Basic game question, and current issue, it very well could be newbie. But its really more like fundamental, because I think this happens to everyone from time to time.

Do you ever put up with a women making fun of you? Or shall we say for our UK friends, taking a piss out of you?

Let say its her culture, and her and her friends do that a lot. But in your first meeting with them, she starts taking digs at you. In fact several over the course of the evening. And this is the first evening where you are meeting her friends and family.

Is it ever ok to be on the receiving end, from your girl like this? If I see someone getting mercilessly made fun of from their girlfriend, I automatically think that guy is a chump.

Do you ever let your girl get away with this?

She did this to me on one of our first weekends for meeting her family and friends. At the end of the second night, I went apeshit angry on her in our bedroom, and said a lot of ridiculously angry and nasty things to her. I was pissed, but not ok. Lets see if this one sticks around.

Is it better to play along and make her cry with your vicious comebacks, or stay quiet, let the night unfold, then walk away from the bitch for good.

Quote: (07-03-2016 01:41 PM)Vaun Wrote:  

Basic game question, and current issue, it very well could be newbie. But its really more like fundamental, because I think this happens to everyone from time to time.

Do you ever put up with a women making fun of you? Or shall we say for our UK friends, taking a piss out of you?

Let say its her culture, and her and her friends do that a lot. But in your first meeting with them, she starts taking digs at you. In fact several over the course of the evening. And this is the first evening where you are meeting her friends and family.

Is it ever ok to be on the receiving end, from your girl like this? If I see someone getting mercilessly made fun of from their girlfriend, I automatically think that guy is a chump.

Do you ever let your girl get away with this?

She did this to me on one of our first weekends for meeting her family and friends. At the end of the second night, I went apeshit angry on her in our bedroom, and said a lot of ridiculously angry and nasty things to her. I was pissed, but not ok. Lets see if this one sticks around.

Is it better to play along and make her cry with your vicious comebacks, or stay quiet, let the night unfold, then walk away from the bitch for good.

Isn't it: "Taking the piss out of you"? One sounds like messing with someone, breaking their balls, trash-talking, etc. . The other sounds like: throwing shit on girls

Quote: (07-03-2016 01:41 PM)Vaun Wrote:  

Is it better to play along and make her cry with your vicious comebacks, or stay quiet, let the night unfold, then walk away from the bitch for good.

That's a losing sum game. Vicious comebacks are going to turn into a victim game, read the psychology book ("Games People Play)

Quote:Quote:

This is an archetypal victim game, although victimhood is at the heart of many other games. People who play victim in various situations often get their reward later on in poor me sessions where an accomplice offers them sympathy. Victims also get the benefit of absolving themselves from responsibility. Nothing is felt to be really their fault (although they may berate themselves). They are victims of circumstance and other people. They enjoy the anticipation of hope of rescue in the manner of the helpless child.

My response in this situation would have been to make eye contact, smile, and say "That's a freebie, if you disrespect me again, you'll be walking your ass home. Now, I would like to enjoy my glass of wine and and finish my meal."

If I can be completely honest with you however. Once you lose your masculinity edge in a relationship, it's almost impossible to regain it. So shifting this relationship to where you are in control and she respects you, is gonna be very hard for you -- almost impossible. If you like this girl stay with her, but it's going to be 10 times easier for you to find a new girl and remain in control. You may also look at your personality type, it's hard to give you advice without seeing what type of person you are. But I will tell you that a girl teasing you in front of her family or friends is not a normal thing; it's a sign of her not taking you seriously.

Good luck with the situation.

As Linux has already pointed out: A woman showing blatant, public disrespect almost never gets better but actually gets more ingrained later on, and increases in frequency and in degree. Please see my signature courtesy of LDN. This is your sure course of action. Women test men to see if they will take shit from them then they begin to doubt their ability to protect the female themselves from outside verbal/physical attacks or intimidation. As Linux also remarked, reframing these dynamics in an ongoing relationship is rare and one needs rock hard frame and a ingrained IDGAF attitude. Good Luck. Don't get arrested.

Quote: (07-03-2016 03:03 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

Quote: (07-03-2016 01:41 PM)Vaun Wrote:  

Is it better to play along and make her cry with your vicious comebacks, or stay quiet, let the night unfold, then walk away from the bitch for good.

