I need help my fellow camaradas.

I will try to express myself with my shitty English;although Im not a casanova by any means (Im a fucking beta, I recognise, trying to improve) I can start talking to a girl that I dont know, make her laugh and all, have her completely ready for anything and then... Im not able to close the deal; i cant kiss her, dont make me start talking about more serious stuff; I get paralyzed, I fear rejection a lot (I dont mind if I start talking to her and she doesnt seem interested, but trying to kiss a girl and having her moving away is one of my biggest fears ).

The girl has to make the moves for me, and that is quite difficult in a country like Spain.

Any advice? I know this is a widely explored issue, but I would GREATLY appreciate any tip

Go back to the basics. Start by going out with really good hygiene, the clothes you feel best about, very clean and pressed, shoes looking good, etc.

Go out feeling like "this is my good day."

Go back to the basics of the girls you know. Call them all one by one and ask to do something really simple. Like tapas or whatever you Spanish people do.

Keep doing this over and over. Take the lead on one thing at a time and then the steps and things you take the lead on will grow.

Take the lead with your appearance and with calls and with inviting them to tapas. Then add steps.

I agree with OTR and would like to build on his post.

You lack a sense of entitlement to that pussy.

Look at yourself in the mirror, would you fuck yourself if you were a girl?

If not, make an action plan to make yourself the most attractive person you can be.

The sense of entitlement comes from confidence. Guys who get laid on the reg have no problems because they have this entitlement and know for every woman that isn't interested, there's another 4-5.

Mediterranean girls have a flaw of playing a bit too hard to get.

Game works but you also need to put yourself out there more.

You are getting them into conversations and chatting -> this is energy

Direct that energy towards the bedroom -> this is sexual progression

Invade their personal space, be sexual and eliminate any obstacles (as OTR summarized).

The sexuality and desire arises from your entitlement (sex is natural and enjoyable, a way of life), wanting to share a mutually explosive night and to make them come back for more.

When you have the ability to make any woman orgasm multiple times (this is easy), the sexual confidence is there. You have the power, you hold the cards. Your decisions become natural and the opportunity cost is on her, not you.

You just gotta join in on the fun. Allow yourself to. If you are unsure then fine. You need to start somewhere. Mistakes will happen. If those mistakes worry you then that's healthy. Find girls who aren't in your social circle and flirt with them.

Get into 'state'. The feeling that you can conquer any interaction, make any person feel good and have a good time.

Focus on having a good time + direct non-verbals and you will be in there.

The girls want to be fucked, you gotta just put yourself forward as the one who is going to fuck them.

This sounds esoteric so start with OTRs method to eliminate any traps your mind may set up.

You sound young so you have time. The less you stress about pussy, the more it comes to you.

I'll keep it basic.

Don't focus on your mind telling you it's a bad idea.

Focus on permitting yourself to have fun with this girl.

If you're doing it right, she will have sex with you.

Do that right and it's not a problem anymore.

Non-verbals mean all the non-verbal sexual communication.

- the way you look at them, at their eyes (one form was triangular gazing where you look at each of their eyes and mouth). I do this with every girl when shes talking, switch between their eyes and they usually get flustered.

- the way you are confident with your body language, you take up space and bring them in. You are bold and get their skin hot and heartbeat racing. You put your arm around her confidently, you grab her hand when you are walking together, you place your hand between her thigh when she is sitting next to you. I have hooked up with women in < 5 minutes through body language alone.

- the tonality of your voice/way you say things. You know when to be reassuring in times of sexual peak. When to be challenging in times of high tension.

- you are comfortable with the sexual energy and can direct it.

- you allow yourself to immerse yourself in the moment of flirting, biting your lip, touching her erogenous zones (neck/wrists and the obvious ones when the timing is correct). Playing with their hair is a good litmus test. I will touch their ears too. It also lets me in on how sexually comfortable they generally are.

I personally will throw out some sexually suggestive jokes here and there but most of my sexual energy is through non-verbals. It also frames it as the 'it just happened'. Girls will tell me they could 'just feel it'.


Start with OTRs method of eliminating any obvious pitfalls and work on your sexual energy and entitlement.

Stop watching porn. Visualize what you will do to girls and how fantastic it would be.

Create a sexual bubble of one-ness where it's you and her vs. the world. Where you both are a team and sex is the end-game. Believe this and she will believe this too. If you want it, she will want it too.

A lot of old-school game is based off this. The fuck marry kill game, the cube, all this shit. It's building a framework of you and her being partners and getting that energy and trust.

The responsibility falls 100% on you. They want to fuck, they just want you to be the guy they imagine you to be so it's your game to lose.

In summary:

- confidence/entitlement

- sexual energy via your body language

- bubble of one-ness to create that trust and mutual attraction

Who doesn't want to feel special with another person, even if it's just for one night?

I meet women sometimes and we get so carried away in our conversation/interaction that I forget I have a girlfriend, a life or any responsibilities outside of this woman 20cm from my face.

It can be powerful if you understand it, channel it and permit it.

These changes won't happen overnight but they will happen.

Keep doing what you're doing and have self-trust.

