any regrets after getting a one night stand? it happens to me (not only once)and i am just confused now. I am confused whether it is worth the price to be a player which means not be your true self, i just realize that having sex with a random woman (who you know she's just a bitch ), is just a waste of time. I just feel disgusted sometimes and i regret having done it.

Plenty of guys have regrets after banging a woman on a ONS.

Thing is, it's probably not for the reasons you're describing.

For them it's because they were super horny, got off, and realized they could do so much better.

Or, they were drunk, pulled a girl at a club and turns out they were a donkey in the morning.


Your kind of regret is of guilt, is of not adhering to your own standards and letting yourself down.

Some men aren't built for sleeping around multiple women, and that's completely fine.

However, I always suggest testing the waters to see what you like in a woman, physically and emotionally.

Especially before you search for an LTR or marriage.

If you have a ONS with a woman, then it's over, you don't have to deal with her after that.

A ONS is actually the LEAST waste of time, since typically you aren't dating her, or going on multiple dates to finally bang her.


Let me ask you a few questions:

What exactly are your regrets after a ONS with women ?

What do you mean "is it worth the price to be a player" ?

What are your fears about a ONS ?

Not sure if serious or trolling. Only reason I've regretted a ONS.... there is none, not once have I regretted it. Anxiety is the only thing I've felt when the girl was a bit dirty and I raw dogged.

Get your T levels checked.

Quote: (04-11-2017 02:35 PM)Vill@in Wrote:  

Get your T levels checked.

This ^

Also, how attractive are these women you are talking about.

If you're rolling around the mud with some warthog you're not going to feel like a champ in the next day.

If youre not leading them on (saying things that make her think you want/ intend an LTR) then you have nothing to feel guilty about.

She's getting something (emotionally / physically) from the exchange (sex) else she wouldn't be there too

Relax. Its just sex. Happens millions of times every day

It's your dick: it's not a bar of soap so it won't wear out.

I promise

Banging bitches you really dislike as a person is like a free bad behavior pass. I give myself bonus points when I let a cunt watch me wipe my dick off on her pillow, curtains, or cat just after I fucked her and I get up to leave

Quote: (04-11-2017 02:02 PM)Odin.fils.de.bor Wrote:  

any regrets after getting a one night stand? it happens to me (not only once)and i am just confused now. I am confused whether it is worth the price to be a player which means not be your true self, i just realize that having sex with a random woman (who you know she's just a bitch ), is just a waste of time. I just feel disgusted sometimes and i regret having done it.

It's called the moral hangover. Welcome to my world young man.

We all regret pulling a pig home as a last resort

If you banged a hottie you'd have no regrets

Just try to improve yourself and get better quality, you will have no more hang ups

Quote: (04-11-2017 02:09 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Let me ask you a few questions:

What exactly are your regrets after a ONS with women ?

What do you mean "is it worth the price to be a player" ?

What are your fears about a ONS ?

1- My regrets is that i know some girls from my college and i slept with them despite knowing that they are snakes and spray venom while speaking and the fact that i still can meet them during my studies and that i know how bitchy and entitled they are makes me feel bad.

2- to play the game , to succeed the kind of shit tests, to know exactly how and when to respond, be aloof and make them feel that being with you is worth it but i rarely felt enjoying my time with most of them. and it seems like when other girls see you with other women they get more excited to know you. woman's psychology...
as i said before, being a player usually mean not being yourself, because in someway you're trying to impress the women, and many are not worth it.

3- it must be psychological, i feel dirty when sleeping with a slutty woman, maybe it doesn't make me happier and it just makes me feel bad about giving her pleasure and having shared an intimate moment with her.

Quote: (04-11-2017 02:40 PM)UlteriorMotive Wrote:  

Quote: (04-11-2017 02:35 PM)Vill@in Wrote:  

Get your T levels checked.

This ^

Also, how attractive are these women you are talking about.

If you're rolling around the mud with some warthog you're not going to feel like a champ in the next day.

i am not good at giving notes based on the appearance, they're just not ugly and not the kind of top models.

Quote: (04-11-2017 03:02 PM)Odin.fils.de.bor Wrote:  

1- My regrets is that i know some girls from my college and i slept with them despite knowing that they are snakes and spray venom while speaking and the fact that i still can meet them during my studies and that i know how bitchy and entitled they are makes me feel bad.

You shouldn't feel bad, nor give a shit what they think of your or anyone else. You had sex with them, you won.

Quote:Quote:

2- to play the game , to succeed the kind of shit tests, to know exactly how and when to respond, be aloof and make them feel that being with you is worth it but i rarely felt enjoying my time with most of them. and it seems like when other girls see you with other women they get more excited to know you. woman's psychology...
as i said before, being a player usually mean not being yourself, because in someway you're trying to impress the women, and many are not worth it.

Most women you just enjoy the intimacy you had that given moment, most women you aren't going to enjoy in the long run.

It's rare to find a good woman you enjoy your company with.

Women seeing you with other women, what you're describing is your increased sexual market value, always be seen with cute and hot women.

Being a player doesn't mean you have to fake everything you do or lie. And keep in mind in the end, a woman should be wanting to impress YOU.