That's a losing sum game. Vicious comebacks are going to turn into a victim game, read the psychology book ("Games People Play)

Quote:Quote:

This is an archetypal victim game, although victimhood is at the heart of many other games. People who play victim in various situations often get their reward later on in poor me sessions where an accomplice offers them sympathy. Victims also get the benefit of absolving themselves from responsibility. Nothing is felt to be really their fault (although they may berate themselves). They are victims of circumstance and other people. They enjoy the anticipation of hope of rescue in the manner of the helpless child.

My response in this situation would have been to make eye contact, smile, and say "That's a freebie, if you disrespect me again, you'll be walking your ass home. Now, I would like to enjoy my glass of wine and and finish my meal."

If I can be completely honest with you however. Once you lose your masculinity edge in a relationship, it's almost impossible to regain it. So shifting this relationship to where you are in control and she respects you, is gonna be very hard for you -- almost impossible. If you like this girl stay with her, but it's going to be 10 times easier for you to find a new girl and remain in control. You may also look at your personality type, it's hard to give you advice without seeing what type of person you are. But I will tell you that a girl teasing you in front of her family or friends is not a normal thing; it's a sign of her not taking you seriously.

Good luck with the situation.

Trust me, its a losing situation for you. I endured a marriage of 23 years with someone like that. Its basically a lack of respect. Sarcasm and ball busting are signs of disrespect. You will have to take a zero tolerance approach. No matter when or where she does this you have to give it back to her times 10. You could be at church or in front of her parents, NEVER let her get away with it. You may be able to tame the shrew if you handle it right.

Every woman, just like a child, should have a healthy respect and fear of awakening the beast. A woman should fear your disaproval almost as much she fears your primal anger. She is howing her friends and family that she wears the pants in the relationship and that you are lucky to be with her. those are not the feelings you should be stirring in her. Early on I let a woman know I have the capacity to get very pissed off, in a controlled yet calm manner for a minor, even imagined, show of disrespect from her. This keeps them on eggshells, not only desiring to please you, but purposely going to lengths to avoid invoking your inner Silverback Gorilla. In Pimping 101 this is called:"Keeping your foot on a bitches neck" or "Keeping your bitch on a leash."
All bitches must be on a leash at all times in my dog park.

Quote: (07-03-2016 03:25 PM)Steve H Wrote:  

Trust me, its a losing situation for you. I endured a marriage of 23 years with someone like that. Its basically a lack of respect. Sarcasm and ball busting are signs of disrespect. You will have to take a zero tolerance approach. No matter when or where she does this you have to give it back to her times 10. You could be at church or in front of her parents, NEVER let her get away with it. You may be able to tame the shrew if you handle it right.

I view it as a lack of respect as well. The man I was sitting next to, the former CEO of a major Euro car manufacturer and his wife, saw it as well. They are my gf's new in laws. I was trying to have a fruitful, positive conversation with them. I knew they all thought she was a bitch, when she was basically trying to ruin the conversation. The husband and wife knew what was happening and were turned off to the overall scene. Once before she did this, and I went off on her then and broke up with her then. I didnt expect her to do this with her family, since the whole point of the trip was for me to meet them. When I told my dad today he told me to dump her for good. Older generations view women like this as a liability. I have come pretty far with this one, so its not as easy to write it off so quick. But I think I know now what I got to do.

I held it all in and went off with some nasty anger back in our room at night. Told her off and and made her cry. Had sex after the fight. I broke up with her but she wants to stay together. Trying to decide if its even worth it now.

Told her I was upset about the whole thing now, and got nothing from her. No ownership of guilt, or admittance of anything. Like I was talking to a wall. Thats when I knew what I was really dealing with. Now I am texting some old plates to let out some frustration.

Quote: (07-03-2016 03:52 PM)Vaun Wrote:  

Quote: (07-03-2016 03:25 PM)Steve H Wrote:  

Trust me, its a losing situation for you. I endured a marriage of 23 years with someone like that. Its basically a lack of respect. Sarcasm and ball busting are signs of disrespect. You will have to take a zero tolerance approach. No matter when or where she does this you have to give it back to her times 10. You could be at church or in front of her parents, NEVER let her get away with it. You may be able to tame the shrew if you handle it right.