Women are there for the taking, if you ain't getting laid then you know you have some more work to put in so never get discouraged!

Don't ask for permission, ask for forgiveness - Ayn Rand (roughly along those lines)

Sounds like you are good at making girls comfortable around you. Thats good. Very good because comfort is a critical part of the process (without it they will just go away)

Here are a few tips to build on the comfort and create attraction .

Accidental / casual touching is a way to break the contact barrier.

1.When possible sit next to her not across. This way your knees can "accidently" form time to time. This "innocent" cotanct helps build the sexual tension...aka "tingles"

2. If she's wearing jewelry ask her about it. If she's wearing a bracelet grab the hand she's wearing it on and say "That's a cool bracelet. Where did you get it?" Keep looking at it as she tells you the story then just make something up "It reminds me of the bracelets the women in Bali wear when they want to signal that they are single" (or some other such bullshit story...have fun with it....the more you do this the better at it you'll get)

The same thing works for necklaces, and earrings (just put your finger tips behind the item as you ask)

This does two things: Allows you to casually make physical contact without it seeming like a big deal and the story allows you to indirectly drop important information "value" on yourself : you travel, youre experienced, cultured....interesting. That is the most important thing to "be" if you want to create "attraction". The worst thing to be is boring Youre going to need stories to tell (but thats another topic)

3. Look her in the eye when speaking to her. Holding eye contact is super important. When she's talking alternate between her eyes and her lips. This is very suggestive to girls. They know you want to fuck their mouth and are thinking about it but the fact that its not being talked about is very exciting....the opposite of boring

4. Sexual-ize the conversation subtly as quickly as possible. For example for years I used a routine I called "Evan and Mongo" (this works really well with groups of two or more girls) Basically Id ask girls what they wanted in a guy (this is automatically leading the discussion towards sex...the most interesting subject there is to girls) . Id always get the "Im looking for a guy who's funny, sensitive, smart....yadayadayada" Then Id say "ok Well I have two friends Evan and Mongo. Tell me which one sounds more interesting to you. Evan is sensitive guy who writes poetry, plays acoustic guitar, does volunteer work at the homeless shelter,,,,blah bla blah" Basically to girls this guy sounds like a boring phag

Her/them "What about the other guy, what's his name?...Mongo?"

This is where I'd smile to myself

PT "Well Mongo is the complete opposite of Evan. He's more of a cave man"


Her "Oooh how so?"

PT "Well Mongo is the kind of guy that will just come over to your house, pull you down by your hair , rip your clothes off and jungle fuck the shit out of you within an inch of your life"

Girls reactions then progress from



to



then



"OMG!.."

Convo sexualization achievement unlocked. Note though I did this indirectly by making it about third parties (Evan and Mongo) they know that I knowwhat's up. From there its a playful mock hair pulling, grab assing, manhandling and a very short transition to make out then bang. Pulled a few 3 ways this way

Customized for situation, personalty, etc...this was my go to for years

Hope this helps

Play on

If I may, that right there by Noir was clearly the..

Quote: (07-14-2017 11:22 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

Sounds like you are good at making girls comfortable around you. Thats good. Very good because comfort is a critical part of the process (without it they will just go away)

Here are a few tips to build on the comfort and create attraction .

Accidental / casual touching is a way to break the contact barrier.

1.When possible sit next to her not across. This way your knees can "accidently" form time to time. This "innocent" cotanct helps build the sexual tension...aka "tingles"

2. If she's wearing jewelry ask her about it. If she's wearing a bracelet grab the hand she's wearing it on and say "That's a cool bracelet. Where did you get it?" Keep looking at it as she tells you the story then just make something up "It reminds me of the bracelets the women in Bali wear when they want to signal that they are single" (or some other such bullshit story...have fun with it....the more you do this the better at it you'll get)

The same thing works for necklaces, and earrings (just put your finger tips behind the item as you ask)

This does two things: Allows you to casually make physical contact without it seeming like a big deal and the story allows you to indirectly drop important information "value" on yourself : you travel, youre experienced, cultured....interesting. That is the most important thing to "be" if you want to create "attraction". The worst thing to be is boring Youre going to need stories to tell (but thats another topic)

3. Look her in the eye when speaking to her. Holding eye contact is super important. When she's talking alternate between her eyes and her lips. This is very suggestive to girls. They know you want to fuck their mouth and are thinking about it but the fact that its not being talked about is very exciting....the opposite of boring

4. Sexual-ize the conversation subtly as quickly as possible. For example for years I used a routine I called "Evan and Mongo" (this works really well with groups of two or more girls) Basically Id ask girls what they wanted in a guy (this is automatically leading the discussion towards sex...the most interesting subject there is to girls) . Id always get the "Im looking for a guy who's funny, sensitive, smart....yadayadayada" Then Id say "ok Well I have two friends Evan and Mongo. Tell me which one sounds more interesting to you. Evan is sensitive guy who writes poetry, plays acoustic guitar, does volunteer work at the homeless shelter,,,,blah bla blah" Basically to girls this guy sounds like a boring phag

Her/them "What about the other guy, what's his name?...Mongo?"

