Before you all tell me to gtfo, understand I really did put myself out there for her, and even had feelings for her and a cutesy fantasy of us living together monogamously for a long time. She had other plans it (not so surprisingly) turns out..
So, I hooked up with this MILF about a year ago. Bpd or just plain evil manipulate bitch with bpd qualities. Drugs (meth) is in the mix as well. Originally I was selected because of my straight edge policies, and she had been living in/ dealing with tweakervile roommates. So I was kind of a way out for her as she was sick and tired of losing her shit and dealing with lies, other tweakers, etc. I was also a mysterious boy half her age so I'm sure that contributed to the allure mix.
I just wrote an essay about this and her and lost it. I will shortcut to the ending of what I wrote:
She is BPD, possibly bipolar but definitely BPD.
She smokes meth for "pain"
She lives 40ft away from me currently, that is changing at the end of the month. I can partially see into her bedroom.
She tossed me for a meth dealing fat armed auto mechanic. I am supposedly better looking, he has much better game, and gives her meth for her "pain". I get the pleasure of paying to live here for the rest of the month with the primary features being I get to look out my window and guess if she is having sex with him at night. Can't stay up all night like they can, so I get to guess what's going on half the time. She leaves the curtains open so I can see inside, haven't caught them in the act yet. Wish I could if they have been, would give me a little bit of closure.
She ran off with mr meth about 10 days ago now for a night in his van. He's been coming by nearly every night to play bodyguard, and they stay up late, very late. Last night was the first time he didn't come by for the night(but he made up for by coming over in the morning) He did about 4 nights in a row.
She dumped me 10 days ago, claiming it was something to do with text messages I wrote to someone else where I called her mediocre looking, and wished I had young cheerleaders instead. Not the full story and I've tried explaining to her I was venting because she was treating me like shit for some time, usually when mr meth came around. All this was explained in an essay that is now lost so... Will elaborate if requested.
She openly told me and admitted to me that she was going to start smoking little bits of meth for her "pain", around the 25th of March.
Been living across/near her since January, after we reconnected. Almost been with her since April of last year, dumped me in September.
So basically we had(or maybe it was just me) a GREAT time in the end of March beginning of April, full of amazing sex, love, laughs. Lasted about 5 days. Still not sure what went wrong other than mr meth showed up one night and she flipped out on me a few days later. That's when she got into my phone and the next morning supposedly read those text messages about her. For all I know she read those earlier, could be acting most of it, I suspect she just used it as an excuse to break up with me.
Also things were damn near terrible nearly all of February. No sex for nearly a whole month. I wonder if she went as long as I did as mr meth would show up on occasion and she would order me out, yelling, screaming, lying, making shit up as soon as he arrived, etc... March was pretty tough also but at least I got a little something...
She went dark on me essentially the night she took off in Mr meths van(earlier that day she essentially dumped me and claimed to have read those mean texts about her) came back next day, and a few days later he started his body guard routine. She did have contact with me after a few days after the night she took off and it was not pretty I assure you.
So she went cold on me for about 8 days, no talking, texts, etc. Three days ago she dropped off some wood in the brief minute I wasn't around, and then had her friend call me two days ago to see if I still had the same phone number. Yesterday she texted me asking for her property back, and in return I texted her a question asking why did she bother to drop off firewood, and a YouTube link, which she then sent another text at night:
"I dropped off kindling and paper because several times you seemed like you were trying to make a fire and I'm human. I have no data. Proud? After your detailed description of me I feel old and unattractive and foolish and Ashamed. Please don't text me any more"
Ok so basically here are my questions
1) After she already went cold on me, she bothered to text me. Then she bothered to text me that. Why? What does this accomplish on her end? What should I of texted back and how can I handle the situation to get her back if possible?
2) Having already been discarded once, is there a chance of us getting back together? Or is that text on her mediocre beauty something she can't block out? What about the cheerleader comments? Is she unsalvageable now because of those texts?
3) I, stupidly, already texted her back in betamale fashon. I told her if I didn't think she was worth it I wouldn't of been with her to begin with, and she's hurting me with her coldness. I then asked her to not text me back... then asked her to visit me that night so we could talk. Of course she didn't, and hasn't texted me since.
Oh, looks lil she finally has a curtain up tonight. Maybe tonight is the lucky night for her boy toy? I hope not, unless its me.