I view it as a lack of respect as well. The man I was sitting next to, the former CEO of a major Euro car manufacturer and his wife, saw it as well. I was trying to have a fruitful conversation with them. I knew they all thought she was a bitch, when she was basically trying to ruin the conversation. The husband and wife knew what was happening and were turned off to the overall scene. When I told my dad today he told me to dump her for good. Older generations view women like this as a liability. I have come pretty far with this one, so its not as easy to write it off so quick. But I think I know now what I got to do.

I held it all in and went off with some nasty anger back in our room at night. Told her off and and made her cry. Had sex after the fight. I broke up with her but she wants to stay together. Trying to decide if its even worth it now.

Maybe, but only as FWB's and only if you enjoy hate-fucking her. The scene you described sounds painfully awkward. I would have interrupted the dinner with a "Please excuse me, it's passed this ones bedtime and she gets cranky when she stays up past her bedtime. Let me tuck her in and I will be right back to the adult table." Stand up and make her excuse herself upstairs. "Be a good girl and say goodnight, Gracie." She will feel like a six year old.

She will think twice when she knows any embarassment dished out by her will be returned in spades. Unfortunately people, especially those like your dinner guests, will think that you are also immature for being in an LTR with a woman like that. It will be hard to control her behavior without getting out of your own character in doing so.
Never appear in public or private with that woman ever again
is my advice.

Quote: (07-03-2016 04:07 PM)AboveAverageJoe Wrote:  

She will think twice when she knows any embarassment dished out by her will be returned in spades. Unfortunately people, especially those like your dinner guests, will think that you are also immature for being in an LTR with a woman like that. It will be hard to control her behavior without getting out of your own character in doing so.
Never appear in public or private with that woman ever again
is my advice.

Spot on. I could tell their feelings got muddied. I really dont think the reprimand behind closed doors really got it done. She said and did a few things in front of her friends too. They had the same disgusted reaction. And I really have better things to do than spend time with a women I have to reprimand in public for her lack of just treating me nice.

Gentleman, no matter how special your little snowflake is, how smart, caring, non-American, etc, you think she is, you never really know your women. And in that case, shes a liability. A wildcard that can sink your hand at any moment. A liability is a lot to maintain. Can a man find a sweet caring wife? I think so, but its rare, and not a fun walk in the park. Her pussy may be clean and delicious, she could be your unicorn, but in the end, the same shit keeps coming up. They are all women.

I love banter, and its very ingrained in the UK culture, and its good clean fun.

You have to beaqt her at the banter game, take the piss better, harder and funnier.

Getting all butt hurt, sulking ot demanding she stop is not going to work because its counter to her culture, and makes you look like a fragile beta-boy with no sense of humour.

I make fun of current plate constantly, and she makes fun of me.

However, I have extremely high confidence and a very relaxed demeanor.

She also knows not to go too far in front of my friends or clients.

Quote: (07-03-2016 07:08 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

I love banter, and its very ingrained in the UK culture, and its good clean fun.

You have to beaqt her at the banter game, take the piss better, harder and funnier.

Getting all butt hurt, sulking ot demanding she stop is not going to work because its counter to her culture, and makes you look like a fragile beta-boy with no sense of humour.

Part of me thought it could be this, but it was unexpected. She kept saying, it's just banter, etc. I got thrown into it for the first this weekend coming from America, with a wedding and a large dinner with her family in the south. They all talked to each other like that. I sulked because it was all coming from her, right when I was meeting everyone for the first time. My reaction was that I didnt like it, and I yelled at her. I can appreciate it as British culture, but this was a crash course.

Quote: (07-03-2016 03:40 PM)AboveAverageJoe Wrote:  

---snipped---
.....
This keeps them on eggshells, not only desiring to please you, but purposely going to lengths to avoid invoking your inner Silverback Gorilla. In Pimping 101 this is called:"Keeping your foot on a bitches neck" or "Keeping your bitch on a leash."
All bitches must be on a leash at all times in my dog park.

Is there a thread dedicated to "keeping your bitch on a leash?"

Quote: (07-03-2016 09:27 PM)toejam Wrote:  

Quote: (07-03-2016 03:40 PM)AboveAverageJoe Wrote:  

---snipped---
.....
This keeps them on eggshells, not only desiring to please you, but purposely going to lengths to avoid invoking your inner Silverback Gorilla. In Pimping 101 this is called:"Keeping your foot on a bitches neck" or "Keeping your bitch on a leash."
All bitches must be on a leash at all times in my dog park.

