hello all, I found this place one month ago and have spent many hours everyday reading up as much as possible. This is an incredible website with so much info I only wished there's something like this for me when I was still young. Would have had a different life for sure.

Since many of the members here are successful, well-traveled and generous with giving out advice I thought it'll be stupid not to try asking here.

I'm a 43 years old Singaporean and currently in a very bad situation. Just went through a divorce and have less than $100 to my name as I've been umemployed for around 5 years. That's the reason for the divorce as my wife couldn't take it anymore when she goes to bed at night and I'm at my pc watching video or playing game and when she wake up in the morning for work I'm still at the pc and when she returned from work I'm still at the pc.

Around 5 years ago we found out suddenly my mum who's never been sick had stage 4B cancer. 3 months later she's gone. She was a young single mum and I'm the only child so we're really really close. I couldn't accept it, still couldn't believe it sometimes. Almost everyday I still can hear her calling out to me or talking to me. After her death, I've lost all motivation in life. Couldn't give a shit about anything. I was basically waiting for my own death. I have went 4 days straight without sleeping, taking a bath or even brushing my teeth. Just sitting there watching video or playing game.

Anyway we're selling our apartment now and I expect to get maybe $20k from there and I'll need to go oversea as it's ridiculously expensive here. I've no qualification at all and any job I can find here at my age will barely be enough to cover accomodation, food and transport.

I was googling around for cheap place to stay and found this forum, the thailand thread. So I read and read and seeing the kind of lifestyle you guys have I might as well try to experience more in life too before it's too late. I mean at 43 now it's already too late but better late than never right?

My plan is to find a cluster of maybe 4 countries with very low cost of living so that I can hop between them due to visa limitations. I'll try to be one of those location-independent and generate some income online after reading through the threads here about niche websites, Merch by Amazon etc (got rejected twice already by amazon).

Another reason I wanna go oversea is I'm lazy and I think I've higher chance to succeed once I'm all alone oversea with little money since I don't have any other choice but to do or die. Burning the boats strategy.


Where would you go if you're me? With my Singapore passport there's many places I can go but none I can stay for long.

Part of me really wanna visit europe as life is so unpredictable and I could just go suddenly like my mum so I hope I can visit as many places in europe and in general before my time on earth is up. I don't really care about quality of life as with the little money I have I'm basically gonna have to slum it no matter where I go.

Should I just hop around SEA between Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos?
Should I go straight to europe and travel between the 3rd, 4th tier FSU, Baltic, Slavic cities?
Or should I go to South America or the Stan countries?

Please advise. Thanks very much for your time.

ps this is not a troll thread, if necessary I can share proof of years of unemployment, bank statement, passport etc with mods or Mr Roosh V himself.
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#2

Advice needed badly, thanks

Ok guys lets be nice here.

Although i have no expertise on the subject, there's a lot of information on here on how to start. You've said you've been reading this site for a while now so just go into more detail when you search things

Good luck and i pray the people on here have better advice. Also sorry for your loss and divorce
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#3

Advice needed badly, thanks

Compartmentalize the advice you are going to get-

Group 1—technical advice on where to go, how to earn.
Group 2- the cold wet bitch slap of reality and advice that you are dreaming, need to research more and need to man the fuck up
Group 3- technical advice on how to look after yourself and take better care of yourself whilst establishing why you ended up this way.

Don't let problems/arguments over one group of advice get I the way of making use of the rest of the information you get.
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#4

Advice needed badly, thanks

Things to bear in mind when replying;
- Singapore lacks any government payments for the unemployed.
- No country gives seasonal agricultural visas to unskilled people over 35.

Generating income online isn't as easy as the adverts say. It's not something to bootstrap any plans around, especially in an unfamiliar environment. Maybe you could do low paid Chinese to English translation, but I am not an expert on the industry.

How good is your English? Cambodia still offers English teaching visas without a degree?

I think the best immediate course of action is to reconcile with your wife.
I can help you with blocking all videos and web-browsers during the morning/night to help you focus better. She tolerated your time-wasting for 5 years, I think she'll give it another chance if you show your commitment to change.