Help... Please... I can't just grab an identical twin of her and I never wanted to loose her to begin with. Maybe I should of sold drugs...
So, I hooked up with this MILF about a year ago. Bpd or just plain evil manipulate bitch with bpd qualities. Drugs (meth) is in the mix as well. Originally I was selected because of my straight edge policies, and she had been living in/ dealing with tweakervile roommates. So I was kind of a way out for her as she was sick and tired of losing her shit and dealing with lies, other tweakers, etc. I was also a mysterious boy half her age so I'm sure that contributed to the allure mix.
I just wrote an essay about this and her and lost it. I will shortcut to the ending of what I wrote:
She is BPD, possibly bipolar but definitely BPD.
She smokes meth for "pain"
She lives 40ft away from me currently, that is changing at the end of the month. I can partially see into her bedroom.
She tossed me for a meth dealing fat armed auto mechanic. I am supposedly better looking, he has much better game, and gives her meth for her "pain". I get the pleasure of paying to live here for the rest of the month with the primary features being I get to look out my window and guess if she is having sex with him at night. Can't stay up all night like they can, so I get to guess what's going on half the time. She leaves the curtains open so I can see inside, haven't caught them in the act yet. Wish I could if they have been, would give me a little bit of closure.
She ran off with mr meth about 10 days ago now for a night in his van. He's been coming by nearly every night to play bodyguard, and they stay up late, very late. Last night was the first time he didn't come by for the night(but he made up for by coming over in the morning) He did about 4 nights in a row.
She dumped me 10 days ago, claiming it was something to do with text messages I wrote to someone else where I called her mediocre looking, and wished I had young cheerleaders instead. Not the full story and I've tried explaining to her I was venting because she was treating me like shit for some time, usually when mr meth came around. All this was explained in an essay that is now lost so... Will elaborate if requested.
She openly told me and admitted to me that she was going to start smoking little bits of meth for her "pain", around the 25th of March.
Been living across/near her since January, after we reconnected. Almost been with her since April of last year, dumped me in September.
So basically we had(or maybe it was just me) a GREAT time in the end of March beginning of April, full of amazing sex, love, laughs. Lasted about 5 days. Still not sure what went wrong other than mr meth showed up one night and she flipped out on me a few days later. That's when she got into my phone and the next morning supposedly read those text messages about her. For all I know she read those earlier, could be acting most of it, I suspect she just used it as an excuse to break up with me.
Also things were damn near terrible nearly all of February. No sex for nearly a whole month. I wonder if she went as long as I did as mr meth would show up on occasion and she would order me out, yelling, screaming, lying, making shit up as soon as he arrived, etc... March was pretty tough also but at least I got a little something...
She went dark on me essentially the night she took off in Mr meths van(earlier that day she essentially dumped me and claimed to have read those mean texts about her) came back next day, and a few days later he started his body guard routine. She did have contact with me after a few days after the night she took off and it was not pretty I assure you.
So she went cold on me for about 8 days, no talking, texts, etc. Three days ago she dropped off some wood in the brief minute I wasn't around, and then had her friend call me two days ago to see if I still had the same phone number. Yesterday she texted me asking for her property back, and in return I texted her a question asking why did she bother to drop off firewood, and a YouTube link, which she then sent another text at night:
"I dropped off kindling and paper because several times you seemed like you were trying to make a fire and I'm human. I have no data. Proud? After your detailed description of me I feel old and unattractive and foolish and Ashamed. Please don't text me any more"
Ok so basically here are my questions
1) After she already went cold on me, she bothered to text me. Then she bothered to text me that. Why? What does this accomplish on her end? What should I of texted back and how can I handle the situation to get her back if possible?
2) Having already been discarded once, is there a chance of us getting back together? Or is that text on her mediocre beauty something she can't block out? What about the cheerleader comments? Is she unsalvageable now because of those texts?
3) I, stupidly, already texted her back in betamale fashon. I told her if I didn't think she was worth it I wouldn't of been with her to begin with, and she's hurting me with her coldness. I then asked her to not text me back... then asked her to visit me that night so we could talk. Of course she didn't, and hasn't texted me since.
Oh, looks lil she finally has a curtain up tonight. Maybe tonight is the lucky night for her boy toy? I hope not, unless its me.
Help... Please... I can't just grab an identical twin of her and I never wanted to loose her to begin with. Maybe I should of sold drugs...