Is there a thread dedicated to "keeping your bitch on a leash?"

I do realize that I am making Vauns solutions out to be easy if only in their simplicity alone. Also, it is always easy to say "I would have said..." or think of a cleverer put down in retrospect. It has to be on the fly, in real-time. The problem is it takes eternal vigilance,

A woman will test you when you are the least feeling like dealing with it. The best defense is nipping it in the bud. Gentle ribbing, etc is usually not socially awkward, it is actually funny because everybody gets it and it is cute. This is not that. Vaun clearly is not suffering from butt-hurt, she is proudly belittling him and dressing him down in front of others to feed her own dominant personality traits.

One good rule to establish early in an LTR is that you present a united front in public (including, no more precisely, especially in front of close friends and family.) If anyone has been around couples that start playing "the put down game" they know it is exhausting. Don't be that couple. Other people will notice, think less of you, and where people see weakness they see opportunity.

Some seriously good points by AAJ. Im happy to say my LTR wouldn't pull that shit on her worst day, she knows what would happen.

Even if I seriously piss her off she would never make a scene in front of friends or family, mine or hers.

"Taking the piss" as they say in the UK is not putting someone down, it is very cultural, when I was living in Canada and the USA I had to consciously stop doing this as people did not get it.

An example, I met a girls parents a while back and was offered a light beer as thats all he had, I made a bit off a joke about it, we laughed. We all new it was a joke, that was the tone. You know if someone is down for that type of humour or not, usually in the Uk, Australia and I guess probably Ireland, Scotland etc is the same, most people will "get" it.

This is not something to go into deep thought about, you will know if its a joke or a put down. Having said that it is a 'bloke' thing and I would not accept it from girls in public. If I had a girl do what happened in your example id tell her off, let her know its not acceptable.

Finally if its done in the form of teasing/ playful behaviour it is a good thing, it is flirting, you dont want some up tight bitch who cant take a joke and likewise you must be willing to play along. I do this all the time, it builds comfort.

OP

It sounds as though you like this girl and she isn't just a bang to you. This is why you should drop her fast. Back and forth teasing in private is fun and makes for sexual tension. However, it's a different ballgame when she is doing it over the top in front of others.

Ostensibly, this was a big step in introducing you to her family and friends. Her concern should have been your comfort and demonstrating that she is proud to be your girl. In fact, it was the opposite. She was openly displaying that she doesn't trust your manhood by ridiculing and shit testing you.

Having met you, I know you can do much better and deserve it.

Dump her fast.

Quote: (07-03-2016 03:52 PM)Vaun Wrote:  

Quote: (07-03-2016 03:25 PM)Steve H Wrote:  

Trust me, its a losing situation for you. I endured a marriage of 23 years with someone like that. Its basically a lack of respect. Sarcasm and ball busting are signs of disrespect. You will have to take a zero tolerance approach. No matter when or where she does this you have to give it back to her times 10. You could be at church or in front of her parents, NEVER let her get away with it. You may be able to tame the shrew if you handle it right.

I view it as a lack of respect as well. The man I was sitting next to, the former CEO of a major Euro car manufacturer and his wife, saw it as well. They are my gf's new in laws. I was trying to have a fruitful, positive conversation with them. I knew they all thought she was a bitch, when she was basically trying to ruin the conversation. The husband and wife knew what was happening and were turned off to the overall scene. Once before she did this, and I went off on her then and broke up with her then. I didnt expect her to do this with her family, since the whole point of the trip was for me to meet them. When I told my dad today he told me to dump her for good. Older generations view women like this as a liability. I have come pretty far with this one, so its not as easy to write it off so quick. But I think I know now what I got to do.

I held it all in and went off with some nasty anger back in our room at night. Told her off and and made her cry. Had sex after the fight. I broke up with her but she wants to stay together. Trying to decide if its even worth it now.

Told her I was upset about the whole thing now, and got nothing from her. No ownership of guilt, or admittance of anything. Like I was talking to a wall. Thats when I knew what I was really dealing with. Now I am texting some old plates to let out some frustration.