Quote:Quote:

3- it must be psychological, i feel dirty when sleeping with a slutty woman, maybe it doesn't make me happier and it just makes me feel bad about giving her pleasure and having shared an intimate moment with her.

I honestly think you're over analyzing this part.

Intimate moments should be enjoyed and should be fun with women.

It's okay to bang a slut, it's also okay to bang a decent girl.

Most of the guys already touched on what I was going to say. I would ask if you had any sort of religious background, lingering oneitis, or other background issues which make you feel guilty.

The first rule of being a player is: my preferences are not to be sacrificied for a woman. You ought to be more succesful with that attitude. The cost of shitty pussy will go down, and you might incidentally fuck one of them when bored.

If you're going against what you're values truly are... then you need to reassess what are your priorities. The only times I felt bad about getting some Pus was when my D was smelling like Raw Fish for 3 days. Yeah... shouldn't have smashed... but you know!

Quote: (04-11-2017 03:02 PM)Odin.fils.de.bor Wrote:  

Quote: (04-11-2017 02:09 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Let me ask you a few questions:

What exactly are your regrets after a ONS with women ?

What do you mean "is it worth the price to be a player" ?

What are your fears about a ONS ?

1- My regrets is that i know some girls from my college and i slept with them despite knowing that they are snakes and spray venom while speaking and the fact that i still can meet them during my studies and that i know how bitchy and entitled they are makes me feel bad.

2- to play the game , to succeed the kind of shit tests, to know exactly how and when to respond, be aloof and make them feel that being with you is worth it but i rarely felt enjoying my time with most of them. and it seems like when other girls see you with other women they get more excited to know you. woman's psychology...
as i said before, being a player usually mean not being yourself, because in someway you're trying to impress the women, and many are not worth it.

3- it must be psychological, i feel dirty when sleeping with a slutty woman, maybe it doesn't make me happier and it just makes me feel bad about giving her pleasure and having shared an intimate moment with her.

To answer your original question - yes, I have. The times I have regretted sleeping with someone was when I felt I had gone against some inner voice or knowing about their character and possible negative/harmful outcomes. You can call it intuition, sixth-sense, common sense, the voice of experience of whatever you want but I have learned to listen to the quiet inner voice, which in times of possible or certain danger is saying to you 'don't do it, don't do it...' If you don't listen to that intuition, you're likely to experience a sick feeling in your chest and stomach afterward, or during. I know too well.

We are far more than just bags of conscious meat - there's a soul animating each of us and each soul has a purpose and motivation that's unique. I'm a big proponent of finding your purpose, moving toward your goals, and letting the right kind and quality of women appear.

A few women I've had sex with felt like they were a kind of energetic vampires - I had a vague sense of concern at first, but was beguiled by their sexiness or my lust in the moment. After sex I felt drained and uncomfortable. The farther away I got (as in, literally getting in my car and driving away) the better (or less-bad!) my body felt. It could take a full day or even two to get back to feeling neutral, calm, and peaceful.

I've also had really amazing sex, passionate, tender, animalistic, all kinds of expressions but it felt in sync and positive. But I've found the wilder the girl, the more likely I'll feel bad to some degree afterward. I could deal with this more easily in my 20s, but now I'm far more selective about who I have sex with.

I don't think there's anything wrong with what you feel and the thoughts that are coming up as a result of it. I have had my fair share of notches and could get more but as I hit my late 30s and early 40s, other goals and demands of life started to take precedence.

My suggestion to you is to examine what your motivations are for pursuing sex. Most people don't consider the reasons. Perhaps you need a period of self-imposed celibacy to get clear of other people's sexual energy and the cattiness/gossip around you. As a man, getting space is sometimes the hardest thing to do but I got to a point like you're describing - in my case, having two very intense and somewhat crazy relationships going on at once - before I said 'enough! No more sex until I figure out what sex really means for ME!' I didn't know what to expect but I knew I needed space.

If you examine David Deida (lots of videos and podcasts on Youtube) he talks about this as going from the 1st stage of co-dependent relationship to the 2nd stage of independence. I couldn't actually have relationships that were healthy for me until I took a break from them and looked at myself. Counseling, solo travel, journaling, working out, picking up new hobbies or reigniting old ones, making new guys friends or connecting with guys you used to hang out with. But mostly, just being alone and getting to be comfortable with myself. It's like when you go in the middle of the desert or a forest and it's totally still and you can hear the blood pumping in your ears and you realize you haven't heard silence like that before.

Get comfortable with yourself and you will have deeper intuition, you will attract better quality women and they will see your real depth, not some made-up player facade. You're welcome to PM if you have more questions or would like other specific recommendations. Good luck in your journey, brother!

Perhaps this is an oversimplication, but here's how I view it: Each girl you sleep with provides experience. Experience helps to build your confidence. Confidence helps you to not only sleep with more girls, but better looking ones as well.

I've had girls I've regretted getting into relationships with, but I don't regret sleeping with any of the girls I've slept with.

Thats your value system telling you you have gone against some inner value to get pussy.

Be it lying, cheating, manipulating, bullying. You did something you know is wrong, thinking with your cock instead of your brain.