After all, the marriage market isn't easy for a 40 something woman from a place surrounded by poorer countries full of girls younger and more engaging than she is. You won't be the only one helped if the marriage is saved.

I can probably convince her for you as this is one of the few areas I consider myself to be a top 99% expert. I can help if you are willing to give up late night browsing.

PM me your contact details if you want to talk more privately.
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#5

Advice needed badly, thanks

Go to South America and have a cup of Ayahuasca while you're down there
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#6

Advice needed badly, thanks

Life is never fair.
Although uncontrolled video game habits has been detrimental for you.

Are you sure you want to live further east in Europe?
You have to keep in mind the language barrier and if you are used to living in the Asia-Pacific region keep in mind the colder climate in Europe.
Men will go to these places to make romance to local women which is what this forum is more catered to.

If women are not your top priority then you should remain in South-East Asia where the cost of living outside of Singapore is low.

As for making money I was approved to open a Merch by Amazon quicker than I thought.
You cannot just put on a design, throw it up and expect it to sell right away.
Each design you submit takes nearly a week to approve.
With the low profit margins you are better off putting more money to drive paid traffic to a Shopify Print on Demand store.
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#7

Advice needed badly, thanks

Quote: (08-16-2018 12:45 AM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  

Ok guys lets be nice here.

Although i have no expertise on the subject, there's a lot of information on here on how to start. You've said you've been reading this site for a while now so just go into more detail when you search things

Good luck and i pray the people on here have better advice. Also sorry for your loss and divorce

Thanks. One of the problem reading a lot of threads is conflicting answers. For example in one thread you'll have people singing praises of living in Lviv from 4 years back and another thread from around the same period saying how shitty it is. I guess best thing to do is actually going there myself.

Quote: (08-16-2018 02:54 AM)Hephaestus Wrote:  

Generating income online isn't as easy as the adverts say. It's not something to bootstrap any plans around, especially in an unfamiliar environment.

How good is your English? Cambodia still offers English teaching visas without a degree?

I think the best immediate course of action is to reconcile with your wife.
She tolerated your time-wasting for 5 years.

My english isn't that good, I hardly spoke to anyone in the last 5 years and have forgotten much about grammar.

The last thing I want now is to reconcile with her. If I wanted to I could have prevented the whole divorce by being sweet to her for a couple of days.

She could have found my time-wasting more tolerable because until maybe 6 months or 1 year ago all the bills were deducted from my bank account. I had some money and my mum left me around $100k from her insurance and CPF (similar to the US social security I think, not very sure). Thanks.

Quote: (08-16-2018 06:15 AM)JekyllAndHyde Wrote:  

Are you sure you want to live further east in Europe?
You have to keep in mind the language barrier and if you are used to living in the Asia-Pacific region keep in mind the colder climate in Europe.
Men will go to these places to make romance to local women which is what this forum is more catered to.

If women are not your top priority then you should remain in South-East Asia where the cost of living outside of Singapore is low.

As for making money I was approved to open a Merch by Amazon quicker than I thought.
You cannot just put on a design, throw it up and expect it to sell right away.
Each design you submit takes nearly a week to approve.
With the low profit margins you are better off putting more money to drive paid traffic to a Shopify Print on Demand store.

Not gonna lie, obviously I hope one day to have women in my life but right now I absolutely know that I'm of zero value so my only focus is making money, once I have a certain amount of income I have one less thing to worry and any extra I can generate will just give me better options. Thanks.

I look at Merch as basically free money (if manage to sell obviously) [Image: smile.gif]
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#8

Advice needed badly, thanks

dfgdfgdfg, one thing you should do is to reflect on events of your past that have brought you to your current situation.
Then you'll start questioning some things about yourself. The most important & difficult part is unlearning incorrect or misguided attitudes & beliefs you subconsciously hold.

It's best not to go all in and make your next move without a clear plan.
Take your time and focus on a small goal, then finding a way to achieve it. Repeat with the next goal, and so on.
Start with the most urgent goal for your situation.