I was married to a woman who had a propensity to do this sometimes. Often it was a slight, other times it was just saying some stupid, socially awkward shit.

It's not the sole reason of our breakup, but when I was deciding to push to keep it in tact or let the split run its course, it's one of the big things that let me know leaving was the best choice.

I corrected her when she'd do it but inevitably it happened again.

If you want, give her one more and I do mean, ONE more chance. See if it's a part of her character, which it probably is, or just a one time snafu. Character cannot really be changed.

If she does it again, she'll always do it and you need to drop her like a hot rock.

Character is destiny, unfortunately even bad character.

Fuck that her job when bringing you around family and friends is to show you off, make you comfortable, and demonstrate that she is happy with you and respects you. Instead she belittles you. Drop her

When a girl makes fun of me in uncool/unfunny way I call her out hard. It can be fun only when you both tease each other in funny way that it amps up the energy between you both in positive way but it's only a phase in conversation that doesn't last long. However when she crosses the line then she needs to be called out no question.

When a girl still does that to you on following meetings later on then you lost.

If she likes to take a piss out of you, throw shit on girl.

Quote: (07-04-2016 08:03 AM)Dantes Wrote:  

OP

It sounds as though you like this girl and she isn't just a bang to you. This is why you should drop her fast. Back and forth teasing in private is fun and makes for sexual tension. However, it's a different ballgame when she is doing it over the top in front of others.

Ostensibly, this was a big step in introducing you to her family and friends. Her concern should have been your comfort and demonstrating that she is proud to be your girl. In fact, it was the opposite. She was openly displaying that she doesn't trust your manhood by ridiculing and shit testing you.

Having met you, I know you can do much better and deserve it.

Dump her fast.

Thanks Dantes, good advice. This one started as a day approach 10 months ago in my usual haunts, and has come this far all the way to the UK. I am ready to get back to approaching and playing. The life as a player can be remarkably easy, and productive in all areas of ones life. I am ready to get back to that.

Quote: (07-04-2016 02:58 PM)Vaun Wrote:  

Quote: (07-04-2016 08:03 AM)Dantes Wrote:  

OP

It sounds as though you like this girl and she isn't just a bang to you. This is why you should drop her fast. Back and forth teasing in private is fun and makes for sexual tension. However, it's a different ballgame when she is doing it over the top in front of others.

Ostensibly, this was a big step in introducing you to her family and friends. Her concern should have been your comfort and demonstrating that she is proud to be your girl. In fact, it was the opposite. She was openly displaying that she doesn't trust your manhood by ridiculing and shit testing you.

Having met you, I know you can do much better and deserve it.

Dump her fast.

Thanks Dantes, good advice. This one started as a day approach 10 months ago in my usual haunts, and has come this far all the way to the UK. I am ready to get back to approaching and playing. The life as a player can be remarkably easy, and productive in all areas of ones life. I am ready to get back to that.

And she will be back, possibly but not probably, with some act-right in her life.

Never let it frustrate you. I only ever reply with one word: 'Disrespectful'. I've been with girls who have 'downplayed myself' or taken the piss out of me in the past and it's a slippery slope if you allow it to continue. Instead, from the very moment it happens, I merely shake my head with a smile and say 'Disrespectful'. She rarely if ever does it again. If it's continuous, you've lost your frame, and you need to weigh up whether it's worth the effort to win it back, or to simple move on.

To be honest 9 times out of 10 when a girl banters, takes the piss or comes at me a little bitchy out of nowhere it turns out she fancies me. Its often mixed in with status based compliments such as 'Your so good at that' etc which give it a hot/cold push/pull feel which for me are classic signs. I usually just take it as a shit test and just keep my cool and escalate if I think shes worth it.

What I never ever do is act insulted and/or react back with hurtful or spiteful comments. I did this while younger and more inexperienced. This was because I did not understand what she was sub-communicating to me. Hence she always withdrew from anymore interaction from me and froze me out. As I matured and realized the dynamic I just learnt to enjoy and go with it.

More often than not I think any strong emotional reaction whether positive, negative or mixed is an IOI that can be developed if you are not easily fazed. Indifference is indifference. I guess its a combination of not wanting to admit to themselves they fancy you and the usual female shit tests. It brings to mind the line from Hamlet: "The lady doth protest too much, methinks" .