No pussy is worth breaking your inner value system for.

Odin.fils.de.bor,

You are simply realising you need to seek higher quality women. Looks + personality + value system - not just looks.

It is okay to accept you find pure ONS unfulfilling. Approach girls you'd be willing to develop things with. Some will turn into something more, some will be by chance ONS. Accept that it's the name of the game for you.

I have slept with a few girls who I didn't respect due to their personality / values in my time and I know the exact feeling you have after. You are right - it's disgust, regret and a feeling of wasted time.

Happened twice:
1) A girl who told me AFTERWARDS that she was dating my friend (he never knew)
2) A married chick - but I felt better when I learned that she had kids before getting married, because the guy should have expected it.

To answer your question. Yes.

After a breakup with a gf of 3 yrs(the only girl I've ever committed to). I slept with an ex friend of hers(whom she hated) 3 days later. The girl I fucked also used to date a good friend of mine and I knew she was a total slut. Even though she was a beautiful 22 yr old blond with a great body, I became depressed shortly after. The reason is that I was lamenting how things went down with the ex. She was a fairly decent girl and the whole relationship was basically me treating her like shit. At that moment I felt a bunch of guilt for basically the whole relationship and this was the icing on the cake.

The sex with the slut was actually fun if you are into rough pornstar sex. But something seemed to change with me. While I did enjoy the two times I fucked her. Overall it felt kind of crude. This girl was/is a completely worthless skank. For about a year after that I could no longer game women or feel like I was being myself around them anymore.

I had spent the previous 5-7 years going ham and gaming every woman that passed the boner test. As a natural introvert it was all new to me. I got a massive rush from talking to random women, saying the most outlandish things and watching their eyes light up with attraction. So I went pretty hard for those years. Even losing a job because of it. Consequently my newfound game abilities attracted a girl that ticked off nearly all my requirements for girlfriend material.

Basically she fell really hard for me and I couldn't get rid of her. Looking back I did indeed care about her deeply. I just could not bring myself to show it to her. Things got toxic near the end and I just wanted her gone. Anyway my regrets with the skank are probably for differing reasons than yours as I'm 36. It seemed to mark a turning point in the direction of my life. It's been 2 years since I broke up with the ex. I've only slept with a few women since her.

I still to this day can't go back to my "gaming" days. In fact you could probably say I've regressed socially as I have little desire to game modern women. If it's good sex I wanted bad enough I'd rather hire a prostitute or two and get my money's worth. Maybe it's because I've been working in the club/bar scene for far too long and I'm burnt out. Maybe it's because the western woman is altogether worthless in my eyes. Maybe it's just me.

I think that in my case I've reached an age where I feel it's degrading to pull the dancing monkey act to hold the modern females attention. My thoughts turn towards Family more and more. However I'm in no position financially to raise kids and I enjoy the freedom of the single life.

Anyway regarding the regret I felt. I think perhaps it was the culmination of a lot of internal issues I was having that in some ways smacked me in the face after that incident. Perhaps it was the realization that I could've done a lot things with more integrity in the relationship.

During the relationship I had no money, no ambition and a car about to break down any day. After the breakup I began working 60 hrs a week and became more productive than ever in my life. I have more money saved than ever. A 12k car paid for. I started a blog that has a small following now. I was offered to write for another blog which has been amazing. Going to write an Ebook. Looking into starting a moving company as well as some other investments.

Well this reply has become quite long so I'll wrap it up. I've definitely been in your shoes. Even if the regret is for differing reasons. I think we all desire human touch and companionship sometimes, even me. Yet as I've aged this whole idea of romantic love is overrated to me. We waste all this time and effort on it. I've come to the realization it's all an illusion. A corporate fairy tale to keep you in line.

Sometimes accepting the grim truth of a cold and heartess world can take time to adjust.

Be like Corey

NSFW

http://video.genfb.com/976124859160656

Maybe that means you are a k-selected guy. I felt the same last summer when I banged a 7,5 slutty girl in a summer festival. After fucking her I thought: is this all? wtf. For me, banging promiscuous girls is the same than fucking paid whores: no emotional connection whatsoever. Yes, they can suck my cock really well, but it's just sports fucking.

The reality is that for feeling good after sex, you must be real with yourself and if you want to see her again, it's because you like her. A good thing to do would be try to find girls compatible with you.

Good luck!

The only time I've felt bad after sex is if she was well below standard and bad in bed. But the formula required both. Ive had fun with a uglier girl from time to time if she put in work. God made light switches for a reason.

Even if i do hit the formula and feel a bit bad about it it's fleeting. I can bounce back with a better bang. Life goes on. Good luck bro!

The ones I've felt bad about:

- ONS, wished I hadn't set it up that way because she was cool. Not wife material, but above my station in life at that time and it would have been good to have her around for a while.
- Not a ONS but it should have been, because she was an innocent soul and got hurt when she didn't understand what we were doing. Had to dump her cold when she fell in love with me.
- ONS with a completely valueless skank. I actually felt bad for the things she let me do to her, and bad for even bothering with her.

Otherwise, no. Holes is holes.

Sometimes. But I quickly get over it.