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How do you deal with infatuation
09-07-2017, 03:13 PM
You've met a girl, fucked her well and eventually found out that she's also interesting.
She has something special that, of course, doesn't mean that she's the one and only, but still... She is funny, she reads the same books as you, likes your humour, says genuinely interesting stuff - whatever you care about. And just like that, you are infatuated with her.
So now, you've got all these other girls texting you, and girls sucking you off and what not, but she's the one you wanna meet and talk, almost to the point that any interaction with other girls is less exciting and appealing. How do you guys deal with that? How do you deal with the moments in your life when you are infatuated with a specific girl? Do you enjoy it? Do you try to drown it out?
I'm not talking about oneitis per se, because oneitis implies a 'need'. A belief that this is the one and only. I'm also not talking about a girl you haven't fucked it, and I'm not talking about your girlfriend that you put on a pedestal.
Just wondering if you guys think having periods like this is good or bad, and what you do about it.
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How do you deal with infatuation
09-07-2017, 03:23 PM
There is no such thing as the one.
There is no such thing as a true love.
There is no such thing as a soul mate.
Infatuation is another word for oneitis, so yes, you have oneitis.
There is NOTHING wrong with enjoying one girl that you like having around.
Of course you should hangout with her, it's clear she compliments your life.
However, you should slow your roll, and pull back a little bit, make sure she enjoys you just as much as you enjoy her.
Don't hang out or talk to her too much.
I get it, I know you're stoked, you're smiling, you're happy, you're excited, but pump the brakes a little.
Let her give you the "what are we" talk first, don't pull the trigger on anything, but make sure you're the man and lead her.
You've only known her a short time probably, so you need time to vet her, and get to know alot more of her.
As for in the moment, enjoy it, keep fucking her, but don't send any signals yet about a relationship and/or dating.
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How do you deal with infatuation
09-07-2017, 03:31 PM
Just think about all the other cocks she is sucking off when you're not together.
I know, I know. "She really likes you and isn't that type of girl". Maybe she is today, but tomorrow is a new day.
Such is the nature of women.
"Once you've gotten the lay you have won."- Mufasa
"You Miss 100% of the shots you don't take"- Wayne Gretzky
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How do you deal with infatuation
09-07-2017, 03:51 PM
Been thinking about this as well lately. And let's not kid ourselves; the way you phrase your OP implies something akin to a 'oneitis', aka. THAT girl that keeps occupying your thoughts. Especially when you have established abundance.
Right now, I'd ask why fight those feelings?
There's nothing wrong with getting feels - after all they're there for a reason if the girl in question is really "your type" - but be careful on acting on feels before a true relationship is established and defined.
Enjoy it as long as you can keep being the cool guy that initially got her into bed. Drown it out if it makes you want to triple-text her when she hasn't responded to you for 3 hours.
Certain phrases are rehashed here in order to forge and maintain a certain coldness, like "Hoes ain't shit" etc. I don't disagree with them 100% since the have a use, but the fact is that unless you're a stone-cold playa you're going to fall for a girl hard at some point, and hopefully she'll fall for you too.
I say enjoy the ride. It may fade, like love usually does (paraphrasing LINUX). Be grateful that you have it in you to establish and form that kind of connection; you will be richer from the experience.
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How do you deal with infatuation
09-07-2017, 03:59 PM
The minute you can't feel anything, is the minute you are dead. Don't be afraid of your pair bonding ability, celebrate it.
Its how we raise kids that need a decade or more of parental care to survive in our complex world, we are a high offspring investment species, and thats the mechanism that makes it happen.
Having feelings, and being a beta pussy are two different things however. The real struggle is to maintain frame when you have strong emotions and investment.
Enjoy the feels, but carefully monitor your frame and don't slip into being a hen pecked beta pussy.
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How do you deal with infatuation
03-09-2018, 01:17 PM
Quote: (09-07-2017 03:23 PM)kaotic Wrote:
There is no such thing as the one.
There is no such thing as a true love.
There is no such thing as a soul mate.
Infatuation is another word for oneitis, so yes, you have oneitis.
There is NOTHING wrong with enjoying one girl that you like having around.
Of course you should hangout with her, it's clear she compliments your life.
However, you should slow your roll, and pull back a little bit, make sure she enjoys you just as much as you enjoy her.
Don't hang out or talk to her too much.
I get it, I know you're stoked, you're smiling, you're happy, you're excited, but pump the brakes a little.
Let her give you the "what are we" talk first, don't pull the trigger on anything, but make sure you're the man and lead her.
You've only known her a short time probably, so you need time to vet her, and get to know alot more of her.
As for in the moment, enjoy it, keep fucking her, but don't send any signals yet about a relationship and/or dating.
what utter shit advice..... If there wasn't the one, Id never get married and be a degenerate.
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How do you deal with infatuation
03-09-2018, 02:22 PM
Quote: (03-09-2018 01:21 PM)kaotic Wrote:
Quote: (03-09-2018 01:17 PM)Spartacus Wrote:
Quote: (09-07-2017 03:23 PM)kaotic Wrote:
There is no such thing as the one.
There is no such thing as a true love.
There is no such thing as a soul mate.
Infatuation is another word for oneitis, so yes, you have oneitis.
There is NOTHING wrong with enjoying one girl that you like having around.
Of course you should hangout with her, it's clear she compliments your life.
However, you should slow your roll, and pull back a little bit, make sure she enjoys you just as much as you enjoy her.
Don't hang out or talk to her too much.
I get it, I know you're stoked, you're smiling, you're happy, you're excited, but pump the brakes a little.
Let her give you the "what are we" talk first, don't pull the trigger on anything, but make sure you're the man and lead her.
You've only known her a short time probably, so you need time to vet her, and get to know alot more of her.
As for in the moment, enjoy it, keep fucking her, but don't send any signals yet about a relationship and/or dating.
what utter shit advice..... If there wasn't the one, Id never get married and be a degenerate.
Fuck off troll, you'll be banned soon enough you soy boy.
What about those couples who meet when young, get married and stay together? how is that not one true love?
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How do you deal with infatuation
03-09-2018, 02:27 PM
Spartacus you want to stop spamming the forum with useless 1 or 2 word replies followed by ellipses? You're last poster on the whole 2 front pages and as far as I can tell have added nothing of value.
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How do you deal with infatuation
03-09-2018, 03:53 PM
I know three women who gave their kidney to their partners.
Still think marriage is good pursuing with a woman who will satisfy my needs.
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How do you deal with infatuation
03-09-2018, 09:05 PM
I was infatuated with a girl last summer. Personal 9, cool as fuck. Looking back it's blows my mind some of the things I said and did. Nothing too bad but I still let emotion reign over reason for a bit; haven't caught feels like that in years. Next time it happens I will apply the lessons learned. One of which is "less is more." Simple but very effective with women