[Vaun]

Its unanimous, I am sending her on. Deciding on whether to ghost or have a short convo first. Its not salvageable. July was always the peak month for approaching to SDL's, plenty of time left. Thanks all for the best advice anywhere.

[Vaun]

(07-03-2016 09:26 PM)Vaun Wrote:  

(07-03-2016 07:08 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

I love banter, and its very ingrained in the UK culture, and its good clean fun.

You have to beaqt her at the banter game, take the piss better, harder and funnier.

Getting all butt hurt, sulking ot demanding she stop is not going to work because its counter to her culture, and makes you look like a fragile beta-boy with no sense of humour.

Part of me thought it could be this, but it was unexpected. She kept saying, it's just banter, etc. I got thrown into it for the first this weekend coming from America, with a wedding and a large dinner with her family in the south. They all talked to each other like that. I sulked because it was all coming from her, right when I was meeting everyone for the first time. My reaction was that I didnt like it, and I yelled at her. I can appreciate it as British culture, but this was a crash course.

Question for the Brits or anyone embedded in the culture, with particular knowledge of the north. Is this a general trait of modern UK women? Educated, girls school, corporate job, dresses well, etc etc. I saw another guy at the party getting shredded all night by his date, a stoutish mid 30's single women who constantly made fun of her boyfriend all night. Saying downright mean shit about his height, and other random stuff. It was really awkward, as an American. To me the guy was a chump for sticking with the aging land whale who made fun of him in public to her work colleagues.

Is this common among these types of women? Or common in British culture in general, that the women generally openly disrespect their men?

[WestIndianArchie]

Shredded != Alpha
Ripped != Alpha
Jacked != Alpha
Respected != Alpha

WIA

[Quintus Curtius]

There's a big difference between gentle, coquettish ribbing done privately, and plain ball-busting.

To break this down, we have to look at the two scenarios: Have you had sex yet, or not? If you're already sleeping with her, you can make allowance for some gentle kidding or ribbing, as long as it's done privately AND no lines are crossed. How do you know if lines are crossed? You just do. Anything attacking your manhood, trying to humiliate you, etc, is crossing lines. Once that happens, get rid of her fast.

If you're not already sleeping with her, you need to have very low tolerance for any kind of ball-busting. Yeah, I know that it can be seen as a shit-test, but in my opinion it's a sign of bad things to come. Argumentative, ball-busting, or snarky women are not good catches. It's also a big turn-off and kills the vibe (for me at least).

So to sum up: don't put up with any bullshit. If you get a few zingers thrown at you, you need to put her in her place real quick. If she busts balls, cut her down to size with a measured response. She'll get the message, believe me.

Once respect and boundaries have been established, you can go forward from there and decide if she's worth continuing to speak to.

Good luck.

[Fortis]

(07-03-2016 01:41 PM)Vaun Wrote:  

Basic game question, and current issue, it very well could be newbie. But its really more like fundamental, because I think this happens to everyone from time to time.

Do you ever put up with a women making fun of you? Or shall we say for our UK friends, taking a piss out of you?

Let say its her culture, and her and her friends do that a lot. But in your first meeting with them, she starts taking digs at you. In fact several over the course of the evening. And this is the first evening where you are meeting her friends and family.

Is it ever ok to be on the receiving end, from your girl like this? If I see someone getting mercilessly made fun of from their girlfriend, I automatically think that guy is a chump.

Do you ever let your girl get away with this?

She did this to me on one of our first weekends for meeting her family and friends. At the end of the second night, I went apeshit angry on her in our bedroom, and said a lot of ridiculously angry and nasty things to her. I was pissed, but not ok. Lets see if this one sticks around.

Is it better to play along and make her cry with your vicious comebacks, or stay quiet, let the night unfold, then walk away from the bitch for good.

Hmm, I don't think this is very common. Definitely not common for me in asia. I have had girls do this back home when I was younger, but it stopped after a while.

I could see this happening to you since you have a positive and friendly vibe and that brings out the worst in people who aren't happy themselves.

I'd honestly next. I really don't like to defend myself with people all the time. A cute joke once in a while is ok, but full on digs is disrespectful. Even me and my closest friends don't do that to each other much.

You don't wanna get sucked down to that level.

[Silva]

I've had similar situations to this a couple of times, however it was from a female friend as opposed to an LTR.

The female friend in question is always busting peoples balls, making snarky comments to me and her other friends in public. On one occasion I literally called her a bitch and told her to shut the fuck up for a blatantly disrespectful comment she made on me.

Yes the UK norm is to 'banter' and 'take the piss', however there is a fine line between bantering and being blatantly disrespectful, as this girl was.

What amazes me is that her 'boyfriend' continues to take shit from her in front of everyone, yet seems unaffected. Maybe it's just this girls personality type?

[Vaun]

(07-13-2016 07:06 PM)Silva Wrote:  

I've had similar situations to this a couple of times, however it was from a female friend as opposed to an LTR.

The female friend in question is always busting peoples balls, making snarky comments to me and her other friends in public. On one occasion I literally called her a bitch and told her to shut the fuck up for a blatantly disrespectful comment she made on me.

Yes the UK norm is to 'banter' and 'take the piss', however there is a fine line between bantering and being blatantly disrespectful, as this girl was.

What amazes me is that her 'boyfriend' continues to take shit from her in front of everyone, yet seems unaffected. Maybe it's just this girls personality type?

Funny how I had the same response and called mine a bitch as well. I wonder how many times your average British girl is called a bitch. I noticed mine being wickedly snarky and ball busting to her friends as well.

Here are my final observations, after ending this relationship this week with this British girl in question;

- British men are often made to look like fools by their women. British women that take the piss of their men do not do so to be funny, they do so to prove their dominance or social status, to be "taken seriously", or to blatantly act like men. British men tend to sit their and take it, and dont say anything and sort of grin, and are hen pecked beyond anything I have ever seen in the US. Its not too far of a stretch to blame the current issues going on in the UK, to how the women treat the men in the UK.

- The British girl I was with clearly used banter as a way to disrespect me in front of her other British friends and family, on several occasions. No I am not butt hurt, she sucked and I ended it last night. Losing my masculine edge earlier in the relationship, and not spotting the pre-spinster crazies, led to me accepting this far too long. Get out of sorts with your British girl and your about to be filet'd in front of everyone you know.

- Banter is funny between men, but women tend not to get the tone and are generally unfunny and tend to offend rather than impress with their wit.

- British women are generally awful to men, and should be mostly avoided for anything other than easy sex, or a FWB. Despite their sex appeal and sexual skills, these women cant be bothered to treat their men well. I'll fuck a british broad any day of the week, wipe my dick on the curtains and walk out the door from now on.

[Robert Plant]

If I have a women who is in any way dominant or bitchy, she is automatically downgraded to fuckbuddy. I'll still sleep with her but no dates, sleepovers or even being seen together.

[puckerman]

Some girls like to be pissed on. You should try it sometime, although it seems kind of odd.

I hope you aren't are talking about a girl "taking piss" in another manner.