"For precept must be upon precept,
precept upon precept;
line upon line, line upon line;
here a little, and there a little"
Whatever your short/long term goals are, search around the forum & learn what you can understand, with the intent of providing yourself a meaningful purpose.
At some point during your reflection, you may experience your awakening. Then you can move forward to a different future.
You'll begin to understand how much work will be required in order to achieve your dream.



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#9

Advice needed badly, thanks

If you are set on leaving Singapor I would look to move to a place where you have a fair amount of Singaporean tourists and start a business as tourist guide, private taxi, rent accommodation for a commission or something along those lines.
I suspect you have high social anxiety and being out there with people is going to help you enormously. If you run an online business you would just isolate yourself further at this time.

Money wise - You said that you are waiting for $20k to arrive. Only take 5k of them and travel with that amount, absolutely block the access to the rest of the money for at least 6 months. Ask your bank to invest these money and freeze them for that period of time.
If you have never lived alone abroad there is a fair chance that you will burn cash fast at the beginning and having a limited amount of money will make your head spin fast on how to make money (not starving is a big motivator in life). You will find way to make cash that you never thought about before (hopefully not illegal).

Wish you good luck you'll need it man.
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#10

Advice needed badly, thanks

If you go to ___ and take the same set of thoughts and beliefs you will get the same result as in Singapore. This isn't an issue of cost of living. If you are looking to re-create your failed lifestyle in ___ you will reach $100 again, slowly like you did this time.

What you have shown here by posting is a need to deal with the cash emergency. But do you have willingness to address the problems you describe in your post? Specifically you refuse to define and name your skills and leave the house in an attempt to deploy then in the marketplace. You prefer the digital rewards of stories, shocking web pages, likes, and porn over real results in the real world. You have a ready made excuse that somehow you will only get a job that pays lower than the cost of living. THEREFORE you don't have to do SHIT and failure is averted through guaranteed failure. How convenient. You lived this excuse for years seemingly off your ex if one reads between the lines.

You refuse to even ATTEMPT to do something, but you come here asking for an escape route? I can see you in the near future in some nasty corner of a shithole country, living in some forgotten area in a partial excuse for an apartment, sitting there all day surrounded by the voices of mal-content, shrill, short women with non-descript bodies, on the streets and in neighboring buildings, with all the other men in the neighborhood kicked out dutifully at 6 am to do their working class chores and jobs, returning in the afternoon banging doors, interrupting your nap beneath the messy hundreds of crossed telephone and power lines that line your street.

Self pity is a disease and a kind of sick addiction. You can rise above your luxury of depression in a matter of hours. Go flip burgers (or the Singaporean equivalent) with such fervor and pleasing attitude that the world opens up.

You won't get your wife back but you might get your life back.
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#11

Advice needed badly, thanks

You have to get the money situation sorted out first. Frankly, without pre-existing skills, making any significant amount of money online is probably not going to happen soon.

Take a shit job and try to save. You don't want to end up broke in an unfamiliar country where you have no work visa.

Where are you living -- still in the apartment with your wife?

You said you don't want to get back together with your wife -- why not? She seems to have the patience of a saint.
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#12

Advice needed badly, thanks

Consider selling everything you own and getting a job working in a hostel somewhere. They have a website out there where you can work at hostels in exchange for free rent. You might make some friends also which you probably need.

I don't see you changing anything in your life unless you make drastic changes and change everything that you know.

Stop the victim mentality. Singapore has an average IQ of 108. You're not dealing with poor genetics. There really isn't any excuse. You can learn many things if you devote the time you used to spend playing video games to reading books and watching tutorials online.

Also, life is rough and people die. We've all lost someone we care about but we still brush our teeth and shower.
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#13

Advice needed badly, thanks

If you only got 20k stay in SEA until youre making money. If youre not employable I would bounce between northern thialand and Laos as much as possible as they are both cheap, Laos in particular is very low cost of living. Maybe stay in vang viang, party a bit and quit pc games and work till you make some online income then go from there
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#14

Advice needed badly, thanks

What are you going to do when the $20k runs out? Even in low cost of living places in SEA thats not going to last more than 18 or so months.