This is where I'd smile to myself

PT "Well Mongo is the complete opposite of Evan. He's more of a cave man"


Her "Oooh how so?"

PT "Well Mongo is the kind of guy that will just come over to your house, pull you down by your hair , rip your clothes off and jungle fuck the shit out of you within an inch of your life"

Girls reactions then progress from



to



then



"OMG!.."

Convo sexualization achievement unlocked. Note though I did this indirectly by making it about third parties (Evan and Mongo) they know that I knowwhat's up. From there its a playful mock hair pulling, grab assing, manhandling and a very short transition to make out then bang. Pulled a few 3 ways this way

Customized for situation, personalty, etc...this was my go to for years

Hope this helps

Play on

I like Evan&Mongo story, but how can you tell it with a straight face....?
I sense that if I were to tell this story I would inadvertently start laughing..... Well, pick up is absurd, but how far it can go, and how it make to go so....?

God, that was really good information guys.

Yesterday this gorgeous girl (I would rate her a 7, my friends later told me she was like a 9, but here in Spain most guys would fuck anything with a vagina) started talking to me in a "botellon" (typical outdoor Spanish party), all my friends looking quite jealously hahaha, i grabbed her by the waist, you know, I dont have problems making some physical contact, and then, we started talking for... to much time, I couldnt kiss her, I feared her moving away, even when it was obvious that she was interested; after a loooong time it became uncomfortable, I started getting nervous and... you know, now Im here complaining hahahaha.

I was once like you. In my experience, I just started doing anything I could get away with. If she doesn't get up and leave, it's a go!

Never ever apologize for your desires as a man.

Quote: (07-14-2017 12:15 PM)Kaligula Wrote:  

I like Evan&Mongo story, but how can you tell it with a straight face....?
I sense that if I were to tell this story I would inadvertently start laughing..... Well, pick up is absurd, but how far it can go, and how it make to go so....?

You don't. Have fun with it. Keep it light, breezy and funny. Girls laughing and talking about sex with you is the ideal state you want them in.

In my story Evan and Mongo aren't important. after all they dont even exist. What does matter is I get to say "he pulls you down by your hair, rips your clothes off, and fucks civilization out of you until you cant walk straight fro a week"(sic). Im just trying to let her know what Im thinking about, while conjuring a visceral response in her that she associates me with: the 'jungle fuck". Being dominated, manhandled ravaged and even raped (as long as its by a sexy rapist...not a creepy one) is a common fantasy scenario with most if not all girls

Remember...what you say is irrelevant really. No one remembers anyway. What they do remember is how you make them feel

OP

I misread your original post and so misunderstood the issue. I see now it's not that girls are not letting you close but rather that you are unable to take the action in getting physical.

The cause of the "problem" is simple to diagnose

Motivation

I dont mean motivation in the sense of being motivated to get off the couch or in this case kiss the girl.

Ive written many posts about the two sides of human motivations

Fear and Desire

Everything we as humans do (or dont do) is driven by the continuous struggle between fear and desire.

Every Single Thing

In your case fear (of rejection) is winning against desire (for sex)

Your solution lies in a simple question

How do you make desire win against fear?

The answer is simple too.

Desire has to be "bigger" in your mind than the fear

How?

How you/ I /we communicate with ourselves is the key to everything in life. Here's a simple exercise to retrain your inner self dialogue regarding fear. This works for everything but lets make it specific to your fear about escalating with a girl.

Close your eyes and imagine a scenario where your sitting with a girl. Try to really visualize everything. The place, time of day or night, what are you wearing, whats is she wearing, what are the sounds around you, smells, textures.....etc etc. Visualize as much detail as possible.

Now add the moment when you are going to make a move to kiss her and

Freeze it!

Snap an imaginary bubble around this scenario AND your apprehension (fear) as you make a move to kiss the girl

You should now have that entire moment "contained" in a visualized bubble.

Got it? Do you see it? Yes?

If you really are visualizing this then that bubble has to have a certain "size" in your minds eye.

Whatever that size is, shrink it. Make the entire detailed scenario including your feelings grow smaller and smaller until its just the size of a dime in your minds eye

If you have done this correctly then the entire scenario including your fear are contained in a bubble the size of a dime

Now repeat all of the above only this time your in bed with the girl fucking her. Imagine her skin, her smell, her pussy. how it feels on your dick, etc etc agin as much detail as possible. Feel how good it feels?

Only this time when you resize the bubble make it bigger/ Make it big as real life or even bigger. Do you feel how fun / good this is?

You just made your desire bigger than your fear... in seconds. Now all you have to do is keep repeating it until it's automatic...like any habit (I like to refer to positive habits as "havits")

This visualization exercise only takes a few seconds and should be repeated every day. If done daily for 3 weeks it should become a habit and a very powerful technique for analyzing your motivational conflicts and making what you want (desire) out of life much bigger and dominant than what you dont want (fear)

Understanding that fear and desire, and the perpetual conflict between them are the only two motivators of the human condition is a powerful simplification (to me it was life changing). Once you accept that fundamental truth then understanding that how you perceive reality can be a choice is the next step to creating and getting the life you want

Play on