If you can't get a job in your home country you're going to struggle even harder to do so in a foreign one where you don't speak the language, have no local connections, and may not have a valid visa to work. You live in a wealthy, developed, country, you need to get a job there. Even if its a crappy job, it'll get you income coming in so you won't starve. Thats the first step you need to take before planning any move to anywhere else.
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#15

Advice needed badly, thanks

Quote: (08-16-2018 08:32 AM)Off The Reservation Wrote:  

mal-content, shrill, short women with non-descript bodies, on the streets and in neighboring buildings, with all the other men in the neighborhood kicked out dutifully at 6 am to do their working class chores and jobs

Datasheet on banging these women?
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#16

Advice needed badly, thanks

Quote: (08-16-2018 06:31 PM)WombRaider Wrote:  

Quote: (08-16-2018 08:32 AM)Off The Reservation Wrote:  

mal-content, shrill, short women with non-descript bodies, on the streets and in neighboring buildings, with all the other men in the neighborhood kicked out dutifully at 6 am to do their working class chores and jobs

Datasheet on banging these women?

Let's just say, as those that know me might, I have a honed interest in certain women that doesn't seem to include the ones I described in that post.

[Image: laugh7.gif]
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#17

Advice needed badly, thanks

$20K, even if it's US$, not Singaporean $, is not enough to move to a foreign country at age 43 and hope things will work out.

You live in a rich country where I'm sure plenty of jobs are available. Harden the fuck up and get a job, any job. Then keep looking and get a higher paying job and/or a job with better work conditions. Look for opportunities to become location independent and/or work abroad in the meantime. When you have saved at least 6 figures US$, you can take more risks.

You mentioned you couldn't even get registered to sell on Amazon. This business is so competitive that getting registered is like 0.1% of the challenge. This is one of the things can keep trying while you are working a regular job and earning money, but definitely don't count on it as a source of income. Not to discourage you, but you'll probably fail at one or two business ventures before you find your niche. A safer but less attractive option is exchanging time for money, something like teaching English abroad. However, as I mentioned above, you need a good amount of savings to start taking risks whether it's a location independent business or freelance work.

Unfortunately, there are no easy ways. You have fallen behind but you are still not too old to rebuild your life. Best of luck.
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#18

Advice needed badly, thanks

Very solid advice from so many previous posters. The forum is truly a gold mine of knowledge and wisdom.

My thoughts, plain and simple:

$20K is enough to survive in the short-term for a year in a dirt cheap place, but what will you do after that? You have no other funds to rely upon. The worst part about traveling on a low savings budget is the constant stress of what you will do after your money runs out - this thought will constantly be in your head even if you are taking time off and vacationing

Even worse, you're constantly going to be worried about your life situation as well if you decide to just pack your bags and live in some cheaper shithole. Moving to another place isn't going to be fun and isn't going to solve your problems - you're still going to feel like your life isn't set and will be constantly worried about money

Get your finances in place first. As you get yourself in a better financial position, you will feel better about yourself and be able to make better plans

I would advise working as much as you can in any job for a year or two in Singapore or another country where the wages are high and saving up as much as you can. I know you mentioned that it is hard to get a job in Singapore, but there must be something out there for you - if you try hard enough, you will find a job. Once you have at least $50K in the bank then you can start thinking about taking a few months off. I'm a big fan of having savings that would amount to at least 2 years of a safety net if I didn't work.

If you really need a few months off, then go ahead and take it. You do have some money in your bank account and seems like you are stressed out. But definitely keep it short and find a way to make money ASAP
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#19

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OP get a job in Singapore and then live in Johor.
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#20

Advice needed badly, thanks

Quote: (08-16-2018 08:32 AM)Off The Reservation Wrote:  

If you go to ___ and take the same set of thoughts and beliefs you will get the same result as in Singapore. This isn't an issue of cost of living. If you are looking to re-create your failed lifestyle in ___ you will reach $100 again, slowly like you did this time.

What you have shown here by posting is a need to deal with the cash emergency. But do you have willingness to address the problems you describe in your post? Specifically you refuse to define and name your skills and leave the house in an attempt to deploy then in the marketplace. You prefer the digital rewards of stories, shocking web pages, likes, and porn over real results in the real world. You have a ready made excuse that somehow you will only get a job that pays lower than the cost of living. THEREFORE you don't have to do SHIT and failure is averted through guaranteed failure. How convenient. You lived this excuse for years seemingly off your ex if one reads between the lines.

You refuse to even ATTEMPT to do something, but you come here asking for an escape route? I can see you in the near future in some nasty corner of a shithole country, living in some forgotten area in a partial excuse for an apartment, sitting there all day surrounded by the voices of mal-content, shrill, short women with non-descript bodies, on the streets and in neighboring buildings, with all the other men in the neighborhood kicked out dutifully at 6 am to do their working class chores and jobs, returning in the afternoon banging doors, interrupting your nap beneath the messy hundreds of crossed telephone and power lines that line your street.

Self pity is a disease and a kind of sick addiction. You can rise above your luxury of depression in a matter of hours. Go flip burgers (or the Singaporean equivalent) with such fervor and pleasing attitude that the world opens up.

You won't get your wife back but you might get your life back.

Excellent advice and so well put. Not too shrill or condescending.

But like has been said you have some personal issues that you need to work on and do it in a hurry. Get a job any job. Even if it is scrubbing toilets and only for a few hours a day. Take pride in your work and that work will be your salvation. Build from there

You have to figure out why you have no motivation or desire to do anything at 43. That is going to be a much harder step. Start by implementing a small amount of discipline in your life. Such as getting out of the house every day. Unplug the computer for an extended period of time. When you master this do it for a longer and a longer period of time. While out of the house start looking for a simple job. Entry level and simple at first. These jobs suck but it is only a stepping stone. That's what the crazy leftists don't get about flipping burgers. It is only a first step most people in those jobs are gone to something better within a year.

Use this wonderful leg up in our system to get you started.

Do not move anywhere else. You will make it harder on yourself. Besides your moving is just another attempt to escape your life. Get engaged in your life. Do you have any friends or other family?

"Go get yourself some"
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#21

Advice needed badly, thanks

This is a hail mary option, but you could go Venezuala and get rich or die trying. Not a great plan, but its an option. 20k USD can also give you a comfortable year living in Buenos Aires, the Chinese community is big in influence there. Burn the boats strategy can work, or it can kill. Why not act locally first as though you've already burned the boat?

Before you do anything big you might want to consider eating a solid diet of humility for a year or two. Get a humble job. Try to save more money than you spend off of that. If you can do that you know your floor.
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#22

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Whats the latest op?
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#23

Advice needed badly, thanks

Come to the Republic of Georgia (see the flag on my username).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visa_policy_of_Georgia

You can get a 360 day visa by just showing up and you can reset it with a border run. Apartments are $200 - $500 a month and supermarket prices are low.

With your money I would rent the tiniest commercial space within a touristy area of Tbilisi or Batumi and try to sell alcohol / food to tourists. I've not seen any Asian men selling food in Georgia so you might be a novelty if you try it.

One expat man I have met in Batumi is from Germany and he does that.

https://www.bedandbreakfast.eu/bed-and-b...r/4275345/

I'm not sure if he's following the law 100% but he's renting out a cheap ass bed to random tourists and at night he's selling beer / wine to hipsters that show up at his bar.
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#24

Advice needed badly, thanks

In my mind, OP is a obese person trying to go on a diet for the first time in his life at age 43, but reality is that diets have a greater than 95% failure rate because people don't actually change their behavioral habits. Reading what he wrote, it's not about knowing the steps to success or whatever, but his mindset that's toxic. He wrote that if he knew all this info when he was younger, his life would be different, but all the info on how to properly diet is far more accessible than ever before and obesity rates are higher than ever before.
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#25

Advice needed badly, thanks

Hey,

Thank you for sharing the above information. :-)
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